10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten:
~Keida~
I could not have handled that worse…no. I could have absolutely handled that worse, I could have told her that she was right.
Melrose was right on all accounts. I was worried about my position in the order.
I was worried about her father’s approval.
I was worried about me…me…me. Not about the woman I’d been toying with while I convinced myself the goddess approved.
I hung my head, raking my fingers through my hair, not paying attention in the slightest to the clerics currently discussing tasks within the kingdom.
My mind, for the last five hours, was back in the courtyard.
It spun around in a circle, like broken spokes on a carriage wheel.
I replayed the look of betrayal on her face, the words, and worst of all, the sudden snap of my magic over her.
While it’d been a silly cast, knowing she let me keep it on her right till she called my bluff…
that she was capable of rebuffing my desires at any time?
Showing me she knew I was not worthy of her?
It stung. I shouldn’t have expected anything less, and yet there was a selfish part of me that hoped I might get away with it.
Having my cake, my position in the order, and eating it too.
“What do you think?” Cleric Ramone directed at me and I finally perked up.
“I think you all know what needs doing and don’t need my permission to do those critical tasks.
Should my directive change your current task, I’ll inform you, but for the time being, proceed as planned.
Thank you.” I climbed to my feet, watching the cleric’s nod at each other and divvy up the work they’d discussed.
Work I’d not heard a word of but was not worried about.
They did not get to be at their level within the Order or stationed here without a reasonable amount of brains.
And I’d correct any miscreant behavior like lollygagging or dilly-dallying later.
The only thing on my mind was leaving the stuffy library within the cathedral to seek out Melrose.
I owed her an apology. With every step, I listened hard to the life within the stone walls.
Snow collected in all the windows, leaving clumpy shadows along the floor as the sun set behind thick, grey clouds.
It was practically pitch dark outside if not for all the torches and festival lights illuminating the kingdom.
Inside the church, however, floating candles made amber dance across the walls.
It was hazy and dim, but it always made this time of year feel romantic.
Intimate. The whispers that did exist in the halls around me were soft.
Like people only put a few inches from their lips to the other person’s ear, ensuring only Avaris could hear them.
I peeked into some of the rooms within the cathedral, finding the study empty, the cleric bunks mostly abandoned save for a few early birds already unconscious from the days work, and the dining room empty.
However, there was a steady sound coming from the Hierophant Rex’s office.
A sweet humming sound mixed with the tinkling of instruments set to play by magic.
Music played by a person’s hand had a distinct liveliness to it, but music made by magic seemed more ethereal, almost uncanny.
Melrose’s humming along complimented the sound, making it less haunting. But no less sad.
I slid open Leonardo’s inner sanctum door to find his daughter sat at his desk.
A violin, flute, and a few other instruments I never bothered to learn the name of, floating over her head as she ate alone.
Her fork clinked against the plate with each stab into her dinner.
My heart sank into my feet. Pushing open the door more, I caught her ears flick but her gaze did not find me. Instead, she focused on the desk.
“Melrose,” I murmured, trying to catch her attention.
“I don’t much feel like entertaining you, Your Lunarence. State your business, please.” The coldness with which she said it made me swallow my tongue. Melrose never called me by my title. I deserved that. Licking my lips, I closed the door behind me.
“I have been cruel to you and I’ve come to apologize—” I didn’t even get to finish when Melrose snapped her head up, glaring at me.
“Apology not accepted.”
“You did not even allow me to apologize,” I huffed.
“I simply do not wish to hear it,” Melrose spat with a petulant ‘harrumph’, twisting back to her dinner plate. “Do you not have an Order to oversee?”
I stopped in the middle of Leonardo’s office, staring at the bane of my existence and object of all my dreams. It was partial awe, partial ire, and partial understanding.
I’d ruined any chance I had with her heart in my selfish cowardice.
I’d earned that treatment. This is divine punishment.
But if we were to live in the same cathedral for the next two weeks, roughly, without Leonardo to buffer us… I’d have to get us to cordial at least.
“I’ve already done that. I came to see if you need anything,” I sighed in defeat.
“I am quite well taken care of, thank you. My lesson went well, I’ve learned a new stitch type, crafted a new pattern for a dress, showed off my impressive skill with counting to the younglings.”
I snickered, “Showed off your impressive counting skill?”
She gave me a sharp side eye that probably should have thrown me from the room.
It only beckoned me closer. I tentatively stepped toward the chair across from hers.
Funny, she didn’t sit in her father’s chair.
Instead, she pulled one of the plush velvet chairs away from the bookcase and put it to the side.
Something I found her in often when he was in the room.
I followed her lead and pulled the other reading chair away from the wall and sat down across from her at the left side of his desk.
“I read them a book! A counting book. We counted chickens and sheep and fairies. It was quite nice.” Melrose tossed her hair over her shoulder in a faux haughtiness that she couldn’t help but smile at with me.
I chuckled, “Ah, so you are why there was little after school attendance here at the cathedral.”
“You’re welcome.” Melrose picked up her fork again, stabbing at her dinner.
It was a mixture of vegetables with some sort of cream sauce draped over it.
I could see the cracked pepper in it, and what looked like carrots or maybe sliced onions.
Unlike the daughter of the Hierophant Rex, I didn’t have the time to inspect my meal earlier.
When it was served to us in the library for the clerical meeting, I’d all but shoveled it into my face and pushed the empty bowl away.
I folded my hands over the desk, watching her push pasta and the such around her plate. “Not hungry?”
“No appetite, it seems,” she murmured.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Even quiet and gaze off in the distance, Melrose was still the prettiest woman I’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her round cheeks, the thick sweep of her lashes, I memorized it all from afar.
