19. Jaxcen
Chapter nineteen
Jaxcen
M y entire body stiffens at the sight of Eddie’s name on my phone screen. He’s calling me. This very second, he’s calling me, and all I can think is aside from Dr Xavier, Eddie is the last person I want to speak to.
Darting my hand out, I go to hit decline, but Devon’s hand wraps around my wrist, stilling it, his eyes hard as he pins me with them, and then he hits accept, and puts it on speaker.
My breath seizes in my lungs.
Why did he do that?
“Jaxcen!” The boom of Eddie’s voice isn’t concerned in the slightest that I might have been hurt or in danger, and the voice I once adored sounds like that of an enemy.
My shocked gaze darts to Devon, watching as his lips part to speak.
I have no idea what he’s going to say to Eddie, but I don’t want him to say he’s kidnapped me, even though that’s exactly what he did.
“What?” I snap before Devon speaks, and his brows shoot up at my voice.
“What? What!” Eddie scoffs. “Where the hell have you been? What’s going on?”
Oh, you know, I went to a sex club and then felt guilty about it, so I went to see Father Peters and confessed my sins until some random men started shooting up the church, and this dark knight came out of nowhere, shielded me, kissed me, and then killed the men before kidnapping me and fucking me senseless .
I smirk at myself, knowing I’m not going to say that, but gosh, it would feel good rubbing that in his face.
“I’ve gone on a little vacation,” I say instead, hearing Eddie scoff in shock through the phone, while a slow sinister smirk pulls Devon’s lips wide.
I stare at them, remembering how soft they can be, but also how utterly wicked that mouth can be at times. I want to kiss those lips again. And again. And again.
“Vacation? What are you talking about?” Eddie snarls. “You can’t just take a holiday at the drop of a hat, ditch out on work without approval and not tell anyone.”
“My job doesn’t matter.” I shrug, even though he can’t see me. “I’m going to quit anyway.”
“The fuck you are.”
“Why not?” I snap, annoyed that he thinks he has the right to tell me what to do. I suppose I’ve let him do it for so long that is exactly what he thinks. “I’m thinking about getting another job.”
“Where.” He scoffs. “You have no skills, Jaxcen. You studied Business Administration and haven’t even moved out of the mailroom.”
Heat flushes my cheeks and I grit my teeth.
“I haven’t worked in the mailroom for over a year. And I have plenty of skills,” I snap, opening and closing my mouth as I try to think of my skills, but damn him. He’s right.
I’m just where he wanted me, telling me just to do a job that won’t stress me out so I can focus on my faith and preparation of becoming his wife.
I want to hurl at that thought.
Why am I so easily influenced?
Because you never thought anyone would love you.
“I’m pretty good at blow jobs,” I blurt, shocking myself, before I slap my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide in disbelief as Devon smirks and nods, like the cat who got the damn cream.
“What the hell did you say?” Eddie yells, the speaker on my phone crackling .
Oh well. I’ve gone and done it now. I may as well throw myself right over the edge.
“This one guy really likes making me gag, Eddie. You should see his face when he watches his cock slip past my lips—”
“Shut the fuck up you filthy whore!” Eddie’s crazed yell is loud, but not as loud as Devon’s.
“You shut the fuck up! You will never speak to Jaxcen like that again! Do you fucking understand?!”
“Oh my god,” Eddie gasps. “Are you working in a whorehouse, Jaxcen? Is this one of your clients?”
“No.” I beat Devon before he can respond, shooting him a glare, because even though I like him defending me, this is my fight. “He’s not my client, but I do serve him. I give him whatever he wants whenever he wants and however he wants it. Even now, his cum is leaking out of me.”
The phone goes dead.
My lungs stop working.
The room falls silent.
What have I done?
I stare at my phone, the black screen now all that remains, and my heart sinks.
Eddie will call my dad.
My dad will call Dr Xavier.
And Dr Xavier will take me away and…
“Jax.” Devon’s large hands envelop each side of my face, lifting my head so I have no choice but to look at him.
“He’s going to come here.”
“Who is? Eddie?” Devon asks, his deep chocolate eyes staring into mine like he wants to see my soul.
And maybe I want him to see it.
“No. Dr Xavier. He’ll come for me now. He’ll take me…”
“No, he fucking won’t,” Devon hisses, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’ve already told you, if he comes here, he’ll get shot. Besides, Eddie doesn’t know where you are. Dom already checked your phone for trackers, and you haven’t shared your location with anyone, so your fiancé has no idea where to find you. ”
“Ex fiancé,” I whisper, and a smile spreads across Devon’s face.
