23. Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Ace
I watch as Scarlet makes her way to the door at the back of the bus. I can’t shake the guilt for having this conversation in front of her. Theo’s furious and clearly drunk, and I’ve never seen him like this—brooding and stewing over shit. I wait until the door clicks shut behind her before shifting my focus completely back to Theo.
Theo downs the last drops of whisky, his eyes narrowing into a glare.
“I don’t get why this is so hard for you, man,” I say, the frustration slipping into my tone. “I’ve tried to explain—”
“Because it’s fucking Scar, dipshit,” he interrupts, his voice rising. “Of all the fucking chicks out there, you had to go after her. I’ve seen your game. I know why you fuck them. So don’t feed me some bullshit story to make it sound alright. This will never be okay.”
I’m at a loss for words. How do I explain this pull I feel towards her, something I’ve never experienced with anyone else? It’s like trying to explain why gravity keeps my feet on the ground—it’s just there.
“Yeah, I know, Theo” I finally admit, feeling the weight of his words settle heavily on my chest. “And I shouldn’t have crossed that line, but like I said before, I do care about her.”
Theo’s eyes flash with anger. “Yeah, right. Until the next chick comes along and wants to suck your fucking cock. You fuck girls to escape the shit in your head, to forget the past. Scar deserves more than that, more than you. And I won't let you treat her like some damn groupie."
I take a deep breath, working to keep my cool. “You think I don’t fucking get that? I’m not here to screw around with her feelings, Theo. Sure, I’ve got a shit track record, but I’m not about to be the asshole who treats her like just another quick fuck. I know she’s got a good heart, and I’m not about to mess with that.”
Theo’s eyes narrow, his gaze sharp. “Then fucking prove it. Scar’s had enough guys mess with her, and this isn’t just about you and me—it’s about what she deserves.” His jaw tightens. “I know you’re no fucking good for her, Ace, but if you’re not gonna keep your distance, then you better fucking deliver. I need to know you’re not just another fuck-up in her life.” He looks at me, his voice low and deadly. “Because if you do, I swear to god you’ll regret it.”
Even though every part of me wants to tell the asshole to fuck off, I have to give him credit. His loyalty, that fire to protect the people he cares about, is something I can’t just brush off—no matter how much it's pissing me off.
“I fucking warned you Ace this would happen,” Xander says coming towards us.
Theo’s eyes snap from me to Xander, betrayal written all over his face. “Wait… you knew about this? You knew what was going on between him and Scarlet?”
I can see it in Theo’s eyes—the hurt, the betrayal. Xander and Theo are close, and Theo looks like he’s just been stabbed in the back.
“Yeah, I knew,” Xander says, his voice steady despite the tension swirling around us.
Theo stands up from the couch, jaw clenched, and storms to the back of the bus without a word. I knew this was coming, everything Xander said has happened, and now here we are, knee-deep in shit. Dragging Xander into this mess was never part of the plan, and it pisses me off that it's gone this far.
“Well, that’s just fucking great,” Xander says, shooting me a sharp look. “Now everyone’s gotta deal with this shit just because you couldn’t keep your cock in your fucking pants.”
It’s been a few days since the blow-up on the bus, and the guilt’s been eating at me nonstop. I can’t stand the fact that I’ve become the wedge driving this tension within the band. Xander’s still pissed, but he’s been sending the occasional text, checking in like he always does. He knows how quickly my mind can spiral, and even though he’s angry, those small gestures tell me that we’ll find a way through this. Maybe, given enough time, we’ll figure out how to get past it all.
Theo? He’s a whole different story. The usual sarcastic asshole has gone dead silent on me—cold shoulder, side-eye, the whole damn package. And honestly, I get it. Sometimes I think he’s right. Scar deserves someone better than me, better than the mess I bring. Deep down, I know I’ll never be the guy she really needs, the one she deserves.
