42. 42 #2
“The worst part is that he didn’t even reach out when I left.
Not a phone call, not a text. I think maybe he knew what he did was wrong.
That it was a step too far, and there was no coming back from it.
He started calling me again right before I entered the villa, but I ignored him.
I don’t know when I’ll be ready to talk to him again. ”
I nestled into Callum’s chest, feeling his warmth seep into me.
“Anyway,” I said after we had been quiet for a few moments. “That's why I’m here. Why your proposition all those weeks ago was something I couldn’t say no to, and why I needed to be on the show for as long as possible.”
He nodded, then said, “Want to hear mine?”
“Your what?”
“My reason.”
“Is it as bad as an ex-fiancé stealing all your money and then apparently popping up out of nowhere the minute you start getting the tiniest bit of public attention?”
“Not quite.”
“Well, still, don’t leave me hanging.”
It was Callum’s turn to pace, and I let him get his bearings before he launched into it.
“My family is . . . difficult. It’s not a very original story but basically my dad is a top barrister in London.
He deals in power. It’s all that’s ever mattered to him: who has what and what they can do for him.
His greatest talent is using others to get ahead.
When I was younger, it didn’t seem so bad.
I mean, let’s be honest, I benefited from his greed.
Nice house, good schools, whatever I wanted for most of my life.
And it was great, I won’t lie. That kind of lifestyle is intoxicating.
But then I started to grow up, and the whole scene began to feel a bit tired, a bit empty, and I started wondering what I wanted to do with my life. What my purpose was.”
He ducked his head, as if he was embarrassed by his own good fortune. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. Poor little rich kid.”
“If it’s your truth, it’s not stupid.”
“My father would disagree.”
“What happened next?”
“I finished school, and he kept asking me when I was going to law school. When I would be taking up the mantle and taking over the family business.”
“And that’s not what you want to do?”
“I’m not sure what I want. I actually do like law, just not in the way my father practices it.
Maybe I could find a way to do it on my own one day.
What I do I know is that I don’t want the life he has.
It’s empty and hollow, and it’s just not for me.
I didn’t know how to say that, though. Not at first. So I avoided it all together, put off law school and just started working at his firm.
I thought it might buy me some time, that maybe he would be appeased by it.
And he was, for a lot longer than I thought he would be, to be honest.”
He looked at me, trying to keep the smile on his face even though I could see it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Anyway, my clock had to run out, eventually. And it did a few months ago. My dad told me if I didn’t want to take over the business then I could find a new family.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“He did. It was just as horrible as it sounds, too. He didn’t say it off the cuff or in a fit of anger.
He sat me down, looked me in the eye, and told me that his was the only kind of life acceptable for me.
Anything else was simply out of the question.
My mom tried to mend things, but it’s hard to come back from that. ”
“So you came here?”
“Yup. I got rip-roaring drunk one night, saw a few reruns on TV, and it hit me: the best way to get back at my father was to make myself as opposite to him as I could in the most public manner there is. Which is this show in a nutshell.”
“It’s a good plan.”
“I thought so too. And it would have been something funny I laughed about later, how I had this crazy idea to stick it to my dad. If it hadn’t been for one thing, that’s all it ever would have been.”
“What’s the one thing?”
“Ben. We grew up together and he’s been my best friend since we were kids. I told him I wanted on the show and before the full force of my hangover could even hit, I was committed.”
“And here you are.”
“Here I am,” he said. “When the show started, I was still so mad at my father that I was determined to draw this out as long as possible. That anger has waned a bit since being in here, but still. It’s why I was so adamant about this plan of ours.”
I thought back to those first few days when I met Callum and the answer to a forgotten question suddenly clicked into place.
“That’s why you were such a dick when I met you.”
“Yes, and I am so sorry for the way I acted. I was proper shit for treating you like that. My dad found out only hours before I left for Italy, and it wasn’t pretty.
It worked exactly how I wanted it to, pushed every button of his I knew it would, but dealing with the fallout still wasn’t fun.
When I saw you on the ferry that day, I had just hung up the phone with him, so it was all quite raw. ”
I nodded at him, finally understanding his cold behavior.
“Also,” he kept on, “my ex was American. She, uh, she hooked up with one of my friends last year and I walked in on them.”
My heart dropped and I felt sick for him.
“So, me coming in . . . being American . . . ”
“It was a perfect storm of everything I was angry at. But I’m sorry. I should have never taken it out on you, and I’ve felt horrible about it for a while now.”
I looked up at him and could see the weight of worry etched on his features.
“Well, I’m glad you ended up in here.”
His face relaxed and he smiled down at me, that real smile of his I had grown to adore.
“You know, I am too,” he said.
As we stood there looking at each other, I felt the weight of my past dissolve around me. It was all out there, our secrets and reasons. I knew Callum and he knew me. We could move forward. I could move forward, without the fear of the past catching up to me.
We stayed in the smoking area until Harry and Ben tracked us down, pulling us out of our little bubble and back to our other reality.