Chapter 5
Jordan
Coward. Coward, coward, coward.
The word repeats in my head with every step I take towards the pool. A pool that seems way too far from my hotel room. How far away is this thing anyway?
I glance over my shoulder, eyes searching the mostly empty corridor for any sign of a familiar head of wavy brown hair.
When the coast is clear, I speed up my steps to round a corner, not wanting to get caught before I’m surrounded by others.
Finally, in the distance, beyond doors and windows, I can see the pool area ahead.
It’s a beacon of hope, and my steps quicken again.
It’s not easy to speed walk this morning.
In fact, it hurts like hell. Every part of my body aches after being well used last night.
That in combination with parts of my body hitting surfaces all over Liam’s hotel room.
When I looked at my thighs this morning, there was a line of bruises along them from the desk.
Or the bathroom counter. Oh hell, it could have been the couch.
The marks didn’t end there. I found little purple imprints in the pattern of fingertips along my hips where Liam held on more than once.
Ironically, I think the only place I don’t have a mark is the one place he wanted to leave one. My neck.
Not that I’m complaining about any of them. Good god, I’m not. Last night was…
Stop, I chastise myself before finishing the thought. Last night was nothing but a memory. Nothing that is going to be repeated or talked about.
I wish my body got the same hint. Thoughts of Liam have my stomach fluttering with hope of reprising the entire evening. If I’m not careful, my bathing suit bottoms are going to be drenched just thinking about it. Which I keep doing, even though I’m desperate not to.
The flashbacks come in waves. Him on top of me, him behind me, his fingers inside of me, his cock punishing me. Good god, his cock. That glorious piece of him. Not huge. Not small. Absolutely perfect.
I whimper. Perfect. The word is never going to have the same meaning. The man worshipped my body for hours. I don’t know if I can even count the amount of times he made me orgasm. Practice makes perfect, he kept telling me.
I’ve never felt so completely perfect.
Groaning as I use my keycard to open the door to the pool area, I don’t know whether I love, or hate, that I feel perfect. Both. It’s definitely both.
The easy part is loving it. Liam worked me better than any other man.
His experience shows in the bedroom, and I’m not upset about it.
He’s sexy, and arrogant, and full of masculinity.
Ordering me around and showing me everything he’s capable of.
Well, maybe not everything. I had this feeling as the night went on that he was holding pieces of himself back, and even though I pushed, he refused to show them to me.
I know for a fact I could get him to crack, though. Given time.
Which is exactly what we don’t have. If the matter of him fucking a girl more than once wasn’t an issue, the more obvious, pressing problem would be in the form of another brown haired man turning to greet me as his bride-to-be waves from a lounger.
Nate.
They’re exactly where they said they’d be in Savanna’s text to me. Just seeing them, watching Nate’s face light up with a smile, makes me feel sick to my stomach. The betrayal I committed last night sits like a large, disgusting lump of hot burning coal in the pit of my belly.
This. This is exactly why I hate feeling perfect this morning. Because I’m not. I’m anything but perfect. I have no idea how I’m going to reconcile being around my brother for the next few days—or the rest of my life—knowing what I did last night.
It’s a thought that had my eyes popping open at six this morning.
Liam’s arm was around me, both of us having fallen asleep after our last round, spent and exhausted.
It was as if someone flipped on the light switch in my brain, and the consequences of my actions lit up and showed me exactly what I had done.
It took two minutes to quietly slip from Liam’s bed, put on my dress, grab my shoes and purse, and hightail it out of there without a word. Thank heavens Liam was dead to the world. Honestly, I hope he still is. If I don’t see him today I’ll be grateful.
Doubtful, but I can hope.
“Hey,” Nate greets as I reach the lounger he’s sitting on. The same one Savanna is laying on.
“Morning!” I say quickly, full of cheer that I don’t feel.
I need to relax. If I don’t, he’s going to know something is up.
Moving to the far side, where Nate isn’t, I take the lounger on the other side of Savanna.
Like my hair, her blonde strands are pulled up into a ponytail, out of her face and off her neck so she can let the last bits of summer sun turn her already golden skin more tanned.
The girl loves the beach more than anyone I’ve ever known, which says a lot since I grew up in Santa Rosé, a beach town on the coast of California.
