CHAPTER 3
LANGSTON
For the last twenty minutes I’ve been eyeing the woman in front of me with wariness wrapped around me like a blanket. She’s bright-eyed and full of hope, that’s for sure. And she’s gorgeous.
Her body is all curves that make my mouth water. The way her blue eyes seem to twinkle along with the awe written on her face makes me want to shield her from the realty of the world we live in. But can I really do that?
I wasn’t able to shield myself or protect my best friend from the demons nipping at our heels because of the way fame causes danger and destruction to loom around you. This woman, Cove, sparkles and shines, but am I worthy to bask in her light?
I don’t think I am even though I wish things were different.
Am I even in the right place to really be interested in this woman? We’re supposed to be working together, but my gut is screaming at me that I want so much more with her. The moment I walked into the cabin and saw her, it felt like I was being struck by a damn lightning bolt.
All I could see was her. I’m not sure how many throat clearings I ignored before I realized the people around me were trying to get my attention to introduce me to the woman in front of me. Watching a blush color her cheeks has my cock twitching behind the fly of my jeans.
I wanted her instantly, there was no denying that, but there was something deeper seeping into my soul. Something that had me twisted up and wanting to reach for her even before I knew her name.
When Elliot stepped forward, his eyes assessing me, I wanted to shrink away from him. Not because I wasn’t sober, because I took drying out fucking seriously, but it felt like he was looking much deeper than that.
I held my hand up, not caring about the audience. “I’m good,” I assured him. “I don’t know how well the music is going to go, but I’m ready to try.”
He nodded once before stepping back and toward the blonde bombshell that I was trying not to look at. “Good to hear, man. That’s why Cove is here. This is a chance for both of you. She’s an amazing songwriter and this is her chance for her to really show us what she’s got. This is her first chance to work with someone, but we think this will be a good fit.”
I wanted to sneer at the man and ask him why I needed an untried babysitter, but the words died on my tongue. With a curt nod, I turned toward the woman while my gut screamed at me to find out everything about her.
“This is Cove,” Gavin stepped forward and introduced us.
Cove.
Her name was a peaceful balm to my soul. It soothed something that had been raging inside of me for a long time.
While we were being given a tour, I kept stealing glances at Cove. It was hard not to watch the way her eyes lit up and filled with awe with every room we saw. There was something so innocent about her expression. I wanted to protect that in her, even though I had no idea where that feeling was coming from.
The front door closing is loud as I stand in the living room with Cove. The emptiness around us seems to reverberate with the reminder that the buffers between us are now gone. As Cove starts to twist her fingers together, it becomes very clear she’s just as aware of the fact that we’re alone as I am.
Interesting.
When was the last time I was as instantly entranced by a woman as I’ve been today?
Honestly, I can’t even remember. And isn’t that a fucking shame?
Being in the limelight and experiencing all the fame with the rise to stardom that I did with Langley, the band I started with Conley, jaded me in more ways than I even realized. Sure, we touched on my womanizing ways in treatment and how it helped to numb everything along with alcohol, but meeting Cove, somehow, brings the reality of it all into focus.
A war wages inside of me when I look at Cove. She’s gorgeous, innocent, and a little shy. Part of me burns with the knowledge that the chance I have in front of me to start the next chapter in my life rests on the untested and inexperienced shoulders of the woman in front of me. Leaning into the sliver of resentment twisting through me feels a lot fucking easier than admitting I’m captivated by the woman in front of me.
A hell of a lot easier.
“The studio was really cool, huh?” Cove’s voice is small and hesitant as she pulls my attention back to her; not that it’s difficult. I have no doubt that we could be in a stadium full of people and the only person I would be aware of is her. “I hope I don’t break anything,” her voice wobbles a little as she tries to make a joke.
Her smile wavers as I stare at her, unsure of how to respond to her. My hands itch to reach for her and pull her against my chest.
But that would not be a good idea. She’s far too good for me, I don’t even have to know anything about the woman to know that. My soul is tainted by grief, loss, and addiction. How long did I even lose myself in the bottom of a bottle, as I buried my feelings in faceless and nameless women? How long did I lose my way?
Far too long to be able to be anything of worth to a woman like Cove.
Then there’s the part where I need her and need this to work for me to be able to make a go of getting my life completely on track. I owe it to the guys of SO. They sure as hell didn’t need to track me down to a hole in the wall bar and dry me out when I wasn’t strong enough to do it myself.
I can’t miss this opportunity.
And there’s no way I can fuck this up for Cove either. From what Kat told me when she pulled me aside, this is Cove’s trial run with the label. If she’s talented enough for the guys to take a chance on her, then I don’t want to be the reason she doesn’t earn her place in this world.
