Chapter 4 Drew
Drew
The best photographers knew how to be invisible.
How to step into a party filled with glamorous people letting go of their inhibitions and fade into the background enough to capture them at their most honest. How to roam around a crowd with a camera in hand and blend into the scenery so that each image they captured felt raw and unstaged.
And for a few moments that night, with his black blazer, silver press lanyard, and unassuming camera, Drew was practically invisible.
A shadow among the beautiful people in dazzling dresses and expensive suits.
Drew weaved his way through the party and watched it unfold with quiet awe.
He took photos of the champagne tower and then the DJ dancing behind the booth.
There was a Premier League football player on her right and a Grammy Award–winning rapper on her left.
They were both drunkenly bobbing their heads and shouting song requests Drew knew she would never play.
But the juxtaposition between their polished outfits and messy demeanor felt so stark that he had to capture it.
The party was a visual feast, and Drew wanted his camera to devour every second.
Unlike his sister, who’d always thrived at parties and immediately got lost in the crowd, Drew was more comfortable standing on the sidelines.
Which is why his grandmother had given him a green disposable Fujifilm camera for his seventh birthday.
Drew was a shy kid, so at first the camera became something to hide behind.
A barrier between him and everybody else.
But as the years went on, it became his favorite way of seeing the world.
In high school, he’d taken his camera with him every day to take photos of his friends.
He’d spent his freshman year of college taking portraits of the most interesting people on campus, and, after deciding to major in photography, he’d spent his sophomore nights doing freelance gigs for local newspapers and popular websites.
But his real dream was to become a sports photographer.
There was something about the atmosphere of a game, both on the field and in the stands, that always pulled him in.
He loved watching the crowds’ reactions and following the small melodramas that unfolded as supporters celebrated, fought, and channeled all of their energy into their favorite game.
Which is how he’d met his ex-girlfriend, Sade.
Her dad was a senior exec at the football team he’d interned at last summer, and they’d met at a preseason celebration.
As Drew looked around at the New Year’s event, he couldn’t help but notice the same out-of-place feeling he’d felt in LA creeping up on him.
“Drew, you promised me you wouldn’t get all weird and existential in the middle of the party,” said Thandie, materializing from the crowd in a purple jumpsuit and passing him a Negroni that immediately pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Who said I was getting weird and existential?” he asked, taking a sip before shaking his head. As much as he wanted to loosen up, he couldn’t afford to drink on the job.
“Your face? You look miserable,” she said, shaking her head and then examining him. “Are you thinking about Sade again?”
“I wasn’t,” he said. But now that she’d brought his ex-girlfriend up, he was. Wondering if she was spending her New Year’s Eve in LA with all their college friends and whether or not they missed him. He wasn’t heartbroken about the breakup, but he still felt blindsided by the ending.
“I just don’t understand how…” Drew began. His sister sighed and put her hand out as if to give him permission to talk it out.
“I just don’t understand how something that meant everything to me meant so little to her that she would just hook up with some random football player?
His performance last season was below average, and he’s holding a fish in pretty much every photo he’s ever posted.
He has nothing going for him,” Drew said, voicing the thoughts he’d been suppressing all week.
“Except being a professional football player,” his sister teased.
“He’s just a basic bro,” Drew said dismissively.
“And being a photographer, whose dream job is to follow professional athletes around the world, makes you … less basic?”
“I have a personality; it’s different,” Drew said, knowing how ridiculous he sounded. But he couldn’t help it. His ex-girlfriend had cheated on him. And now, she and her new boyfriend were moving on while his life fell apart.
“Well, I don’t know the guy. But on your behalf, I’ll hate him too.” Thandie nodded in solidarity.
“And another thing.” Drew wasn’t done. “When I took photos at the stadium, I got to know all the players, and he was the only one who never said thank you to the team staff at the end of the day. Nobody in the stadium liked him, he was such an asshole. Sade used to think so, too, so it’s wild that they somehow just accidentally ended up together. She didn’t even have the decency to—”
“What if we just hatch a plan to break them up, hmm? Get him kicked off the team and her kicked out of USC?” Thandie said, as if genuinely thinking it through.
“You were never in love with her and admitted that the breakup just bruised your ego. But if getting in the way of their happiness is what it takes to make you feel okay again, I can make it happen,” she continued, turning to face him.
“In fact, I know a guy who could just completely get rid of them … if that would stop you from whining about your ex-girlfriend in the middle of the coolest party of the year!”
“Okay, okay, I get it, I’m killing—”
“You’re killing the vibe. Yes, you are, Drew,” she said, but he knew she didn’t mean any harm.
Tough love was just the way his sister took care of the people around her.
Drew had been wallowing in the aftermath of his breakup for months and he knew she was the only one who would try and kick him out of his funk.
“Alright, alright. No more Sade talk for the rest of the night,” he promised, knowing that rehashing the breakup wouldn’t change a thing. It was California he missed the most, anyway.
“Trust me, you’ll enjoy yourself more if you stop thinking about her, at least for the next couple of hours, okay?
Drink your drink, take some photos, and live a little!
” she said, shaking him by the shoulders until he lightened up.
“It’s New Year’s Eve. I’m going to go and dance for a bit, but I better not see you sulking when I come back. ”
“I can’t guarantee it.”
Thandie rolled her eyes.
“At least try to look like you’re having fun,” she said, giving him a pointed look and then heading back to the dance floor to find her friends.
But Drew couldn’t help himself. It was only a matter of minutes before he was reaching for his phone, going onto Instagram, and subjecting himself to the quiet torture of seeing his college friends move on without him.
As soon as he pressed PLAY on Sade’s Instagram story, he was hit with a photo of her new boyfriend and a bunch of their friends by the beach.
They’d rented out a place in Big Sur and were having a party without him.
It stung because that trip was Drew’s idea.
He’d been the one to want to spend New Year’s Eve with all their friends in California.
But they’d broken up and he’d left so abruptly that they’d gone ahead and went without him.
It stung to know that their lives were moving on while his stagnated.
So, he put his phone away, tossed his drink back, and focused on his assignment.
He held his camera up and tried to lose himself in the visual potential of the crowd.
When he found a group of Formula One drivers popping bottles by the bar, he angled his camera to get a shot of them from above.
Then he adjusted the exposure settings to capture the way the disco ball reflected shards of light onto a pop star being thrust into the middle of a dance circle.
As he watched the people around him let loose, Drew tried his best to convince himself he was having fun.
But he couldn’t spend the entire night surrounded by people having the time of their lives when his own felt like such a mess.
The contrast between their joy and his melancholy was too great.
It was 11:44 p.m., sixteen minutes before midnight.
He knew it was too early to go back to the hotel.
He had a job to do after all. But he figured that there was just enough time to make a quick, temporary escape.
If he left now, he could be back on the dance floor by midnight.
So, he walked down the hallway and opened a door that looked like an exit.
There, he saw a set of stairs labeled ROOF ACCESS.
Some time alone would do him good. So, Drew buttoned up his blazer, left the party, and braced himself for the winter air.