“Well, yeah. I’m pretty sure the wedding is called off now.”
I grin too. “What a shame.”
Devon isn’t usually like this. Soft. Caring.
It’s far from the cocky guy that insisted I kiss him before he was about to die, as well as the man that held a gun to his guard’s head at the gate after I tried to flirt my way out of this place.
Devon Marx may be a monster, but he’s not the same kind of monster that Dr Xavier is.
Feeling more exposed than I did when Devon had me practically naked, my ankle bound to the confessional and his eyes staring at my most intimate place between my legs, uncertainty creeps its way in.
Devon doesn’t know exactly what happened in my past, but I’m sure he got a good idea after listening to those voice messages, and after Eddie called.
Will he think of me the same way my parents did when I was a child? Will he decide I’m not worth protecting?
“Where are you going?” Devon’s question confuses me, because I’m still perched on his desk, his large hands cupping my face as he stares into my eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I point out and he shakes his head a fraction.
“In your head. Where are you going?” His thumb strokes my cheek as his gaze studies me. “I feel like you slipped away there for a moment.”
Shit.
I did, didn’t I?
“Dr Xavier is a shrink,” I admit, but Devon doesn’t say anything, continuing to study my eyes like they will reveal everything. “You’ve already seen how unhinged I can get. Maybe it’s best if you dump me on the side of the road somewhere and forget about me.”
A savage frown draws in his dark brows, and he flinches back, like I tried to slap him .
“The fuck are you talking about, woman. All I’ve seen is someone desperate to escape, feeling trapped and in danger. That’s not unhinged. That’s basic human instinct.”
“The knife wasn’t normal, Devon,” I point out.
“The knife was the most normal thing you’ve done,” he snaps, releasing his hold of my face and stepping back.
I suddenly feel so alone.
Too alone.
“I don’t know your story, little mouse, but I can tell you right fucking now, you’re not crazy.” He points to the wall, but as he speaks, I know he’s pointing to a place far from here. “Those fuckers that make you feel bad for having desires are the crazy ones. They’ve been gaslighting you. Fucking with your head, and because you only want to please them, you believe their fucking lies so easily.”
He spins, as if too angry to show me his face before his fist slams into the wall next to the small window.
A squeal of alarm escapes me, and he spins back, showing me that monster I’ve met a few times now.
“I refuse to let them bring you down any longer, Jaxcen. And I’m fucking sorry for contributing to that. Making you think I was going to kill you. That was fucked, and as fucked up as I am, I’ll own that shit.”
My lashes flutter with emotions I’m not used to feeling. No one has ever apologised to me before. Not like this.
I’m not used to it and I don’t know what to do with it, so I brush it off.
“It’s fine. Really. You were—”
“No, it’s not fucking fine! Stop letting people get away with it.”
He storms back to me.
“Slap me again!” he yells, his deep boom loud, sending a ripple of desire up my spine.
“What?” I mutter, dazed, too transfixed on the hard set of his jaw, and the fury contorting his expression.
What a beautiful monster .
“You heard me! Slap me again! Make me pay for the lie!” His hand whips out to wrap around my throat, much like it did earlier, and I swear heat pools between my legs once again.
There’s just something about the way he manhandles me that makes me feel so free, rather than controlled or trapped. Which makes no sense at all, but maybe it’s because I like it so much. I want it.
“No!” I curl my lip, pressing my nose to his, my usually quiet voice, loud.
“Yes!” he booms, releasing my neck to slam his hands on the desk either side of my legs.
“No!” I boom back, quickly wrapping my legs around his hips and pinning him between my thighs.
I can feel him. Hard. Long. Ready.
Devon growls, so I growl back, baring my teeth, and feeling every bit the unhinged person I was speaking of only minutes ago.
Hooking his arm behind my back, Devon easily lifts me, forcing me down on his desk as the last of the files and a cup holding pens crashes to the floor.
“Fucking slap me, Jaxcen!”
A bang sounds somewhere behind me, and I realise it’s the door flying open before another voice joins our little party.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“Fuck off, Finn,” Devon hisses, his eyes staying locked on mine as he hovers over me, the hard length of his cock, although covered by his jeans, pressing deliciously between my legs.
