Chapter 29
Kat
E van is … not himself in the least. His shoulders are hunched, and he keeps checking his phone like he’s waiting for something.
Ever since we left dinner last night, he’s been closed off. I wish I’d never brought up Samantha. It was a mistake.
Evan checks his phone again as an explosion on the television booms through the living room. He doesn’t flinch or react. He’s numb.
I scroll through the list I’ve added to the baby registry. Maddie sent me a check-off chart and it’s so, so long. All the clothes in miniature and every odd and end, from pacifier holders to little mittens, should be enjoyable to add, but there’s a nagging feeling that claws at my chest.
I peek up at him again, scooting closer into the cushion and pulling the throw tighter around me. “Why do you keep checking your phone?”
“It’s nothing,” he answers.
I’m slow and deliberate as I arrange myself into a cross-legged position across from my husband on the sofa.
The expression on his face is one I’ve seen before, the “what is she doing?” look.
He sets his phone down beside him, and I don’t take my eyes off his, but I notice how he tries to hide it.
“No secrets,” I remind him. “You promised.”
Another loud boom from the television distracts me and I reach for the remote without hesitation, bending over Evan to grab it from where it sits right next to his phone. As soon as the television screen goes black, I toss the remote behind me.
Giving him my full attention I tell him, “I feel like maybe you have something to tell me.” I hold his gaze and his expression gives me nothing.
I’m so close to snatching his phone out of his hands just to prove him wrong, but before I pull the trigger on that idea he says, “I don’t want to bother you with these things.”
“You’re my husband. You’re supposed to bother me.” I say it with a little humor, but again, he doesn’t react.
“Tell me, Evan. I want to know.” I scoot closer to him, just a bit so my leg touches his and I rest a hand on his thigh.
“It’s something you said. About Samantha having drugs.” Dread washes over me. I never should have gone to see her, confront her or spoken her name. I regret it all. He glances away from me at the far wall in the room. “It’s something bad,” he adds.
“Her having drugs is … what? I don’t understand.” I hate that an inkling of jealousy creeps up on me, but it’s quickly followed by a darker realization. The coldness that came with the dread sinks down deeper, coating every inch of my skin.
“The coke that killed Tony was laced with another drug. High amounts, enough to kill.” He looks me in the eye and slowly the pieces come together, one by one.
A chill sinks into the marrow of my bones. Samantha. Not James. “Did you tell Mason?”
He nods and then adds, “He thinks he has something concrete.”
“What?” I ask him, eager for more. I can’t lie. There’s a part of me that’s afraid, but a bigger part that needs to know. Ever since Evan told me his theory, I’ve questioned it. I’ve questioned his sanity even. I started to think it was all in his head.
“He can’t tell me over the phone,” Evan says as if that’s the end of the discussion.
“Is it good or bad?” I ask him, guilt and stupidity both weighing down my words.
“Good, I think.” He hesitates, but then adds, “He said it’s done and to come see him. I’m just waiting for the time and place.”
“It’s done?” I question, feeling my eyes widen with hope. My lungs stay perfectly still until Evan nods his head once.
“Just waiting for the time and place.” He turns his attention back to the television and then glances at the remote.
There’s an eerie feeling that settles between us, a darkness I can’t seem to grasp.
“You know I love you, right?” he asks as he brushes the hair out of my face.
My eyes flicker from his chest to his eyes as I say, “I do.”
His lips twitch into a smile and he leans forward to kiss me. It’s chaste and quick, but he rests his forehead against mine, his hand still on my jaw.
“I don’t like this,” he whispers.
I can’t respond. The words are caught in my throat and I have nothing to say other than, “I love you too. I’ll wait with you.”