Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
Shae’s List of Life Goals
4. Catch up on all the awesome anime I missed since I was a kid.
(Addendum: Maybe watch them together with Wolf Boy.)
Shae
“Don’t think that way, Shae,” Wolf Boy pleads. “This is your home.”
I stare at him. He’s fighting back a fresh round of tears and looking at me like my words have ripped his heart out.
I glance away and mumble, “I’ll think about it.”
“Calm down, Griff,” Dallas says in that deep voice of his. He turns his attention to me. “I understand why you might feel trapped, Shae. But there are ways we can protect you when you leave the compound. We won’t force you to stay here all the time, but you will need one of us with you whenever you want to go out for a while.”
Something unclenches in me. “Okay. I can handle that.”
Dallas strokes his beard, his eyes distant. “I think our first task is going to be reaching out to the Silverstorm sept. It’s very likely you have relatives who have been looking for you for a long time.”
Part of me wants to flat-out deny it. Early on after my mother had died, I’d longed for her family to come and rescue me. I waited day after day, but eventually I gave up. For years, I felt deeply bitter toward them. They couldn’t have cared much if they never came looking for either of us. But as I got older, I had to wonder if that was in fact the case. Knowing my father and stepmonster, they could have easily thwarted any attempts at contact that my mother’s family might have tried to make.
Dallas studies me, noticing my expression. “Would that be all right with you? If we reach out to them?”
“I suppose. Honestly, I don’t remember any of them. I met my grandmother once, but most of the sept stay on their island and don’t venture to the mainland often. My mother was a bit eccentric that way.”
Wolf Boy reaches over again and rubs my back.
I should hate it.
I should jerk away from his touch and tell him to piss off.
But I can’t.
There’s something about Wolf Boy’s hand on me that’s warm and soothing in a way that plays on every single one of my vulnerabilities, leaving me unwilling to turn away from his touch.
Ruby clears her throat, a faint flush to her cheeks as she darts a gaze between me and Emma. “Can I ask, uh, how you two met?”
A look of pure shame falls over Emma’s face. I know she feels guilty about this even though she really shouldn’t.
“I… I was hired by Margaret.”
Everyone stares at her in silence.
Emma bravely continues. “I was having trouble finding work because I never attended a magic academy. My family didn’t have the money for that.”
Ruby’s eyes widen. “You mean you’re a self-taught Potion Master?”
“Mostly. I did some short apprenticeships with a few Potion Masters, but that still didn’t help me land any stable employment.”
Ruby sighs. “There’s an unfortunate degree of snobbery in certain magical communities.”
“No shit,” Emma says. “Anyway, I was just what Margaret was looking for. A Potion Master who wasn’t registered with the main guild. Someone she could hire who wouldn’t be easy to trace and who no one would be keeping tabs on.”
Ruby reaches over and takes hold of Emma’s hand, giving it a squeeze.
My friend’s cheeks flush and her eyes dart away, but she doesn’t let go.
“Em was hired to provide recovery potions to keep me going when the exhaustion from the collar would become too much,” I explain.
Wolf Boy inhales sharply and his tail stops thumping against my leg.
Emma looks down. “I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t really pay much attention to the contract I signed. By the time I joined the household and learned what was really going on, I was stuck and couldn’t easily back out. I couldn’t do much to help Shae even though I tried.” She lifts her head. “Needless to say, I got in serious trouble for protesting Shae’s treatment and was eventually let go. However, the NDA I signed made it impossible for me to report anything, and my life was threatened just in case I thought otherwise.” Emma scowls. “Margaret has some powerful people who do her bidding, and I was placed under surveillance.”
“How were you able to help Shae then?” Cal asks.
Emma grins. “Never underestimate a Potion Master.”
Ruby perks up. “Ooh! I want to hear this one.”
“Well,” Emma says with a smirk, “first you need to realize that not all potions have to be ingested. There’s a lot that can be aerosolized and still made to be quite effective.”
“Tell me more,” Ruby purrs, leaning closer to her.
“I watched for a few weeks and quickly realized that it was a two-man team that would constantly stake out my apartment or follow me whenever I left. As Shae and I made our plans?—”
“Thanks to me!” Haku exclaims with pride, extending his wings and doing a full-body shimmy.
Emma smiles. “Yes, thanks to Haku secretly leaving the estate and exchanging handwritten messages between me and Shae, we were able to formulate our plan. Last night, before I left to help Shae, I climbed out the fire escape of my building and circled around to where the car with the duo watching me was parked. When I knocked on their window, one of them foolishly rolled it down and BAM! I sprayed them with some of my famous knockout potion.” Her grin becomes sharklike. “Worked like a charm. They were out in an instant and I hightailed it to pick up Shae.”
