Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ROWAN
C hristmas had come and gone, and we’d done our best to make Mom comfortable and included in all the festivities. Now it was over, I was looking forward to meeting with Teddy for a post-Christmas drink. The holidays were fun and all, but they took a lot out of me, especially with the stress of Mom being sick. You never realized how much a mother did until she wasn’t able to.
I parked my dad’s BMW in the lot next to the small brick building housing the bar. As I stepped out of the car, I zipped my jacket to my chin. Fuck, it was cold. Was I already getting used to the warmer weather in Arizona?
As I scanned the barren trees surrounding the yards of the houses in the neighborhood, my gaze caught on Teddy climbing out of his Toyota sedan in his rainbow-colored jacket. He’d had that damn thing forever. “Hey, man.” I waved to him.
“Rowan.” With a broad smile, he jogged to me, slipped on some ice, yelped, caught himself, and then threw his arms around my neck. “So good to see you.”
“Same.” I kissed his cheek and let him go. Okay, that was new. I kissed his cheek ?
He pressed his gloved hand to his face as his eyes went wide. “Oh my, you’ve changed.”
“I have. I’m queer now.” I burst out a laugh and wrapped my arm around his. Funny how I’d always kept some distance between us. Not anymore.
“I like the new you.” He strode with me to the bar’s entrance, which was up a few steps and covered by a green awning. “After you.” He opened the glass door and waved me inside.
“Thanks.” I stepped in and looked around. The place was the same as always this time of year. The scent of old cigarette smoke and stale beer filled the air, and the old vinyl barstools lining the long bar were all cracked. Sitting at the stools were the heavy-drinking regulars mixed with the out-of-towners looking for a good dive bar, and this was it.
A guy cracked a ball with the cueball on one of the two pool tables under a long Budweiser lamp and the jukebox played old rock from the seventies.
“Where do you want to sit?” We should find a corner somewhere that we wouldn’t be bothered. I spied such a table by the side window to the place. “Over there, maybe?” I pointed to it.
“Yeah, sure.” He eyed the bar.
“You go grab the table and let me get the first round. What do you want?” I stepped toward the bar. Nobody usually said anything about Teddy in here, but I didn’t want tonight to be the first time.
“If you could get me a beer, that would be great. The wine in here is terrible.” With a snicker, he sauntered toward the table.
I ordered us both beers, paid, and then brought them to the table and set them down. “So, how are things?”
“Can’t complain. Looking forward to one last semester and then graduation.” He held up his beer to me, his brown hair cut shorter than usual and his blue eyes intense.
I tapped my glass on his. “Agreed.” I took a sip of the beer. “Any companies interviewing you yet?” Any place would be lucky to have him. He was a talented mechanic and would do great in the automotive industry.
“Not yet. But I haven’t filled out any applications either. I’ll start doing that in a month or so.” He glanced out the window, drinking his beer, and focused on me. “So, tell me, what’s going on with your family? You were going to come out to them, right?”
Shit, I hadn’t told him yet about Mom. “Uh, no.” I rubbed my finger around the rim of my glass, staring at it, my gut knotting. “Mom’s having a flare-up, and it’s wicked bad this time. So, I decided not to do it.”
He blinked and parted his lips. “I’m sorry to hear about Sharon not feeling well. But why wouldn’t you still come out? Is Tyler still going to visit?”
“He is. We’re going to hide our relationship while he’s here.” I shrugged and met his gaze. “We won’t have to hide it when we’re not at home, but I don’t know.” Was I doing the right thing? “If Dad doesn’t like it, or one of my brothers, I don’t want to start a big mess with Mom not feeling well. She shouldn’t be stressed about anything.”
With one of his brows hooking, he said, “Rowan, I don’t think anyone in your family is going to have a problem with it. Everyone has been so lovely with me.”
“I know, but…” I twisted my lips. I couldn’t tell him that maybe they were okay with him because he wasn’t their son. He’d been lucky. He was from an accepting family who hadn’t cared when he’d come out during high school.
“But what?” He leaned in close, eyeing me. “You’re afraid. Maybe it’s still too new?”
“Maybe.” No, that wasn’t the case. I was ready to build a life with Tyler. “I don’t want to do anything to upset my mom, not when she’s already having a hard time of it.” I slumped my shoulders. I was being a shit. “Anyhow, Tyler knows, and he’s okay with it. ”
“Okay.” He sat back in his chair. “Have you heard from any scouts?”
