Chapter Five
Gliding over the dance floor to the melodic notes of the waltz, Nell delighted in the feel of her partner’s arms. Even so, she wondered if she was playing with fire.
She studied the strong lines of his face.
Rafe’s features were more chiseled now, more defined.
Tiny whispers of lines feathered from the corners of his eyes, while an evening’s growth of stubble edged the line of his jaw.
He was the same man she had loved. But now, he bore marks of maturity, signs he had weathered a storm and survived.
What had happened in the many months they’d been apart?
“It occurs to me that I don’t even know what to call you. Is it Henry now? Or shall we be quite proper, Your Grace?”
“I am Rafe,” he said, a rawness in his tone. He dipped his head lower, and for a heartbeat, she thought he might kiss her. But instead, he whispered against her ear, “With you, I will always be Rafe.”
Subtle notes of bergamot and crisp soap filled her senses. “In some respects, it feels as if time stood still for so very long. Yet we’re here, together, pretending we are merely two people moving in time to the music.”
“I am not pretending, Nell.” His hand rested gently on the small of her back, and he drew her closer, the move subtle and utterly proper. And yet keenly sensual. “I am savoring every moment of holding you in my arms.”
The music ebbed, and the members of the chamber orchestra stepped away for a brief pause. As the dancers made their way off the floor, many hand in hand, Rafe led her to the corner where they enjoyed a modicum of privacy.
A white-capped server passed by, offering an assortment of beverages. Nell selected a soda water from the girl’s tray and took a quick sip.
As the server walked briskly away, Rafe reached out to Nell. Very gently, he drew his fingertips along the curve of her jaw. His touch might have been considered chaste. But the hunger in his eyes stirred her own need. Stirred the longing in her heart.
“You’re beautiful, Nell,” he said, seeming to search her face. “Even more beautiful than I remember.”
Dipping his head low, he brushed a kiss over her temple. Tender. Delicious. And so very sensuous. His adoring caress stoked the fire within her, from kindling to a blaze.
Her rebellious emotions wanted more than a kiss. More than a tender touch.
Rein it in. The few shreds of common sense she still possessed urged her to douse these flames before they surged well past the point of control.
She stepped back, putting a slight distance between them. Taking another drink, she studied him. And then she posed the question that had drifted into her thoughts.
“Why did you come here tonight?” She spoke evenly. Rather precisely. “As I recall, you detest these sorts of affairs.”
“I was invited,” he said, deliberately vague. “How could I possibly miss my cousin’s nuptials?”
“Your bond is close, I see.”
“One could say that.” He shrugged. “Or I could tell you the truth.”
Nell studied him for a moment, debating whether to take the bait. Seeing the heat in his eyes, she gave in. “And what might that be?”
Rafe strategically cleared his throat. “Nell, I came here to see you.”
Her pulse thrummed in her ears, but she pulled in a breath and stripped the emotion from her tone. “I cannot fathom what you thought to accomplish.”
“I’d been told you were faring well,” he said. “I intended to see for myself.”
“Now you have verified that fact with your own eyes,” she said. “I do hope your curiosity was satisfied.”
“My interest has nothing to do with curiosity.” His eyes seemed to darken as he studied her face. “I needed to see you again. I had considered calling upon you like a bolt out of the blue. But the time was never right.”
“Is that so?” She narrowed her eyes at him, hoping he could sense the tiny daggers in her gaze. “You believed attending a wedding was preferable to out of the blue?”
“Preferable to a door closed in my face,” he said bluntly.
She took another sip of water. “Well, then consider this the equivalent of a door slamming.”
She turned on her heel, intent on walking away. Intent on leaving him behind to break some other foolish woman’s heart.
“Bloody hell, I’ve missed you, Nell.”
The raw timbre of his voice froze her in her tracks.
As she turned, she met his gaze. He raked a hand through his chestnut-brown hair.
Heaven knew she’d missed him so very desperately. But she could not let down her guard. Not completely, at least.
“Rafe, there is a chasm between us.”
“A chasm I fully intend to bridge.”
“You sound quite sure of yourself,” she said. “I would not be so confident.”
“I have to be,” he said with a sense of finality. “I need to believe there is another chance.”
Reaching for her, he framed her face in his hands. His dark gaze locked with hers as her pulse throbbed in her ears. The touch felt so very intimate. So very right.
But was it? Could she trust him with her tender emotions?
“I want to kiss you, Nell.” His words were a raw whisper against her lips.
God above, she wanted it too. His caress. His touch. His tenderness.
But she could not risk her heart. Not again.
Offering no warning, she pulled away. His eyes searched hers so intently, it seemed he could see into her very soul. She was on dangerous ground.
She had to end this.
And she had to end it now.
“I cannot do this.” Her words were simple. Yet they appeared to strike their target. “I cannot risk my heart. Not again. Goodbye, Rafe.”
Slowly, careful not to be so very dramatic that she might draw attention she neither wanted nor needed, she turned away. With purposeful steps, she crossed the room to where Macie stood with Finn.
She glanced behind her.
This time, he did not follow her.
Nell’s heart raced. This was what she wanted.
Wasn’t it?
How dare this man come crashing back into her life like a rogue wave, knocking her off kilter! She had to protect herself before she was swept away by a dream that was not to be. She had to guard her heart.
Pity the thought gave her no comfort. Perhaps it was already too late. For in that moment, what she’d really wanted—more than anything she had ever wanted in her life—was for Rafe to cross that ballroom, take her in his arms, and kiss her until she was weak in the knees.
But he did not pursue her.
He did not chase after her.
Rather, he’d left her. Just as he’d done all those long months ago.
It was as if he’d shattered her all over again.