Chapter 28
I gently caressed Noonie's cheek, admiring how beautiful she was. Sleeping quietly on my chest, I could feel her every inhale and exhale, putting my mind at ease. Leaning down, I placed a kiss on her forehead, knowing I was too far gone to turn back now.
She shifted only a little to snuggle closer to me. I was so at peace watching her sleep. I loved how soft her skin was. Resting my cheek on the top of her head, I debated what to do next.
My feelings for her were obvious, and there was no denying where I stood, meaning it was time for her time in captivity to come to an end. I already had the plan in mind. Now, I just needed to follow through. There was no discussion of what came next. Would she stay? Would she go? If she loved me, she would stay, right?
I wondered if there could ever be a true future for us knowing the things I'd done. Knovah came into my life like a whirlwind, uprooting everything I'd planted to keep myself safe. I never thought a woman could love me so wholeheartedly, but the way she fought for me showed that I was worthy of it even when I wasn't my best self.
I had to do what was best for Noonie. She'd gotten to know me and even love me because I trapped her here. Would her feelings remain the same when she had her freedom? I knew I couldn't put it off anymore. She deserved to walk away if that's what she chose. I prayed she didn't because she gave my life meaning again.
Easing from underneath her, I snatched my phone from the dresser and retreated to the terrace. It was late afternoon, so my father was probably available. I took a deep breath, then unlocked my phone to go to his contact. I tried to control my breathing as I waited for him to answer.
"JaSire... you have news for me?" He answered without greeting me or anything.
I shook my head, knowing it was foolish to expect anything less than his condescending and detached nature. Leaning across the railing, I decided to get this over with. "Yes. I have a proposition for you."
"I'm listening." I knew he would be. He only spoke business unless it involved my mother. She was the only one to shift his focus to something more passionate and real.
"I have Knovah, but she doesn't know where her friends are. I want to release her so she can get back to living her life. If you leave her alone, I will become CCB chairman," I proposed.
I was basically trading Noonie's freedom for my own. She was worth it, though. I would be okay with taking on my new position in the organization, knowing exactly what and who I'd be coming home to. I was lowkey excited just thinking about it, and nothing was concrete yet.
My father kept quiet. Before he asked the million-dollar question, I knew it was coming. "Why do you want to let her go?"
"Because I love her." It was my first time admitting it aloud, and it settled something in my spirit. It was the truth. There was no point in pretending it wasn't.
"Ha, my son has the ability to love. Who knew?" I tried not to let him bother me because before she came into my life, I'd been convinced I didn't. "I need to meet this girl after all."
"No," I responded quickly. Selfishly, I wanted to keep her to myself and far away from my family. "Do we have a deal or not?"
Again, he kept me waiting when we both knew it was too good a proposition to give up. Noonie wasn't really the one he wanted, anyway. She was not the mastermind behind the robbery and didn't deserve any fate that suggested otherwise. He was finally going to get what he wanted. There was no way he was turning that down.
"Okay, we have a deal. However, at some point, we will have to meet the girl you love."
I ran a hand down my face, feeling relieved. Ignoring what he'd said, I told him, "I'll be by to discuss the next steps."
Without waiting another second, I ended the call. I was relieved to know Knovah would be safe from any retaliation. Now, I had to share the news with her. Even though it terrified me to give her a choice, I knew it was the only way to know if this was real.
Returning inside, I went straight to my office. There was a safe inside the closet. Going inside, I punched in my code. The lock disengaged, and when I snatched it open, it was filled to the brim with one-hundred-dollar bills. Grabbing a duffel bag from off the floor, I began to stuff everything I had inside the duffel.
Once it cleared out, I closed it back and shouldered the bag. It was a little heavy, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Noonie was still passed out, sleeping on my bed. While I wanted to allow her to sleep, there was a part of me that was ready to get this over with so I would know what came next.
I dropped the duffel on the bed before sitting beside her. Very gently, I shook her awake. Her eyes didn't pop until I began kissing her face. She giggled as she regained consciousness.
"Hey, you," she murmured before yawning and stretching. I remained silent, using this time to memorize every detail. "What? What is it? Why do you look so serious?" I gave her a half smile, then nodded to the duffel. She hadn't noticed it at all. Leaning forward, she zipped it open to find all the money inside. "JaSire... what is all of this?"
"You are free to go. You deserve the best in life, and I hope this money can help you find whatever that looks like for you."
Her mouth fell open in surprise. "Are you serious?"
I nodded. "Very. It's all yours. Pretty girls deserve the world." Tears flooded her lash line. "Novi, you know I hate it when you cry."
She sniffled, using the back of her hand to wipe away her tears, only for more to follow them. "I know, I know. I'm just shocked."
I nodded, understanding where she was coming from. Standing slowly, I left her with this. "I have to go handle some business. My driver will take you wherever you want to go."
Each step that carried me away from her was heavier than the one before it. Why did doing the right thing have to be so emotionally draining? My heart was beating so fast you couldn't convince me I hadn't just run a fucking marathon. I was almost at the door when her voice made me pause.
"JaSire... thank you."
I couldn't turn around because I wasn't sure what I would say or do. I didn't want to influence whatever decision she made, which was why I had to leave immediately. "You don't have to thank me. Your freedom was always what you deserved."
Strolling out of the door, I headed straight to the elevator. I took it down to the garage level to see what she would decide. Either she'd be waiting for me to come back, or the doors would open again to set her free.
I slid into the driver's seat of my M8. I sat there silently, too afraid to take my eyes off the elevator for even a second, watching and waiting. When I heard the elevator bell chime, I knew what she'd decided. It still didn't prepare me for seeing her step off the elevator with the duffel bag strapped to her shoulder.
It looked like she'd dressed in a hurry, as if she was afraid I'd change my mind. My back slammed into the seat as defeat crowded every corner of the car. I should've known better than to believe Noonie would really want a future with me. I'd done too much damage to her.
I didn't blame her for wanting to get far away from me, but it didn't stop the burning sensations in my heart. I clutched my chest, realizing this hurt even more than losing my sister. Maybe because I was goofy enough to imagine a future with the world's most beautiful woman even though I knew she deserved better.
I watched the black truck disappear from the garage, carrying my heart with it. Tears burned in the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I wasn't a simp, and I wouldn't start now. Even though it hurt to see her leave, I knew I had to let her go. I allowed my chin to fall to my chest to steady my breathing. I squeezed the steering wheel, needing something to take my frustration out on.
Why couldn't I ever get a happy ending? I would never have genuine love, but I could admit the little time I spent with Noonie changed me in some ways. She helped me see there was more to me. Her belief in me was the only reason I felt like I could carry CCB on my back.
Becoming CCB chairman wasn't going to leave room for hurt feelings, so I decided to focus all my attention on where it would be useful. The transition wouldn't be easy, and some members were likely to have an issue with it. I couldn't let Noonie's leaving make me too vulnerable. Niggas would smell it from a mile away. My father already doubted me, but I wouldn't allow my heartbreak to be another reason for him to.