Chapter 6 #2
My bag was significantly lighter now that the larger crystals were buried, but there were still midway directions left to complete.
Each step was harder to take as I pulled the line of power connecting each crystal, as well as their intentions, with me.
Pain radiated from my knees and into my thighs as I slammed into the ground.
With quick and precise digs, I unearthed the smaller clear quartz and amethysts, then buried the new ones to form the grid line for north-east. South-east, south-west, and north-west followed promptly until the grid was complete.
I was a shaking, sweaty mess by the end, but the barrier crackled around me with renewed strength.
I set the bag of used crystals by the front porch to begin their cleanse with the sunrise.
There was something peaceful about creating wards, and the greeting of the silent house as I closed the front door was gentle.
It was almost as if the house took a giant sigh of relief, or maybe that was me.
Knowing Rani was safe allowed me to breathe.
Too soon, some other worry would rise to the surface of my mind, but tonight it was enough.
Until an uneasy twinge punctured the peace of the house.
I rubbed at the center of my chest. It was weak, more a feeling of unease than danger, but it was out of place within the newly laid crystals.
When it happened again, I knew it came from inside the house, and I took the stairs three at a time until I stood outside Rani’s room.
Muffled sounds and brief whimpers carried through the thin door.
I eased it open with a racing heart. If she wasn’t in danger right now, I was about to be for busting in without her permission.
It was one line I refused to cross, no matter how volatile she got; when she retreated to her room, I didn’t follow unless she asked.
From my view at the door, all I could make out was the massive four-poster bed in the center. The gauzy curtains were still tied back, giving me a direct line of sight to the middle of the mattress where Rani tossed and turned. Restless and fitful, the small cries that escaped her tore at my heart.
“Rani,” I whispered from the doorway, still unsure if I should cross the threshold.
I wanted nothing more than to rush in there, gather her in my arms, and silence those heartrending sounds. To comfort her. Protect her, even from the nightmares plaguing her. I wasn’t an idiot. Even if Eryn hadn’t told me, I could clearly see my bond was stuck in a permanent state of exhaustion.
She went to sleep early, but still woke with the darkest circles under her eyes.
No matter what I cooked, she barely touched her food, and it was starting to show in the looseness of her clothes.
I worried she was going to crash soon. Carrying all that anger had to be taxing, and she was ignoring her magick on top of it.
I shook my head and risked a small step into the room.
Her pain hit me even harder the closer I got, like she couldn’t hide it when there wasn’t an entire house and walls of her ire separating us.
Our bond was still in its fledgling stages; there wasn’t enough physical contact lately for it to grow, but our emotional connection was enough to allow me to feel her sometimes.
When she let it. Or didn’t realize her walls were down.
Sometimes, in those moments, I looked into her eyes and saw the other half of me looking out. I wondered if she felt it too, but usually within seconds, she was pushing me away and lashing out, leaving me to wonder if the fleeting exchange was even real.
The sheets twisted and knotted around her legs until they exposed pale, creamy skin.
The moonlight through the half-closed curtains danced over a generous flash of calf and thigh, her skin sparkling like the very crystals I just finished burying.
She was glowing again. Proving another theory of mine that her magick found a way to escape her binds when she wasn’t conscious.
Dangerous. For her and anyone close enough to fall under her unintended spell.
I knew it was something she needed to work on, despite her protests that she had it all under control.
I’d been letting out small bursts of my own magick for days now, to see how she would react and also to try and get her used to the feel of it.
I remembered her flinches all too vividly, and it practically killed me each time she did it.
I thought we were making progress. I froze an entire shelf in the pantry today, and she barely even blinked.
Her magick didn’t rise to meet mine like it should have, but at least she wasn’t terrified anymore.
Maybe she was more desensitized than over it.
She was obviously suppressing her power, and unfortunately, this was the outcome.
Her nightmares would only grow stronger as her body and mind fought enemies on two fronts.
When her whimpers turned into groans and then soft screams, I knew I couldn't let her go on like this.
She might kill me for invading her privacy or seeing her in such a vulnerable state, but I couldn’t walk away. Her pain was a thorn in my chest, throbbing and sinking deeper and deeper with each tug of the blankets in her clenched fists.
“Hey, hey, shhh,” I whispered, easing myself across the cool hardwood until I stood beside the large bed. “Rani, baby, it's just a dream.”
She clutched the side of the mattress, her eyes rolling behind tightened lids.
I caught brief flashes of white as if she could see her tormentors physically hovering over her.
Dropping to my knees, I brought us face to face.
Up close, the physical proof of her suffering was even more clear, and my voice came out a little rougher than I wanted.
“They can’t have you,” I told her, gently prying her fingers from the wrinkled comforter. They quickly squeezed my hand instead. “Tell them they have to go through me first. Tell them how I will destroy anyone who dares to touch you.”
I didn’t know what I was doing. When someone needed comforting, it wasn’t usual to offer them threats of violence against their enemies instead, but that’s what I found myself saying.
Over and over again, I told her how I’d protect her.
I swore to stand between her and the world.
I promised my magick and my loyalty. I came all too close to renouncing my vows to my cousin and swearing them to her instead.
Whether or not she actually understood what I said, her thrashing eased until only the tension in her muscles told me she wasn’t at peace quite yet.
“You don’t need me fighting this battle for you, baby, I’ve seen your fury, remember? Chase those demons the fuck out of there and come back to me. I’m right here.”
Her hand squeezed mine, an involuntary reflex, but I answered with a brush of my thumb across her skin. Slowly, so slowly, her face smoothed into a mask of calm, and her grip on my fingers stopped cutting off circulation. Her body sank into the mattress, and she exhaled in relief.
Throughout it all, she didn’t wake once.
I wasn’t sure if it was my words or my presence that calmed her, or if I was giving myself too much credit altogether, and the nightmare had run its course.
Gently, I eased a small piece of hematite from my pocket.
The crystal was used for a lot of things—courage, healing, will power, protection—and I willed all of those into existence before sliding it beneath her pillow.
I hoped it held off her nightmares. I hoped it brought her peace.
Fuck, I hoped it gave her the strength to find the girl she used to be.
The one Eryn told me whacked a djinn in the head with a rock to save her.
The same girl that threatened me on a daily basis when she thought I kidnapped her best friend.
I hoped she found her courage and that I was here to see it.
Even if I wasn’t, I needed to believe that she would be okay.
And that wasn’t the bond talking. That was me ; the fucked up, unworthy, half-human witch who was already a little bit in love with her.
A crystal wasn’t going to fix everything; it needed to come from her, but I swore to the gods right then and there that I would do everything in my power to help.
I settled on the hard floor, back against the dresser, and let out a small groan when the blood rushed back to my knees.
Our joined hands hung over the side of the bed, but I didn’t let go.
It was uncomfortable as fuck, and yet I knew I was about to get the best sleep I’d ever had in my life.
I fell asleep to the sound of her breathing and hoped I woke before she did.
Otherwise, all the freshly curated peace in this house wouldn’t save me from her wrath.
Worth it.