“Not yet. I know there’ve been some inquiries, but nothing solid.” Maybe I’d move to Chicago and be Tyler’s puck boy. I chuckled. “I suppose if I don’t get anything, I could try and find a job in Chicago. I mean, Tyler’s most likely going to end up with the Blackhawks.”
“Why even find a job if your boyfriend is in the NHL? Don’t you think he could support you in a life of luxury?” He sniggered and sipped his beer.
“Ha-ha.” Holding my glass, I pointed a finger at him. “Do you really see me being a kept man?” Funny, I’d always thought I’d end up in the NHL, married to a hot little puck bunny with a few hockey-playing kids around me. I guessed we could still have the kids.
“No, I don’t.” He tilted his head. “I can’t wait to meet him. What do you want to do when he gets here?”
“When I first met him, I introduced him to the Ward 8 cocktail. So, let’s take him to the bar named after it. What do you say?” I peered at him. He wasn’t expecting us to go straight to the gay bar, was he?
“Okay. I think that place is close to the arena too, isn’t it? Maybe we could catch a Bruins game in the bar while we’re there?” He ticked his brows and sipped his beer.
“You’d want to watch hockey? With two hockey players?” With a grin, I side-eyed him. He’d never been interested in it before, unless I was playing in the game.
He held up his index finger. “Wait a minute. Let me look at the schedule.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen. His eyes widened. “Oh my…the Bruins are playing the Maple Leafs the night after he flies in. We could expose him to Bruins fans.”
“Oh shit, one of his buddies plays for the Leafs.” With a chuckle, I shook my head. “I don’t know who he’d root for.” But it sure would be a fun time .
“Who plays for the Maple Leafs?” He set his phone on the table.
“This guy named Jonah Boehm. He’s from Minnesota, but lived with Tyler the last couple of years and got picked up by the Leafs. There was some weird thing with their defensive line coach, I don’t know.” I drank my beer. I’d only heard the rumors but had never asked him about it directly. “But Jonah is a winger.”
“Interesting…” Teddy wrinkled his brows. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell your parents about your relationship status before he comes out here?”
I huffed a sigh. “No, I’m not sure. It’s just—” I tipped my head back, staring at the cracks in the ceiling for a moment. “Let me see how things go with Ma.”
“Sure. I guess if he understands the situation, it’s not a problem. You can come out to them another time when she’s feeling better.” He glanced out the window. “Looks like it’s starting to snow again.”
“Good. Maybe it’ll cover up the ice patches and we won’t fall on our asses when we leave here.” I gave him a small grin, tapped my glass against his, and then drank the rest of my beer.
A day later, I waited inside the terminal at Boston Logan airport for Tyler to walk out, my heart beating like a battering ram. I shifted from foot to foot. I’d been able to work out some fun plans for the holiday, staying in a fancy hotel in downtown Boston while we hit the gay bars in the South End with Teddy. Of course my parents would think we were staying at Teddy’s for the night. I hated lying to them, but it would be worth it.
Tyler strutted from the terminal and into the main area of the airport, his backpack slung over one shoulder and dressed in a form-fitting gray sweater and jeans. His bangs fell to his cheekbones and flowed off his face, and he looked damned delicious .
“Hey, babe.” I rushed to him and threw my arms around his waist, picking him up.
“Oh my God, Rowan.” He laughed, hugged me fiercely, and planted a hard kiss on my mouth. “Fuck, I missed you.”
“I missed you too. So damn much.” Grabbing his hand, I led him toward baggage claim. “You did bring a jacket, right?” I snuck another peek at him. Goddamn, he was more gorgeous than I’d remembered.
“Of course. It’s in my backpack.” He leaned in as we arrived at the conveyor belts filled with luggage. “I can’t wait to meet everyone and see Boston.”
“I’ve got news for you.” We checked the monitors and walked to where his suitcase would be coming out. I couldn’t wait to tell him about tomorrow night.
“Yeah? What’s that.” He looked over the bags as they moved in front of us. “Oh shit, hold that thought.” He pulled his bag off the conveyor. “Okay, now tell me.”
