Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
ROWAN
B ecause I couldn’t focus on hockey? My gaze darted between Tyler’s brown eyes and the infuriating way his dirty-blond hair fell to his cheekbones, almost straight and parted in the middle. The guy had perfect hair, a perfect body, and always looked so…perfect. He came from a hockey family and surely had an NHL contract coming his way. “I wanted to get away from the cold winters.”
Tyler’s brows lifted. “You’re a hockey player who doesn’t like cold winters?” He chuckled and sipped his drink.
“Yeah. The last one was wicked cold.” I eyed him. He was from Chicago. He knew what I was talking about. “Why are you here? And don’t tell me the weather has nothing to do with it.”
With a soft smile, he dipped his head. “This was where my friends and I could all play together and be ourselves. There were six of us who came here.” His gaze met mine. “Being queer and playing hockey wasn’t always easy.”
“Yeah, I know about the squad. It’s cool what you guys are trying to do, all being out and proud players.” I fingered the lip of my glass. “I commend you for it.”
“Thanks.” He glanced toward the dancefloor, the lights flickering on his face, and then back at me. “Tell me about your family.”
Oh, here we go. We were getting personal now. It was bound to happen. “My father is a lawyer, and my mother doesn’t work anymore.” Fuck, I didn’t feel like talking about this tonight. I’d been trying to get away from all that bullshit. Mom’s illness…
“Brothers or sisters?”
“Two younger brothers. One plays high school football and the other’s, well, best described as a nerd.” I let out a sharp laugh. “Dad loves hockey and football, so two of us went into sports. Dad loved coaching our coaches.” Huffing a laugh, I shook my head. “You’ve seen those types of dads, right?” And with Dad’s money, we always had the best equipment and shit.
With a nod, Tyler said, “Yeah, I’ve seen them. My dad coaches the Cougars and?—”
“That’s where you came from, right? The best fuckin’ juniors league in Chicago?” We’d all heard of that league and the Hodge family. Getting to partner with him was a dream come true.
“Yep. My dad wasn’t easy on me though. If anything, I think he pushed me harder than the others.” His gaze dipped to his glass, and he sipped his drink. “He was just as hard on my brother though, and look where he ended up?”
“Yeah, with the Rangers. I know about your family history, Hodge.” I drank my cocktail and flicked my gaze at the men on the dancefloor. If I made moves on a girl the way these guys were grinding on each other, I’d have my face slapped. Gay men had all the fun.
“You said you had a friend back home who was gay?” Tyler chased my gaze and then focused on me.
“Yeah, his name is Teddy. We went to high school together. The jocks used to pick on him, so I put a stop to it. Been friends ever since.” I sat back in my chair. I owed Teddy a phone call.
“Is he at Boston College still?” Tyler cocked his head, watching me .
“Yeah, he’s studying mechanical engineering, same as me. We used to work on our cars together.” I huffed a chuckle. “I’ve never known another gay man who liked to do shit like that.”
“We like to do all kinds of things. It’s not all decorating.” Wagging his brows, Tyler downed the rest of his drink. “Are we getting another one of these?” He held up his glass.
“Sure.” I flagged down the waiter, ordered more drinks, and nodded my head to the beat of the music. “They play some good tunes in here.”
“Of course. Best dance music you’ll find.” He gave me a warm smile and his gaze fell to my lips.
He’d been checking me out all fucking night. My stomach wavered. Teddy never did that, but then Teddy liked those bear guys. All fucking big and hairy. That wasn’t me. Did Tyler have a thing for me? It was flattering, a guy so perfect thinking I was worth his time. Dammit. I shouldn’t get stuck on that. It was weird, and I liked women.
The waiter dropped off a new round of drinks, and Tyler paid. He held up his glass. “Another toast?” He gave me a lopsided smile.
“Yeah, sure. How about to warm winters?” I bumped my glass against his and drank. These drinks were fucking him up. It would be fun to mess with him a little bit.
“So you like to work on cars, huh?” He eyed his drink and sipped more of it.
