Chapter 25
KATE
Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous,
there shall be no more cakes . . . ?
Kate is running in the sweet spot where the shoreline is packed hard, no slurpy sand sucking at her feet or soft undulations pulling at her pace.
She is in rhythm: legs, body, and breath.
The wind is in her face, the last of the sun’s rays on her back.
If she keeps running—and painting like she has today—maybe she will catch up with the happiness that has been eluding her.
She also had a good video call with the girls.
All seemed well, with much the same squabbling and laughter.
They had all been pleased when she told them she was painting again and trying oils.
She settles into the rhythm of her run, her senses flooded with the scent of the sea and the call of the birds. Anything seems possible.
Bardy?
Well. Maybe not.
But Simon?
That was a surprise. She picks up her pace.
Simon was an old friend and colleague of Doug’s. A man she had well . . . nothing really to beat herself up about, but a memory. She had thought he was in Dubai. But it seems Simon is back and texting her. That was a shock. A blast from the past. She didn’t even know he had her number.
This thought creates a final spurt of speed and she pulls up gasping in front of the lifeboat station.
She is hot and sweaty. This week’s meeting will start in ten minutes.
Not enough time to go home and change. But Bardy isn’t the only one who knows someone in the RNLI; Kate has the combination to the locker room and permission to use their showers.
“I couldn’t decide which to make, so I made both. A banana loaf and some apricot flapjacks.” Linda is unloading cake tins onto the long table.
Leonard is at the telescope, while Kate, Pia, Satya, and Bardy are gathering around Linda. The door opens, and Lou walks in. His hand is heavily bandaged.
“Mate!” Bardy cries. Kate thinks his obvious distress says it all.
Leonard comes to join them, and Linda pulls out a chair for Lou next to her. “My goodness, what have you been up to? I had no idea wood turning was so dangerous.”
“Not turning. Polishing. Got my rag caught in the lathe, and it pulled my hand in.”
“You could have lost a finger,” Satya exclaims.
“I know! Don’t mind admitting it gave me a fright.”
“Have you had it looked at?” Nurse Linda asks.
“Yep. Four stitches. Couldn’t have been kinder. Trouble is, I can’t really use the gouges with my hand the way it is.”
“Maybe try a bit of poetry,” Bardy suggests, and Lou laughs.
“Okay, shall we get started?” Bardy proposes. “Go round in turn?”
“No Tay this week?” Kate queries, looking at Bardy.
“No, she’s got a lot going on at the moment.” He exchanges a glance with Pia. Does she know something about this?
“I don’t mind starting,” Kate says, her confidence still buoyed by the endorphins.
“I’ve gone back to watercolors,” Leonard declares.
Kate hears a subdued, “Oh, Leonard,” from Linda.
Kate glances at her and shakes her head slightly—not a problem.
So much for Leonard claiming he wore his hearing aids more often.
“I thought I would give watercolors one last shot. Maybe try some new techniques with the paints.”
Kate thinks it is odd to hear someone sound so bullish and at the same time so despondent.
“Kate, you were saying?” Bardy interjects.
“It wasn’t much. Just to say I am getting the feel of the oils but still struggling a bit with my color mixing.” She doesn’t add that it was much the same when she was getting the hang of the gouache paints that she used for her JoJo Rose paintings.
Bardy looks at her. Why does it feel like too long? Does she look red and blotchy from the run? He couldn’t possibly have guessed she was thinking about JoJo Rose.
“I could try and get someone in to talk to us about color. I’m not sure if . . . well . . . if she’s going to be here long. But she is amazing with color.”
Kate and the others make vaguely positive noises. Kate suspects no one really knows what Bardy is getting at. Still, Bazza turned out to be fun and useful too.
“Okay, leave that with me,” Bardy says. “Pia?”
“Well, my quilt is certainly getting bigger.” She smiles. “I keep going, thinking that if this is a Norfolk quilt, it needs to be a big expanse. But then I think I am just going to end up with a carpet,” she laughs.
It strikes Kate that even though it doesn’t seem to be going well, Pia must be getting something out of this. She seems far less worried about not being good enough.
“Satya?” Bardy says.
Satya looks at Bardy and grimaces. “Do you know what, I probably shouldn’t have even come.
I haven’t done anything on my photography, I’ve just got so much work to do.
” She groans. “I’m so tired, and I skipped supper.
I tell you what, I could really do with a piece of Linda’s cake and a coffee.
It’s been a pig of a week.” She looks around helplessly.
“You’ve got it.” Linda and Lou are on their feet, heading for the kitchen. After a moment, Satya goes to join them.
Kate watches their retreating figures and thinks about how much she likes these people. Thinks how much Alice would have liked them. Especially Tay. She always had a soft spot for the young, the vulnerable.
“Is Tay okay?” she asks Bardy.
Once again, Bardy looks fleetingly at Pia. “She’s having a tough time at work. Got a meeting she’s not looking forward to.”
This doesn’t look like it’s news to Pia.
Leonard surprises Kate by saying, “I know the company she works for. Middle-sized but not a bad reputation. She was telling me about them over supper. My friend Ray runs it, or he certainly used to. You say she’s having problems?”
Linda, Lou, and Satya are back, trays loaded with refreshments. “What’s this?” Linda asks.
“Tay. She’s having a tough time at work,” Leonard informs her. “Nice girl, when you take the time to talk to her.”
Linda looks at him but says nothing.