“Em had managed to secret out some necessary items to help me escape my prison cell on the estate and was able to give them to Haku, who covertly brought them back to me.” I shake my head. “It was a risky gambit, but I had to try it. I was relying on Em in ways I’d never done with anyone before.” I reach over and squeeze her hand. “Thank you.”
Emma gives me a watery smile. “I know I talk a good game, but I was scared shitless. Still, I couldn’t just sit back and leave you to suffer.”
“You were very brave,” Ruby says as she strokes Emma’s arm.
I can’t hold back an inward smile because I have a feeling those two might be an item before long. The chemistry is clearly mutual from the looks of things.
“Shae was very brave too,” Wolf Boy pipes up, puffing out his chest.
I’m rather moved that he wants to speak up for me even though he doesn’t really have to.
“I don’t know about brave,” I admit. “Mostly, I was driven by sheer desperation. I’d reached my limit and I didn’t know how much longer I could handle being a prisoner bound to serve Margaret and her daughter. I had to get out before either I lost my mind or she broke me to the point of no return.”
The very thought is terrifying now, but a part of me deep down knew I was close to losing it altogether if I didn’t get free.
Wolf Boy reaches out and strokes my hair again, ignoring Haku, who hisses at him with displeasure. His big amber eyes are clear and bright as they focus on me. “You were brave,” he repeats with conviction. “So very brave. I’m proud to call you my mate.”
I stiffen and look away. “I can’t?—”
He cuts me off with a bright smile. “It’s okay. You need time. I won’t rush you. And I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want. But I hope you’ll let me stay by your side and help you. No matter what you decide, you will always be the most important person in this world to me, and I want to help keep you safe. To help you find your happiness. Please,” he says earnestly, “let me stay by your side.”
I swallow back the sarcastic retort that starts to form on my tongue.
I want to push him away, but there’s something about the sincerity radiating off him that I can’t bring myself to destroy. Instead, I remain silent, neither denying nor affirming his request.
It doesn’t seem to bother him as he continues to stroke my hair in a way that reminds me of my mother. She used to do the same thing for me when I was a child and needed comfort. I’d somehow forgotten that sensation until now, but Wolf Boy’s tender actions rekindle long-lost memories.
Already emotionally drained from telling my awful story and overwhelmed by everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, I feel myself starting to shut down.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, “but I need to end this conversation now. This is all a lot for me to process.”
“Of course, sweetie,” Ruby says. “You’ve been through some serious trauma, and we made you relive things you probably didn’t want to remember. We have enough information now to start looking for any living family on your mother’s side.”
“And we should be able to better protect you now that we know who we’re dealing with,” Dallas says.
“I think we should look into a therapist for Shae,” Wolf Boy says, continuing to stroke my hair in a manner that’s almost hypnotic.
I start to protest, but he leans in close and my breath catches as his face stops scant inches from mine. “You’ve been through so much. Therapy can help you process and deal with what was done to you. It can help you start to heal.” He bridges that tiny gap between us and rests his forehead against mine. “Trust me. I speak from experience. It helped me.”
That gives me pause.
Mr. Golden Retriever Wolf Boy Made of Sunshine and Smiles needed therapy? I want to ask him about it but don’t think this is the time or the place.
“Agreed,” Dallas says. “We’ll work on finding you a therapist in the Otherkind community who can help. We’ve done this for a number of other folks we’ve rescued. Of course, we won’t force you, but we want to encourage you to at least give it a try.”
I grant him a reluctant nod and then yawn. Even though I slept most of the day away, the heavy weight of exhaustion is descending on me again. With mumbled excuses, I drag my body upstairs, each step feeling like I’m climbing an insurmountable mountain.
When I finally make it to my room, I open the balcony doors to let the fresh sea air waft in and then flop down on the bed. I drag the comforter over me and melt into the cloud-like mattress that cradles me. Haku curls up on the pillow beside my head and we settle in as I allow myself to weep for all that I’ve lost. He sings one of his little songs to me until my tears run dry and I fall into a restless sleep.
A scream tears from my throat as my eyes fly open, and I sit bolt upright in bed, sweating profusely, my whole body shaking.
“Shae, it’s okay. You were having a nightmare.”
I blink the fog of my terror-filled sleep from my mind and stare at Wolf Boy sitting beside me on the bed, a worried look on his handsome face.
