Chapter 13
Inever got used to seeing Nina in an environment like this. To watch the intelligent, genuine woman I knew slip behind the selfish, vapid mask she wore, it was armor, I knew that. It kept her safe because so few in this world would appreciate who she really was.
And I didn’t really think anyone saw the whole picture of who she was. Not like I did.
So watching her, once again, feel the need to put on that armor made my heart burn with remorse for her. It was evident in every fake laugh, every hollow word, how much she hated this. I wanted her to feel me here with her, in the trenches beside her. Or, as it were, behind her, most of the night.
I wanted her to know every second that I had her back, that I saw her, even if no one else did.
I had hoped when she’d walked out onto the balcony that I could steal a moment alone with her, to stand by her side and let her draw from my strength just for a few minutes. And I would get the chance to bask in who she really was without any of the pretense.
But the moment I spied Douglas Whitman, I knew that would be impossible.
When she’d stopped on her way to him, every sense came alive as I searched for a reason for her hesitancy. There was nothing I could see, except the way the man’s eyes roamed down her beautiful body.
That made my hands tighten a bit, my body start to heat.
I knew what she’d have to do, that she’d flirt and make him interested so he’d allow us to stay in this group. I’d seen her flirt and date many times before. It had never really been easy, but I dealt with it.
And I thought I could do it this time too.
Oh, how fucking foolish I was.
The moment she slipped that cigar into her mouth my body went rigid, imagining something very different between those lush pillows. One look at Whitman’s face and I could see he was thinking the same thing. I grit my teeth, body primed to dive in the moment he laid a finger on her.
But he didn’t touch her, just lit her cigar and kept staring at Nina like she was the most intriguing woman he’d ever seen.
Which, she was, of course she was. But she wasn’t his to look at.
She’s mine.
The moment that thought occurred, I tried to push it back and calm the hell down. I couldn’t protect her if I was a primal animal.
But the problem was that thought wasn’t mine alone. It also belonged to the beast I kept caged. Seeing this other, lesser male pique Nina’s interest, seeing him so close, his gaze full of lust, it had all awakened my berserker, and he was pissed.
Whitman said something and Nina laughed, the sound shot straight to my chest and I had to look down to see if I was wounded.
It wasn’t the laugh she gave to the people inside. This was her genuine laugh, the one that I had always been able to draw out, the one I cherished.
And she gave it to him.
The beast in me growled low and furiously, straining at the bars of the cage, bending them. I could count on one hand the number of times I had started to lose control so fast, and absolutely none of them were this raw, this painful.
I should’ve excused myself, splashed some water on my face and gotten some distance. Asked Trey to keep an eye on her. But I was rooted to the spot, staring in horror at the way this…this…this unworthy male was pulling Nina out from behind her armor, enjoying the beautiful woman that Nina really was.
That had always been my special prize, for my eyes, my ears. This was not supposed to be for just anyone. And definitely not another male.
Her posture was becoming more relaxed. Her voice wasn’t that insipid tone that grated on my nerves.
He doesn’t deserve it, he doesn’t care about it. Doesn’t know how rare and precious it is…what is she doing?
Hurt and anger pierced through my every defense and my muscles tightened as I tried to hold myself back from dragging her away from him.
I was fuming inside, my breath coming faster, the bars of my beast’s cage now bent all to hell and the only thing that was keeping my berserker back was knowing that if I went off here, I could seriously hurt Nina and destroy her chances of being healed from the Morrigan. But that was a very, very thin leash to be sure.
“So what was something that struck you on your travels?” he asked.
“Well, I suppose that it was fascinating to see people as they really were, no pretense, nothing to hide behind. They were stripped down to essentials and you could see the real person.”
Her voice took on a softness, as if she were remembering something. Was it something she’d seen at the lab? A memory resurfacing?
I braced to rush in and rescue her if she was about to have a panic attack when he reached out and ran his fingers down her arm.
No…no she’s mine.
I couldn’t hold back the growl this time, but it was low enough that neither heard. My hands were curled so tightly that my palms ached. I wanted to remove Whitman’s fingers one by one for touching what was mine.
“Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano’s edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man.”
Nina tilted her head to the side with one of her genuine, intrigued smiles.
“Xiang Yu,” she said with a chuckle.
Whitman’s eyebrows winged up in obvious surprise.
“You know him?”
“Well, just that one quote, from a Firefly episode where he was quoted. But yes, I do. It’s an…interesting theory.”
