Chapter 21
Idon’t go back to the prison. I don’t even call.
For a week after my last drive out there, I mostly stayed home, except to go to the grocery store.
I’ve spent my time praying and meditating, and I almost called another priest from St. Joseph, thinking I was ready to confess, but after two rings, I hung up.
After a shower, I make myself some dinner, and turn on the TV, ready to settle in on the couch. Before I can take a bite, three slow knocks hit my door.
On my way across the living room, my stomach tightens and my pulse begins to race. I already know who it is before I open it.
Javier’s leaning against the door jamb, a lopsided grin on his lips. “I believe we have plans.”
My stomach does a somersault, but I remain impassive. “Do we?”
His grin widens as he looks me up and down while strutting in.
I close the door and take a deep breath before turning around.
“This is your idea of fun on a Saturday night? A pasta salad on a TV tray while watching the news?”
I purse my lips and tilt my head. “I’m sorry, should I be getting into fights and thrown into prison instead?”
He chuckles. “Touché. But as you can see, I’m out, and I remember a conversation we had while I was locked up.”
“I don’t recall,” I lie, shifting my feet.
The smile he sends my way has a jolt of electricity running up my spine, but then he begins taking steps toward me, the smile falling. He grabs my chin in his hand, running his thumb over the seam of my mouth.
“I don’t like when lies fall from these pretty lips.” I almost forget to breathe as he stares into my eyes, his grip still on my face. “You remember our conversation, don’t you?”
I nod once and he loosens his hold on me, his hand cradling my jaw. “Yes,” I say quietly.
“And you want what I want.”
It isn’t a question, but I reply as if it was.
“Yes.”
With his other hand, he touches my stomach and slowly slides his hand down my body until he reaches my growing erection.
“Yes,” he purrs. “Good.”
I swallow and lick my lips, trying to ignore the voice in my head that’s telling me this is wrong. I’m violating an oath. I’m about to sin.
“You’re thinking too much,” he tells me, massaging my cock through my pants.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. I’m not going to apologize for making you break your oath. We’re doing what we want. Simple as that.”
When I don’t relax, he continues.
“Do you need to feel like you don’t have a choice?” he asks, hand sliding to my throat. “Do you need to feel like something is being done to you versus taking part in it?”
A thrill runs through me at the thought and I hate myself for enjoying the idea, but he saw something in my eyes when the words left his lips. He grins before walking me backwards until I hit the front door.
His body presses against mine as his mouth moves to my neck. He speaks against the skin under my ear.
“I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. You’re not gonna make me wait any longer.”
Molten hot lust explodes in my chest and rushes through my veins as his tongue dances along my flesh before he bites down just hard enough to make me gasp.
He’s hard and rough as he takes my wrists and slams my hands above my head, holding me in place. His lips kiss along my jaw and his teeth bite into my chin before his tongue licks a trail down my throat.
Releasing his hold on me, he reaches for the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head, throwing the material to the floor.
His eyes drink me in before he’s lowering himself to his knees. Once again, my breath catches in my throat as I press one hand against the door and squeeze the doorknob in the other.
I watch as his fingers dip into the waistband of my pajama pants and tug them down. My erection strains against my navy blue briefs, harder than I’ve been in a while.
Javier teases me with kisses around the edges of my underwear. His tongue traces the outside of the material, slightly dipping underneath and robbing me of air. A noise escapes my throat as I long for him to do more, but I don’t beg for it.
His hands reach around and squeeze my ass, his nose nuzzling into my cock as he breathes in.
“Fuck,” I mutter quietly, lifting my head toward the ceiling.
I tell myself there’s still time to stop. I can shove him away and step aside. I can and should put an end to this. Nothing’s really happened yet.
Then I feel my underwear being pulled down. I drop my head and gaze down at him only to find him staring right back at me.
When my underwear get to mid-thigh, my cock is pointing right at him, hard as a rock—the veins full of blood.
“You got me on my knees, Father. Should I make a confession?” I nod once. “I’m about to ruin your life.”
Then he opens his mouth and takes me across his tongue.
“Oh, God,” I gasp, gripping the doorknob tighter.
Javier devours me.
I’ve always thought I was just a little above average in the size department.
Maybe seven inches and fairly thick. But the way he takes me all the way into his mouth, you’d think I was small.
