Chapter 33 Bunny - Three Months Later
Three months later
“We never should have left, baby girl. I’m sorry I took you away from your daddy, but if you can please just wait a little longer…” A sharp pain blooms low in my belly, effectively cutting off my words.
Faline’s displeasure has been obvious since I vanished in the middle of the night three months ago. This last trimester has been the worst, and now she’s trying to make her appearance a couple of weeks early.
I broke.
It’s been hard enough—leaving the way I did, having no contact with Hunter or even Dove, leaving Yasha and Maru in their care. I’m the worst dog mom ever. How am I supposed to be a good mother to an actual baby?
Gripping the railing, I haul myself up another stair. I don’t remember there being so many leading up to Hunter’s door—or maybe it’s because I’m now toting around a melon-sized human. My vagina throbs, the pressure nearly unbearable, but I power through the urge to sit and breathe.
Faline is coming, and my need to have Hunter with me outweighs my need to go to the hospital.
It was a mistake to flee. I knew it when I left, and I’ve had an angry little reminder every day since.
The last three months have been agonizing—never staying anywhere long enough to get caught, never roaming too far in case something happened with the baby. Not only will Hunter be furious, but when he finds out I’ve never been more than a few hours away…
Focusing on my breathing, I tackle the last four steps and pause on the stoop, leaning into the railing. It feels like Faline is about to explode out of my lower body. My kitty will be absolutely destroyed after this. How do women do this multiple times?
A soft growl filters through the door, followed by a deeper one. I’d know them anywhere. Why does Hunter have the dogs? I asked Dove to take them.
Praying they don’t cause a commotion, I slip my key into the lock and open the door.
Warnings flip to excited yips. I hush them, not wanting to wake Hunter this way—if he’s even asleep at all. It’s the middle of the night, but who knows with him…
He might not even be here.
Thoughts of him spending late nights at work with Gwendolyn slam through my mind, sluicing icy-hot rage through my veins. He’s well within his rights. I fucked everything up by leaving.
Even if I regretted it the second I landed in another state.
Valid reasons or not, what I did was bad. I killed people. Sure, they might have deserved it, but it’s still murder. I can’t cherry-pick bad behavior. I don’t know what would have happened if I’d stayed, but I know Hunter wouldn’t have put me behind bars until after Faline was born.
As much as I don’t want to face the consequences, I have to. Hunter deserves better. Faline deserves better.
And I’m so stupid for letting fear keep me away again. I can’t imagine what Hunter’s been through—the turmoil, the disappointment, the hopelessness of losing his child.
I don’t know how I’ll ever earn his forgiveness. I can only hope he’ll let me be part of Faline’s life through letters and photos once he puts me away.
“I missed you, too, my good boys. Mommy is so sorry she left you.” I try to bend to pet them, but there’s no way that’s happening. I can barely balance on my cankles as it is.
Another contraction hits. A screech fills the foyer as I bump the little table that holds Hunter’s keys and other random stuff.
It quiets the dogs, but my breathing takes over their whimpering.
The contractions are coming quicker, lasting longer, and I can confidently say I will not ever be giving birth again.
My poor vagina.
Measured breaths help slow my heart rate—until my gaze drops to a pair of golden, glittery heels next to Hunter’s shoes.
A scorpion of despair pinches my heart, tearing out a chunk as tears prick my eyes.
What did you expect, Bunny? That he’d wait for you again? After everything you put him through?
Even though I know it’s irrational, it’s true. In the deepest part of my heart, I did think Hunter would wait. But who can blame him for moving on?
A sob rips from my throat, catching on a gasp as pain bursts between my legs while I start up the stairs to Hunter’s bedroom. I push past it—past the physical pain, the emotional turmoil, and my own stubbornness at not wanting to see him with another woman.
You have no right to be upset. And he has every right to be there when his daughter is born.
Anguish stutters my steps. Hunter’s name ghosts my lips just as I hear a door open above. Heavy steps accompany the click of the safety on Hunter’s standard-issue pistol. Through my tears, his form appears at the top of the stairs. My knuckles go white on the banister.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
There’s no warmth in his question—no relief, no concern, not even surprise. His hardened whiskey gaze spears my soul, thick with outrage. He looks like an angry Greek god carved from cold, golden marble, unmoving as he fixes his prey—me—with a disgusted curl of his lip.
“Hunter, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry,” I manage, before another nausea-inducing wave rips through me.
Why can’t I be one of those women who breeze through labor and come out glowing like a goddess? At this rate, I’ll be lucky to survive looking like a haggard raccoon that got locked in a dumpster for days.
He’s descended a few steps now, worry and apprehension warring across his face. Shaking my head, I fight the pain and climb another stair. “I was wrong to run. I’m not expecting you to forgive me, but the baby is coming, and—”
“It’s too early,” he interrupts.
“Nope,” I pop the p, gritting my teeth as annoyance rakes through me at his unbothered state. It is so unfair that men don’t suffer during labor. “She’s considered early-term, but she’s ready to make her appearance now.”
“Is that why you came back?” I hate that his tone is rough and guarded. I hate that I did that to him.
Most of all, I hate that I’ve never deserved him, and he’s finally seeing that.
Self-preservation kicks in, my feet backpedal on their own. I open my mouth to retort, the words dying on my lips as a familiar feminine voice calls his name.
“Hunter?”
Ice trickles through every fiber of my being, every muscle tensing as Hunter flinches.
No. He wouldn’t have. Please tell me he didn’t.
Soft steps on hardwood, and a massive mane of honeyed blonde hair appears behind him, mussed like she was fucked before bed.
