Chapter 44 Ari
Ari
At nighttime, the Village always came alive with streetlights, brightly lit venues, and thousands of tiny smartphone screens as people milled in and out of each competition.
But things were quieter here down on the frozen lake.
Ari had spent so much of her life playing hockey that she’d forgotten she could experience the ice just for fun.
So, what had started as a few slow laps around the perimeter to take her mind off things had turned into an hour of gliding across the lake to old romantic jazz songs while watching the snow fall like tiny crystals.
Skating and admiring the sky as it went from dusk to nightfall.
Nights like this made her think of Drew, took her back to the moment the clock had struck midnight, to kissing him in the snow, and the perennial twinkle in his eyes.
She wondered if she could teach herself to be satisfied with the memory of him.
People were complicated, relationships were multilayered, and the more she knew someone, the less she could contain them to just one perfect moment in time.
Maybe Drew was better as a perfectly framed memory, a fleeting moment for her future self to remember as a dream.
Containing him like that would be the easiest way to protect her heart.
But Ari didn’t want to protect her heart.
She wanted to walk through the snow with him, sit beside him on a rooftop, and wait out the night.
She was skating around in circles, trying to change her mind, but for better or for worse, her mind was set on Drew.
She was about to complete her final lap, pick up her phone, and find him. But when she skated around the corner, she saw a small figure in a black coat shuffling across the ice.
The person who’d joined her had no idea what they were doing.
They walked across the ice as if they were wearing shoes and slipped a little with each step.
Ari watched as they attempted to skate, but they lost momentum after a few feet.
Ari had no idea who would be foolish enough to attempt something like this, but they were heading toward her.
She took off her headphones to assess the situation.
Only then did she realize he was calling her name.
“Ari, it’s me!” the man shouted from the other side of the lake. He was slipping and sliding across the ice, but he was persistent. Picking himself up and trying to skate despite the fact that he clearly didn’t know how to. Ari’s face softened, and her heart picked up the pace. It was Drew.
“What are you doing here?” she shouted across the lake as they began to skate toward each other.
“I had to speak to you!” He was still too far away to talk without shouting, but he was shuffling across the ice with fierce determination.
“But I thought you didn’t know how to skate?” she shouted across the lake.
“I don’t, but I had to give it my best shot to skate to you!” he shouted as he slipped again. Ari began to laugh, and so did he. He looked ridiculous flailing around in those speed-skating boots, but maybe that’s why she liked him.
“You could have just called!” she shouted.
“I had to tell you in person!”
“Tell me what?”
He just looked at her and smiled, shuffling toward her faster than before.
“I lied on New Year’s! I take it back. Thinking something will end isn’t what makes it feel so romantic. It’s the possibility that it might not end!” he shouted as his shuffle finally became a skate.
“What are you saying?” she asked, but she already knew. It terrified her as much as it delighted her.
“You watch the last ten minutes of a film first and then go back to the start, which is so bizarre. But you do it because you want to know there’s a happy ending, and I think that’s beautiful.
Your eyes light up whenever you speak about the things you love, which makes me never want to stop asking you questions.
In fact, I would watch curling competitions every day if it meant spending more time with you,” he said, skating toward her with more confidence.
“Drew, you can’t say all of that,” she said, raising her hands. He wasn’t allowed to tell her things that made her heart swell when they both knew he would be out of her life before the end of the week.
“It’s true, though. I mean it. It was a fake relationship, but they were always real feelings,” he said as he skated closer. She could feel her heart beating a little faster. She wanted to give herself up to how she felt, but reality kept trying to hold her back.
“But I’m not a perfect person,” she said.
“Who is?”
“I don’t have all of my shit together.”
“Does it look like I do?” he said with a boyish smile as they both looked down at his borrowed skates.
“We could mess each other up,” she said, voicing the fear she’d been trying to protect herself from.
“It’s always a possibility.” He nodded.
“And it could end really, really badly.”
“It could.” He nodded again. “But maybe it won’t.” He crossed the final length of ice to stand, precariously, right in front of her.
Ari had spent hours trying to protect herself from heartbreak.
But maybe she’d been holding herself back from something good, too.
Hope was a delicate, dangerous thing. Falling in love meant giving someone the key to the most vulnerable, sensitive parts of who she was.
It was diving in while knowing she could hurt him, and she could get hurt too.
On paper, the risk was worth it for the right person.
However, she wouldn’t know who the right person was until she got to the other side.
But as Ari looked at Drew, standing on the ice with a nervous smile and a twinkle in his eye, she decided that he was worth taking the chance.
“Ari, I know there are a dozen reasons why it might not work out, but I would risk them all for the chance to get to know you better. I want to be the one cheering you on from the bleachers, walking with you through the snow, and sneaking out of parties to get to talk to you.”
“But Drew…” she said, slightly overcome with emotion. He just nodded his head and looked her in the eye.
“I know, I know. But if we’re an old, messed-up, well-loved secondhand car, I want to see this thing through until the engine breaks down,” he said with a smile. She laughed as she remembered what she’d said the other night.
“Until the radio stops working, and we’re just humming to pass the time?” she joked.
“Until the wheels fall off,” he said, reaching for her hand. “So, can we please break up? I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore, and I don’t want to be just your friend. I’m falling for you,” he said plainly.
“I think I am, too,” she whispered, the knowledge only hitting her as she said it out loud.
“So, who cares about all the reasons it might not work out,” he said.
“Because it might,” she replied.
“It might.”
He leaned forward, wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her in.
Drew’s half-frozen fingers traced a delicate line across her face, putting a sparkle in her eyes.
Crystal snowflakes floated down from the night sky and moonlight shimmered against the ice.
Time paused as they stood there in each other’s arms. This, she realized, was the closest she’d ever come to magic.