Chapter 5
Rani
I could still hear it. More than two miles away, up on a third-floor balcony, surrounded by land and what Ezra called ‘fucking impenetrable wards,’, and still I heard the sea.
Smelled it even. Although that was maybe more from the dried salt on my skin and the few strands of my hair the breeze pulled free.
The first thing I did upon arriving was steal one of Eryn’s many hair ties.
With my long, ruby strands once again tied up, I was able to focus on more important matters.
Like how the hell I was going to get out of here and what I was going to do about the damn siren bell I’d barely managed to turn off.
It was too late for denial. I had magick—I’d felt it—but that didn’t mean I had to use it.
Or acknowledge it. That flaming ball of power in my gut wouldn’t control me.
I spent the whole ride from campus forcing it deep down inside me.
Burying it far under my fear and rage. No one mentioned me glowing anymore, so it must have worked.
Good. Maybe if I ignored it long enough, it would evaporate and leave me the fuck alone.
I didn’t want it. Any of it. Not my once dream school by the sea or the dream job in the same sea.
Not the best friend with magick or her broody boyfriend.
And definitely not his cousin, who saw too much and whose mere presence pulled at something in my chest that left me aching for hours.
I didn’t fucking ask for any of this!
My never-ending supply of rage rose inside me once more, and with nothing to distract me from it, I fell into its hypnotizing embrace. I couldn’t be hurt here. I was powerful and strong. Nothing would dare touch me.
A flutter in my stomach warned me a second before I heard the sliding door open. He didn’t have to speak for me to know my time of quiet contemplation was over. Honestly, I was surprised he lasted this long.
“Kind of hard to plan the summer without you there.” Ezra’s tanned arms leaned on the railing beside me. The picture of confidence. “Don’t you want to know what we’re getting up to?”
“There's no need. I’m going home for the summer.” I turned my back on him and walked inside.
I already knew he was frowning, and the adorable wrinkle it put on his forehead wasn’t going to tempt me to change my mind. Not today. The cool air conditioning raised goosebumps along my arms, and I tried rubbing them away.
Kai and Eryn stood in the living room, quietly arguing about something before suspiciously going silent at my approach. Kai’s mouth was set in a firm line, typical for him, and Eryn looked at me with something akin to regret. My stomach churned.
Ezra closed the door and once again stepped beside me, closer than before. Fuck. Something was wrong. Oh God. Was it the djinn? Were they back on campus? My palms began to sweat. I knew I couldn’t have been the cause of all the crazy today.
“Somebody better tell me what’s going on, right now, before I start thinking the worst,” I demanded, and Eryn flinched. I felt the blood draining from my face. “It’s the djinn, isn’t it?”
Kai’s brows rose. “What? No, it’s not the—”
“Well, it kind of is,” Eryn interrupted.
I staggered, and Ezra threw an arm out to catch me.
Static stung where his fingertips met my skin, but I didn’t care.
They were back and I was as good as dead.
Cold dread sank into my limbs until they grew so heavy I could barely stand.
Then the shaking started. I knew I was angry and bitter and completely undeserving of my second chance, but I really didn’t want to die. Not again.
“Fucking hell, guys! What was that?” The voice sounded like it came from the other end of a long tunnel, and I couldn’t tell who it belonged to.
A large shadow blotted out my field of vision. It was topped with blond hair so pale it was almost white, and the contrast was enough for me to notice. I gasped in a breath before instinctively holding it again. Who knew when my next one might be?
“Rani,” that frantic voice called from the other side of the panic currently strangling me. “Baby, you need to breathe.”
Warm fingers wrapped around my hand, and the little sparks of contact loosened some of the tendrils around my neck.
“Come on. You can do it.”
My hand was pressed against a solid surface.
Something warm and safe. I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but a part of me wanted to get closer.
Panic’s grip loosened even more as my fingers curled to try and hold on to that lifeline.
It moved beneath my palm, a steady rise and fall with a melodic thump-thump .
“That’s it, baby. That’s it. Just follow me.”
Rise and fall. Up and down.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump .
The shadows only clung to the edge of my vision now. In front of me, Ezra held my hand to his chest while whispering small encouragements.
“Can’t… breathe,” I stuttered, fearing the panic that still hovered over me like a knife. It wanted me, I knew. But it wouldn’t get me without a fight.
“Yes, you can,” Ezra argued. “You’re doing it now.”
I shook my head. Breathing was supposed to be easy.
It wasn’t a fight for each lungful of air.
How could I be doing it so wrong? He cupped my neck, clueless to the tingling his touch left in its wake, and pressed on my jaw with his thumb until I looked up.
Icy determination met my gaze, and I knew then that Ezra wasn’t going to let the panic have me either.
“You will breathe,” he declared, and then smirked. “Because I said so.”
A part of me balked at the idea of doing something just because he told me to. Another part flew into a rage at the pure audacity of this man to think he could command me out of a panic attack. As his smirk deepened, so did my fury.
“Fuck-ing… assssshole.” The words were reedy and weak, but I had a few choice more saved for him.
“You ain’t seen nothing yet, babe. Just wait until I tell you our plans for the summer.”
My eyes widened, finally chasing away the tunnel vision and shadows. The absolute balls of this guy.
“Like that, did you?” he crowed. “Good, because the next three months are just going to be you and me and a fancy beach house by the sea.”
That was it. I drew in a deep breath and clutched his shirt hard enough for my nails to scrape his skin below. Tugging him forward, I met his daring stare with one of my own.
“Like hell.”
I pushed him away, and he stumbled into the dining table with a laugh.
“Now, is that any way to say thank you?” he teased and tried to straighten the wrinkles my fists made in his shirt.
