9. Chloe
CHLOE
Today’s the day.
After four long ass weeks of rehearsals, trying to drink enough water, eat enough food and avoid all thoughts of a certain hockey player, today is the day I’ve been waiting for. The day I even set a reminder for in my calendar.
This lovely Tuesday is the day I finally get to see Liam again since he left my apartment the day before rehearsals started.
I’ve been excited for this day. I’ve been looking forward to this day so that I can get the Liam Crawford experience once again.
Today is the day and I feel like absolute shit.
My first warning sign that today wasn’t going to go as I had planned should have been getting a reminder that I have a gyno appointment this afternoon. But of course, I just swiped away the notification and went to my morning dance class.
Now I feel like I’m going to puke and it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m on my way to my first pap smear in three years on top of my birth control shot.
Though, I do hope that it does have something to do with it because I do not want to feel pukey when I see Liam later tonight and pass whatever bug I have over to him.
That would make me a bad…friend?
What do you call the person you spent one night with, then proceeded to spend the next four consecutive nights with as well, and are now going out to dinner with him four weeks later after his hockey game?
Friend with benefits?
Occasional hookup?
Just a friend?
Definitely not girlfriend or partner, I know that for sure.
Whatever I am to him, I can’t get him sick.
The universe must have told him that I was thinking about him, because as soon as I press the button for the crosswalk, my phone beeps with a message from him.
We’ve stayed in touch since we last saw each other almost four weeks ago.
It mostly has been us trying to decide what game I wanted to attend and mundane things like how our days have been going. Friendly, platonic things that people do when they are getting to know a new person that has come into their lives.
The platonic stuff may be a big reason what I feel nauseous today.
Liam and I went from being complete strangers to giving each other orgasm after orgasm for five nights back to strangers again.
I know this is what I wanted. I know I wanted to concentrate on dancing and not dive into anything serious, but I have a feeling that tonight is going to be weird.
How do we act?
Do I kiss him as soon as I see him? Do I hug him or do I just give him a small wave and have an awkward dinner?
I don’t know.
I’m excited for tonight, but I’m also nervous about how it’s going to play out and is going to come out of this after the night is over.
Both Liam and I have things that we need to concentrate on.
Things that have nothing to do with sexing the other day in and day out.
I’m going to make the most out of tonight, because come tomorrow, we really need to set our foot down as to what we are.
Whether that is just friends or occasional hook ups, it’s going to have to be put on hold until the new year.
It’s not something I want to do after getting to know him during our days together. But if I want this to be my best season yet, I have to.
Shaking the nervousness away and drowning out the city noise, I open his text message.
Liam: I left two tickets for you at the box office. Right behind the glass like I promised.
I smile at his words. He had asked me if I wanted to bring anyone with me to the game a few days ago. I had said yes because no way was Betty going to let me go alone. She wants in on all the drama.
Me: Thank you so much! Can’t wait to see you!
The second I hit send, regret starts to flow in.
Can’t wait to see you?
God, that sounds so desperate. He’s probably going to think that I can’t stop thinking about his dick.
I’m about to throw my phone toward the street so that it can get run over by oncoming traffic when it beeps again.
Liam: I can’t wait to see you either. I left you something with the tickets. See you tonight!
I guess I didn’t sound desperate after all.
That right there makes the remainder of my walk to my appointment a little bit lighter. Even with whatever is going on in my stomach still disturbing me.
I try to push all feelings of puking, uncomfortableness, and nervousness down and head into the doctor’s office.
It’s weird that walking into the familiar office calms me. I might be the only one.
Since I’m here every four months, the check in process is easy and within ten minutes I’m getting called back.
“Are we doing any testing today?” The nurse asks me after getting my weight and blood pressure.
“Please.” I say giving her a nod.
It’s not that I don’t trust Liam, I do, but we never had that discussion, so I would rather be safe than sorry. Besides, a few test never hurt anyone.
“Okay,” she says, writing something down on my chart. “I’m going to have to head to the bathroom and pee in this cup. When you are done, you can put it in the little door.”
She hands me the little plastic cup and sends me down the hall to the restroom.
Peeing in a cup never gets easier, no matter how many times you do it. You will always get in places you don’t want it to go.
But I do it and leave the cup in the little door like instructed and head back into the hall.
“Okay, the doctor will be with you shortly.” The nurse tells me after she went through a long list of questions about my health and hands me a paper gown.
“Thank you.” I say to her with a smile.
As I pull on the gown and sit on the table completely naked waiting for the doctor to come in, the uneasiness in my stomach doesn’t go away. I actually feel like puking even more sitting in this room.
“It’s just a pap. It’s not going to hurt too much. She’s going to do it and then I can go home. That’s it.”