Oddly enough, Haku is pacing on the bed next to him.
“Master, I tried to wake you but you wouldn’t! I was worried.”
Wolf Boy looks down at Haku with a kind smile. “This little guy came and woke me up, then brought me to you.” He reaches out and pets Haku on his head. “Good job, buddy.”
Surprisingly, Haku only grunts in irritation but doesn’t brush off his hand.
Did they bond while I was out of it?
Wolf Boy returns his attention to me, his expression turning serious. “You were crying and writhing around on the bed. It seemed like you were in the throes of a pretty terrible dream.”
I swallow thickly, my throat dry from the horrible nightmare.
I had dreamed about that night.
The night my father murdered my mother.
I run a shaky hand through my hair, finding my scalp damp with sweat. I hadn’t had that dream for a long time. Clearly bringing up the past when talking with Dallas and his team earlier resurrected some long-buried memories I didn’t want to revisit.
“May I hold you?” Wolf Boy asks tentatively, biting his lip so that hint of his toothy canines shows again.
How can he be so freaking cute at a time like this?
I stare at him, a battle raging inside me. Part of me wants to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone, let me wallow in my misery. It’s how I’ve handled things since I was ten years old. But for some reason, the words won’t come. The other part of me holds them back and wants to indulge in whatever temporary comfort he can offer.
Wolf Boy flashes a beautiful smile. “No strings attached, I promise. Just platonic cuddles.” His smile fades. “I’m really worried about you.”
How bizarre. I don’t know the last time anyone was worried about me.
“Will you let me comfort you?” he asks, his tail wagging slowly and uncertainly. Then he tilts his head and studies me, his big, pointy fluffy ears swiveling as he waits and listens.
Maybe if I just think of him as a big stuffed animal to cuddle, I could do this?
“I don’t know,” I finally manage to say, choking out the words, every nerve ending in my body still raw after the godawful nightmare I couldn’t wake from.
He reaches out a big, tan hand and takes hold of mine, intertwining our fingers together. I stare at our joined hands blankly.
“How does this feel?”
Truthfully, I don’t really have words to describe it. There’s something about this man’s touch that calms me but also sends a strange current of awareness coursing through my entire body.
Is it all his empathic abilities?
He called us fated mates.
No. I don’t even want to contemplate that notion.
I roughly shove it aside in my mind.
“It’s okay, I guess.” My tone is brusque but it doesn’t seem to bother him.
He chuckles. “Why don’t we lie down and cuddle?”
I hesitate, disturbed by the fact that a huge part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and say yes to this proposal.
I’m so used to retreating within, closing myself off when things get hard. For so long, the only person I could rely on was myself.
He holds up his hands innocently. “Perfectly platonic, I promise.” His features tighten in concern as he reaches out and strokes the hair back from my face. “You’re tired and you need rest. Let me help you. You’re safe with me.”
I can’t deny his first point. It’s as if I’ve just finished a marathon I didn’t train for and I’m a physical and emotional wreck. That nightmare, on top of everything else I’ve been through in the last day, wrang a lot out of me.
As for being safe with him, my brain is still undecided, but my gut is telling me to trust him. With cuddles, at least. It’s a big reassurance to discover Haku doesn’t immediately naysay this suggestion either. If he’s giving Wolf Boy his approval, then I feel like I can too.
For tonight anyway.
Eventually, I scoot closer to the wall and lie down. He joins me, flashing that adorable dimple again as he grins, like I’m the present under the Christmas tree that he’s been waiting to open all year.
“No inappropriate touching,” I tell him.
His tail flaps against the bed, making a repetitive thumping noise, and his ears twitch. “I swear on my life.”
“Swear on your balls,” I grumble. “’Cuz I’ll rip them off if you try anything.”
He laughs. “Duly noted, babe.”
I ignore the endearment and turn my back to him. Very slowly and carefully, he curls his body around mine. He’s bigger than me and so deliciously warm. Wrapped in his arms like this, I can almost imagine I’m safe, cocooned from the world around me.
“Let my Super Charged Surfer Scent work its soothing magic,” he says.
I snort softly. “So that’s what SCSS means…”
He nuzzles my hair and I yawn.
His yummy coconut scent seems to be doing a damn good job already because my eyelids are heavy once more and I hear sleep calling my name.
Haku settles on the pillow beside my head again and curls himself into a ball.
With the two of them protecting me from either side, my body relaxes even farther, my mind clears, and I drift off into slumber—knowing that for now, in this moment, I’m as safe as I’m likely to get.