Chapter Fourteen #2
“I’m sure. She threatened me after the charity auction.” Kiera doesn’t look surprised. Before either one of us can say anything else, Cam and Lila come in, still bickering.
“You know what? I think you’re just embarrassed that Kiera had you beat and you couldn’t figure it out before now.” Lila sets the laptops down a little harder than necessary.
“Fucking be careful, that shit is expensive.” Cam rounds on Lila, then cuts his gaze to Kiera. “And speaking of that,” he says, now focusing on her, “where did you learn to do that so well?”
“Umm, well, as a kid, I overheard my parents talking about the Cicada program, and my name came up a few times. I decided I was going to learn everything I could.” She swallows, eyes hardening. “I promised my mom I would take him down.” Kiera is smart—and she did it on her own.
Cam has no sense of what might be offensive as he asks, “How do you know Wade killed your mom?”
“Cam!” Lila and I snap at the same time.
“It’s fine,” Kiera says with a small shrug.
“If we’re doing this, you probably need all the information.
The night my mom died, she sang me to sleep with my favorite song.
It was storming badly that night, and the thunder woke me up.
I heard voices downstairs, so I took the servants' passage to the library and watched it all unfold through the peephole.”
Silence settles over the table, no one quite sure what to say. Cam, of course, barrels straight through it. “And how does Asher fit into this?” I’m going to fucking throat-punch him later.
Kiera clears her throat. “That one is harder to talk about, but my dad set up the relationship. And the things that came with it.”
Regret flickers across Cam’s face, and he shuts his mouth for once. He doesn’t need the details to understand it was bad. Karma’s a bitch, fucker. I lean forward, pulling the conversation back on track. “Okay, let's get back to work.”
“I’ve already wiped the traces of it being you,” Cam says, looking at Kiera. “We just need to point it at Asher now.”
I look up from the computer for the first time in hours and notice that it’s dark outside the window. Checking the time, I see that it’s eleven PM. “I think it’s about as good as it’s going to get.”
Kiera stands and stretches, joints softly popping. “Yeah, we should probably get home.”
Before I can stop myself, the words are already out of my mouth. “You can stay here. I have a guest room.”
Lila side-eyes me with a grin. “I’m tired, and that sounds like a great idea. Cam, can you show me the way?” I like this girl.
“Um, sure. This way.” Cam leads Lila toward the guest.
“Well, I guess I don’t get an option.” Kiera laughs softly, “Guess I should head after her.”
I grab her hand as she goes to walk away and tug her toward me. She stumbles, catching herself with her palms flat against my chest. “I’m sorry for Cam’s questions. He isn't a social person and apparently was never taught basic social cues.”
“It’s fine. Really.” Kiera glances down at my lips, then back to my eyes. Suddenly, she pushes away from me. “Sterling, I can’t. We can’t.”
“Why not? You obviously enjoy how I make you feel.” I take another step closer to her.
“Because, Sterling, I’m broken. I don’t know how to love anymore.” The words drop between us, heavy enough to drag the air down with them.
“You’re not the only fucking broken one here, Ki.
You can fight this all you want, but I’m here.
You’re fucking stuck with me.” I sigh, catch her hand, and tug her toward my room.
“Did you ever stop to think the reason we’re so drawn to each other is that we are equally fucked up?
Our souls recognize the same damage in each other and just…
call to their match?” I grab the only photo I have of my mom from the top drawer and press it into her hands.
“This is my mom. She’s the one who fucked me up.
She beat me, tortured me. She fucking starved me in her many attempts to break me—she did.
There are whole chunks of my childhood I don’t remember because of her.
” My throat tightens, but I keep going. “She brought other people there. Made me do horrible things.” I meet Kiera’s eyes, making sure she can’t look away.
“So yeah, you may be broken, Kiera. But that doesn’t change a single thing for me, because I’m just as broken. ”
Kiera’s eyes shine with tears she refuses to let fall as she stares down at the photo. She looks down at the photo. “Sterling.” She lifts her gaze back to me, like my name is the only thing she can manage to say.
“I didn’t tell you for pity. I told you so you’d know you’re not alone. Their sins are not ours to bear—they never were.”