He doesn’t struggle to suck me deep. He moans as his saliva coats my length, his tongue swirling along the bottom of my shaft.
Javier’s experienced—more than I am, and I feel a surge of jealousy and inadequacy. I won’t be able to please him as well. But damn him for being able to give so many blow jobs to men to know how to be so good. I’m both thankful and resentful.
It doesn’t take long for me to feel an orgasm building. I haven’t had one since I came in my pants when he was here before. But the last one I had with physical touch was so long ago, I couldn’t even put a timestamp on it.
“Please,” I pant, reaching down to touch his head. “Stop.”
He slows down but doesn’t stop immediately. His tongue flickers against the underside of my head before he lets me fall from his mouth.
“I’m not done with you yet.”
My tongue touches the corner of my mouth as I attempt to catch my breath.
He stands and quickly turns me around, my face pressed against the door as he runs his hands down my sides, squeezing my hips before gripping each cheek.
“God,” he breathes. “Your ass is so soft and round. It’s made for sin, carino.”
I exhale, a small whimper coming out as well.
“I need to bury myself in it,” he says, still kneading the flesh. “First my tongue. Then my dick.”
My back arches just slightly and he runs a finger through the crack. “Not here.”
He quickly shoves my underwear down and I step out of them. Taking my hand, he leads me to my bedroom like this is his place.
“Get on the bed,” he says, removing his jacket.
I sit on the edge, almost tempted to stroke myself as I watch him undress.
Javier removes something from his pocket and tosses it next to me. A small bottle of lube.
He places his jacket on the chair in my room, removes his shoes, and begins undoing his pants.
His shoulder holster is on over his T-shirt, and I can see both guns sheathed in the leather. The sight of him makes my cock jump.
Javier doesn’t finish undressing. Instead he drags the chair over to the side of the bed.
“Hands and knees,” he says. “Right in front of me.”
I look at him and to the chair, then I get in position in front of his seat. Right as I’m about to start feeling vulnerable and embarrassed, he sits and caresses my ass with a moan deep in his throat.
I lift my head and see the crucifix on my wall.
Lord, forgive me.
Javier’s arms hook under my thighs, lifting me up slightly while also pulling me closer, and then his tongue slides between my cheeks.
“Oh, God,” I whimper.
“Mmm,” is his response.
Once again, I’m consumed. He doesn’t let a single part of me go untouched. His tongue slides up and down the crease. His fingers dig into my flesh and the tip of his tongue prods at my entrance.
When he backs away, it’s only to show attention to my balls, drawing them into his mouth one by one.
My fists gather the comforter in their tight grip as he continues his delicious assault.
He brings his arms back and uses his hands to spread me apart, moaning and grunting his delight at seeing my hole. He fucks me with his tongue, and my arms buckle.
The chair slides across the floor as he stands, and I watch through my spread legs as he pushes his pants down and removes his erection from his underwear.
My tongue darts across my lips as he begins stroking himself. He leans down to keep licking me, moaning as he brings us both pleasure.
He pulls away and snatches the lube from the bed, popping open the cap.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, “But I absolutely want to ruin you.”
A chill runs over me, but I’m not afraid. Not of him. Not of the pain. I’m afraid I’m about to be irrevocably changed after this, and I don’t know if there will be any coming back.
Cold liquid hits my ass, and he begins spreading it around before gently inserting a finger.
Javier takes his time trying to get me prepped, and I imagine it’s taking a lot of patience on his end. For a man like him—violent and brazen, he’s not going about things as I thought he would. I am both appreciative and yet somewhat disappointed.
I almost wanted it to feel like a punishment. If it was hard and rough and done with little thought about my pleasure, I’d be able to say I didn’t enjoy it. That it wasn’t what I wanted. I’d probably not want it to happen again.
My cock begins to leak as he puts another finger inside me, and tears burn the backs of my eyes at how good it feels.
While his fingers work inside me, his other hand grabs ahold of my erection and begins to move.
“Ohh,” I moan, voice shaky.
He smears the precum over my head and continues to stroke. This lasts another few minutes before he’s easing away.
The sound of a condom wrapper hits my ears as he rips it open. The undone belt on his pants jingles as he pushes them down, and then the wet slithery noise of the condom being unrolled onto his length is the final thing I hear before he says, “Roll over.”