Chapter 16 #2
It was in that uneasy doze that he’d reacted to Kelsey hovering over him before he could process what he was doing. And even in the darkened kitchen, he’d caught that look of fear and pain in her eyes as he’d jolted fully awake and realized what he’d done.
“Can you stop pacing and come sit by me, please?” Kelsey was curled into the corner of the couch, the bag of peas pressed against her head.
“You could have a concussion,” Kurt repeated. “I think we should get you to an urgent care center to be sure.”
“I don’t have a concussion. I have a contusion. Here, feel.” She reached for his hand as he obliged her request and sank beside her on the couch.
“It feels like a damn egg,” he said. Her touch was more comforting than he expected. And the sensation of his hand in her hair was more than inviting; it was disarming. So was being so close to her remarkable lips again. “I’m sorry.”
Sorry. What a weak, ridiculous word. Sorry never altered the past, no matter how far away or close by that past was.
Kelsey shrugged, a smile playing on her face.
“You can stop saying you’re sorry. Twenty times was enough.
It hardly hurts anymore, and I should have known better than to sneak up on a sleeping ex-marine.
But I will let you clean up the mess in the kitchen later.
I think it goes back to my childhood and my rowdy brothers, but there’s something about wiping up spilt milk that makes me want to hurl.
And if I ever get a whiff of really sour milk, it’s hurl city, just so you know. ”
Somehow, their fingers stayed entwined. Kurt began to stroke her palm with his thumb, and the smile she’d tacked on faltered. What had happened a few minutes ago had shaken her up more than she wanted to let on. That much was obvious.
All day, he’d been fighting the urge to take her in his arms and kiss her.
Now he realized what an idiot he was. How could he think about drawing someone as wonderful as Kelsey into a relationship when he was part Jekyll and part Hyde?
What did he think he was going to do…make crazy love to her, then send her packing before he fell asleep, just in case?
How could he expect her to be okay with that?
And what could happen if she was, and they tried it anyway?
“I guess now is good a time as any to bring up last night.” Her tone was soft, unaccusing.
“Because you have a clearer idea of what you’d be getting yourself into?” He dropped her hand and started pacing again.
“Because I like you,” she said, dropping the package of peas on the side table and tucking her hands under her thighs.
“But like most things that are worthwhile, a relationship—if that’s what this could be—seems complicated in the middle of what is probably that most important thing I’ve ever done.
It is, you know, this thing we’re doing with the dogs.
And I don’t know if what we have is a crush or something that could be real, but I don’t want to mess anything up.
On top of all that, not only are you really good looking, but you’re amazing with the dogs, so it’s quite possible I’m not thinking clearly to start with.
” She stopped and bit her lip. After a few seconds of silence, she shrugged her shoulders.
“I’m ranting, aren’t I? It’s not like me to be this open, so maybe I’m still in a bit of shock, but I want you to know that all this, you included, is important me.
When it’s over, I don’t want any regrets. ”
Kurt pressed his eyes closed a second and let out a slow breath. Couldn’t she be coy and skirt the truth and make it easier to shut her out? Hell, he wouldn’t be nearly as attracted to her if she could.
He sat beside her a second time and pulled her in for a soft kiss before either of them had time to think about it.
But the thing about her lips was that a quick taste would never be enough.
The kiss deepened and a flame of want ripped through him, sending a surge of fresh energy into his tired limbs.
He pulled away long enough to offer a husky “No regrets.” Rather than reconnecting with her lips, he found her neck and lost all thought.
He was damn close to climbing on top of her when several dogs jumped up in their crates and started to bark simultaneously.
Abandoning the couch, Kurt headed for the nearest front window, being sure to keep to the side and out of view.
Kelsey followed close behind him. Outside, an owl hooted loudly, and several of the dogs barked again.
From where he stood, the yard looked dark and empty.
“Think it was the owl?” Kelsey asked after the dogs quieted down and nothing else happened.
“Possibly.”
After another half minute of silence passed, he headed for the front porch.
The late-September night was cool, and an easy breeze flitted over his skin as he crossed over to the top stair.
The neighborhood seemed calm and benign.