“One you experienced, I think. You said you saw who people really were. I too have an…affection for this. To see the true man or woman, strip them down and know what is really lurking underneath all the veneer.”
“I suppose,” Nina said slowly, “that it’s quite hard to find that here, when we’re surrounded by such wealth and comfort.”
Whitman gave her crooked smile as if he had a secret and alarms bells off in my head. He puffed on his cigar, thinking about his next words.
It was the first time since she took the cigar between her lips that Nina seemed to feel caution around the man.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he finally answered. “I think there are means to strip away the outer shell and get to the meat of things. Even with this group.”
Nina studied him and I wanted to tear her away from him.
“That’s…chilling, if you don’t mind my saying.”
“I don’t, but you also look chilly,” he said, taking his jacket off and placing it around her shoulders.
Now she’d smell like him…she should have my jacket. Fuck! I need to get her away from him…get me away from him.
“Thank you.” She gave him a timid smile.
“What makes you uncomfortable about Xiang Yu’s theory?”
“Nothing. Except that people seem to interpret it as a justification for inflicting pain if it’s done for science.”
“What if it is?”
“You realize who you sound like?”
He waved a hand at her with a deep frown.
“No, my dear, do not go to the lowest common denominator. You are far more intelligent than that. The Nazis were ham fisted cunts, and that is the truth. There is a…delicacy in finding the true man or woman. It doesn’t require a blunt instrument but something more delicate and personal. The art is finding it because it’s different for everyone. It takes time, care. One might say you have to fall a little in love with the person to find it.”
He was standing too close now, looking at her like she was the most beautiful prey he’d ever seen. It was enough; I couldn’t, wouldn’t hold back any longer.
“Nina, it’s chilly and you’re just getting over a cold, come inside,” I said, my voice was rough, harsh.
Neither of them looked at me, Nina’s gaze locked on his.
“Nina,” I insisted.
Whitman’s eyes flicked up to me and back down to her.
“I think she’s fine where she is,” he said.
“And I think you should—”
“Darius,” Nina turned, a tight smile on her face, “go inside, get a drink, relax. I’m just making a new friend.”
“I don’t think—”
She rolled her eyes.
“Nothing is going to happen to me out here. Go.”
Whitman’s lips quirked up into a condescending smile and he nodded.
“Yes, Darius, go.”
I took a step toward him, unable to keep the murder off my face any longer. Nina darted forward and put a hand on my chest.
“We’ve talked about the jealous boyfriend thing. I need my space when we go out, you agreed. Now go and leave me alone for five fucking minutes.”
It was an act. I knew it was an act. There was no other explanation my mind would accept.
But that doesn’t mean it didn’t cut me to the bone to hear her say those words. Even more to watch her turn around go back to that man.
I willed her to turn back to me, to give me one of her real smiles, or something. But I was ignored, superfluous as she stood close to him, covered in his coat, smoking the cigar he’d given her.
I turned with leaden feet to the balcony door, and then the beast in me rushed forward, tugging on his leash.
We can’t leave her! She’s in danger! Ours!
She’s…she’s…not mine.
And it hit me with the force of a cinder block. All this time, I’d assumed that none of the shallow pretty boys in her circle would ever tempt her, that I’d never have to witness her being wooed by anyone since there had never been anyone serious before, and the chances of it happening were slim.
I hadn’t counted on someone older, someone who matched intelligence with her, who captivated her.
I hate him…I’ll…I’ll rip his fucking head off…
I ran a hand through my glamoured hair and found Trey standing next to Wanda by the piano.
“Keep an eye on her,” I gestured to the balcony. “I need…I need a fucking break.”
“Sure.” Trey’s eyes raised. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
Thankfully Trey didn’t push it or I would’ve pointed out how damn touchy he was around Angelica. I was spoiling for a fight and it wouldn’t take much.
The sea of guests parted for me as I barreled through to the bathroom like a bull. I didn’t especially care what I looked like or who I scared, I just needed space to calm down. This was exactly what I’d been afraid of when Nina had been pushing me before.
I locked the door of the bathroom and ran the cold water, splashing a liberal amount onto my face. I closed my eyes and focused on the chill of the water as it ran over my fingers, the sound of it running into the sink. Then I forced myself to pay attention to ever little action I made.
Turning it off.
Moving toward and seizing the soft towel.
Running it over my face.
And through it all I breathed.