My pep talk doesn’t help. My stomach still feels like it’s going to explode all over the room.
I need to eat saltines or something. With my stomach turning, no way I’m going to be able to enjoy the nachos I was looking forward to.
Maybe I should just cancel on Liam.
No.
No canceling. It’s just nerves about the pap that is it. This stomach thing will go away as soon as I leave here.
Thankfully, I don’t have to wait for the doctor much longer, because five minutes later she walks in.
“Hi Chloe, how are you?” Doctor Long asks as she walks into the room, closing the door behind her.
“Good, just trying to get over this bug I caught on.” I say, giving her a small smile.
“Bug?” she asks, taking a seat in the stool in front of me.
“Yeah, it’s just a stomach thing. I’m sure it’s nerves about the pap smear or something.”
Doctor Long looks at me with bunched up eyebrows like she doesn't believe it’s just nerves.
“What exactly are you feeling?” She asks, taking out a pen to start writing on my chart.
“Like I want to throw up.” I answer.
“Have you?”
I shake my head. “No but I have gagged a few times today but that’s about it.”
“Do you feel tired at all?” she asks, writing something down on the piece of paper.
I take a second to think about her question. Rehearsals and dance class have been kicking my ass lately but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. I did go to sleep early last night which isn’t unheard of for me.
“Usually after a dance rehearsal but that’s a normal thing.”
The doctor gives me a nod as she continues to write.
“It says here your last period was two months ago.”
I nod even though she’s looking down. “Yeah, it’s been irregular for years.”
Dancing changes your body in a lot of ways. One thing that it can do is affect your menstrual cycle. For me, not only did I get my first period in high school, it comes whenever it wants to, not when it needs to.
“Okay, let me check your urine sample. I will get a better idea of what is going on.”
Shouldn’t she have done that before she came in here? Also why is she so worried about a stomach issue? That’s something for a regular doctor not the gyno.
Oh my god, what if Liam gave me something?
We used a condom.
So? You can get an STI through oral.
Oh my god, if he gave me something, I’m going to kill him. I’ll use his hockey stick for all I care. I’m sure Betty will help me get rid of the body.
“When were you last sexually active?” the doctor asks as she looks at the computer screen to her left.
“A month ago,” I answer.
She gives me a nod and all I want to do is grab the computer monitor and see what she is looking at.
After what feels like a million minutes, she turns back to me and gives me a small smile. I can’t tell if it’s a happy one or a sad one.
Liam gave me something, I know it. That bastard.
“From the looks of things we won’t be able to administer your Depo shot today,” she states, standing from her stool.
“What? Why?” Instantly I start to worry.
What kind of STI did this asshole give me?
“Because you’re pregnant, Chloe,” Doctor Long states, looking me in the eye straight on.
This has to be my stomach issues traveling to my brain because no way in hell did she just tell I’m pregnant.
“I’m sorry? I’m what?” I ask, feeling the nausea I’ve been feeling all day travel up my throat.
“You’re pregnant.” the doctor states and all I can do is stare at her in disbelief.
Pregnant.
I’m pregnant .
I’m pregnant.
What the actual hell? Am I dreaming? Is today even real?
“Um,” I start, stuttering a bit as I try to find my words. “How? How is that possible? We used a condom, an-and I’m on birth control. I thought that the shot was like ninety-nine percent effective.”
I’m trying really hard not to spiral right now, but it’s becoming hard.
No way she’s right. She can’t be.
Sure I want kids, but not right now! And not with a guy I’ve only seen for a total of five days!
“It is ninety-nine percent effective, but only if it’s taken on time and correctly. Even then there is still a chance. A one in one hundred chance.”
And I had to be that one ?
Oh my god.
“Are you sure?” I ask her, trying to get my mind straight.
“I will need to do an ultrasound to confirm, but your urine test is coming back positive,” she tells me, but then her expression changes. “Given your reaction, I’m going to say that this is both a surprise and unplanned.”
My head nods. “Very unplanned,” I whisper to her.
“Okay, then let’s do an ultrasound to confirm and after we can talk about your options.”
She gives me another smile, but I can’t seem to find it in me to give her one back.
The whole time she is getting everything ready for the ultrasound, I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.
I can see and feel everything that is happening around me but it’s as if I’m just someone else seeing it from the outside.
It feels like a dream, like nothing is real.
I don’t know how to feel or to even react. This was definitely not the news that I was expecting today and sure as hell don’t know how to wrap my head around it.
So many damn questions run through my head as Doctor Long places the ultrasound wound on my stomach.
And those questions double when she turns the screen to face me and confirms that I am indeed pregnant.
I am pregnant.
What am I going to do? I’m not ready to be a mom. I had plans. I have plans.
But most importantly, what the hell am I going to tell Liam?