CHAPTER 5
LANGSTON
As I run my hand over my face, self-loathing seeps into the deepest parts of me. I fucked up. I know it. Who likes to be told that someone is surprised at how talented they are? I would hate it if someone said that shit to me.
If she knew how deeply impressed I am by her, and how much it surprised me, she probably would have slapped me. I wouldn’t have even blamed her for it, honestly.
The only person I had ever written music with was Conley and there were times, especially after we got famous and were trying to stay on top, when it was extremely difficult. We’d struggle over making what we both brought to the table mesh together into something cohesive that made sense for our band.
It didn’t always work. Hell, there are probably notebooks full of songs that were complete shit or are unfinished. I’m sure they’re right where I left them in the house we shared in California. I haven’t been there since right after Conley was laid to rest.
There was no way I could face that place then. I’m not even sure I could go there now and not feel like the ground was moving beneath my feet. Being sober might help, or it might make the darkness feel even bleaker and all encompassing.
“Fuck,” I bark out sharply knowing full well that Cove can’t hear me with the studio being sound proofed.
The look of hurt in her eyes and the way she practically ran away from me like there was a hell hound nipping at her heels guts me.
“Get your shit together,” I mutter to myself.
Not only has working with Cove helped me tap back into music, inspiration coming to me from the moment I set my eyes on her, but it’s settled something in me. Don’t worry, I’m aware she’s not some cure-all. I’m still broken.
I’m just not sure that I’m fractured beyond repair anymore.
Is that because of the music or because of her? Both? Does it even matter?
After giving her notebook a longing look, wishing we were still making music together instead of her being pissed at me, I stand up and head out of the studio. I owe her an apology. Hell, I’ll get down on my knees for her if I have to.
No, that would probably be a bad idea. If I get down on my knees for that woman, I won’t be begging, I’ll be burying my face between her thick thighs.
The need I have for Cove, a burning desire I’ve never felt before, has gotten worse with every moment I’ve spent with her, and it’s only been a few days. I can’t imagine how difficult it’s going to be by the time we finish out here.
I guess I should be grateful that SO only wants five songs from us. For now.
I get it because why waste everyone’s time if we aren’t working well together or if the songs we’re writing are shit? The song we’ve almost finished isn’t shit though. It’s good. Damn good.
Part of me wishes I could take more credit for it, and while I’ve worked with her, it has been mostly Cove. It’s clear my woman has music flowing from the light in her soul.
Woah. My woman?
Yeah, jackass. Mine. She’s mine.
I stumble a little right as I get to the top of the stairs with the realization that I want much more with Cove than one night of heating up the sheets. Oh, I fucking for sure want that as well, but there’s something more between us. It crackles along my skin whenever I’m around her.
From the way her eyes become like liquid metal heated by desire, she’s been feeling the same thing I have. She’s held it mostly in check, trying to be professional, but there are times when she can’t hide it. I’ve seen her thighs clench together from time to time and her eyes sweep over my body with appreciation in her gaze.
I’ve eaten up every scrap of attention like the needy fucking asshole I am. I’m not even going to apologize for it.
Fuck. I want her so damn badly and I don’t think I’m going to be able to resist the pull I feel toward her much longer. Knowing how well we work together and feeling the spark of creativity again; it being all because of her, makes that need burrow deeper in my gut and engulf me until it’s hard to feel anything else.
When I hear a sound coming from the kitchen, I head in that direction and almost trip over my own fucking feet when I find a scowling Cove muttering angrily as she looks in the fridge. It’s as adorable as it is sexy. I don’t even know how that’s possible.
“I’m sorry,” my voice is gruff and a little deeper than it normally is.
What else can be expected when I’ve taken more than a second to stare at my woman’s glorious ass? I bet it would look even better rippling as I plunge into her from behind. The thought of spanking her as I hold onto her shoulder and power my thick cock into her has me feeling lightheaded.
Cove lets out a yelp of surprise as she spins around, her shoulder hitting the open door of the fridge that has condiment bottles rattling against each other. She screeches indignantly, “What the fuck, Langston? You scared the shit out of me,” there’s a breathlessness in her voice that I want to hear when I’m balls deep inside of her instead of fear being the reason for it.
I reach over and grip the edge of the large, rustic island in the kitchen. Maybe if I hold on tight enough then I won’t reach for her. I don’t want to be slapped. Touching her before I’ve told her just how badly I want her, and she knows how sorry I am for being a dick would be a bad idea.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy to keep my hands to myself.
“I’m sorry,” I say again after clearing my throat.
The way her eyes narrow at me tells me I’m about to get a healthy dose of her sass. It’s refreshing as hell when she hits me with an attitude. I’ve been around people for far too long who were only interested in catering to me and making me happy.
