Chapter 30 Drew #2
He sensed the shift in the room before he saw her.
A few people seated at the tables around him were glancing up and looking at the front door.
A couple next to him, one of whom was wearing a Team GB snowboarding jacket, whispered between themselves.
Drew lifted his eyes up and then glanced in the direction they were looking at.
And as he did, he felt his breath catch.
Ari had just walked in through the front door and undone the zip of her winter coat to reveal a long, purple dress that shimmered under the dim lights of the restaurant.
Her curly hair bounced against her shoulders as she walked in, and the light from the candles on each table hit her crystal earrings, making them look like tiny mirror balls reflecting across the restaurant.
She looked beautiful. But it wasn’t the dress or the earrings or the hair, it was her face that lit up the room.
All she was doing was smiling, but the way her eyes shone made Drew feel like they were the only two people in the room.
As if there was nowhere in the world he’d rather be than under her gaze.
“Congratulations!” he said as he walked over to give her a hug. He’d seen the news that based on Team GB’s current rankings, relative to the other teams in their group, they had a pretty solid chance of staying in the top three and advancing to the quarterfinals.
“We still have one more game to play,” Ari said cautiously, but he could tell by the way her eyes lit up that she knew the odds were in her favor.
He walked over to the other side of the table to pull out her chair.
“Drew, I can get my own chair,” she said, shaking her head.
“And if I were your friend, I would let you. But—”
“But you’re my boyfriend,” she said as she remembered.
He glanced over at her and smiled as she nodded and sat down.
The tension between them was flickering as if they’d already had a drink or two and were beginning to loosen up.
There was a sense of anticipation in the air, the early sparks of possibility. It felt like a real date.
Drew and Ari were seated right next to the window that looked out on a night sky full of stars.
There was a quietly magical playlist of contemporary jazz music playing above them, and the main source of light came from candles that filled the room with a gentle, romantic glow.
The dark sky, low lights, and feeling of being alone together just feet away from a crowd reminded Drew of the night they’d first met.
“You look nervous,” he said, noticing the way her eyes flickered around the room.
“I am. I just saw a few people I recognized on the way in. I can feel them watching us.”
“I thought that was the whole idea,” he said softly.
“Yeah, it just makes me … self-conscious,” she said with a gentle exhale. Without thinking, he reached his arm across the table and stretched out his hand. She grasped it like a life preserver.
“It’s weird,” she began, “I always feel so assured on the rink. I’m the most confident version of myself on the ice. But no matter how hard I’ve been trying to play up the role of the confident captain, I’m just not there yet.”
“I thought the plan was to just fake it till you make it?” he asked.
“I tried that, it doesn’t work,” she sighed, stirring her straw around her glass. “You know when you watch a film and get to the point where you can feel everything about to go on a downward spiral?”
Drew nodded; he was way more familiar with that feeling than he wanted to be.
“I’ve felt that way ever since New Year’s Eve. I’m keeping it together for the sake of the team, and I would never admit it to them, but I have no idea if we’re going to win our next game, or any other game.”
“Isn’t that part of the fun, though? Not knowing how it will end?” he wondered, thinking about how he felt whenever he took a photo with a film camera. It was an act of blind hope.
“Maybe it would be if it was just about me. But it’s the whole team, you know? I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t make it to the quarterfinals. How I’ll even be able to look them in the eye.”
“But is it really your responsibility to figure everything out?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation.
“Why?”
“Because … I’m the captain, and the girls look up to me. It’s my responsibility to make sure we win.”
“But it’s their responsibility, too. Have you tried talking to them about how you feel? It seems like you’re carrying it all by yourself,” he said.
“I can carry it by myself,” she said with a touch of defensiveness. “I know how to handle things. I’ve been doing it my whole life.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to.”
Drew absentmindedly ran his thumb up and down the side of her hand before glancing down. He began to pull away, but she drew him back. This time she was the one tracing her fingers against his skin. He glanced down at their intertwined hands and then up at her.
“If your teammates are the way you describe them, you have people in your life that love you. You don’t have to do it all alone to prove a point.”
“Do you take your own advice?” she asked.
“What would be the fun in that?” He smiled, thinking of all the truths he held back from those he loved. “Why tell my family the truth when I can share my secrets with strange girls on rooftops in the middle of parties?”
“Ugh, I regret that,” she laughed.
“Why?” he said, trying to sound casual. She looked up at the ceiling and then at him.
“Because … in normal circumstances, I would never tell a guy I liked all my secrets within minutes of meeting him.”
“Really?” he asked, deciding not to latch on to the “guy I liked” part of the sentence.
“If I’d known I’d see you again, I would have played it cool.” She shrugged.
“Okay, so what would you do differently if this was our very first date?”
She took a sip of her drink and carefully studied his face. She did that a lot, but he couldn’t work out what she was looking for.
“I would have leaned over and told you all my best stories. Acted like we were in on the same jokes, given you a few conspiratorial smiles,” she said, aiming one at him.
“I should have just flirted a little and kept it cute. Simple and fun. But instead, I let myself be messy and honest. Who wants that on a first date?”
“I do,” he said. She shook her head.
“No. If I’d told you all of that on a real first date, you would have run away.”
“Like you did?”
“When did I run … Oh, yeah,” she said, no doubt remembering the sound of footsteps and fireworks.
“I don’t blame you for leaving, though. I wouldn’t have told you all my real red flags on a first date either … or the specific ways I’d end up disappointing you.”
“If you could redo that night, what would you do differently?” she asked, tilting her head.
“I would have just tried to make you laugh.” He shrugged.
“Turned on the charm to try and get you to like me, flirted without coming on too strong. Talked enough to show I have a personality, but given all your stories my full attention,” he said with a nod.
“I probably would have kissed you sooner, too.”
“I wanted you to kiss me sooner.”
They sat in silence for a moment, as if they’d been transported back to the roof to start again. But as Drew looked into Ari’s eyes and thought about the past few days they’d spent together, he realized he had no regrets.
“I’m glad it didn’t play out that way. Not the kissing part—I definitely should have kissed you sooner.” He smiled, taking a sip of his drink. “I mean that I’m glad we didn’t pretend with each other. That we were completely ourselves from the start.”
All that either of them had ever wanted was to be with someone who knew their flaws and liked them anyway. Someone who didn’t require perfection but for whom they wanted to become the best version of themselves.
“Imagine if everyone was like that from the get-go?” he said. “Messy and honest.”
“Nobody would get a second date,” she laughed.
“Yet here we are.”
“I realized something while I was on my way here,” she said.
“What?”
She lifted her glass, took a sip, and looked over at him.
“We had breakfast, went to the hot chocolate bar, and saw the curling competition. That’s three dates. We were only supposed to go on three fake dates.”
He looked her in the eye. They both refused to break. He could feel the tension in the air. Everything unsaid, but felt, between them.
“Well, I guess that means this is real.”