“We’re going to the Ward 8 bar in Boston, so you can have the real drink, and we’re going to watch the Bruins pounce the Maple Leafs with Teddy.” I gauged his reaction. This was going to be so much fun having him here and showing him off.
“No…” Eyeing me, he lifted the handle on his suitcase. “How am I supposed to cheer on my boy Boehm in a Bruins bar?” He snickered.
“Guess you’ll have to pretend to be a Bruins fan.” I lifted my brows and grabbed his elbow, leading him toward the elevators and the parking garage.
“I’ll do my best, but you know I’ll cheer Jonah on.” He kissed my cheek as we strolled.
After catching up with Tyler in the car, parking in the garage, and leading him to the mudroom at the back of the house, I cracked open the door .
He looked around him. “The houses aren’t too different from what we have in Illinois.” He touched the old wood on the doorframe in the mudroom. It had been repainted probably twenty times over the years. “Maybe a little thinner and taller, but the siding is the same.” He toed off his boots in the mudroom and shimmied out of his jacket. “I like the gray color of this house and the white trim. Has the house always been gray?”
“As long as I’ve lived in it. Mom never changed the color.” I went to take his hand. Shit, I couldn’t be doing this here. I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. “The house was remodeled about five years ago. Mom had been watching all those shows on HGTV.” I chuckled and stepped with him into the kitchen.
“Yeah?” He scanned the room. “Wow, the place looks like it could be in one of those home shows.” He ran his finger along the white marble counter of the kitchen island.
Aaron walked in, did a double-take, and then shouted, “Dad and Danny, Rowan’s friend is here.” With a wide smile, he padded to us with his hand out. “So cool to meet you, man.”
With a grin, Tyler shook his hand. “The pleasure is mine.”
“I hear you’re going to be a Blackhawk.” Aaron kept shaking Tyler’s hand and smiling at him.
“Aaron, let him go.” With a short laugh, I separated them. “Aaron’s a little starstruck. Everyone knows about you and your family’s ties to the NHL.” And who knew my brother would behave like some puck bunny.
“Oh, I see.” Glancing at me, Tyler planted his hands on his hips.
Dad strode into the room. “Tyler Hodge? Welcome to our home.” He greeted Tyler with a firm handshake and freed him. “How’d your meeting with the Blackhawks go?” Dad peeked at me.
“It went well. I’m expecting to hear from my agent any day.” He pressed his lips together. “I have to say, Mr. Mackenzie, I don’t think I’ve ever played as well as when I play with your son.”
My heart burst with warmth. He was building me up for my family. “Thanks, ba—” Fuck, I had to watch my mouth. “Uh, Tyler.”
“You can call me John, and his mother is Sharon.” Dad creased his brows. “She’s resting right now, but I know she’s excited to meet you.”
“How is she doing?” Tyler’s gaze snapped from Dad to me. “Is she any better?”
“A little. We had her up and in her wheelchair earlier, but I think it tired her out.” Dad pressed his hands together over his chest. “Do you boys want a pre-dinner drink? I have some decent bourbon in the house.”
“Sure, Dad. But let me get Tyler settled first.” I grabbed the handle on his suitcase and rolled it toward the front room. “We’re in the guest rooms upstairs.” And he’d be right next to me. Close enough for conjugal visits at night.
“Okay.” Tyler followed me with his backpack on his shoulder.
Danny stepped down the stairs. “Hey, Tyler, right?” He waved at him.
“That’s right, and you must be Danny.” Tyler stopped in front of Danny. “It’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand.
Looking at his hand a moment, Danny grinned and gave him a quick shake. “I’m glad you’re here. Rowan’s been a little melancholy.” He gave me a sly grin. “I think he was missing you.”
Tyler’s eyes widened as his gaze swung to mine. “Oh, that’s, um…nice?”
Eyeing my youngest brother, I said, “You’re right. In Arizona, we see each other every day.” I ruffled Danny’s hair. “Don’t you have studying to do?” I didn’t know how, but the little fucker knew. He must have overheard us on the phone the first day, dammit. But so far, he hadn’t told my other brother, as far as I could tell.
“I do. I’m working to get ahead on my AP physics class.” He lifted his chin and walked off. “I’ll see you around, Tyler.”
