Chapter 11 #3
“Then why were you whispering my name in your sleep?”
“I. Was. What?” My words came out bit by bit.
“You heard me the first time, sweetheart.”
“I’m not your sweetheart, and stop being delusional.”
He narrowed his grey-stoned eyes at me. “You’re the delusional one. Trying to convince yourself you're not in love with me. I mean, I get it. Who wouldn’t, kotyonok? I’m flattered, honestly. And well, you know, any time you’re down—”
I raised my hand, cutting him off. “Look, Narcissus, slow down. No one wants anything with you, cretin.”
“Denial.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Am— ugh!” I threw my hands up in frustration, stopping this child’s play as I wiggled my ass out of bed. “This is insane. I don’t have to explain anything to you. I don’t have to prove anything to you. Because I simply want nothing to do with you, so I want you to leave.”
“Sure, that’s what you say, but I don’t think you believe yourself, kotyonok.”
“Excuse me?” My eyes narrowed directly at him.
“You’re such a bad liar. You say one thing, and yet your eyes say another. It’s like you’re begging me practically.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
“I’d rather fuck you if I’m being honest.”
“I’d rather hug a landmine.”
Konstantin clicked his tongue in a methodical manner as he shook his head, barely adjusting the towel on his bulge. “You’re just dying to be on your knees for me, aren’t you, kotyonok?”
“If anyone’s going to be on their knees, it’ll be you when you’re praying for a taste of me. Begging for a taste of my pussy. One you’ll never touch or feel. So take a good look because that’s all you’re ever going to do with my body, sweetheart.” I taunted with a deviant smirk.
Fire sparked in his dark Siberian eyes, and dark-laced passion sworn on his lips. “Shit, you turn me on.”
He took a large step forward, enclosing the gap between us as he hovered over me, his whole body entrapping me. Lifting his hand and slipping his finger underneath my chin as he brought my gaze up to his, he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. Fireworks exploded along my skin.
Lowering his head, a growl resonated in his chest. “I’m going to kiss you.”
“I’ll bite you.” I breathed against his lips.
His lips lifted into a devastating smile, one that made me weak in the knees. “Mmhm, I like that. As long as I get to do whatever with you, you can do whatever with me.”
My eyes widened, shocked by his confession.
I don’t think any man had been so bluntly straightforward and callous. Most of them thought it was too weak to show any emotion on their sleeve.
But, this— he turned me on.
The fact I could possess him— own him— just like he could have me…if I allowed it.
My gaze lowered down and passed his nose down to his lips. Starting— wondering how they would feel, how they would taste, what they would do?
Goodness…
Wait, what was I thinking?
Well, I knew what I was thinking, but no, I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. If the risk of temptation was here, then I should leave… But where the fuck am I going to go in the middle of the night?
The church was already one place of salvation, but it wouldn’t save me from Konstantin disturbing my peace.
He flicked my forehead and backed away, showing his toned ass as he finally wrapped the towel around his hips properly. Walking back to the corner of the room.
“Ouch!” I whined, rubbing the spot between my brows. “What was that for?”
The muscles in his back shifted with the minimum moonlight that peeked inside the room; it displayed not only the array of tattoos but also the scars and burn marks imprinted on his skin. “I’m bored now,” he hissed between his teeth.
My eyes grew large.
It wasn’t practical, but I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Needing to know what happened. Taking a few quick steps, I stood behind him, slowly raising my hand to touch as he spoke up, making me freeze.
“What is it now, kotyonok?”
“What happened to you?” Concerned and cautious, I asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“Your scars. They’re brutal.” I grew horrified, staring at ones that ran up, others horizontally, and some that were more faded than others. “Who did this to you?” Outrage ran up in my voice.
He gazed over his shoulder, focusing not on them but on me. “Life.”
It then occurred to me that besides being a Russian ex-mobster and current convict on the run, I knew nothing about him. Nothing that defined his character, his childhood, or the reason he ended up in prison. But just by those scars, I knew he fought hell to live.
I licked my dry lips as I slightly stumbled on my words. “I— I presume… it wasn’t an… easy life?”
“Far from that,” he monotonously said. “But I won’t change it. Well, perhaps, one thing.”
Inching my brow up, I questioned. “What thing?”
“How we met, kotyonok.” He turned to face me as I attempted to back away as he grabbed my hand, holding me still. An electric current zipped through our touch, and it halted the rhythm of my heart for a moment. “Under different circumstances, I would have wooed you at first sight.”
I snorted, imagining us at some club, meeting at the upscale fancy bar where I’d try my luck seeing what or who I would land on, and after eying me all night long, he would send me a drink.
After that, I’d look his way and wink before proceeding to ignore him with the closest man near me until Kon would finally approach, chasing him off as he would play a cat and mouse game.
“Probably would have gotten rejected.” I said.
“That’s true.”
“Then I’d try again and again.”
“Which would lead only to—”
“Me stalking you.”