Kiera shakes her head. “No. The woman in this photo…that’s Miss Angel.”
The world tilts as I try to wrap my head around what she just said. How can my mom be the chef Kiera adored? They don’t even sound like the same person. “How old were you when the memory loss started?” I ask, even though I’m not sure I want the answer.
“It started around seven, but it was on and off until I was eighteen. When I moved out of my father's house.” She watches me with the same confused look I’m sure I’m giving her.
“So, around the same time as mine, but it stopped shortly after my mom disappeared. What are we missing?” I flop back on the bed. I always knew my mom was a horrible person, but could she really be tied up in this, too? Fuck me, I thought I was done with her shit.
Kiera curls up beside me, her warmth seeping through the fog in my head. “I don’t know, but we will figure it out. Let’s just get some rest. Lila is probably already asleep.” She hesitates, fingers brushing my arm. “Can I just stay in here?”
Nodding, I strip down and pull the covers back, motioning for her to climb in. Once she’s settled, I slide in beside her. I fold one arm beneath my head and stare up at the ceiling. We stay like that in the quiet, saying nothing, until sleep finally drags us both under.
“Hi.” I look over to my left and see a girl a few years younger than me watching me curiously. “What are you doing here?” she asks.
“I don’t know.” My brain feels thick and groggy, like it’s wading through mud. The last thing I remember is the man handing me a protein bar. How did I end up here? “Where are we?”
“We’re at my house, silly. Mom and Dad said we were going to be friends. Do you want to be my friend?” I glance around and realize we’re in a basement—but it’s not the same one I was in before.
“Um, sure.” My voice comes out thin and unsure. “Do you know where my mom is?” What happened? None of this makes sense. This has to be a bad dream.
“No. Dad said to stay down here. We can’t leave.” My breathing picks up. This can’t be happening.
The sound of dripping water grows louder as I blink myself awake.
I’ve been moved again. I was just with a little girl—where did she go?
My head throbs in time with each drip, and my stomach twists, whether from hunger or whatever they keep dosing me with, I don’t know.
A nearby door creaks open. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” my mom’s voice slices through the silence.
“Where am I?” I push myself upright slowly, the room tilting and spinning around me. “Where’s that little girl?”
“Where you’ve always been. There’s been no little girl.” Her face stays blank, unreadable. God, no. This can’t be happening. I know I saw her.
“Yes, there was. This man came in and gave me food, and then I woke up in another room with her.” I grip the edge of whatever I’m lying on, knuckles aching. I cannot be losing my mind right now.
“Sterling, stop being dramatic. We have a guest coming soon. Don’t screw this up.”
My mind is spiraling. I feel like I’m losing days. My stomach growls. “Can I have some food, please? I’m starving.”
“No. When you stop being so emotional, then you can have food.” Mom laughs, the sound edged with the exact cruelty she intends.
Tears stream down my face as I whisper, “Please…Why can’t you just love me?”
“Sterling.” I hear my name, distant and muffled, but I’m still trapped in the dream.
“Hey, it was just a dream. You’re okay.” The voice threads through the darkness and wraps around my chest like a dark angel’s hand.
“I’m right here. You’re okay.” I force my eyes open and find Kiera leaning over me.
“There you are.” She gives me a soft smile. “You had me worried for a minute.”
“Sorry, I guess talking about everything last night triggered the nightmare.” I groan as I push myself upright, catching sight of the hint of sunrise edging through the window. “Did I wake you?”
“No, I couldn’t sleep.” She rocks back onto her heels, where she’s kneeling beside me on the bed. “You okay?”
Nodding my head, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just need a caffeine fix.”
Kiera laughs under her breath. “Thank fuck, I need caffeine too. Let’s go before Lila wakes up. She’s the devil without it.”
We stand up and make our way to the kitchen. Kiera beelines straight for the coffee pot, rifling through the cabinets until she finds what she wants, then gets the machine going before dropping onto a stool at the island. “What do you think our parents were up to?”
I sigh. “I don’t know—but knowing Angelina and Wade, nothing good. We’ll keep searching, though.” She nods, already drifting into her head. What are we missing?