I can’t help but wonder if Xander went through this same shit with Poppy all those years ago. But I doubt it. He knew what love felt like because of his mother, even if it was just for a short time. Me? I’ve never had that. Never had anyone show me what love is supposed to feel like. So how the fuck am I supposed to recognize it if it’s staring me right in the face? I don’t even know if these feelings I’ve got are love. And if they are, I don’t want it. It’s screwing with my head, making me do things I wouldn’t normally do. It’s making me... soft. And I fucking hate it.
I’ve been holed up in my room for hours, feeling like I’m teetering on a tightrope. One wrong move, and everything could blow up all over again. I’m not ready to face the band, not after all the shit that’s happened. But damn, this boredom is starting to gnaw at me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
Lying on the bed, I scroll through my phone, and it’s the same old shit. Headlines plastered with my mother’s face, each one, dragging me back to all the shit she put me through as a kid. Here I am, twenty-five years old, still feeling like that powerless little kid she hurt time and time again. It infuriates me that she still has that hold on me.
I toss my phone aside and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do next. Maybe I’ll head down to the pool for a swim. Fuck, what if Theo’s down there? It already stings that he’s giving me the silent treatment. Who would’ve thought I’d actually miss that annoying dickhead and all his bullshit?
I sit up, frustration boiling over as I swing my legs over the side of the bed, my feet sinking into the plush carpet. Before everything went to shit, Xander gave me a song he was working on. Maybe I should dive into that—at least it’ll give me something to focus on, something to help me pass the time.
I get off the bed and grab a joint from my bag, lighting it up, hoping it’ll help relax me and clear my head. After I grab my guitar and go to sit down, there’s a knock at the door. With guitar in hand, I walk over and glance through the peephole to find Xander standing there.
I open the door and step back to let Xander in. He glances at the instrument in my hand and raises a brow.
"You working on that song I gave you?" he asks, stepping inside.
"Yeah," I reply, wondering why he’s here. If he's come to lecture me about all the shit that’s happened, he can turn his ass around and walk right out of here. Hell, I’ll even hold the door open for the bastard.
I walk over to the bed, toss my guitar down, and then head over to the couch, sitting beside him. His eyes follow my every move, like he’s just waiting for me to break the silence, to say something first.
“What’s up?” I ask, feeling the tension thick in the air.
I pass the joint to him, like old times, sharing it the way we used to when we’d just sit around, shoot the shit, and let all the crap in our heads float away.
He grabs the joint, taking a slow, deliberate drag, before handing it back to me. “Just haven’t seen much of you these past few days. Thought I’d check in.”
“Thought I’d keep my distance,” I reply, running my hand across the back of my neck.
“I wanted to see how you’re holding up with all the shit still going on with your mother,” he says, watching me closely, his gaze piercing through the mask I’m trying to wear.
I take a drag from the joint, exhaling slowly before answering. Despite everything that’s happened, even with him pissed at me, Xander still gives a damn about the shit I’ve been through, the demons I’m stuck fighting. He’s always been my bro, and that’s one thing I know won’t ever change.
“Everywhere I fucking look, she’s there, sprouting her shit,” I say, glancing at him. “I don’t know why she’s doing it.”
“Do you want to set the record straight?” he asks. “I know it’s hard, but it might shut her up.”
I look away, staring across the room. “I can’t go there, man. I can’t relive all that shit again, even if it means she’ll finally shut the fuck up.”
“Okay,” he replies, his expression shifting to something serious. “I need to ask you something, and I want you to be straight with me, Ace. No bullshit.”
I glance back at him, curiosity creeping in about where this is going. Our conversations lately have shifted from the usual bullshit to more serious, grown-up topics. Guess that’s what happens when you get older—things get deeper. Or maybe it’s because Xander’s got Poppy and Alex now, letting his guard down a bit. But now I can’t shake the feeling that he’s about to probe into this thing with Scarlet. Even without him saying a word, that thought has me shifting uncomfortably.
“Scarlet,” he says. “Why the hell couldn’t you stay away from her when I asked you to, Ace?” He leans over and takes the joint from my fingers.
I direct my gaze to the floor, the weight of his question pressing down on me. How the hell do I explain this magnetic pull I feel whenever she’s around? I don’t even know where to start, but he asked for the truth, and that’s what I’m going to give him.
