Chapter 13
Kekoa
“Um… Chief Masters, do you have a moment?”
“Of course I do, Kekoa honey,” she said as she stood and brushed the dirt off her hands. “And out here it’s just Mrs. Masters, or even Ms. Dana if you really feel the need to put something before my name.”
She gestured for me to sit on one of the patio chairs and poured us glasses of lemonade from the pitcher on a nearby stand.
“I prefer gardening at night,” she explained as she filled them.
“A throwback to my days in the service. I used to head outside to wind down and decompress from my day, and honestly because my plants were far less lively than my children. Once they were in bed, gardening and a glass of wine were the only things I had to focus on.”
“And they were incapable of complaining if you paid more attention to one over the other,” I said as she passed me the glass.
“Oh, you’ve got jokes,” she replied as she sat.
“Too many, sometimes,” I replied. “My snark has gotten me into trouble a time or two.”
“I’m sure it has.”
“Never got into any trouble making plant jokes though,” I said, “or tending to them. I hope Lani and Nyx don’t mind me adding some to the yard. They’ve got a beautiful backyard space, but it’s kind of bare.”
She laughed at that. “I’ve been telling them that since they bought the house. Even offered to plant a few to get them started, but they declined.”
“Might be for the best,” I replied. “I have it on great authority that Lani is a notorious plant killer. I hope forbidding him to touch them helps keep the new herbs and houseplants alive.”
“You bought houseplants?” she asked.
“And we hung them across the bay window,” I replied, gesturing to the house up the block. “And in the kitchen window too. We also got a pair of elephant ears for the living room and have plans to add a few ferns as soon as we find the right ones.”
“Will miracles never cease?” she replied, grinning over at me.
“Is it okay if I hit my vape?” I asked.
“As long as you don’t mind if I hit mine,” she replied, fishing a yellow one from her pocket.
Mine was a green and white sour apple watermelon flavored one that flashed when I hit it, a reminder that it would need to be replaced soon.
“So, what was it you came over to ask me?” she asked once we’d settled in.
“Please don’t think this is odd, but it’s about the monstrosity in the living room,” I explained.
“You mean the couch,” she replied, exhaling as she laughed.
“I’ve been trying to get them to let me replace that thing for almost as long as I’ve been nagging them to let me plant some things over there.
All of that pretty yard is a fresh canvas just going to waste, though happily, not for much longer. ”
“Is there a story behind the couch?” I asked. “Like, is there some sentimental attachment they’re avoiding talking to me about, or are they really just god-awful about putting things off?”
“Honey, you are mated to two of the biggest procrastinators in the village, and that’s saying something.
When it comes to getting work done, they are laser focused, but when it comes to getting stuff done around the house, those two are like a pair of frat boys, I swear.
I have told them over and over to write things down.
I can’t tell you how many notepads and to-do list sheets I’ve given them over the years, and not once have I spotted even one of them in plain sight when I visited. ”
“Because they are all in a drawer, along with four different kinds of can openers, which I located after we’d brought home a fifth one.
For reasons he couldn’t fully explain, Nyx has made it a habit of tossing them in there instead of putting them back in the drawer Lani designated for them to occupy. ”
“And promptly forgets where he puts them when he gets distracted by something else,” she replied. “I know how my son can be. Lani just shakes his head, puts everything where it belongs once it turns up again, then sits back and waits to see where they appear next.”
“I can’t wait,” I said. “It’s sure to be entertaining.”
“Oh, it will be that and then some.”
“So, the couch just hasn’t been a high enough priority for them to get to yet?” I said, mulling that over in my mind.
“Exactly. It’s a routinely complained about inconvenience, but it’s only one they notice after they sit down or pass out on it.”
“I know I’m new to the whole being mated thing, but I’m starting to feel like this is one of those times when it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
“There will be no need to ask for forgiveness if you’re about to do what I think you are,” she said.
“I’ve never shopped for a couch before,” I blurted.
“Well, you’re in luck. I’ve shopped for several, and I happen to have tomorrow off if you need help,” she offered.
“I’d love some.”
“Then I’ll pick you up at ten unless that’s too early.”