“Are you involved with this?” Kate asks Pia.
“Not really. It’s just that Tay told me about it. A problem.” She hesitates. “It’s not anything I could get involved with.”
She appears reluctant to continue. Kate recalls Pia saying her partner, Grace, had claimed she didn’t put herself out for people. Was Grace right? This thought prompts Kate to ask, “I remember you said employment law was your area. Could Tay do with your advice?”
“She doesn’t need a lawyer,” Pia fires back.
Defensive.
“That cake looks delicious, Linda,” Pia adds, and Kate wonders why she is so keen to change the subject.
Leonard is not so easily diverted. “If she’s got some issues, I could give Ray a call. Nice girl, Tay. Really very surprising.”
“Really?” Linda’s tone is weary with exasperation. “Would that be surprising because she has a pierced nose and eyebrow? Or because her father doesn’t play golf?”
“No. No, not at all.” Leonard sounds flustered. “If she needs help, I will give Ray a ring, that’s all.”
Pia intervenes, “Leonard, it really is nothing, it’s not that important.”
Kate can’t read the expression on Bardy’s face.
“It wouldn’t be appropriate for your friend to get involved. Tay is dealing with this through the proper channels,” Pia insists.
“Leonard, you don’t know anything about this, and it sounds like Pia is giving Tay the advice she needs,” Linda says firmly.
“Don’t give it a thought. Happy to ring Ray,” Leonard exclaims. “Best go straight to the top man.” He smiles around at them.
He doesn’t seem to notice that nobody is smiling back.
“Satya, why’s your week been so bad?” Kate asks, hoping to defuse the situation.
Bardy seems to come to life, “Yeah, Satya. Anything we can help with?”
Satya glances at Leonard, and Kate’s certain she’s not going to want Leonard’s talk to the man at the top approach.
She picks at the crumbs on her plate. “We’ve had consultants in all week working on our mission statement and brand values.
It’s taken a long time, but I think we’re getting somewhere.
Their main push is toward how our organic growth is rooted in the heart of the brand’s kernel, and our essence of positivity leads from the middle. ”
Kate’s not surprised she’s had a shit week.
Linda leans forward, “Do you mind me asking, Satya, what does that actually mean?”
Kate thinks Satya might cry.
But Satya is made of tougher stuff—it is no coincidence that she built her company from scratch.
Satya talks to them about the brand essence and customer focus.
She expands on product positivity and the analoguesque decentralized customer journey until everyone around her is nodding.
Kate thinks more in the hope that she will stop rather than because they understand a word of what she is saying.
Eventually, Bardy cuts in and says, with some sympathy, “That would get anybody down. I quite get that you haven’t had time for photography.” He pauses. “So, Linda, how about your . . . actually, I can’t remember what you are doing. Pen and wash? Or have you moved on from that?”
Linda looks at her husband, then back at Bardy. “Yes,” she says. “I have decided to write a short story.”
“Oh!” Bardy sounds surprised. “What’s it going to be about?”
“It is the story of a deaf man who gets run over by his wife.”
Kate thinks she should want to laugh, but it’s all too sad. This evening is going from bad to worse.
“And how’s your story writing going, Bardy?” Linda asks, a mulish look on her face.
Bardy takes a while to respond. “Still working on the baker’s story,” he says, glancing at Lou. “I’ve been thinking about him, and the baker’s friend. Maybe his friend owes the baker an apology.”
Kate is really struggling. No one seems to be making any sense this evening.
For the first time, at the end of the evening, Kate is glad to leave. Things seem out of kilter. Pia, Bardy, Satya, Linda, and Leonard. Even Lou looks like he might end up killing himself with his wood turning. And no Tay.
At the door, Bardy breaks away from talking to Satya to intercept Kate. He holds out a hand as if to touch her arm, but leaves it hanging in midair. He looks like a man who has just remembered something. Or maybe a man who has had a shock.
“Yes, Bardy?”
“Twelfth Night . . . and A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
What is the man on about?
“Kate, would you like to come and have something to eat with me sometime? Not me cooking because that wouldn’t be great. But something else. Out out. You know, a restaurant. Out. Or a pub if you prefer? Out.”
It is delivered so disjointedly that Kate wonders if he even meant to say it. It doesn’t make any sense—why those plays? And why now?
She is suddenly weary, unable to read the man in front of her. Wanting to reach out and touch his face. It is such a nice face. She wants to step toward him. Lean into him.
He stands wavering. Anxious. And as he wavers, so does she.
She wants to say yes. Just sit with Bardy and chat about the group and other things—the things that are bothering her.
It has been so long since she has had that sort of support—well, from a man in her life.
But she instinctively knows if she lets her guard down, lets Bardy in, she won’t be able to pick everything up again.
She has spent so many years on her own, shouldering it all.
And really, she has no idea what he is actually asking her.
All of this goes through her mind in the blink of an eye.
“Kate?” he says, tentatively.
Part of her thinks, Just go, it’s only a meal. The other part tells her not to risk it. Then she catches sight of Pia’s coat hanging by the door. Oh, so stylish.
“Shall we leave it, Bardy? I appreciate you asking, but it’s probably best to keep it like this. Friends?”
No one wants to be the consolation prize, Bardy.
“Yeah, fine. Of course.” Fired out quickly.
Relieved or upset?
But as he turns away, Kate wishes he had listened. Really listened.
She hadn’t said. “Friends.”
She had said, “Friends?”
It was a question.