“Yeah, I do. I got an older Mustang I put mods on. Gave her an extra forty horsepower.” My gaze roamed over his thick biceps, peeking from under the arms on his shirt. I’d have to get him to show me some secrets at the gym, maybe.
“Yeah? How many speeding tickets have you got?” He narrowed his eyes at me.
“None…here.” I freed a soft chuckle. “In Boston? I don’t know, a few.” Yeah, I was built for speed. Maybe that was why I picked hockey over football.
Tyler shifted his chair closer to mine and leaned in. “What year Mustang? Are we talking like the seventies?” He fixated on my mouth, blinked, then shook his head and sat back.
“No, it’s a two thousand six. You know, when Ford decided to make them look cool again?” I shifted in my chair as my stomach fluttered. Apparently, part of me liked the attention from him. Why? Because he was sort of a D-line college hockey god? That had to be it. I downed my drink. I needed to move my body. I wasn’t much for sitting too long. “Drink up, and let’s hit the dancefloor.”
He gaped. “You…you want to dance? With me?”
“Yeah, why not. You dance, don’t you?” If I was out there with him, maybe the other dudes would leave me alone. “I used to dance with Teddy sometimes. It’s no big deal, right?”
“Uh, sure.” He picked up his drink and slammed it. “Let’s go.” Standing from the table, he snatched my hand, stopped, and looked at our joined hands. “This okay? Don’t want you getting lost.”
I tightened my fingers around his while the fluttering in my stomach grew. “No worries, man. I’m not homophobic in any way.”
With a hard swallow, he focused on my mouth. “Yeah, good.” He pulled me along, winding around men chatting and some making out.
We passed a larger man devouring a smaller one, all tongues, smashing lips, and groping hands.
My breath caught as a spark tingled up my spine. I’d seen this shit before with Teddy, but it hadn’t seemed as intense. I needed to focus. I liked women. I adored women . But when two people were making out right in front of you, it might be a turn-on no matter their sex, right? It was normal to feel like this?
As we made our way to the dancefloor, a new guy in a Speedo showed up with a tray of shots. He stopped at Tyler. “Hello, handsome. These are on the house. Want one?” Biting his lower lip, he raked his gaze over Tyler and held out the shot .
“Oh, hell yes.” With a coy grin, Tyler opened his mouth and tipped his head back.
What the fuck was he doing? I clenched my jaw and stepped beside him, his body heat tingling up my side.
Speedo guy poured the shot into Tyler’s mouth and giggled. As his gaze caught mine, his smile fell. “You his boyfriend? Do you want one too?”
“No, just a friend, and no, I don’t want one.” Wrapping an arm around Tyler’s waist, I pushed on him. “Come on, we should see if we can find Myles out there.” Tyler was going to be shitfaced. I should find Myles and get Tyler some water.
Tyler stumbled, fell into my chest, and then laughed, holding the back of his hand over his mouth. “Oops, sorry.” He started for the dancefloor and stopped again, facing me. “Myles is hooking up with someone by now.”
“Hooking up? In the club, or do you think he left?” I scanned the dancefloor, observing all the men. Some danced with their arms raised, others pressed against other men. This was starting to look like a fucking orgy.
“In the club. There’s a hallway by the restrooms some guys use, or they do it in the restroom.” He pulled me along to the dancefloor, stopped, and spun around, almost losing his balance again. With a laugh, he threw his arms up and swayed his hips to the beat. “Come on, I love this song.”
I had no idea what song this was. I liked rock. I liked the shit they played at the rink during games. Maybe I was old school, but so what. “Yeah?” I bounced and swayed to the music. I wasn’t a half-bad dancer. At least, that’s what girls always told me.
After a few minutes, Speedo Guy found us, smirked at me, and focused on Tyler. “Hey, handsome. Want another?”
As a crooked smile played over his lips, Tyler said, “Yes, please.”
I grabbed Speedo Guy’s arm and pulled. “No, I think he’s had enough.” I snuck a peek at Tyler, who was frowning at me. Hell, was it my place to tell him how much to drink? We had a day off tomorrow. Fuck it. “Do what you want, Hodge. Myles can drive you home, right?”