Finally, I look up and meet his gaze. “I don’t know why. Every time I tried, I just couldn’t put any distance between us.”
He nods, studying me closely. “Seriously, man, do you actually enjoy being around her? Like, beyond just the physical stuff. I mean, can you just chill and talk, or is it all about the sex?”
“Fuck, what is this, twenty questions?” I shoot back, trying to lighten the mood. But honestly, I’m baffled about why the hell he’s digging into this. We never talk about shit like this.
“Just humor me, Ace,” he replies, passing me the joint.
“Yeah, with her it’s more than just fucking around,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “We actually sit and talk about stuff—shit I’ve never shared with anyone before.”
With a smirk on his face, he leans back on the couch, making me feel stupid for laying out all that mushy crap. Shaking his head, he mutters, “Fuck.”
“What?” I ask.
“I’ve been there, Ace,” he says, a nostalgic look creeping into his eyes. “Those confusing-as-shit thoughts you’re dealing with, wondering why the fuck you can’t just walk away from her like you’ve done with every other chick you’ve hooked up with. It’s as confusing as shit right now, isn’t it? And let me tell you, it doesn’t go away.”
He’s right—it’s confusing as hell. I don’t have a clue where this conversation is going, so I stay quiet and let him keep talking.
“Remember that night we ditched school and crashed at your place, working on those last three songs?” Xander says.
“Yeah.” A smile creeps onto my face as the memory hits me, crystal clear. That night, we dreamed about escaping that shit hole of a town—our last taste of freedom, where we were just kids chasing the life we wanted so badly. We even made plans with the cash I’d lifted from my mother’s dickhead boyfriends. But after that night, a few days later, Xander was never the same. I take another drag from the joint.
“Those nights I tried to stay away from Poppy, she was all I could think about. Didn’t realize it back then, but I was in love with her,” he says. “I fought it hard, Ace. I fought it like hell because it didn’t sit right with me. To feel like that when I’d never given a shit about anyone else before.” He pauses to gauge my reaction. “I spoke with Poppy last night and told her everything that’s been going on. She thinks it might be more than what I’m seeing. That your feelings for Scarlet might be genuine, even if you don’t know it yet.”
I choke on the smoke in my lungs. No way he’s thinking this has anything to do with that love bullshit everyone keeps talking about. I cough again, trying to clear my throat. “Forget sharing any of this shit with Poppy—this isn’t some love shit.” I watch him flash that smug smirk. “And don’t you two have better things to talk about than me?”
He laughs out loud, and for the first time since he arrived, it feels like the old Xander—the one who makes everything seem a little less heavy. “Trust me, we’ve got way better shit to talk about than your ugly ass. I was just venting about what’s been bugging me.”
Hearing that he shares stuff like that with Poppy doesn’t surprise me; I’ve seen how they are together. She calms Xander down, and he turns into a different person around her. I’m different around Scarlet, too—not at all like I am with the guys. Maybe there’s something to what he’s saying, but I’m still not buying into this love crap.
“How’s Theo been with you lately?” I ask, trying to shift the subject.
“Still quiet. Doesn’t say much,” Xander replies.
“I’m sorry, man. I never meant to come between you guys.”
“He’ll come around.”
“You know, he used to drive me nuts with his bullshit. And if you tell him this, I’ll deny it faster than you can blink—but I actually miss that fucker.” I pause, staring off into space as I reflect on the mess I’ve made. “I’ve got no fucking clue how to fix things with Nate and Theo,” I admit, frustration lacing my words. “How do I make them see that I’d never treat their sister like some fucking groupie?”
“Trust me, I get it,” Xander replies. “I could never talk to you about that stuff either. It’s tough. All you can do is show up. Stop avoiding them.”
My phone buzzes, jolting me out of my relaxed state. I hand the joint to Xander and get up to see what the notification is about. It’s a text from Kit.
Kit: Hey, where r u?
Ace: In my room. Why?
Kit: Stay there. I’m on my way.
I stare at the screen, trying to wrap my head around what the hell is going on. Xander, noticing the shift in my expression, puts out the joint.