Being south of San José, it can get pretty hot, and the beach is one of the prime places to cool off during the summer.
Much like this outdoor Vegas pool area. Palm trees line multiple pools, some with cascading waterfalls, one with a swim up bar, and a lazy river that floats relaxing swimmers around it in tropical donuts made for the water.
“Where did you go last night?”
Of course it’s the first question out of Savanna’s mouth.
I’m glad my back is to the two of them as I sit down and rummage through the bag I brought.
My sunglasses are right on top, but I make work like I can’t find them to buy myself a few moments to settle down.
Finally I pull them out, put them on, and then look over my shoulder at the two of them peering at me.
“Oh, you know,” I say, more casually than I feel. I hope. Waving a hand to dismiss the question, I continue, “Had too much to drink so I got some food and went to bed.”
“Liam made sure you got back to your room okay?” Nate asks.
I have to stop myself from whipping around to look at my brother. I know for certain there’s no accusation in his tone, but that doesn’t mean the guilt doesn’t slice through my stomach, into my heart, and up my throat, threatening to confess the entire thing.
How did he know? How could he have guessed? Because we left at the same time and Liam never showed back up? Did he see us? Oh god, did he…
Something nags at the back of my mind, and I reach for it, pulling it to the front. Liam and I on our way out of the club. Running into the back of him because a hulk of a man halted our exit. Brody. Brody looking at Liam, then at me. Words being exchanged between the two men.
Fuck.
“Yep!” I squeak, rummaging through my bag again. Technically I’m not lying. My room is right across the hall from Liam’s. I just didn’t go into my room until early this morning.
I need to change the subject. I’m not equipped to handle questions. How did I think coming down to the pool already was a good idea? Oh right. I didn’t want to risk Liam knocking on my door, wondering where the hell I disappeared to.
Coward.
Dropping my bag beside the lounger, I move further onto the chair, resting against the back of it, trying to look casual even if I don’t feel it. “How was your guys’ night? Did you stay at the club long or were you too eager to act like newlyweds prior to the wedding?”
I glance at the two of them. Savanna has a cute white bikini on that shows off the tan she’s worked at all summer, and my brother is not hiding his appreciation for it.
His hand runs down her leg while he smiles at her like a dope.
He’s so freaking in love it makes me wonder how he ever survived without her.
Nate deserves a good woman that makes him happy, and I know Savanna does that for him.
It helps that she’s a sweetheart that I adore.
We were fast friends when she moved into Nate’s house—where I also happen to live—and our bond has grown immeasurably over the last year.
“We didn’t stay too late,” Savanna says, shooting me a knowing grin.
The one that says Nate couldn’t keep his hands off of her.
“Long enough to have a good time. I think my brothers may have shut the place down, though.” We both laugh before she adds, “If the texts I got are any indication, I don’t know that we’ll see them at the pool today. ”
The pool day that Savanna planned for us was optional.
There was no telling what the night before would hold, which is why, when she was planning the itinerary for our four days before the wedding, she decided today should be casual and easy.
Especially since tonight we’re hitting up the town again, this time as part of the bachelor and bachelorette parties.
By then Quinn, Hailey, Luke, and Maddie, Savanna’s friend from Colorado, would be joining us.
I wonder if Nate got any texts from Liam this morning saying he wouldn’t be at the pool. I wonder if I have. I’ve been too much of a coward to look at my phone.
Like you were a coward when leaving his bed this morning. And rushing down here before he knocked on your door.
“So! Big parties tonight, huh?” I exclaim loudly, trying to drown out the voice in my head. “Excited?”
My heart leaps into my throat and then sinks down to join the lump of coal in my stomach when movement catches my eye over my brother’s shoulder.
Beyond Savanna and Nate, coming across the pool deck, are Liam and Brody, both of them in board shorts and t-shirts.
A shirt that Liam is already taking off.
My mouth goes dry at the sight. Midmorning in the Vegas August heat is already hot, but the temperature just went up a few degrees.
Muscles ripple along his pecs and abdomen as he walks, his arms flexing as he folds his shirt nicely.
Arms that held me close last night. An abdomen that I licked from one side to another. Pecs that I dug my nails into.