“You know,” I blurted out, desperate to have her gaze back on me. It sparked life back into it as she blessed me with her honeyed orbs once more. “I remember the last time you had no appetite. Sat in this office, trying not to let your father see what you’d done.”
Melrose narrowed her eyes on me, “What was I supposed to do? They were holding a bake sale? I had to taste test all the treats before we put them out.”
“Uh-huh,” I teased, my fingers tracing years of letters, signed orders, and magic scrolls that came across the desk. “You couldn’t have just taken their word for it?”
“Please, clerics are wonderful healers but bakers? Pfft,” Melrose rolled her eyes. “Besides, I’m not the only one who was in trouble that day, if I so recall.”
I chuckled softly, tapping my finger on the desk sheepishly. “It’s different when he wacked my knuckles for simply being too mean to the other clerics. I didn’t make myself sick on pastries then lie to him.”
“I was not sick!” she roared, pushing her plate away.
I raised a singular finger to the air, “I remember personally mopping it up.”
She shifted backward, eyebrows knitted down. “What? Why?”
I didn’t have a good answer. Not one that would explain my actions like a sensible person. I hadn’t even questioned it myself. I made a non-committal motion with my hands and shrugged at the same time. “Your father was busy taking care of you.”
She squinted at me suspiciously. “Uh-huh.”
“If I’m being quite honest, I remember rubbing your back as you spilled your guts on the floor.
Your father whisked you away to heal you and…
I do not remember even considering making someone else clean it up.
I simply grabbed a mop and a bucket.” I eyed her right back as she slouched in her chair.
Those wondering orbs of hers studied every inch of my face then fell toward the desk.
“You do that a lot…” she murmured.
“Do what? Clean up messes? I fear that is a part of my title,” I grumbled mostly to myself.
Half the Lunar Cleric’s duties were picking up after people.
When a cleric was unable to complete a duty, it was my job to see it done.
When blessings went awry, I was the one to fix them.
When someone needed to bring ointments to villages on the edge of the kingdom or deliver goods from the Cathedral, I was the one in a traveler’s cloak.
And when the Hierophant Rex went on ‘sabbaticals’ or saw to the goddess’ wishes, it was me who kept the church upright.
“My…messes…” she murmured, peeking up again. “Like the first time you met me.”
“Ah,” I snorted, tracing some of the cracks with my fingernail. “You remember that?”
“You mean the time the cleric who walked in on me getting eaten like a holiday feast, turned around and stalled with my father till I could get the knight out that window right there?” She jabbed a thumb at the massive glass pane at the end of the room. “Yes, I remember.”
“Well…” I trailed off, finally at a loss for words.
“I just don’t understand you, Keida,” she sighed, climbing to her hooves. Melrose plucked her dinner plate from the desk and turned toward the door. I ripped back up onto my feet and impulsively took the plate from her. She blinked at me in bewilderment as I sat it back down on the desk.
I swallowed hard, lost in her gaze for a moment before the words fell out of my mouth. My confessional. “This church is all I am, Melrose. This? This cleric you see before you is all I am. I was raised in this order. I know nothing else.”
“And you think that scares me?” she scoffed.
“It should!” I blurted out. “Or at the very least make me unattractive to you.”
Melrose crossed her arms, head cocked to the side in disbelief. “What are you talking about?”
“You should…” I scrambled for words that evaded me. “Want something more than this? Find a prince who will whisk you away to a foreign kingdom where you’ll live a glamorous life.”
“I do not like men that way,” she snapped.
I inhaled sharply through my nose, pinching the bridge in order to ground myself. “Alright, fine, a princess.”
“I do not want a princess. I do not wish to be one. You want to know what I want, Keida? No one seems to care about what it is I want but have all these thoughts and ideas on what I should do with my life. My. Life.”
I caved, shaking my head in defeat, “What is it that you want in life, Melrose?”
She seethed for a moment. The fire in her eyes steadily softened to a candle’s burn, her lips quivering. Oh…I never thought about it like that. Melrose St. Augustine, daughter of the Hierophant, chained by the order but never by choice.
“I want to make dresses for people, even if they’re egregiously overdressed to wear in their living room.
Because every single person deserves to feel pretty.
” The words slapped me in the face as she lowered her arms from under her chest. Her eyes welled with tears that didn’t spill, but I could hear it in her voice.
“I want to help out in the Order. I like feeding the less fortunate and organizing events. I like talking to the clerics, reminding them to be people and not just emotionless mages who do as they’re told and nothing else.
I want to be a pillar of this community, of this kingdom, not because I’ve married some princess…
but because I do good. And I want you, most of all, despite how endlessly you try to dissuade me.
I wish I didn’t, Keida, but I do. So there. ”
She snatched up her skirt, but I didn’t let her leave.
My hands found her waist, walking her back into a bookshelf.
You should not want me, Melrose, you could do better.
You deserve a princess. But fine. If you do not want one.
You’ll have me…until your father beheads me for it, that is.
All the words I wanted to say fell away as my lips crashed onto hers.
I hoped it would speak louder for me as my fingers fisted up the heavy fabric of her skirt.
I’ve wanted you since I first saw you. I clean up your messes because I enjoy that you’re not perfect, and it reminds me that I am allowed to make mistakes.
Her lips matched mine, palms cupping my cheeks.
I swallowed her light mewl that turned into a moan as I molded my body against hers.
“Keida,” she breathed, breaking the kiss for only a moment. “What is it you want?”
I laughed, breathless and without thought, “You, Trouble. I just want you.”