“What’s going on?” he asks, leaning forward on the couch.
“Kit’s on her way,” I reply.
Just as the words leave my mouth, there’s a knock at the door. I move over, open it, and step back to let her in. She walks by, flashing me a tender smile, and then sits down in the chair opposite Xander.
“What the hell has she done now?” I ask, bracing for the worst. It’s got to be about my mother—why else would Kit be here? I move back to the couch and sit down beside Xander. "Just give it to me straight. No bullshit.”
Kit glances at her phone, then back at me. “It’s not about your mother—it’s your sister, Daisy. She reached out.”
Her name hits me like a punch to the gut, a reminder of how she, just like everyone else, bailed when I needed her the most. Fuck, they’re all crawling out of the woodwork now. Next, it’ll be my father—whoever the fuck he is. I was barely old enough to remember anything about him.
“What did she want? Is she trying to cash in on my fucked-up childhood too?” I ask, feeling the anger simmering beneath the surface.
“She just reached out, Ace,” Kit replies, her tone steady. “She wants to connect with you.”
“No.” I push myself off the couch and start pacing. “She walked away a long time ago. Didn’t give a fuck about me then, so why the hell should I care now?”
Kit stands up and walks over to me. “If you change your mind, let me know. She gave me her number.” She offers me a soft smile before exiting the room, leaving me and Xander in a silence that feels heavy as hell.
I stand there, feeling the weight of it all. If I hadn’t lost my shit on that fucking camera, none of this would be coming back to haunt me. I glance at Xander, who’s sitting there, watching me like he’s waiting for me to crack.
I stay quiet for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. Xander’s gaze doesn’t waver, and it pisses me off how calm he looks.
“What?” I finally snap, running my hands through my hair and tugging at the roots, as if that'll somehow relieve all this pressure.
He leans back, crossing his arms. “So what’s it gonna be, Ace? You gonna let this shit eat you alive, or are you gonna do something about it?”
I scoff and start pacing the room. “Do what? Call her up and act like the last how many fucking years didn’t happen? Like she didn’t bail on me and leave me to handle all that shit by myself?”
Xander stays silent, letting my words hang in the air, heavy and suffocating.
I stop and turn to him, my chest rising and falling. “You can’t talk. Remember what happened when you faced your old man again? This isn’t any different.“
“But she wasn’t the one who did any of that shit to you, Ace.”
“No, but she fucking walked out and left me to deal with it alone.” I shake my head. “You really think calling her is gonna fix everything? You want me to forgive her? Act like none of it ever happened. Fuck that.”
“No one’s asking you to forgive her,” he replies softly. “But maybe talking to her and asking her why she left could give you some answers.”
I walk over and sit back on the couch, slumping against the cushions. “I don’t know if I can do it, man.”
Xander and I sit in silence for a while. His presence is steady, grounding me. We don’t need words; the weight of our shared experiences is enough to know that we’re not alone in our struggles.
Eventually, he shifts the conversation to last night's show and how everything we’ve been working for since leaving the label is finally starting to come together. It’s a hell of a lot easier to focus on that—on the wins, on the music. He mentions meeting up with Walter later today for a drink and asks if I want to tag along.
I decline. I’m not in the mood to pretend everything's okay and slap on a happy face for the day.
After Xander heads out, I grab my phone and shoot a quick text to Scarlet. Being around her always pulls me out of my head, like she’s got this way of cutting through all the noise.
Ace: What r u doing?
I stare at the screen, waiting for those damn bubbles to pop up, but they never do. Impatience gnaws at me, and I start second-guessing myself. I should’ve just walked over there. Her room’s only three doors down.
Fuck it. I shove my phone into my pocket, slip on my shoes, and within seconds, I’m out the door, striding down the hall toward Scarlet’s room.
I knock, and she opens it almost immediately. That smile hits me straight in the chest, the kind that makes everything feel right because I know I’m the reason it’s there. “Hey,” I mutter as I step inside.