Surprised golden eyes meet mine over his shoulder, belonging to the last person I expected to find in Hunter’s home in the middle of the night—especially wearing nothing but one of his old, ratty college shirts.
Vixey.
“Bunny?” Her excited cry snaps me out of it.
With a jolt, I turn and bolt, Hunter’s heavy steps snapping into action behind me.
“Bunny! Wait!” he growls.
Tears blur my vision as I try to breathe. Anxiety swells. Betrayal, thick and viscous, churns in my gut. Distress fills my body fuller and fuller… and then warmth gushes from between my legs, releasing the pressure.
Shock sinks into my bones as I stare at the puddle at my feet. Vaguely, I hear Hunter racing up the stairs, shouting something about his phone.
Delicate hands grip my shoulders, Vixey’s elated face filling my vision. “Bunny! Your water just broke!”
No shit, Sherlock.
Shoving my bitterness toward one of the only two women I never expected to betray me aside, I let her help me toward the door.
Here we fucking go.
“Alright, Mama, you got this. Give me another big push.”
Ignoring the doctor, I fix Hunter with my most furious glare. “I hate you. You’re seriously the worst for doing this to me.”
To his credit, Hunter just shakes his head and allows me to continue my mission in breaking every bone in his hand.
“There’s the head!” Vixey crows, shoving her phone toward my vagina.
“I hate you even more! Why are you still here, you homewrecker?”
The doctor shoots her an annoyed look at her antics and my accusation.
Prickles of awareness, both painful and distressing, creep back into my lower body as the epidural begins to wear off. “I need more drugs.”
“Can someone help her?” Hunter asks, frantic—unaware it’s up to us to press the button that administers another dose of the only thing getting me through this.
“I’m not a homewrecker,” Vixey pouts. “I told you, it’s not what it looks like.”
“She’s right, it’s my fault,” Dove chimes in from the phone screen, crunching on a bag of popcorn.
“We went out of town for the weekend and… No, Songbird, you can’t look yet, I’m still watching Bunny’s vagina in high definition.
Anyway, Vixey called me first, I wasn’t available, so she went to Hunter instead. She had a bad night.”
The distraction is helping, so I glare at Vixey and demand, “What happened tonight?” She’s in a glittering gold gown now, having changed while we waited for Hunter to pull the car around—too formal for a casual date unless it was a gala. “Where’s Todd?”
A darkness I’ve never seen shutters her gaze. “We’re not… together… anymore,” she says tightly.
“What—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she snaps—then lifts her phone back toward my privates, voice reverting to her usual, cheerful manner. “Would you look at that head of hair? She’s gonna be a looker like her mama.”
“I need you to push, Bunny,” the doctor orders, her brows pinching with concern.
My shoulders slump. We’ve been at this for hours. I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep.
Hunter’s lips warm my temple. “You got this, Little Rabbit. I’m right here. Squeeze as hard as you need. Give me your pain. I’ve got you.”
His reassurance breaks something inside me.
Tears spill as I turn my face to him, taking in his messy curls and his slutty little glasses, knowing that this is the man I’m utterly in love with, and I messed it all up.
However, he’s still here, supporting me, calling me the affectionate nickname I’ve missed so much these last months.
He’s still here, holding my hand, encouraging me.
Because at the end of the day, Hunter’s always been more than a lover—he’s my best friend.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, pouring every ounce of sincerity into the words, repeating them over and over.
“Don’t worry about that right now.” He nods toward the end of the bed. “Focus on saying hello to our little girl.”
His words fill me with pride. Filling my lungs with air, I grit my teeth and push. I literally grew a human and am evicting her through my vagina. I am tearing my body so this tiny person can live.
Women are resilient. This is a battle wound I’ll be proud to bear for the rest of my life.
“You got this, Buns!” Dove shouts from the phone as Vixey cheers.
Through all the victims I’ve claimed as the Shadow Siren—every man I’ve killed and every woman I’ve saved—this is my greatest accomplishment.
“Okay, Bunny, one more big push and you can meet your little girl.”
If you’d told me two years ago this is where I’d be today, I would’ve laughed. I was too hurt, the wounds Nathaniel left were too raw. Even when I came back because I missed Hunter, I never wanted to be a mother.
Why would I want to raise a child in today’s world? A world that hurts and breaks and takes from people who don’t deserve it.
Yet even with all those big feelings, they wash away when the doctor lifts Faline. A sob tears free—part joy, because Hunter and I created this tiny little thing, and part sorrow, because she’ll have to grow up without a mother.
Hunter’s soft laugh mixes with his tears and Faline’s loud cries. He leaves my side to take the scissors and snip the umbilical cord, severing the last thread tying Faline to me.
Vixey comes to the head of the bed, sweeping sweaty hair from my eyes while she and Dove murmur soothing nonsense.
The doctor massages my belly, working on the placenta, while Hunter follows the nurse.
It all happens so fast it feels like I barely breathe before Hunter returns and places our bundled baby on my chest.
“Say hello to your momma, Faline,” he coos.
“Hi, baby girl,” I whisper, cuddling her close.
Most babies are ugly as shit when they’re born—discolored, wrinkly, covered in the slimy goo of their mother’s insides. Our baby, however, is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“She’s perfect,” I tell Hunter as he wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“Of course she is, she’s got you for a mother.” He kisses my temple, his thumb stroking my skin.
Our gazes lock. So many unspoken things crowd the space between us. Slowly, our smiles fade in unison. We know there’s so much to discuss. So many questions. So many hard things ahead.
A quiet understanding passes between us.
We can worry about it later.
For now, we’re going to enjoy our new little family.