Chapter 41
Aoi
I bury my face under the blanket, holding a hand on my chest to feel my heartbeat racing.
The look on his face when I told him to get off made me feel fucking guilty for pushing him away. But the longer I stared into his honey eyes, the more my heart constricted and the thought that I shouldn’t be here intensified.
Fortunately, he’s bewitched and a simple kiss was enough to make him smile.
I want to be with him, in his arms, wrapped up in every parcel of his being, but at the same time I just wish he would forget me before things go too far.
The more I allow him to hold me, to pierce through my barriers, the more scared I am that he’ll realize how fucked up I really am. It doesn’t matter that he promised to stay after my confession because people never stay when it gets hard. Why would he be an exception?
He hasn’t left yet because he doesn’t know the whole truth. Were he to find out, he’d stop looking at me like I’m precious.
But I want to believe in the possibility of becoming truly happy this time.
Kicking the blanket, I get up from the bed and slip into my underwear. The first thing I’ll do when I’m back at my hotel room is shower and get changed.
I have to tell the girls that I’m officially in a relationship with Andrew.
Fuck, am I really allowed to be so damn happy? I just want to bust the door down, curl up into his arms and kiss him all over.
Recollecting myself in front of the floor to ceiling windows and gazing at the city below, I sigh and trail my fingers over my scar.
It’s okay. It’ll be fine as long as I don’t let my fucked up brain take control over my life.
He loves me. Truly loves me. He won’t leave me, won’t hurt me because he cherishes me.
Keep telling yourself that and you might eventually believe it, the voice in my head echoes. You know it. He’ll wreck you and you’ll be the death of him.
“I’m willing to take that risk,” I mutter under my breath and exhale loudly. “Let’s get back to my boyfriend.”