“Yeah, he’s barely-had-a-drink Myles tonight. He’ll take care of me. Always does.” Tyler dropped his jaw open.
Speedo Guy poured the shot in. “There you go. I hope this Myles takes care of all of you tonight since it doesn’t look like your friend will.” He cupped Tyler’s junk and walked off.
Tyler’s cheeks pinked as he swallowed the shot. “Shit, I’m horny.”
I stared at him, heat pooling in my groin. No, this was not happening. This shit never happened with Teddy. Why now? I had to make light of the situation. He was drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. “Why wouldn’t you be horny with all these hot, almost naked guys walking around?” And grabbing your junk ?
“Yeah.” He leaned his elbow on my shoulder, then brushed his lips over the shell of my ear. “Guess it’s doing nothing for you, huh? I bet if we were in a female strip club, you’d be horny.”
A shiver heated my skin and my dick plumped. God-fucking-damnit, this place was getting to me. That’s all it was. “Hell yeah. I’d have a raging boner if we were in a strip club.” I shifted away from him and his arm fell to his side. “Are we dancing here or not?”
“I’d like to see that.” Tyler hiccuped and giggled, then moved his hips and swung his arms.
“Tyler, hey, there you guys are.” Myles came out of nowhere, his hair mussed and his cheeks flushed. He wrapped an arm around Tyler’s waist and steadied him.
Had Myles just had sex somewhere in here? Holy fuck, these guys were not like Teddy. “Hey, Tyler kept insisting on shots from some dude in a Speedo. Just so you know, it wasn’t me.” I threw a grin at Myles .
“Right on.” Shaking his head, he chuckled and said, “I should probably get him home.”
“Yeah, and let’s get him some water.” I wound my arm around Tyler and helped Myles lead him off the dancefloor.
With his head lolling, Tyler said, “I don’t want to go home. I need to get laaaaiiid.” His hooded gaze found mine and his tongue flicked over his lips. “Fuck.”
“Not tonight, man.” Myles choked out a laugh. “Sorry, he’s not usually like this.”
“No problem. It happens to all of us.” I patted Myles on the shoulder. “This’ll definitely be a celly to remember.” And a night I’ll have to process or shove into the deepest recesses of my memory, never to be found again. “You need help getting him out?” I spied a water jug and plastic glasses at the end of the bar. “Come on.” I led Myles and Tyler to the water jug and poured a glass for each of us.
As Myles handed a cup to Tyler, Tyler grabbed it with both hands and drank it all down. “Oh my God, thank you.”
I gulped my water and poured more. With my gaze finding Tyler’s, I said, “Hey, man, it was nice hanging out with you and getting to know you better. I’ll see you at the gym Monday morning.” I squeezed his shoulder.
He pouted. “Yeah, sure.” Turning into Myles, he rested his head on his shoulder. “I love you, man. You know that?”
Myles broke out in a wide grin, brushing his hand over Tyler’s cheek. “Yeah, I know.”
I watched the two of them with a twinge in my chest. Tyler had said they were just friends. But how close were they? It was none of my business. Waving with a smile, I strode out of the bar.
After a greasy breakfast, some ibuprofen, and lots of water, I put on my team sweats and sank into my couch to get some reading done on fluid mechanics. As I opened my book in my lap and scanned the first paragraph, my mind drifted to last night. Maybe I should text Tyler and see how he was doing? I’d had a headache, but that was about it. Thank God I’d stopped drinking when I did.
I flicked my gaze to the round coffee table at my feet. Myles would have taken care of him, and I’d see him at practice.
My phone lit up and buzzed on the table, scrolling Mom across the top.
As my heart jolted, I said, “Shit.” Throwing my book aside, I lurched forward and stabbed at the buttons. “Hello?”
“Hi, Rowan. Whatcha doin’?” she said, mimicking me, and then released a soft laugh. “Did I wake you?”
