Chapter 42
Waking up today, we do normal morning routines, but with a rain cloud over our heads. We discuss mundane topics, but in the silent stretches, the concern is deafening. There’s a storm on the horizon, but we don’t know how it’s going to develop, or the destruction it’ll leave in its wake.
Javier left to see my dad again last night, and didn’t crawl back into bed until almost one in the morning. He didn’t come with a whole lot of new information, but reiterated my father’s request to keep me far from the action.
I hate being left here while he and my dad are in the middle of the fight.
I won’t be able to relax. I won’t know what’s going on, and if Javier never shows up, or I never hear from my dad, who do I talk to?
Where do I go to find out what happened?
I met my father’s guys, but I don’t have any contact information. Nobody will call me.
“Hey.”
Javi comes to a stop next to me where I’m sitting at the table in the kitchenette and staring off into space. He runs his hands through my hair, forcing my head back so I can look up at him.
“Get out of that head of yours, huh.”
I grab his hips and give him a forced smile. “I live in my head.”
“I know you do.” He leans down and kisses my temple.
“Can I get somebody else’s number?” I ask as he walks toward the small refrigerator.
“Whose?”
“Anyone. Actually, everyone’s. I don’t know who’s gonna be left standing, and if I don’t hear back from you or my dad, I need to be able to talk to someone to find out details.”
His back stiffens before he turns back to look at me. I think he’s going to once again tell me that he’ll be fine, and that there’s nothing to worry about, but he doesn’t.
“Sure. I’ll get some info for you.”
And that reply is like a punch in the gut.
We’re on the couch hours later, watching TV and eating some Chinese food when a knock sounds on the door.
I glance at Javier whose brows are knitted together. He gets up and puts his food on the table before going into his bedroom and grabbing a gun.
With it down at his side, he walks to the door and looks through the peephole. Glancing back at me, he mouths, it’s your dad.
A few seconds later, the two men walk into the living room. Javier exchanges the gun for his food and sits a little farther away from me, while Dad stands next to the other couch, his eyes glancing toward the TV.
“What’s going on?” Javi asks.
“Javier, can I talk to my son for a minute?”
“Oh. Sure,” he says, getting up from the couch. “I’ll go grab something from my car.”
I watch as he disappears into his room to get his shoes on, then promptly leaves the apartment.
Dad finally sits on the couch to my left, loosing a sigh.
“What’s up?” I ask, putting my food down.
He’s quiet for a bit, his eyes dancing around the room.
“You still have that box I gave you?”
“Yeah. It’s at home.”
He nods once. “Good.”
Silence sits heavy between us, and when he doesn’t say anything, I speak up.
“I told Javi…” I clear my throat. “I told Javier that I’d like some contact info for some of the guys. In case I need to reach out to someone for information.”
Dad’s dark eyes narrow in on me. “Someone will know to find you if that needs to be done,” he says simply.
“Who?”
“Someone else who won’t be there, but who I know I can trust. Well,” he sighs, “who I’m pretty positive I can trust. These days, I’m not sure I can trust anyone.”
I sit forward a little, running a hand through my hair. “I’m just gonna be blunt about this.” He nods. “If you die, what should I expect?”
He watches me carefully, then takes a deep breath and opens his mouth. “My consigliere, George, will reach out to you. He and my top guys already know my wishes. If you choose to step in, it will happen.”
“Isn’t there some sort of initiation process?” I question. “Murder, for example?”
Dad shakes his head. “You stepping in will bend the rules a little, but if it comes at my demise, it’ll be you who deals with any fallout.
George will help you. He’ll fill you in on everything you need to know, and you’ll meet everyone you need to.
You’ll have to earn everyone’s respect, and it’ll take time, but I have several guys who will be there to guide you until you catch on.
You’re a smart kid, you’ll figure it out. ”
“Speaking of bending rules. What about—”
He seems to know exactly where I was going. “Whatever you choose to do about that will be your own decision,” he says, holding up a hand. “I’ll be dead, and so will my concern. I’ll warn you, as I always have, it won’t be easy. Guys won’t like it. It could be bad.”
“So, you’d suggest keeping it a secret?”
His eyes roam over my face, an emotion behind them that’s unfamiliar to me. I can’t quite read it, and it’s gone before I can dwell on it too much.
“I’d suggest being someone they wouldn’t dare question. About anything.”
I nod, and a small flutter of hope takes flight in my chest.
“Like you?”
His lips curl up slightly on one side. “I suppose.”
I snort before letting some time pass. “And what if I decide it’s not for me?”
Dad leans back. “Then you talk to George about that.” His fingers tap on the arm of the couch.
“But, Carlo, I think you could do great things with it. You’re different than I am, and I don’t say that as a critique.
You have a good head on your shoulders. You could make changes, and with the right people on your side, you’d have an army to back you up.
It’ll be a slow process, but you’re young. You have time.”
My heart squeezes in my chest. I’ve never heard my dad talk to me like this before. The compliments and confidence in me has my head spinning.
I nod, swallowing down a lump of emotion.
“And Javier,” he says, pointing at me. “You like him, right?”
A small amount of fear unfurls in my stomach.
I want to tell him everything—that not only do I like him, but that I can’t imagine living my life if Javier doesn’t exist within it.
However, it’s not just my life, it’s Javier’s too.
So, the truth hides in the shadows behind me as indifference runs ahead.
I shrug. “Yeah, sure.”
I might’ve undersold it, because Dad doesn’t look impressed by my answer. “He’s a good guy. I mean, he’s bad, but it’s good to have someone like him on your side.”
I choke out a laugh. “Right.”
“Keep him around.” He watches me, ensuring I absorb this command.
I nod. “I will.”
“We’ll be leaving soon,” he says. “Need to meet up with George before we get things going.”
I run my palms across my pants. “Okay.”
He stands and I follow suit. “Be careful out there.”
Dad chuckles as he aims for the front door. “I’ll be fine.”
I stifle a laugh, because he and Javier sound just alike. “Right.”
He turns and we watch each other for a few seconds, neither one of us knowing what to do or say next. We haven’t been close and he’s never been affectionate. We hardly know how to have normal conversations, but now we’re here, unsure if we’ll see each other again.
“All right,” I say, stepping forward and opening my arms. “We’ll talk again soon.”
He awkwardly wraps his arms around me, giving my back a couple pats. “Yeah.”
When we pull away, Javier walks in, stopping short when he sees us so close to the door.
“Am I good?”
Dad nods. “I was just about to leave. Do whatever you need to do and meet me down in the garage.”
“Okay.”
He doesn’t turn around or say anything else, and I wonder if that’s the last image I’ll have of my father.
“Everything okay?” Javi asks.
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Well, I guess it’s time for me to leave.”
I step to the side and let him pass before following him into the room. From the bed, I watch him strap up, arming himself with guns in his holster and the knife on his belt. He’s decked out in black—from his jeans, T-shirt, and boots, to the light jacket he always wears to hide the guns.
Once he’s done, he looks at me and reaches for my hand. Our fingers touch, then he pulls me up from the bed and brings me into his arms.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers into my ear. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”
I squeeze him tighter. “Okay.”
It’s hard to let him go, but eventually I pull away. He cradles my cheek and presses a kiss to my mouth.
“See you soon,” he says.
“Yes. Soon.”