Chapter 31
" I can't tell."
I exhaled heavily. "I know, and that's because I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know how to do this, Knovah. I've never opened my heart to a woman before. Hell, I didn't even open it to you. You barged into my life and stole it." Her breathing started to slow, so I kept talking. "I've been scared as fuck to let you in because I didn't feel like I deserved you or your thoughtfulness... gentleness... or genuine love. You've made me feel things I've protected myself from since I lost my sister. That alone makes you different from anybody else I've had dealings with. I might've given her access to my body, but you are the only woman to have access to my heart, and that's on me."
This time, when Noonie turned to look at me, there was less fire in her eyes. It was quickly being replaced by something else... her love for me. "Do you mean that?"
I nodded and held out my hand for her to take. She looked at it hesitantly but eventually gave in. I pushed her against the wall. "I do. More than you know because I've been afraid to share it with you. I don't want to fight the truth anymore. I love you, Knovah Anderson. I want to do life with you, only you."
Tears welled in her eyes, further breaking me down. She knew I hated it when she cried. "Why'd you let me go then?"
I pressed closer to her body. "Because it was the right thing to do. I had to know if this was real or not, but seeing you leave nearly killed me. That's all the proof I need that not only is this real, but I can't fucking live without you." Lifting her hands to my lips, I began to plead, and didn't feel any shame about it. "Please, don't make me do life without you, Novi."
Noonie was silent, too fucking silent, but since she wasn't running away, I took it as a good sign. I used my finger to trace a line across her cheek. I swiped away the tear that slipped out a second later. I got ready to say more when she finally responded.
"I was at home trying to pack up my things, but I couldn't get you off my mind. I didn't want to leave you earlier, but I thought it was what you wanted."
I shook my head. "Never. You are what I want."
I never knew I could be this vulnerable. That's how I knew Noonie was right for me. She made me human again. I hadn't felt this many emotions in a long time. It was long overdue to return to the land of the living.
"What do you love about me?"
I laughed with a shake of my head. "I love the way you talk to yourself when you're cleaning to help clear your mind. I love the way you're not afraid to go after what you want. I love that even throughout being held captive, you still pursued your dreams of starting a business. I love that you love to cater to me. I love that I was your first. I love that your nose crinkles when you smile. I love that you wear that bracelet no matter what you're doing. I love that you love me, flaws and all."
Noonie's bottom lip poked out. "Aww, you're going to make me cry." She sniffled and dropped her head back, trying to keep her tears in. When she looked back at me, she asked, "So, where do we go from here?"
"Marry me," I declared without a second thought.
Her mouth fell open in shock. "H-huh? Marry you?"
I nodded so she'd know I was serious. "You're it for me, Knovah. If we're going to make it official, then I want to go all the way. I want a nigga to know you're off limits until your last breath. I want people to know that you're mine. So, what do you say?"