“Nope. Not when you two are gonna trash this whole fucking office,” Finn snaps, his voice closer now, and I force my gaze from Devon’s to see him looming on the other side of the desk, glaring at his boss.
“I will smash this whole fucking place up until Jaxcen does as I ask,” Devon sneers.
“No.” I drag my gaze back to my monster. “Stop it, Devon. ”
“I’m almost certain I’m gonna regret asking this.” Finn’s voice is strained, “but what the fuck is it that you’re asking her to do?”
Devon growls in that animalistic way he does. “I want her to slap me. Really fucking hard.”
I slam my lips together as a moan threatens to expose just how turned on I am right now.
“Dude, why do you want her to slap you?”
“For the lie.” Devon snarls, “For making her think she was going to die. Making her think I was taking her because she saw too much.”
Finn chuckles. “Fuck man, if you want to be roughed up, I’ll do it for you.”
“No,” Devon barks. “She needs to take back her control.”
“Have you ever thought that perhaps I don’t want control?”
The words are a shock as I say them, yet I know there’s some truth to them.
I’m not sure if it’s a result of my past, but it suddenly dawns on me why I was so devoted to Eddie, when I realise now I didn’t really love him. Why I never tried to get a better job, instead being content with one with little responsibility. Why I let my parents make all the decisions for me.
I didn’t want to control things.
I didn’t want to be responsible.
And now, I know why.
Because when I tried to do that, I was made to feel worthless.
Devon’s expression is hard, yet confusion plays around the edges of his eyes.
“Is this some sort of fucked up therapy session?” Finn asks, reminding me that we’re not alone.
I shake my head. “No. I’ve been to those before. This isn’t the same.”
Finn’s head comes into view as he leans over to look at me upside down. “Give me the word, Miss Summers, and I’ll remove my mate from the room.”
Devon doesn’t even get pissed about Finn’s words, and when I take him in again, I can see he’d let his friend do that.
For me .
Reaching up, I fist Devon’s dark hair, my fingers gripping the short strands at the roots, and tug him so we are nose to nose again. “I don’t want to slap you, but I do want you to fuck me again, and make me forget everything those people have ever done to me.”
Finn curses and Devon growls before his lips slam into mine.
“Wait until I get out of the fucking room!” Finn yells, but Devon is already reaching between us to free his dick, and because I’m still pantiless, he shoves that stiff appendage into me, hard.
I cry out, even as the door closes, and I realise, Finn could have been still standing there watching, and I really wouldn’t have cared.
Once again on his desk, Devon makes me forget all my fears.
This time when Devon fucks me, it’s not the same as before. Even though he consumed both holes down there before, this time, his entire being consumes me. It wraps around me like a security blanket filled with ecstasy.
Is that even a thing?
It should be.
Because this is something else.
I come twice while Devon pounds into me, giving me everything I asked for and more. His deep voice rasps against my ear, telling me how good my cunt is, and his lips nibble at my neck and ear and lips, like he can’t get enough of tasting me.
Afterwards, I’m totally spent. For a moment I fear my limbs have dropped off because I can’t feel them, but the moment he scoops me up in his arms, and lays me on the sofa in his office, the feeling returns to my arms and legs.
“You’re going to fall asleep on me again, aren’t you.” He grins, rebuttoning my dress before tending to the mess between my legs, where he shoves his leaking cum back inside like he has so many times.
“We need to talk about your obsession with knocking me up,” I mutter lazily, and he chuckles.
“There’s nothing to talk about, little mouse.”
“If it was a ploy to stop my wedding, then you can stop now,” I mutter lazily. “There’s not going to be a wedding between me and Eddie.” I blink up at him, and he reaches out, stroking some of my hair off my forehead.
“It’s not a ploy to sabotage your wedding. I just want to see your round belly and know that you’re carrying my kid.”
I frown. “You make no sense. We still don’t even know each other.”
“On the contrary. I think I know you better than anyone else does.”
I’d blush if I had the energy, but since all my blood is most likely still near my coochie, there’s no rush of heat to my face.
He has a point, though. He does know me better than anyone else.
“Your reasoning has holes in it,” I counter and he smirks down at me, those dark eyes appearing more tender than I’ve ever seen them.
“It’s straightforward to me.”
I roll my eyes. “I think you’re the only one that sees it like that.”
Leaning down, he hovers his lips over mine. “My opinion is the only one that matters to you, little mouse.” Then he presses his soft lips to mine.
