48. 48
The garden had been completely transformed.
Gone were the sun loungers and daybeds, and in their place were small, round tables seating four people. There had to have been twenty tables spread across the space.
A large stage had been constructed directly over the pool, with a spectacular view beyond of the Tyrrhenian Sea that I’m sure would look incredible on camera. Production had gotten lucky with the weather, and it had been a perfectly clear blue day.
Heading into the evening, the promise of a picturesque sunset awaited us.
In the middle of the stage stood Gemma in yet another showstopping gown. It was white and sequined, and she seemed to glow against the blue sea at her back.
Directly behind where she stood was a round couch and a tiny fire pit. The set was a replica of the fire pit we normally sat around, just as they recreated for the weekly live show.
Seated around the couch were the guys.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw Callum. He was wearing a tan linen suit with a white shirt underneath. The top three buttons were undone, showing off the nice tan he had built up.
He was looking away, talking to Liam, but when we emerged from the teak walkway and the crowd cheered, his eyes found my own.
Time could have stopped then and there.
As I walked across the lawn and up the steps to the stage, I couldn't take my eyes off him. It would have been physically impossible for me to look anywhere else.
Callum did not feel the same. After only a few moments, he looked down and away.
My heart sank. I wished, for the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours, that I could hit pause and pull him away from all of this. That I could have a chance to explain that what he saw with Gavin wasn't what really happened.
But I couldn’t do that; I couldn’t do anything at the moment except follow the rest of the girls across the stage and to the makeshift fire pit.
Taking my place next to Callum, I looked up at him and whispered his name, trying to catch his attention even though we were practically pressed up against each other. He was really digging in on the whole "ignoring me" thing.
After a long beat, he finally looked down at me, and for a moment I could see everything he felt written across his face.
He was hurt and embarrassed and a little pissed off.
My heart squeezed uncomfortably, knowing I had made him feel that way.
Even if it wasn’t my fault, even if I would have never kissed Gavin like he thought I did, I still understood what it looked like.
How it probably felt to him like his past was repeating itself all over again.
I just needed to explain all of that to him.
“I—”
Callum cut me off, dropping his voice low and letting his words get lost in the roar of the crowd. I could still hear him, though, loud and clear as he said, “Let's just get through the next hour.”
He might as well have kicked me in the gut. This was not going according to plan, at all. But the crowd was cheering louder, the camera men around us settling into position and the producers scurrying off-stage, all in anticipation of the show that was about to begin.
So I simply nodded at Callum and turned my gaze away, trying to keep my smile in place and hold it all together, as Gemma faced the camera and yelled out, “Welcome to the Bella Amore Live Season Finale!”
***
The finale was proving to be a real test of my emotional fortitude.
When the cameras were rolling and Gemma was talking to Callum and me or to the rest of the cast, Callum was the picture-perfect partner.
He leaned into me, keeping his arm draped around my shoulder and appearing as though he had not a care in the world outside of being close to me.
I was the only one who could see right through it, who could sense just how rigid he was sitting; the only one who knew that he hadn’t actually touched me at all since the show started and that his arm was merely hovering around my back, as far from me as he could get away with.
When Gemma asked him what he was most looking forward to outside the villa he turned to me, gazed down, and said, “I'm just looking forward to some quiet time with Poppy.”
The crowd audibly swooned but my heart sank. Because as soon as the cameras were down or the spotlight was on someone else, he would lean even farther away from me, putting as much space between us as possible.
I kept trying to talk to him between commercial breaks, but he would make a point to turn to one of the other guys and launch into conversation before I could even open my mouth.
It was starting to get on my nerves. We were supposed to be in this together. I knew what he saw, and I knew what it looked like. But not even giving me a chance to explain wasn't fair.
So I started ignoring him at the breaks too.
We played this game for the next fifty minutes, leaning into each other, putting on a nice act, and then pulling away once we were done.
"Thirty seconds on the final break," the director behind camera called out.
We had been instructed to stand and line up behind Gemma for the final segment of the show.
So there I was, teetering in my heels and trying not to think about all the ways in which the night was going horribly wrong.
Before I could even blink, we were live again.
"It’s finally time to announce your winners," Gemma said to the camera. She had a shiny gold envelope in her hand which she shook at the camera before popping it open.
I tried to strain my eyes to see what was written inside, but it was too far away, the writing too small.
"In fourth place . . . " she read out, pausing for effect, "James and Molly!"
The crowd cheered and we all clapped as the pair hugged each other. They waved to the audience and then took their seats back on the bench.
“The next match, coming in third place . . . ” Gemma called out, moving right along with the show, “Chiara and Alfie!”
I let out a yell, cheering for Chiara as she and Alfie waved to the crowd.
And then it was down to the final two matches, Ella and Liam, and Callum and me.
We had made it to the final two.
Winning the show had been the goal all along, was the whole reason Callum and I were even together, but to be on the brink of it now was surreal.
I looked up at Callum and wondered if he felt as off kilter as I did.
“Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for . . . ” Gemma said dramatically.
Callum finally looked back at me, and for the first time all night he didn’t immediately look away.
I kept my gaze on him as Gemma carried on.
“The winners of Bella Amore season seven are…”
A hush fell over the crowd and the weight of the moment ballooned.
This is it. It all comes down to this.
Still staring up at Callum, I reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it in mine. I couldn’t read his expression, couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But he didn’t pull away. Didn’t take his eyes off mine.
And then Gemma was speaking again.
“Callum and Poppy!”
The words hung in the air, the weight of them slowly landing.
We won.
We actually won.
Around us there was chaos—screaming and confetti cannons going off and the audience leaping to their feet.
Through it all, I kept looking at Callum.
His gaze wasn’t one of elation or relief. He didn’t even seem mad anymore. There was only sadness in his eyes as he whispered down to me, “You win.”
We looked at each other through the confetti falling, and it was like time and space stilled; like the Earth slowed down and ceased spinning, all so I could see the hurt in his eyes.
Maybe he could see the same in mine. We’d gotten into this together and now here we were, with everything we wanted.
It was the best possible outcome, and yet it all seemed so trivial. So unimportant, compared to him.
Compared to us.
And then Callum leaned down and kissed me, slow and soft.
Maybe it was for the cameras, maybe it was because that’s what the winners of a reality dating show are supposed to do.
But as we were swarmed by our friends, as we were pulled away for hugs and congratulations, I couldn’t help but feel sick.
Callum’s kiss hadn’t felt fake or for show.
It felt like goodbye.