Four
Teagan
I’m a smart person, I swear. Intelligent, worldly. But this? This is just stupid.
Five days after the breakup, I’m acknowledging I may have made an error. I don’t want to be with Lenny— definitely don’t want to be with him—but I picked the wrong weekend to come to that realization.
The bell jingles a familiar sound when I walk through the café door. The smell of freshly ground espresso and the sound of an acoustic guitar instantly annoy me. As much as being in a preppy coffee shop makes my skin crawl, this is where I’ve spent much of my free time over the last few months. Because this is where Lenny works.
He stands behind the counter, watching the musician while wiping down one of the espresso machines. The muscles of his back flex beneath his polo, his big biceps stretching the material to its limit. A distraction, one eclipsed by the ramifications of our breakup.
We didn’t get together by chance. Lenny is the son of my father’s law partner. They expect both of us to follow in their footsteps and become partners in the future. In my parents’ minds, nothing could be better than us being partners in business and in life. So, like always, they decided what was best for me and set us up.
With the firm’s party happening at my family’s house this weekend, it won’t be a good look to walk in with news that will piss them off. I can avoid the drama if I smooth things over with Lenny. Unfortunately, that’s not something I’m great at.
Proving how spectacular Lenny is at his job, it takes an exaggerated clearing of my throat for him to notice me standing at the counter.
“Teagan,” he says with surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you.”
“I’m a little busy right now.” He turns away from me and focuses his attention on the machine again.
The son of a multimillionaire working as a barista is the quintessence of our fathers’ hypocrisy. Both of our dads said they wanted us to learn what a hard day’s work felt like, but I’m not sure they know what that means. Lenny’s father still pays his rent and gives him a four-figure allowance each month, as long as he holds down a part-time job. I make sure I can cover my bills on my own, but my dad still gives me money each semester, lording it over my head as if I can’t live without it.
My dad will go on thinking the hardest part of my life is not being able to fly to the Maldives to hang out with my friends over the weekend, and I wait every day for him to recognize that constantly placing a Black woman in white male spaces is considerably more of a struggle.
“Lenny, I came off a bit harsh last weekend. That wasn’t my intent.” I may have regrets, but I refuse to say the words I’m sorry to him. He doesn’t turn my way. “I’m not asking you to forgive me for what I said, but . . . the party is this weekend.”
“So?”
“We both have to be there.”
He glances at me over his shoulder. “And what do you want me to do? Show up with you and pretend we’re still together?”
“Preferably, yeah.”
“You are unbelievable.” He turns back to me and crosses his arms. “You’re afraid to tell them we broke up. Our dads are going to be pissed when they find out—and imagine how your mom will react, seeing how excited she was that you finally got with someone who has career prospects and an IQ higher than ninety-five.”
Well . “That’s valid.”
“Why don’t you tell them why you did it? Tell them why I wasn’t good enough for you. Tell them you’re not interested in nice guys, you’re just another typical female with daddy issues, on her way to having a body count higher than her annual salary.”
My eyebrows rise. “Are you calling me a slut?”
“I don’t know, Teagan. Would that satisfy you?”
I scoff, taken aback by his audacity. “Fuck you, Lenny. I was trying to apologize.”
“No, you were trying to save face. Maybe you should learn the difference.” He turns toward the machine, forcing my glare to fall on his back.
He hit a nerve he knew was there. Causing drama at the party will be so much worse for me than him. He’ll continue to play the part of the good guy who had his heart broken, and I’ll get the blame and the brunt of our parents’ disappointment.
Sadly, I’m too petty to let him win. If he wants to throw me into the fire, I’m dragging his ass with me.
Unable to help myself, I push the large pitcher of cream off the counter, spilling it onto the floor behind him. “Damn it, Teagan!”
The music stops. In my peripheral vision, I can see people are staring. Why stop now that I have an audience? I put my palms on the counter and lean in.
“I’m not a slut, Lenny. Even if I was, it wouldn’t make me less of a person. I didn’t leave you because you were a ‘nice guy.’ I left because I deserve someone better than you,” I correct him. “You are not the prize you think you are, you’re just another privileged little boy who never had someone tell him he can’t have everything he wants.”
He fixes his lips to say something else but I don’t give him the chance.
“I don’t care what else you have to say. Learn how to make a woman come before you come for me.”
I cast a glare in his direction and leave the store, storming all the way to my car.
When I get inside, I drop my forehead onto the steering wheel. Fuck . I know I’ve lost even though I’ve won.
The summer just started and I’m already neck-deep in shit. I have enough to wade through over the next few months without adding the depth of my parents’ disappointment, but Lenny was doing nothing to help. I should have held out for one more week, but I was desperate for something to relieve my stress. Something distracting, mind numbing, toe curling . . .
My thought ends when visions of Heath come to mind. I open my eyes in an attempt to push the image of him naked out of my head, but it doesn’t work.
He asked me to think about what he proposed, and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it every moment since. As ridiculous as it sounds, all can think about now is running back to his apartment and riding him until I can’t see straight.
It’s just another stupid idea, but after everything I’ve done so far this summer maybe being smart is overrated.
I open my Notes app and begin typing up ideas. We can do this. I can do this. Just need a few guidelines first.