It’s another one of his gentle kisses that fills my chest with warmth I’ve never felt until he slammed into my life.
Is it weird that he makes me feel worshipped from both his gentle kisses, and the devouring ones?
For a little while, we chat about mundane things like TV shows, the best season of the year, and whether or not pineapple should be on pizza.
I’m a pineapple pizza girlie all the way.
At some point, I doze off, and when I wake a little later, I’m alone in his office.
My body aches everywhere, in the best way, and as I sit up, I can’t wipe the smile off my face.
This whole scenario is weird, yet I feel so good. I feel like a veil has been lifted and for the first time, I’m truly experiencing who Jaxcen Summers is.
It’s a strange thought, given it revolves around sex, but I feel like it’s more than that. It’s like Devon has given me permission and a safe space to find myself, and I desperately don’t want to leave it.
I don’t want to go back to the person I was a couple of days ago. She’s no longer inside me.
I take a moment searching around Devon’s desk and on the floor for my panties and come up empty.
I bet he’s pocketed them again.
Cheeky bugger.
Spotting another note in what I’m becoming familiar with as Devon’s handwriting, I read it eagerly.
Meeting with my men. Be back soon. x Dev
There’s that damn kiss again.
My heart flips like I’ve just received my first love letter. And hell, maybe the one from earlier and this one are the closest I’ll ever get.
Eddie sure as shit never gave me one.
Sure he wrote to me when I was in the facility, but they weren’t love letters.
He sent me scriptures and things to pray for.
Ugh, why couldn’t I see what he was doing?
Just by the note on the desk is my phone, and I glance up at the door, wondering if I take it, will I get into trouble.
Jesus, Jaxcen. Are you going to keep letting people dictate your life, or are you going to own it ?
My brows shoot up at my inner thoughts and I grin, deciding that it’s my phone, so I’ll be the one to be in possession of it.
Going into my contacts, I bring up Presley’s number and hit call, anxiously waiting for it to connect, and when it does, my heart does another flip.
“Jax, is that you?”
“Hey, Pres. Sorry about all the fuss. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says a little stiffly, and I frown.
Damn, is she angry at me?
“Look, I’m sorry. I’ll explain later but I’m okay. Truly,” I admit, and she falls quiet for a moment before I hear her wary voice.
“I’m not sure you are.” Her tone is hushed. Unsure. So unlike my confident big sister.
“I already told you I am,” I mutter, annoyed.
Pres is the only one that has ever fought for me. Not that she had much luck against my parents, but she’s always tried and she never judged me. Not ever.
“Where are you Jax? Tell me where you are and I’ll come and get you.”
I frown. “No, you can’t.”
“Why?” she asks, her tone sounding way off my normally supportive sister.
Hell, she even left me a message and told me to hide, and what? Now she wants me to come out and potentially get caught.
“I’m doing what you said, Pres. I’m hiding,” I explain before a scuffle crackles through the speaker sounding like she dropped it. But then, I hear her yell in the background.
“Don’t do what they want, Jax. Stay there!”
What the…
“Jaxcen. This is Dr Xavier. You need to come to me, please.”
All the breath whooshes from my lungs at hearing that voice again. His voice.
No .
“You’re sick, Jaxcen. You need help. Come to me and I’ll help you.”
“No,” I whisper, feeling like a child again. A teenager with no options.
Dr Xavier sighs. “Jaxcen, I’m not only worried about you, but your sister too. I think Presley could use some treatment too. Don’t you think?”
My hand trembles as I squeeze the phone, tears welling in my eyes as panic sets in.
No. No. No.
Not again.
I can’t go back.
“Leave her alone,” I snap, but he chuckles.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that unless you come in. If you want to help your sister then you know what you have to do.”
Tears spill over as I shake my head. “Please don’t do this. Not now. It’s almost Christmas and I want to spend it with my family.”
“Christmas is three days away. If you behave and do everything you’re supposed to, I might be able to grant you leave on Christmas day.”
“Don’t do it, Jaxcen!” Presley yells in the background before she cries out like she’s in pain.
“Stop! Don’t hurt her!” I plead.
“She’ll be fine as long as you do the right thing, Jaxcen. Come to your sister’s apartment. You have an hour.”
“Wait. I can’t get there in an hour. I’m too far away.”
“You have two hours then, and not a second more.” The line goes dead and a sob leaps from my lips.
I have to go. I have to save my sister.