Intriguing surprise lined my lips as I did a half-smile. “Stalking? I’d make quite the impression then?”
He slightly angled his head to the side, his eyes irradiating like the diamonds in the ocean. Giving me enough confirmation that there was something lying beneath the surface between us. Something we both ignored so we wouldn’t be consumed by the fire.
Proudly, I raise my chin and bat my lashes. “Now I know I’m on your mind all the time.”
“Now and then,” he confirmed, his voice deeply gravelly.
He interlaced our fingers, holding tightly like he never wanted to let go, and a part of me wanted the same thing.
To stay in this moment forever. “You can touch me, Blair. Anytime you want.” Konstantin smirked as he smoothly took my hand and ran it over one large scar on the blade of his shoulder that narrowly appeared to slash through his heart, well, metaphorically.
The cocooning caterpillars in my stomach burst into butterflies, swarming around and around.
W-well, I thought those were dead and gone.
But I guess I was wrong.
In a moment that blurred the lines of sins and virtue, where I clung to the small restraint left, I asked something else.
“How many are there?” My mind wandered, hating to see so many, yet it was those little battle scars that made him that much more sexy at the same time. Tracing every indent of skin, every mark, memorizing with my touch.
He shrugged, his face indifferent. “Never counted. Too many to count anyways.”
“Always the realist, huh?”
“Mmhm, the sky is blue, apples fall from trees, and you have the prettiest eyes and face that even a bullet to the heart can’t resist.”
A scoff leaves my mid-center as my hand fights to escape his grasp while my body tries to pull away.
He gripped me harder. “Sorry if I offended you, koytonok.”
“It’s not that you offended me; like, I know I’m irresistible, and I can’t blame you for feeling attracted to this beauty.
” The sarcasm, which was true, was still heavy in my voice as I cut the crap.
“But, it just throws me off. I don’t want to fall for one of your games. I can’t afford to change my life.”
His dark ocean eyes softened. “You always have a choice, kotyonok.”
“Still—”
He deeply chuckled, his chest rising up and down. “If you’re questioning your choice, perhaps it’s because it isn’t the right choice.”
“I—” My mouth opened, then closed.
When did he become so logical? I hate that.
Clearing my throat as I try to explain, “I’d never second-guessed anything until—”
He lowered his gaze to my lips and back up to my eyes, my pulse livid beneath the skin of my nape. “Until?” His tongue lingered on the l.
Fuck, I really buried my grave with this one, so now it was my time to lie in it. “You. Alright. You.” I let out an exasperated breath, my nose wrinkling.
“Me? Am I that special then?”
I blew a puff of air, frustrated by his emotional whiplash. “I already answered your question. Answer one of mine. Where did you get these scars?”
He glanced down at himself, raising an impromptu brow, and said, “Which one? Pick?”
“Well, um…” Examining with a close eye each and every scar until my finger landed on the one that caught my eye the most— the largest scar that seemed to cut across his chest. “This one. I want to know why and who gave this one to you.” I looked up at him through my lashes.
A deep grumble stumbled from his chest; his shoulders became tight as he started to heave uncontrollably and heavily. A vulnerable expression robbed his expression of monotony as his gaze became drowned with untold tragedy.
There was something inexplicably wrong with him, and I don’t know if it was Dya or Kon trying to fight it, but it definitely wasn’t a safe space for him to ask. Pushing him too far would have inexplicable consequences, and if he weren’t ready to answer, I wouldn’t push it.
So I rose to my tippy-toes, bringing my face closer to his as the scent of strawberry soap lingered off his musk-scented skin.
I lightly pressed my lips against his, barely considering it a kiss as he blinked, his hands fisted at his side as he raised one, wrapping his fingers in my loose brown locks and fisting it.
Pulling my head back so I’d look up at him.
He breathed heavily against my lips. “What did you do that for?” The gravity in his voice was deeply disturbing.
“You needed help, and I thought… well… I’d help you.”
“What are you doing to me, kotyonok?” He said so vulnerably softly.
Hell, I could ask him the same. The day he came into my life, he turned the world upside down; instead of it being black and white, now I questioned everything in shades of grey or, more specifically, midnight blue.
I can’t believe I allowed myself to get caught up in the moment.
Without a moment’s notice, he reverted to his old— unpredictable— pain-in-the-ass self.
“Do you want me that bad? I’m already naked. Let’s get to it then.”
I gasped.
The man was a social brute.
“Get dressed!” I pushed him with all my strength as he barely moved a quarter of an inch.
He wrapped his hand around my waist, burying his fingers in my skin, and pushed my body to his front. Flustering heat radiated from his skin as it burned me. He leaned his head down, his mouth lingering on my ear as he whispered hotly, “Help me get dressed then.”
My hands clawed against his. “In your dreams.”
His lips split into a devilish smile. “It appears I was already in yours. Do you want to make it a reality?”
This crazy bastard.
How was I supposed to get rid of him now?