“No, that will be fine.”
“Now, is the couch what you really came over to talk about?”
“Not entirely,” I replied. “When I popped out to hit my vape and saw you, I thought maybe it would be a good time to tell you about issues you found when you investigated me.”
“I’m listening.”
“Nyx suggested that I let my hair go back to its natural shade, and I’d have agreed with him if I hadn’t chosen to dye it brown to keep people from pegging me as a jellyfish.”
Sip. Sip.
Puff.
Exhale.
She silently waited for me to get my thoughts together while I puffed and took a few sips too.
“I never cared before this video started circulating a few years ago. It started on one of those subscription sites, and then it went viral. It was basically jellyfish porn, in and out of shifted form as well as with tentacles out while human. One of the scenes even gave birth to a gif, which became a plot bunny, and then people started writing about it, and it became a whole thing. Like, it was probably always a thing, but it was a hidden thing, or at least not all up in my face. I got hit on so much afterward, which was flattering at first, until people got aggressive about it. Then the whole thing just got to be a nuisance.”
“And it’s the internet, so not only is the video forever, but sharing fuels the fad, which means it’s unlikely to die down anytime soon,” she said.
“Even the completely reckless ones, like those damned Tide Pod and nutmeg challenges, took months before 9-1-1 stopped getting calls about the aftermath of people trying them.”
“I know people, even a few family members, who have been capitalizing on it, which has put a strain on a few relationships.”
“Because you feel like it’s perpetuating something that could be harmful to those who don’t want the attention,” she said.
“Yeah.”
“It’s a fine line,” she said. “And a hard choice, too, especially in this economy.”
“I can see it from their perspectives,” I said.
“And deep down I know it’s not going to stop or go away if actual jellyfish are taking part.
Not when there are wigs to mimic our hair and enough AI animation software out there that they can create fantasy videos featuring us half shifted with our tentacles out and shit.
I just don’t think we need to help them with their fetishes, especially when people take them so far over the line that there have been times when it’s gotten scary. ”
“Is that what happened in Manila?”
“You mean, with Shayla Kincade?” I asked, wanting to make sure we were on the same page about which Manila incident she was referring to since I’d been involved in more than one confrontation.
“Was that the name of the lady you rescued from an Uber driver after chasing the car down on a ‘borrowed’ motorcycle while breaking numerous traffic laws?”
“Yeah, that would be her,” I replied.
“The Uber driver wasn’t even a real Uber driver according to the report I read,” she replied.
“He was using his brother’s account and car to pick up exotic shifters while the brother was away on vacation.
He drugged them and took them home to be part of a fantasy harem he was building.
You saved more than just Shayla with that motorcycle stunt. How’d you know he was a danger to her?”
I sighed, rubbed the back of my neck, and took a few puffs. “I had an encounter with him the week before, a block from where I saw him pick her up. I saw his face and her getting in the car with him and just got a bad feeling. He still had bruises on his face from what I’d done to him.”
“It must have been a hell of an encounter,” she replied.
“Would have been easier if he hadn’t been immune to my toxins,” I replied.
“There wasn’t an account of that incident in the reports I read.”
“I didn’t see a point in reporting it when he was the one who limped away.”
“Something tells me that happens often.”
“I plead the fifth.”
“We’re not in court right now, and I’m not judging you,” she replied.
“I am glad you are sharing all of this with me, though. I wasn’t aware of this jellyfish fad or any potential danger to the jellyfish members of this community.
That’s information I needed to know to effectively do my job.
It also changes my position about your hair.
I understand now why you did it and why you’d be reluctant to change it back. ”
“I’m sorry to have come into this whole mating thing with so much baggage,” I began, only to find myself cut off, which was probably a good thing, because tears had started stinging my eyes.
“If there is one thing I’ve learned in my time here on earth, it’s that we have no control at all over when things happen.
The fates deemed that now was the right time for you to find your mates.
You could spend your time apologizing for your past while wondering why the universe chose to grant you this gift before you had your life in order, or you could thank them for giving you two men who will watch your back so you can finally stop carrying your burdens alone. ”