A quick glance around the room showed Kai and Eryn warily watching from the side. Any other time, I would be mortified at knowing they witnessed one of my attacks. Having my weakness on display was a surefire way to send me spiraling again… if it weren’t for the rage.
I double-fisted that shit and rode it all the way past outrage and mortification. Choosing to focus on Ezra’s words instead, I pretended like I hadn’t almost wheezed my way into passing out and glared at all of them.
“I. Am. Going. Home.”
It was done. Decided.
Ezra chuckled and sauntered over to stand before me once more. “Respectfully, babe, no, you’re not.”
My fingers curled into fists, and I growled, but before I could step forward and break his perfect nose, Eryn darted between us with her hands raised.
“Why don’t we all talk about it first?” she pleaded.
“There's nothing to talk about,” I told her. “I’m getting the fuck out of here. I want to go home .” My voice cracked on the last word, but I held it together.
“Unfortunately, that’s not possible right now.”
Kai’s tone was firm, but not unkind. It was the voice of someone very used to getting their way. Which, I guess, made sense, considering who he was.
“I’m not one of your witches, Kai. You can’t tell me what to do.”
And it wasn’t fair for him to expect me to follow the rules of a society I was forced into and knew next to nothing about.
“No,” he argued. “But you are my friend, and I care about your safety.”
“We all do,” Eryn added.
My anger deflated a little. There was true worry in Eryn’s gaze. Something was going on that I didn’t yet understand. I wasn’t sure it gave them the right to make decisions for me, but I was willing to hear them out. I wasn’t completely stupid. I knew it had something to do with the djinn.
Jaw clenched, I gave Kai a small nod for him to explain.
“There’s no easy or gentle way to put this,” he said. “You’re in danger, and the longer you stay unfamiliar with your magick, the worse it will become.”
Got to say, I wasn’t expecting that. It was widely better than hearing people were still out to kill me, but only marginally. At least, I think I finally figured out how to shut my glow off on my own. I totally had this control thing in the bag.
“Well, as you can see, I no longer resemble a party favor, so I think it’s safe to say I’m now familiar.” I even gave a little spin to show that not a single glimmer was hiding.
Ezra’s scoff made the urge to punch him return with a vengeance, but once again, Eryn saved his pretty face from my violent tendencies.
“That’s great, except…” She started, then stopped. Worrying her bottom lip, she looked to Kai for help, but he shook his head.
I rolled my eyes. “Just spit it out.”
She looked wounded by my tone, but straightened and let the rest spill. “You don’t even know how you triggered the siren call, so you can’t truly know if you have it under control. What if something sets you off? And I saw what you did to the dorm bathroom…”
She let the words hang in the air, along with all the implications they fueled. The others nodded, and I felt my summer of freedom slipping away.
“The risk of your control slipping while you’re this new is too high,” Kai continued. “It wouldn’t be safe for you anywhere among the humans. Not for a while.”
I swallowed past the growing lump in my throat. Going home was the only thing that’s kept me sane these past few weeks. To have it ripped away… It was enough to crush me.
“So, I’m never allowed to go home?”
It was unfathomable. How did I even explain that? I shook my head, adamantly against the idea of staying on this campus for one more minute, let alone three months. Ezra’s hand was a grounding warmth on my shoulder, and for once, he wasn’t smirking.
“How would you feel if your parents turned into those frenzied zombies trying to get to you?” His eyes radiated pity, but he was right.
“I’d never forgive myself.”
Just imagining them screeching and clawing their way to me made me shudder. I never wanted to see that. Where did that leave me, though? In my dorm or at the sorority house? That didn’t sound any safer.
“Kai and I have to return to the tribunal so I can officially meet his mother and be sworn in to the family.” Eryn stuck her tongue out with a frown. “But my parents will be there too to meet my bonded and be welcomed back into the fold.”
She grabbed Kai’s hand and looked up at him with such love that my own heart cracked with envy. Especially because it sounded like everyone else was getting away from here but me. At my obviously morose expression, Eryn tried to reassure me.
“Oh, we’ll come back as soon as we can, but there’s a lot of responsibilities to tackle before we’re gone again for the next school year. Mainly clean up from the djinn… butyoudon’thavetoworryaboutthat!”
“My mother has my agenda packed full of boring meetings and trivial requests from greedy faction members trying to work their way into my family’s good graces,” Kai added, trying to smooth over Eryn’s blunder.
They both cringed, but I couldn’t muster any sympathy. At least they got to fucking leave.
“Do me a favor and don’t let your mother replace me in one of those meetings,” Ezra joked, but the corner of his mouth was pinched with worry. “You know she’s been dying to.”
“Mother knows these are extenuating circumstances.” Kai’s gaze briefly flicked to me. “The law is on your side, and you have a valid excuse to take a break from duty.”
The room was suddenly tense once more as I tried to understand what they were saying. Even though they were cousins, Kai was the heir of the witches, and Ezra worked for him. Protected him. That much I knew. So, what did he mean by a break from duty?
“You’re not going with them?”
Ezra turned to me, lips curled in that infuriating smug grin of his, and my heart stopped. “I told you, babe. You. Me. Fancy beach house. Ring a bell?”
“Absolutely the fuck not,” I snarled.
Being left behind was bad enough. Not being able to go home was worse. But to be stuck here, with him the entire time? I would jump from the cliffs myself.
“Who did you think was going to help you learn control?” He asked, enjoying my torment.
“Someone who won’t be too busy fucking everything with legs?” I deadpanned, and that grin turned sinister.
“Jealous?”
I sneered and crossed my arms to hide my uneven breathing. “As if.”
“I will send a siren tutor,” Kai cut in, with a glare at his cousin. “One we can trust.”
“I don’t trust anyone .”
The silence that followed was uncomfortable, as if everyone was waiting for me to take it back. But I wouldn’t. It was the truth, and sometimes she was a bitch.