Chapter 7 #2
“Don’t be ashamed.” He winked. “I’m open to trying everything once.”
Dear fucking lord.
“I’m sure you are.”
I moved around him to rinse my bowl and place it in the dishwasher. He flopped across the granite with a dramatic sigh. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”
Bouncing up with enough energy to power a truck, he followed me to the other side of the island and began…
inspecting . My toes curled on the cool kitchen tile as his eyes touched on every part of me: my collarbone, shoulders, hips, my bare legs.
When he was focused like this—hair out of his eyes, arms crossed, brows lowered, bottom lip trapped between his teeth—his scrutiny was a little hot. Though he’d never hear me admit it.
“If we’re not going to play, then it's time to get to work,” he said, plucking my tank top. “This will do. Follow me.”
I frowned at my cotton shorts and top, sleepwear really, and curiously followed him out the back door. I hadn’t seen much of the property since arriving, just what I noticed through the windows, and I was unaware that there was a pool in the backyard.
I froze as Ezra casually passed it, plans of how he wanted to teach me to defend myself falling from his lips. When he didn’t stop at the patio and disappeared around the side of the house, I let out the breath I’d been holding and quickly scampered after him.
Sweat dotted my hairline, and it had nothing to do with the warm weather. There was so much water. So deep. So close . Images of me falling inside and being sucked to the bottom flooded my mind, despite knowing that I had no plans to go anywhere near that pool.
“Are you listening?” Ezra called, standing next to a stationary punching bag.
I walked up to it, my face stuck in a scrunched frown as I wondered what I was about to get myself into now.
“I don't know much about siren powers,” he admitted. “Or how to teach you control of them. That’s why Kai is sending a tutor. But I can show you how to defend yourself without magick… if you’re interested.”
Fuck yes. Anything that kept me from being helpless was something I wanted to know how to do. If he had whipped out a cadaver from the school’s body lab and told me he was going to teach me how to stab someone to death on it, I’d jump on that with zero hesitation, too.
I met his stare and smiled, a true one that I hadn’t felt on my lips in weeks. “I’m so fucking interested.”
He nodded, serious. “It’s not going to be easy. But if you can harness all that anger inside you, it just might be enough to make a difference.”
Whatever. Maybe this could help me control the rage, but I wanted to know more about how it would keep me from dying. Ezra held his hand up in front of me and showed me how it curled into a proper fist. I watched carefully and tried to mimic the exact position of his fingers.
My nails cut into my palms and he taught me how to curl my knuckles tighter to avoid it. Thumb untucked and wrist straight, I opened and closed my fist a few times until I got the hang of it.
“Good. Now, when you land your hit, it needs to be these two knuckles that make contact. Otherwise, you’ll break your hand.”
His warm finger gently brushed over the first two knuckles while his other hand wrapped around my wrist. The scent of something crisp, like fresh snow, clouded my senses as he moved behind me, pressing his chest to my back and lining up his arm with mine.
“Twist from the hips,” he instructed. His lips grazed my ear, and I couldn’t hold back my shiver. “That’s where all your power will come from.” Slowly, he brought my fist to the bag and pressed until the correct knuckles were making contact. “Like that.”
Over and over he showed me; his fingers around my wrist and on my opposite hip.
Each time we punched, his waist turned with mine.
There was something intimate about being this close with no sexual intention, despite how I might be reacting.
I easily molded into him until I could throw the punch on my own and it was his body following mine.
Caged in his arms, I didn’t feel angry. There were no screaming voices in my head, no exhaustion pulling at my limbs. No fire in my heart telling me I wasn’t worth it. I felt safe. Protected. Capable.
Until he stepped away, and all the negative feelings I’d been trying to bury suddenly fought for a spot at the surface. There was a question in my eyes as he moved to stand beside me, but I wasn’t brave enough to voice it. I lifted a brow instead, ever the girl with attitude.
“Let loose,” he said, gesturing toward the bag. “Unleash yourself.”
I didn’t realize it was the permission I was waiting for.
All my anger was wrapped in guilt and shame.
It was the djinn who started me on the path that led to what I was now, but I was the one who was caught.
I hadn’t fought hard enough. Hadn’t fought smart enough.
I didn’t escape. I was weak and helpless and so out of my league that I couldn’t stop the water from closing in over my head.
And when She came for me? I wasn’t brave, and I wasn’t strong. I begged. I pleaded and cried and promised whatever She wanted in return for saving me. I gave it all away, every part of me, just to live. Even my soul.
Never again.
Pulling back, I let my fists fly. First one and then the other. Left. Right. Left. Right. I pounded the fuck out of that bag and imagined every face from my nightmares in the dead center. My back grew slick with sweat, and my biceps screamed. My thighs trembled, and even my abs screamed in protest.
Still, I didn’t stop. I wasn’t even sure I could at this point. The rage I’d spent the whole day keeping in check was wide awake and very interested in all the big thoughts swirling around my brain. My knuckles burned and stung.
I didn’t care.
Left. Right. Left. Right.
Never. Ever . Again.