It made me into a prick, and it allowed me to forget what it was like before making it big. That kind of entitlement and the feeling of being above it all led me down a path I never want to revisit. I lost Conley because of it. I lost everything because of it.
Never the fuck again.
I try not to smile at the way Cove is glaring at me, but by the way the slits of her eyes get even smaller tells me that I wasn’t able to hide it entirely. As long as I don’t tell her she’s cute, I should be okay.
Maybe.
“What, exactly,” she seethes, “are you sorry for?”
I hold my hands up in front of me and take a step closer, unable to stop myself. My voice is soft, and I hope she can hear the sincerity in it, “I didn’t realize how my compliment sounded before it came out of my mouth. Your talent is amazing, Cove. It’s rare to meet someone like you. You’re so damn good with a lyric and you feel the music in a way that’s completely natural. That shit doesn’t come around all the time. I really did mean it as a compliment, not an insult.”
Her shoulders slump slightly, but her eyes are still fierce as she studies my face. I’m sure she’s looking for a lie, but she won’t find one. Every word I’ve said to her is true. She’s rare. A fucking gem.
“Songstress,” I whisper and take another step toward her. I’m close enough now that I can feel the heat coming from her body. Does she have any idea how hard it is not to hold her? “I’m fucking lucky to be writing with you.”
She blinks up at me, the glare gone as her eyes widen. I drown in the blue of her eyes for a moment and I’m more than okay with it.
I could drown in her eyes forever.
I shudder slightly at the thought. I’ve never considered settling down before. Why would I? Now, I realize that I just needed to meet the right woman for everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I wanted, to be turned on its head.
“Really?” The disbelief in that one word makes my heart clench uncomfortably.
“I’m being one hundred percent honest with you, Cove.” My eyes roam over her face, wanting to remember, needing to remember. “You have this innate understanding for the words, for the emotion, even if you haven’t experienced it.” The blush that starts to coat her cheeks has me reaching for her and cupping her face in my hands even though I know I shouldn’t. “How did you make me feel seen, but not ashamed?”
“Langston,” she whispers.
“Can we start over? I know I made a horrible first impression on you. I’m sorry for that too. I was defensive and fucking rude. You didn’t deserve that shit from me,” there’s a plea in my tone.
My heart is pounding in my chest as silence stretches between us. Have I ever wanted someone’s grace more than I do in this moment?
“There’s nothing to forget and no reason to start over,” she murmurs and my stomach plummets. Her eyes soften and she bites her lip before taking a deep breath. “You’ve been making a lot of changes in your life lately. It’s not easy to do and I don’t blame you for lashing out first.”
“You should,” my tone is demanding, and she blinks up at me. “I was a dick.”
A small smile curls up one side of her pouty mouth, and she teases, “I’m not arguing that.”
Every muscle in my body goes taunt and I grunt, “Songstress.”
As her lips part, I see something simmer in the depths of her eyes. Before I have a chance to second guess myself or even think about it, I take her mouth in a kiss. It’s gentle at first, but when she gasps, I slip my tongue into her mouth.
The moment I taste her, I can’t get enough. My arms wrap around her body, and I pull her curves against the hard planes of my chest. The way she clings to me and moans into my mouth has me desperate for everything from this woman.
I knew I wanted her, needed her, the moment I saw her, but this is more. So much fucking more. I don’t think I can tackle the next stage of my life without this woman in my arms. To shield me. To give me safe haven. To help me stand taller. To give me purpose.
As my hands slide over her hips and up her sides, I slow the kiss down. I might want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her to my bedroom, but I don’t want to rush this. I can’t.
There is no way that I’ll allow Cove to think she’s anything less than everything. If I move too fast, I’ll fuck everything up. I won’t allow that.
When I pull back from her, I watch with avid interest as Cove stands there for a few breaths, frozen in time. I let out a low groan as her tongue slides along her bottom lip like she wants to taste me again.
Even though I want to kiss her again, I stop myself and revel in the way it feels to have her in my arms.
Cove’s eyes pop open and she wrenches herself from my hold, stumbling back a few steps. “Oh,” she gasps, her eyes widening to a point that I’m a little concerned for her. “I, um, I,” she shakes her head as she stutters. “You kissed me,” she breathlessly points out.
As if we both don’t know what just happened.
I nod slowly, watching her face intently. Without another word, she spins around and flees the kitchen.
“Fuck,” I sigh as my chin hits my chest.
I’ll give her some time, but I’m not letting this go. Now that I’ve tasted her and felt her body melt against mine, there’s no way I can.
She’s mine.
Now I just have to prove it to her and show her that and help her to believe that the only woman I want from now on is her.