Yeah, I can’t fuck this up for either of us.
I force myself to relax my body and give a casual shrug, “It’s a nice little studio. It’ll be enough for what we need at least,” I sound almost bored and the way Cove’s shoulders slump tells me she was hoping for a little more from me.
If only, my little Songstress; if only.
“Right,” she chuckles awkwardly, “I’m sure it’s no big deal for you.”
“It’s not,” I deadpan like an asshole.
When we were introduced, it became apparent that she knows exactly who I am and probably what has been reported about me. That doesn’t mean she knows me and erecting walls around myself is the safest thing I can do. For both of us.
Fuck, I could use a damn drink.
The grimace that graces her face has me stepping back from her, but only so I don’t move closer. I crave feeling the heat from her body. I crave her sweetness.
I’m just not worthy of it.
The sooner she realizes it, the better we’ll both be. Even if it kills a part of me with every bit of distance I force between us. Fuck, my chest aches with the notion, but there’s nothing I can do about that.
It’s past time that I take responsibility for myself and my actions. I’m protecting her in the only way I know how.
Cove makes a humming sound as she nods absently. I almost stumble when I meet her blue-eyed gaze, there’s an intensity there, a fierceness, that almost has me losing control.
Her voice is soft and soothing, “I love your music, just so you know.” The way she bites the corner of her lip has me wanting to pull it free and nip at it myself. “I just,” she pauses and takes a deep breath, “don’t see a reason to hide it.” I almost smile because she’s fucking adorable, but I hold it back. Her eyes turn soft and something like pain passes her face and she starts to stay, “I’m sorry for-.”
I cut her off sharply, “Don’t.”
I know what she was going to say, and I can’t hear it. Not from her. Not right now.
I’ve been digging up my grief and examining it instead of burying it deeper far too much recently. I can’t hear platitudes and apologies right now. Not now. Not from her.
Her blue eyes go wide and round, which is bad enough, but it’s the pity I see shining in her gaze that makes me want to rage. I don’t want her pity. I don’t want anyone to lay that shit at my feet.
I don’t deserve it.
I deserve to wallow in my grief. It’s what I was doing while drowning in alcohol and bad decisions. But I was pulled out and I’m not going to waste the chance I’ve been given. I won’t do that to myself or to Conley’s memory.
I can’t.
“I don’t want your fucking pity,” I growl the words, letting my anger free. It’s not difficult to do. Maybe it should be.
Cove narrows her eyes, and I see a challenge flash there. She scoffs, “Being sorry someone has experienced loss is not the same thing as pity.”
I take a deep breath and try to get myself under control considering I have to work with this woman, and I want her desperately. Even if I can never have her. “Look,” my voice is gruff, “we might as well get the awkward shit out of the way so we can move past it. I’m sure you’re aware of the shit that the tabloids and paparazzi were more than willing to spread about me. Most of it was true, I’m sure, but that doesn’t mean you know me.”
She straightens her shoulders like she’s preparing herself for battle. It’s sexy as fuck. “Just because I said that I like your music doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend to know you, Langston,” she almost sneers my name like it’s a bad word.
My eyes widen at her boldness. I’m not used to women standing up to me. It’s refreshing as hell.
“I just don’t want you fawning over me since we have to work together,” I try and play off my reaction to her as I cross my arms across my chest.
“Oh,” she chuckles and shakes her head, “you don’t need to worry about that. I might like your music and appreciate you have way more experience than me, but I can see that we’re in the same boat as well.”
“How do you figure?”
One of her perfect eyebrows arches as if to mock me and my dick fucking twitches. “We have an equal opportunity here to create something worth the label. This might be my first an only chance to show the label that I’m worth the chance, but it’s kind of yours as well.”
I find myself staring at Cove, taking all her in. The fire burning in her eyes, the determination, and her unwillingness to bow down and simper because of who I used to be, has part of the walls crumbling at her feet.
“We’ll see,” I grumble.
“Yeah, we will,” she snarks right back at me before turning and walking away.
I can’t stop myself from calling out, “Where are you going?”
She looks at me over her shoulder, her eyes sweeping over my body. “Since you have all the attitude of a fucking diva, I thought it would be better to channel that into the work.” She flashes me a sickly-sweet smile full of sarcasm and sass. “don’t want to lose that energy.”
I watch as she slips through the door that leads down to where the studio is, my eyes glued to her round ass. It’s more than a handful, just like her tits. My mouth waters when I think about getting my hands on her bare skin.
With a shake of my head, my feet start moving me toward where she disappeared.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.
I’m in so much fucking trouble with this woman.