Without a second thought, I pull her close to me the instant the door clicks shut. No words, just a desperate need to kiss her, to feel her close. As our lips meet, she melts into the kiss.
When I pull back, I take a moment to soak her in—those eyes, that smile, the way she lights up the room just by being here. “What do you want to do today?” I ask, curious about her plans. Yesterday, she and Theo spent time sightseeing together, and I’m relieved that, at least with him, I haven’t screwed things up like I have between him and Xander.
“Not much,” she replies, crossing the room, before glancing back at me with a grin. “I’ve got something to show you,” she adds, reaching for her phone. “Oh, you texted me,” she notices, her eyes lighting up. “I was in the shower.”
The thought of her soaping up that hot, naked body causes my cock to twitch. I can’t help but wish I’d been there with her— feeling her slick, wet skin under my hands, holding her against the wall, listening to her moan as I pound into her. My mind races with all the things I’d do if I had been there.
But then she’s back, focused on her phone, swiping and tapping, yanking me out of my daydream as she moves closer, bringing whatever she’s been checking out with her.
“I get what you’re saying,” she replies, letting out that soft laugh I could listen to for hours. She angles her phone toward me, revealing Theo in all his glory—sporting those ridiculous sideburns and that porn-stache. “I told him he looks like a joke, and he actually seemed to love it. He’s such a moron,” she adds, shaking her head with a smile.
As I study the photo, an unexpected wave of nostalgia crashes over me. Shit, I miss that idiot way more than I thought I would. His stupid comments and relentless teasing—it's wild to realize how much I crave that banter, but here I am. Not that I’d ever say that to his face, though.
“Want to grab a bite at the restaurant downstairs?” I ask, not really caring what we do as long as we’re together. I need to make it clear to Scarlet—and everyone else—that this isn’t just about sex, even if the thought of making her come on my cock is always there in the back of my mind. But it’s about so much more than that.
Scarlet shoots me that playful look, like she knows exactly what I’m thinking. "Sure, let's go," she says, snatching her jacket off the back of the couch.
As we step out, I take her hand in mine. The silence between us feels easy, comfortable, but it’s also the kind of silence that lets my mind wander. I start to think about all the shit still weighing on me—Theo, my mom, and Daisy, my sister.
We stroll down the hall, and as we turn the corner, we nearly crash into Theo. He’s just come from the pool, looking like a wet dog with that goofy grin plastered on his face. For a moment, I almost forget the tension between us. His gaze drops to our entwined hands, and I see his jaw tighten with a hint of unease.
“Where are you two headed?” he asks, trying to sound casual, but I can tell he’s testing the waters. I’m curious about what went down between him and Scarlet yesterday—usually, he’d be losing his shit by now.
Scarlet glances at me, then back at Theo. “Just grabbing something to eat. You wanna join?”
I hold my breath, waiting to see if Theo’s going to blow us off or tag along.
“Yeah, why not?” he finally says. “I could use a bite.”
As he moves forward, Scarlet and I hang back, waiting for him to disappear into his room. My gaze remains fixed on the door, contemplating whether it might be better to let Theo and Scarlet grab something to eat on their own. But if I want to show Theo that my connection with Scarlet is genuine, and not just fucking like everyone assumes, I need to step up and prove myself to him. Normally, I wouldn’t give a damn about Theo’s opinion, but with this, I do.
Within a few minutes, Theo’s back, wearing jeans and a shirt, his hair still damp from the pool. He shoots me a look, as if daring me to say something. I meet his gaze head-on, a playful smirk on my face, showing him that his attempts to intimidate me won’t work. He strides past me, his footsteps echoing down the hall as he makes his way toward the elevator.
I watch him go, the smirk firmly planted on my face. Yeah, bring it on, asshole. Show me what you’ve got. I’m ready for whatever shit you throw my way.
Scarlet and I fall in line behind Theo as we wait for the elevator. When the bell dings and the doors slide open, he steps inside and moves to the back wall. We enter, our backs turned to him, but I can feel his gaze boring into me, scrutinizing every single move I make.