She sounded good. No need to panic. “No, I was getting started on some reading. I’ve been up for an hour or so.” I glanced behind me at the clock on the stove. It read ten o’clock, so it would be barely afternoon back home.
“Oh. Did you go out and celebrate your win last night?” she asked.
“I did.” I snuggled into the couch and flung a throw blanket over my lap. “I went out with the new D-man I’m partnering with and his friend.” I huffed a laugh. “We went to a gay bar.” It wouldn’t be the first time I’d told her that. She knew all about the times I’d been to one with Teddy.
“Oh? So the good-looking young man they have you playing with is gay?”
“He is.” She would have watched the game on the team’s YouTube channel last night. “He’s part of this bunch of guys they call the squad. They’re all out and proud queer men and want to make a change, you know?” If Mom was one thing, it was liberal when it came to shit like this.
“I love it. It sounds like you’ve found a great group to hang out with.” She sighed. “I hope you didn’t get too obnoxious and drunk.”
“No, not last night. I kept it under control.” I pulled at a string in the blanket. She’d heard the stories of my drunk nights out from Teddy, the bastard. He loved telling all my secrets. “But my buddy got hammered.” And horny. My skin heated. Shit, why was I thinking about that? My mom was on the phone.
“And you took good care of him?” Her voice raised.
“I guess. His buddy took care of him. He lives with one of our wingers. Also gay.” I set the phone on speaker and placed it in my lap. This was going to be a longer conversation, I could tell.
“Oh, are they together?”
“No, they’re just friends. Both from Chicago.” I scratched the back of my head. “But the one guy is originally from Canada. Has the whole accent thing, eh?” I chuckled. Hockey was full of Canucks with accents like Myles. I’d heard it a million times.
“Yeah? Some would say you have an accent too.” She snickered. “But really, how are you getting on down there? Have you met any nice girls or friends outside of hockey?”
Oh, here we go. She was worried about me. I pressed my lips together. “I’ve met some girls, none I’d take home.” I should ask about her health, but how do I do it without making her not want to talk about it? “Mom.”
“Yes, dear.”
“How are you?” I winced. That wasn’t very stealthy.
“I’m fine. Today’s a good day.” Her breath caught. “I went to the grocery store yesterday and didn’t use a scooter.”
“You did?” I swallowed a lump climbing up my throat. Fuck, how many more times would she be able to do that? “What? Did Dad make you?” I forced a sharp laugh. I had to make light of it or risk falling apart.
“No, he did not. I insisted. I think this flare-up is ending. I’ve been less tired. So I’m taking advantage of it while I can.”
I sank my teeth into my lower lip, released it, and blew out a breath. “Yeah? Is that what the doc thinks too?” How long would the remission last this time? The last one was only for a few weeks .
“I don’t need a doctor to tell me when I’m feeling better.” She huffed. “I see him this week. I’m sure he’ll confirm what I already know.” After sucking in a breath, she said, “MS sucks, but I’m not going to let it get me.”
My vision blurred. Except she had the rarest kind, the one only five percent of people with multiple sclerosis had. The one where each flare-up would get worse until she was no longer herself. Fuck. I swiped at the wetness on my lashes and, in a thick voice, said, “Yeah, I’m sure you won’t, Mom.” Maybe there’d be a cure someday…maybe.
“Anyway, enough of that talk. I’m glad to hear you’re making friends out there.”
“Yeah, thanks. These are good guys.” Warmth cradled my heart. I didn’t know what it was about the queer community, but damn, they knew how to make someone feel welcome. Maybe it was because they didn’t judge, and I hated that shit. “Maybe someday I can introduce Teddy to them.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’d like that.” She inhaled deeply. “You know he came around last week and spent time with me. He made me this fantastic salad.” She chuckled. “Aw, that kid is so thoughtful,” she said. “He misses you, you know.”
“I know, but I had to take the chance and come out here, Mom.” I clenched my jaw for a beat. It sucked, but there was no way for me to focus on hockey with Mom’s illness right in my face. I’d never get my stats up. “I’ll only be here this season, and then maybe I’ll get picked up by a team close to home.” I lifted my brows. “You know the guy I’m playing with now has a brother who plays for the Rangers, right?
