Chapter 4
Soul
It is our last night here, and I am shocked I am still here. After my near-death experience, I had to beg my parents to let me stay. They were halfway there when they got the call from Pastor Sullivan. My mother said she needed to come and see me for herself and was utterly shocked that I didn’t want to come home with them. But I was more stunned to see my sister Serenity with them, while our parents were talking with the Sullivans, she pulled me aside.
“Soul, why were you out on the water in the first place when you barely know how to swim?”
“Pastor Sullivan was gone and he left Ebony in charge so she assigned me to the lake activities,” I say. “I think she just wanted to keep Gabe all to herself, she’s made sure to be teamed up or near him all summer,” I say without thinking and immediately slap my hands over my mouth mortified that I said that out loud to anyone let alone my sister.
“Your not secret is safe with me,” she says, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
“Not secret?”
“No boy is writing all of those letters to a girl unless he likes her, Soul, duh,” she says. “Like I said your secret is safe with me just be careful, okay, and if you are planning on doing anything please take precautions, the last thing you want to do is get pregnant and be a teen mom. Trust me they may try to glamorize that shit on TV, but that shit is truly for the birds,” she says, and I stand there my mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water at her words.
“Hmm, that bitch. Please close your mouth and grow up, Soul, there is more to life than Bible study, Sunday School, and choir rehearsal okay? And unlike Mom or your church friends, I am going to tell you the truth. I am not going to sit back and let you walk into a situation unprepared,” she digs in her purse and hands me a strip of condoms. “Hide those okay, but if you and Gabe are determined to do anything please use them, sis. Do not let him talk you into sleeping with him without protection, there are worse things than getting pregnant.” Our conversation is interrupted when our parents walk over to tell me I can stay. While my parents are talking to me, my sister slips off and I am curious as to where she has gone, but I eventually get a glimpse of her behind one of the cabins talking to Ebony who looks equally pissed and scared. Finally, it’s time for my family to leave, and my dad pulls me into a hug before my mom pulls me out of his arms and into hers, holding me so tight I can barely breathe. My sister hugged me last, whispering in my ear, “ You shouldn’t have any more issues from Ebony or her crew, and be careful with Gabriel.” I stood in front of the camp and waved my family goodbye, gaining a new perspective on my sister after that day.
I am not allowed to have a boyfriend until I am sixteen, so keeping my friendship with Gabe a secret was necessary also coming to camp so I can see the boy I have crushed on my whole life would have had my parents finding an alternative camp for me to go to and probably never seeing another letter from him. So we have tried our best not to let anyone else know about our feelings for each other or our relationship. I have of course heard of a few kids hooking up here but unlike them, I am terrified of my parents and of getting caught so caution is of the utmost importance to me. Not only is tonight our last night here, but tomorrow is my birthday so I am it’s a no-brainer that I would want to bring it in with Gabe. I triple-check my appearance in the mirror, I have taken my time preparing for tonight, taking a long shower and shaving my legs, and under my arms. Taking extra care with my hair and pull out the outfit I smuggled here, it’s one of my sister”s old outfits that is too small for her but is entirely too grown for me to be wearing, but I don’t think my normal baggy jeans or ankle length jean skirt is appropriate for tonight. I look in the mirror one last time and am pleased with my appearance, even though I am still as curveless as a board. I grab my backpack and sneak out of the back of my cabin. I stay in the darkness, taking the path I have taken almost every night since I have been here, by now it’s pure muscle memory but just when I would normally cut to the left I walk further until I am at the furthest I have been from camp. My stomach begins to knot with nerves and fear but I see lights flickering cutting dimly through the darkness and there he is waiting for me. The smile cuts across my face without conscious thought as I pick up speed to get to him. It isn’t until I get closer that I notice he has set up a picnic by the lake. He has a blanket with candles all around it, with snacks and drinks, there is another blanket and a couple of pillows. There is a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a heart-shaped box of candies, a card, and a cupcake propped on the pillow.
“You look beautiful, Soul,” he says, hugging me to him, and the knots have turned to heavy boulders in my stomach.
“Thank you. You look so handsome,” I say, looking down at my feet. I cannot make myself look at him, but I should have known better. He cups my face, tilting it up so I am forced to look at him, just as he leans down to give me a soft kiss.
“Come on, let’s eat some of this food.”
“Okay,” I reply, happy for the reprieve. Kicking off my shoes, I gingerly sit down, careful not to flash him as I tuck my legs next to me and pull the dress down over my knees.
“How did you get all of this stuff?” I ask, picking up a grape and popping it in my mouth.
“I have been stockpiling all summer long, buying a little at a time when we go in town for supplies.”
“Oh, that was smart,” I say, trying to figure out why I didn’t think of that.
“You’re nervous.”
“I am, and I am sad. Once tomorrow comes, our parents will be here to pick us up, and I will have to make do with letters and not seeing you every day. I am going to miss you.”
“I am going to miss you, too. Remember, I am in the same boat as you. My girl is hours away from me, and there is nothing I can do about it,”
“Your girl?” I choke out. I know my eyes have to be wide as saucers.
“Of course, my girl. Do you think I tell any girl I love them? I meant what I said, Soul. Did you?”
“You know I meant it!”
“Well then, that makes you my girl, and I am your boyfriend.”
“Gabe,” I whisper but I know he heard it loud and clear.
“Yes, babe.”
“I can’t believe this,”
“Believe it. And since we are together, that means you and I are going to my prom this year, so start planning for it.”
“Prom!” I practically screech.
“Yes, prom,” he says, grinning at me. I sit there soaking in everything that is happening to me in a short time. We talk about prom, and school since it’s his last year, and I still have a year before I graduate. We made a plan on keeping in touch better and he promised me he would get a job and buy a car so he could come see me on the weekends. We are lying on our pillows under the blanket facing each other with a blanket of stars overhead. Suddenly he pops up and turns to grab something. There is flicking, and I sit up to see what he has that is making the noise when he turns around with the cupcake, with a lit candle in it.
“Happy birthday, Soul,” he says, holding out the candle to me. “Make a wish and blow out the candle.”
I close my eyes, make my wish, and blow out the candle.
“I’m sixteen now,” I say excitedly.
“You are,”
We shared the cupcake and lay back down, it was late, and we had a full day of activities, plus we had to pack and clean our cabins, and the kids had to clean their sleeping quarters. I expected to see my name down to help the youngest clean their sleep quarters, but to my surprise, it was assigned to Melinda. I do not know what my sister said to Ebony but whatever it was it was effective. She stayed as far away from me as possible and so did her cronies. My eyelids feel like there are weights on them, I have been fighting to stay awake, but I am losing the battle, and it looks like he is too.
“Aaahhhh!” I scream as I am startled awake by the thunder that just cracked through the silence. “Hush!” I yell at him while he lies there looking at me, laughing.
“I’m sorry, but you woke up scared, fighting and trying to run, aren’t you supposed to have one response to stimuli? You know fight or flight, not fight and flight,”
“Hush, aah!” I scream out again when thunder sounds again. It is so loud it sounds like a collision is taking place in the sky.
“Come here, baby. I’ll protect you,” he says, and I am scrambling in his arms before the last word is out of his mouth. That’s when I knew I messed up. He brushed his lips against mine in a light kiss, before kissing me again. What started as a comforting kiss turned into us spiraling out of control. In just a few seconds, the thunder is forgotten as he kisses me senselessly.
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