From so far away that it was barely audible, he heard a car alarm going off.
Maybe that had been what stirred up the dogs, not the owl.
Over at Ida’s, a few lamps lit the lower floor.
Across the street in the rehab, one upstairs bedroom light was on.
No cars were parked out front, and Kurt wondered if the construction crew had left the light on accidentally.
“I’m worried that you won’t let yourself get any sleep tonight, and you really need it. Should I stay? We can take turns keeping watch, if that would help.”
Tugging her by her closest belt loop, Kurt drew her in for another long kiss.
“If you stay, neither of us will get any sleep.” His blood pulsed so hot through his veins that it seemed to have an acidic tinge.
“And after what happened in the kitchen, I think we both know you joining me in a bed could be a bad idea. For a while, at least.” His words had an unexpected ring of permanency, and he didn’t attempt to pull them back.
“Then what happens now?”
“You go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow morning, after we’re finished feeding, we’ll head over to the shelter together. I’d like to have a look at the stock so we can decide who to bring next. I need someone a little more imposing to really test Zeus.”
Her eyebrows rose at the word stock, and he wasn’t surprised at the exclamation that followed.
“You’re still pretty fresh out of a long string of soldiering, so I’ll forgive that impersonal term you used to refer to some of the sweetest dogs in the world, and I’ll agree.
But I meant between us.” She pressed her lips together.
Her amber eyes were sincere and locked on his.
He traced his thumb over her lower lip, then down her neck, and finally down the length of her sternum.
“I like you, and you like me. And we’re going to take this one day at time.
Yesterday, I learned that you have hands down the best lips of anyone I’ve ever met.
Tonight, we learned that as much as I’d like to be, I can’t be trusted in my sleep. Not now. Probably not for a while.”
Kelsey traced the tip of one finger along the line of his jaw, making him hungry for her all over again.
“I know you well enough to know you aren’t going to believe me when I tell you that what happened in the kitchen is never going to happen again.
Call it intuition if you want, but sometimes I just know these things.
And one of these days that we’re about to take one at a time, you’re going to trust me on this. ”
“My grandmother was a strong believer in intuition. My grandfather always scoffed until he was proved wrong, so I’ll refrain from comment.”
“Good.” She sucked in her cheek a second. “So, uh, I know we just talked about taking it a day at a time, but I was wondering if you’d like to go to Megan’s reception with me. It’s in three weeks. She’s probably my closest friend, and I’d really like to bring you with me.”
“I’d be honored,” he said, running his hand down the length of her arm and feeling the goose bumps that rose as a result, “as long as the only dancing we do is in a slow circle. Otherwise, I’d probably do more damage to your feet than I did to the back of your head.”
She smiled. “I’m good with that. And thanks. You gave me the dress-shopping motivation I needed.” She rose up and brushed her lips against his. “I should go. Promise me you’ll try to get some sleep.”
He gave her the promise she requested and went back in the house with her while she gathered her stuff.
When they were back at her car, he savored another kiss and allowed himself to explore her phenomenal body until she started to moan and he was on the verge of exploding on the spot.
Then he pulled away and closed his hands over her shoulders.
He might not have known her long, but he felt the permanency with which she’d entered his life with the deepest of certainties.
He’d thought he was coming home to head west to lose himself in hard labor and wilderness.
But here he was, falling in love with a girl and a house and a city and thirty-seven—no, thirty-eight—dogs all at once.
Rushing the next step would belie that permanency. He made a commitment then and there not to take her into his bed until he was certain he could not only fall asleep beside her, but also tell her this complicated truth without fear.
“Kels,” he said, using the nickname he’d enjoyed hearing her friends use. “Good night. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”
A wide smile spread across her face. “Me too. In the meantime, sweet dreams.”
He gave her a wink as she slipped into the driver’s seat and tugged on her seat belt. “After what I did in the kitchen, you may not believe me, but I’m not lying when I tell you I’ve had some of the sweetest in my life after starting this with you.”
“After having a few of my own, I’m inclined to believe you.”
He watched her drive off, then headed toward the house, almost swearing he could hear one of Nana’s favorite tunes carried on the rustling night breeze.