By the time I’d calmed myself down enough that I could put my berserker back in his place, Nina had just stepped back inside. I spied Whitman behind her, taking the jacket from her shoulders. She looked up at him with another of her smiles and he gave her one back. They looked…
They look like a couple.
I ground my molars together and moved toward her. But before I could get there, someone bumped into me from behind. I turned, and the drunken man spilled more wine on my pants as he apologized.
Through the reek of the wine and the man’s cologne, another scent hit my nostrils, something wrong and familiar.
I turned back toward Nina only to catch the end of someone also bumping into her. The hem of her dress was wet and there was a male bending down to pick up a broken glass.
The scent was coming from him.
When he glanced up at me, I saw a brief glint of red in his gaze. His true nature seeping through a shoddy glamour.
Alarm bells began to go off in my head and all I could think of was getting to Nina. If this male had a sharp piece of glass he could hurt her or worse, kill her.
Guests gave me dirty looks and complained as I pushed them out of the way. In the minute it took me to get to her, the male had turned and began to lose himself in what had turned out to be a much larger party than I’d been prepared for. But his scent lingered and I started to follow it when Whitman’s voice stopped me cold.
“Well, that was bracing,” he said. “Now, how about that drink? My hotel room isn’t far from here.”
“No,” I whirled around and put myself between him and Nina.
Nina gave a nervous chuckle and put a hand on my chest.
“Well, I suppose that is a bridge too far, isn’t it, sweetie?” She turned to Whitman with a softer look and purred, “Some other time?”
I bristled at her words but didn’t budge.
“Of course, my darling, and,” he leaned in, “I’m very happy to have you on the team. Perhaps afterwards we can have a celebratory drink. Just the two of us?”
“We’ll have to see.”
Whitman took her hand and kissed the top, then turned it around and placed a kiss to her palm, then her wrist.
I envisioned myself tearing his head off, scoring my tusks on the places his lips had been and replacing his mark with mine. When he finally let her go, Whitman didn’t even spare me a glance as he went to Wanda across the room. Nina watched him go, fascination lighting up her eyes.
When the damn man was finally out of the penthouse, I took Nina’s arm and began to pull her toward the bedroom where the portal had opened.
“Let’s go.”
She pulled her arm free.
“What is wrong with you?” she hissed. “You can’t just manhandle me here.”
“There is someone else here, someone not safe. So if you don’t want me tossing you over my shoulder and carrying you to the damn portal, you’ll walk to it right the fuck now.”
She shot daggers at me, and the flush that I was inspiring was passion of a different sort.
Oddly enough, I didn’t really care.
“Fine,” she said through her teeth.
I caught Wanda’s eye and she nodded. Trey followed us into the bedroom and he opened the portal for us.
“Wanda needs to close down the party,” he said. “She’ll be back later, and April is going to stay for a bit too.”
I nodded, not sparing more than a passing thought as I all but pushed Nina through and followed close behind her. Trey was the last one through and the portal shut behind him. Angelica was sitting on the couch and jumped up when she saw us.
“How did it go?”
“We’re in,” Nina said, her voice hard. “And I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
Without even looking at me, Nina swept from the room. All I could think about, as I watched her climb the stairs, was every spot where Whitman’s coat or hands had been, and how much I wanted to bite and lick them so that she smelled like me instead of him.
“You look tired too,” Angelica said.
I turned back to her and Trey was in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine.
“You want one?” he asked me.
“No,” I rubbed the scar on the back of my neck, which was throbbing horribly. “We should probably debrief.”
“Tomorrow,” Angelica said. “Go to bed, get some sleep.”
I nodded, but no matter how tired I might be, I was far too fired up to sleep.
I should go down to the gym, get a run in, maybe lift.
Yeah, that would be good.
But instead of working off this tempest of emotion, I marched straight to our room and didn’t even bother knocking before I burst in.
Nina came barreling out of the bathroom, now in another pair of those damn sleep shorts and a t-shirt. She threw her dress on the bed, a stain on the hem from that suspicious person. There was a fire storm in those gorgeous green eyes, fury like I’d never seen from her before, as she glared at me.
“Oh, so now you want to spend time with me?” she challenged. “All it took was someone else wanting to get in my pants?”
The growl I’d been wanting to expel all damn night came roaring to the surface. With two questions, Nina had blown the cage wide open. Now the beast in me was right at the border of my skin as I stalked into the room and slammed the door closed with my foot.