“He does?” She went silent. “No wonder he plays so well. Must be from a hockey family.”
“Yep, his dad is a juniors coach.” I tapped the edge of my phone and glanced at my book. She knew a little bit about hockey, but Dad was the fan. “How’s Dad?”
“Oh, the usual. He’s got a big case he’s working on, but he’s taking care of me too.” She freed a quick laugh. “Don’t you worry.”
“Yeah.” I furrowed my brows. Actually, I had been a little worried, but I also knew I had two brothers back home who’d help Mom when she needed it. “And how are Aaron and Danny?”
“Aaron brought a girl home for dinner two weeks ago. A cheerleader.” She giggled. “She was a very nice girl. Comes from a good family.”
“Figures,” I said under my breath. My brother was a high school heartthrob and the best quarterback in New England. “Good for him.”
“Danny is getting straight A s. He’s decided to study aerospace engineering and work for NASA.”
“Damn, that’s pretty specific.” Nerd all the fucking way. I huffed a chuckle, then gazed at the sunshine lighting the courtyard of my one-bedroom apartment. “And has he decided on a college yet?” The guy was only in tenth grade…
“Yes, MIT. Where else?” She breathed out a long sigh. “Ah well, I’m sure he’ll get a scholarship.”
“I’m sure he will too.” My chest tightened. And Aaron would get one for football, but if I didn’t get an NHL contract…my entire reason for coming out here would be gone. And I’d have missed a good year of Mom’s life. Fuck. I took another look at my book. We’d said enough. “Hey, Mom, I gotta study.” I had brothers to stay ahead of.
“Oh sure, dear. It was nice talking to you.” She blew out a breath. “And don’t you worry about me. I’m feeling better. Things are turning around.”
Now I knew the real reason for her call. “I’m happy, Mom. When I come home for the holidays, maybe you can cook the bird, and it won’t taste like leather.” I freed a soft snort. Dad had tried but had done a terrible job of it last year.
“Or maybe you can cook it this year?” She harrumphed. “I sort of like having you all wait on me during the holidays instead of me doing all the work.”
“Yeah, knowing you, you’ll fake a relapse to get out of it.” I chuckled. Now, we were getting silly.
“Rowan David, I would never do that.”
“Yeah, but really, Mom, I hope to see you up and puttering around the kitchen again when I get home. Love you.” An ache wormed through my chest, and I rubbed the heel of my hand over it.
“Love you too. Now get some studying done, and I’ll speak with you soon.”
“Okay, bye, Mom.” I ended the call and stared at my phone. God, I missed home, but I had to make it at hockey, and to do that, I needed this year away.
Monday morning’s skate had been wicked. Coach was relentless with the drills, and I’d hardly had a moment to chat with Tyler about anything that wasn’t hockey. After practice, we’d all run off to our classes, and now the geology class I shared with Tyler was almost over. I’d arrived a little late thanks to a long line at the campus Starbucks and had to sit in the back.
As the professor ended the class and shut his laptop, I scurried into a vacated seat next to Tyler. We had shit to talk about, like had he left the bar after me or stuck around? And would he be able to help me on the next assignment? I’d helped him before, so…I leaned into Tyler as he shoved his laptop into his backpack. “Hey.”
He jumped. “Jesus, you scared me. When did you come in?” His gaze crept over me and stopped at my mouth for a beat.
Already checking me out? The corner of my lips curled. “I got in late and took a seat at the back.” I ticked my chin at his book, still lying on the desktop. “Can you help me with the next assignment? This geology shit isn’t what I thought it was.” Parts of it were a little too much like chemistry, which I hated.
“Yeah, sure.” He slid his book into his bag.
My stomach grumbled. “What’re you doing now? Got another class, or do you want to grab a bite at Five Guys?” I clearly hadn’t had enough to eat after practice.
“I’m free for a few hours. Five Guys works.” He stood and looked down at me. “You ready?”
“Hell yeah.” Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I rose and held my palm up. “After you.”