Chapter 9
" W ho the fuck does he think he is?"
I was fucking pissed after my encounter with Sire. I don't know why I expected anything different from him. From the day he locked me in that freezing basement, he'd been a complete asshole.
"Fuck," I hissed when I cut my finger on a piece of the broken plate I was cleaning out of the sink. Checking out my wound, I saw it wasn't too deep. "I hate it here."
Leaving the kitchen, I walked to the bathroom for the first-aid kit I'd seen inside of there. After cleaning my cut and placing a bandage on my finger, I pressed my hands onto the counter while looking at myself in the mirror. I was completely naked, as requested by Sire before he left.
"How did we get here, Knovah girl?" I felt the tears warming my eyes before they formed. Tossing my head back, I tried to keep them inside, but they escaped out of the side of my eyes instead. I sniffled and returned to the bedroom.
Since Sire was gone, I went and put my pajama set back on. Why the fuck would I walk around here naked because he requested it? It was bad enough having to strip in front of him. The thought of having to do it for multiple men made me sick to my stomach. I would rather die than be exploited and treated like property.
Going to the sink, I was more careful as I cleaned the rest of the broken plate shards. I started running water so I could start on the dishes from breakfast. I could admit I felt a flutter in my core when I woke up to Sire cooking breakfast for us. After he had his face buried in my pussy, I allowed myself to entertain the idea of things changing.
"Ha, you knew better than that. Things never go your way, and life always gets worse," I ranted. I tended to talk to myself aloud, finding comfort in my own voice when I was alone.
Cleaning was also therapeutic for me, which was why I didn't mind this part of my captivity. It was the other shit that Sire wanted me to do that didn't sit well with my spirit.
My ass was still stinging from the spanking Sire had given me. I tried to contain my raging emotions, but it was hard to do when his actions made me feel like a scared little girl who anxiously waited for the next hit to come. When I escaped that toxic environment, I told myself I would never go back, yet here I was in a similar situation once again.
"I should've picked up a piece of the broken plate and stabbed him in the throat," I fumed with a heaving chest and watery eyes. While that sounded good, I knew I wasn't bold enough to kill someone even if they deserved it.
I felt like shit. Why couldn't I be treated like a decent human being? What was it about me that made people do their worst? I sobbed, thinking of all the pain I'd experienced at the hands of others, especially the ones who were supposed to care for me.
Sinking to the floor, I pressed my back into the counter. My arms went around my knees before my forehead dropped on top of them. A sob ripped out of me, mimicking the deep sorrow in my soul. Mindlessly, I began to twist my bracelet around my wrist. I missed my fucking sister. I wish it was her who got to keep living instead of me. I considered just letting Sire kill me. At least then, I'd finally be put out of my misery.
After I got it all out, I quickly wiped my eyes. "Enough of that, Noonie. You're going to be okay. This shit is only temporary." I lifted my head and nibbled on my lip. I had to go back to the drawing board. I was out of ideas but knew I had to get away from that psychopath.
Standing, I went back to cleaning the kitchen. Once I finished there, I went from room to room until I was finished. I still was no closer to having a plan because I knew the next time Sire let me go to the club, he wasn't likely to let me out of his sight. I wasn't allowed out of the penthouse any other time.
"Maybe he has a weakness I can exploit." I liked the way that sounded but knew it would require patience. If there were more days like today, I wasn't sure how long I would last. "I need a damn drink."
Heading back to the kitchen, I began searching high and low for the booze. I huffed in disappointment because I was empty-handed ten minutes later. I finally started to understand why Sire was so uptight. He had no vices.
Giving up on my search, I backtracked to the guest bedroom. Digging under the mattress, I grabbed the notebook and pen I'd stolen from Sire's office while I was cleaning yesterday. Lying on my stomach, I flipped to the first page before I began spilling my feelings.
Only within the college-ruled lines did I find the courage to express everything I was feeling. My body still tremored when memories of Sire's lips on my skin washed over me. I felt his big hands exploring, groping my curves like they were made specifically for him.
I couldn't lie like I wasn't a little curious about Sire. Why was he so guarded and mean? He looked like a man with plenty secrets to spill. If he ever allowed me the chance, I'd be right there, eager to hear them all. And maybe if I was lucky for once, he'd give me another orgasm.
That feeling was one of a kind. My heart melted into my bloodstream thinking about it. His social skills sucked, but he could eat some pussy. I'd give him that because I was damn near feigning for another experience while hating him at the same time. Is that even possible? Could you want someone and hate them at the same time?