I start to wonder what this must look like to Theo. He’s never seen me like this before. It’s always been the same old story—Ace, the guy who chases anything with two legs just to get his dick wet. I know he thinks that’s exactly what I’m doing with Scarlet, and I’ve got no idea how to prove him wrong.
I’m not one for romantic bullshit. Hell, even when Xander started showing affection toward Poppy after they finally worked their shit out, it felt weird seeing my friend like that. I guess it’s the same for Theo. He’s never seen me like this, and no wonder he’s got a fucking problem.
The elevator doors slide open, and Theo brushes past us, stepping out of the lift. I can’t help but smirk at the idiot, knowing we’ve got some shit to settle.
“Theo,” I call out. He stops a few steps away, hesitating as if weighing whether to turn around and hear me out or just keep walking.
“What?” Theo snaps, still facing away but ensuring Scarlet and I have to part to get around him. She hesitates at his side for a moment before heading toward the bar, leaving us to sort out this shit. I know this isn’t the best place to air our problems for the world to see, but damn it, something’s gotta give. I step right in front of him, locking eyes as he does the same with me.
“We need to talk,” I say, my tone firm. "About Xander."
Theo doesn’t say a word, he just stands there, a wall of silence between us. I need to know if things between him and Xander are okay.
I grasp his arm and guide us into a secluded corridor, away from prying eyes. If this is my only shot to talk to him—since he’s been ignoring all my texts and calls—then this is where we’re having this conversation.
“Xander’s not at fault here,” I say firmly. “I am.”
“So you’re telling me he didn’t know you fucked Scar?” Theo’s voice is raw, hurt seeping through his tone.
I swallow hard. “Yeah, he knew,” I admit, not backing down.
“And that is the problem,” Theo snaps.
“Seriously, Theo, what the hell did you expect Xander to say?” I shoot back. “He told me to stay the fuck away from Scarlet. Would you have walked up to him if he had a sister and told him who she was fucking?”
Theo swallows hard.
“Yeah, I thought not,” I press on, my voice steady. “Look, I know this shit looks fucked up. I swear to you, that I will never hurt her. I don’t want to do that kind of shit.”
He stays quiet, and I fucking hate that he’s not throwing me his usual bullshit. “Will you just fucking talk to me, asshole?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Ace. Look, she cares about you way more than you care about her. She made that perfectly clear.”
Fuck, this shit’s getting way too real. I’d give anything to see Theo back to his usual cocky self instead of this serious, hurt person before me. He needs something solid, something real—and I don’t know if I can pull that off. But fuck it, I’m gonna give it a go.
I take a deep breath, bracing myself to lay it all out for him. I’m not even sure what Scarlet’s told him, but this is what he needs to hear from me.
“I need you to listen to me without cutting me off. If you interrupt, I won’t be able to get through this, and it’s hard enough as it is.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, giving me that look of his—the one that says he’s clueless about where this is going.
“You know what it's like with me and chicks,” I say. “I just fuck them and walk away.” His jaw tightens, and I realize this isn't the best way to start. “But I swear, it’s not like that with Scar.” I pause, searching for the right words.
“Go on,” Theo says. At least he’s willing to listen now. But it’s tough to find the right way to say this, especially to someone like Theo, who’s been through the same shit and uses sex as a way to forget all the crap life throws at us.
“I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s just not about the sex with Scarlet.” I catch a glimpse of something in Theo’s expression—maybe he doesn’t want to hear about the sex part since he thinks of her like a sister. But I push on anyway. “I genuinely enjoy hanging out with her. Last week, we just chilled by a lake, talking about random shit. It’s not some game or a fling; it’s different. I get that you might not believe me, but it’s…” I let out a sigh. “I don’t fucking know, and I know it sounds fucked up coming from me, but it’s not just about a quick fix or getting off. It’s about being with her, really talking, and spending time together. I can open up to her about stuff that I can’t discuss with anyone else. I’m not asking you to just take my word for it, Theo, but I need you to at least give me a shot to prove it.”
He eyes me for a moment, his gaze sharp and unyielding. “You hurt her, Ace, and you’re dead to me.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I reply, appreciating his loyalty.