Tyler followed me up the stairs and I led him into the room next to mine, this one done up in navy-blue-and-white bedding. “Here’s your room.”
“Thanks.” He glanced at the open door and then shut it. “Does your brother know about us?”
“I, uh…I think so.” Fuck, did it matter? Tyler was right here in my house. I locked the door and strode to him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and gazing deeply into his brown eyes. “The only thing I can figure is he might have overheard me talking to you the first day I was home.” I focused on his lips, so close to my own. “I want you in my room tonight after everyone goes to sleep.” I pressed my lips to his in an aching kiss, slipping my tongue inside his mouth.
With a soft moan, he slanted his mouth over mine and grabbed my ass, pushing his swelling dick against mine through our jeans. As the kiss broke, he threaded his fingers in the back of my hair and fisted it. “I missed you so much. You have no idea.” His forehead rested against mine. “How are you doing with everything, babe?” His gaze rose to mine.
“I’m okay. Well, I’m okay now .” Emotions flooded inside me as I remembered the week with Mom in her hospital bed, how everyone had stepped around her illness, and me not being true to myself or Tyler. With my eyes stinging and my voice cracking, I said, “It’s been hard. I wanted things to be so different when you got here.” I inhaled through the pinching in my chest. “I wanted them to know about us and for them to know you’re more to me than a teammate and friend.” I sniffled. “But I’m afraid.”
“Ssh.” He pulled my head into his neck. “If Danny knows, he certainly seems okay with it.”
“I know, but shit…” I freed a ragged exhale. “What if Mom fi nds out and she gets worse? I’d feel terrible.” I relaxed in his embrace. All I needed was right here. How was I going to deal with us in different cities at the end of the school year?
“I get it. You have to do what’s right for you and your family. I’m okay with your decision, Rowan.” He freed me and stepped back, taking my hands in his. “It’s totally up to you. Don’t guilt yourself over this.”
Rapping sounded on the door, followed by the jiggling of the doorknob. “Rowan and Tyler? Mom is ready to meet Tyler,” Aaron said.
“Oh, shit.” I swiped the wetness from my eyes and straightened my shoulders. Did someone comb her hair? I was pretty sure Mom would want to look her best, even in her condition. “Let’s go.” I flung the door open.
“Why did you lock the door?” Aaron looked past me at Tyler and smirked. “Having a moment?” He snickered and walked away. “Damn, that’s some teammate bonding.”
Flashing a glance at Tyler, I shook my head and left the room. We had to be more careful. Now, both my brothers might be on to us. All it would take would be Aaron beating the truth out of Danny.
“Mom’s in her wheelchair in the front room, and Dad has bourbon poured for you guys. He’s being a miser and not letting me have any.” He scoffed.
“You’re not old enough.” I huffed a chuckle. “Dad is a lawyer, you know. Can you imagine if he got caught giving alcohol to a minor?” Though, sometimes Dad did let him sneak it.
After heading down the stairs and into the main room, we found Dad in the corner of the couch with Mom next to him in her wheelchair, a blanket across her legs, and her shoulder-length hair fixed in a ponytail. Her lips were a faint pink color. Had she put on lipstick?
Mom’s face beamed. “You must be Tyler. ”
“I am.” Tyler stepped to her, bent down, and squeezed her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot of good things.”
“Oh, what a nice thing to say.” Her gaze followed him as he dropped onto the couch opposite the one Dad was on. Our bourbon was in short glasses resting on the coffee table between us.
I sat next to Tyler, picked up my bourbon and sipped it, the honey and oak flavors leaving a slight burn in my throat. “Not bad, Dad. What is it?”
“Angel’s Envy.” He sipped his drink. “I saw a commercial for it during a Bruins game and decided to try it.” He shrugged a shoulder.
Aaron hovered around the room and then pulled a chair from a small table in the corner and brought it over to sit.
“So, Tyler, tell us about yourself. We already know your brother is an NHL player and your dad is a coach?” She cocked her head, focusing on Tyler.
“Yep. I was home with my brother Nathan, and we got to skate a little bit.” With a glance at me and a chuckle, Tyler said, “He’s always fun to skate with. He plays defense too, so he always has new things for me to try.”
“So when he comes home, he coaches you?” Dad threw an arm over the back of the couch, loosely crossing his legs.
“I wouldn’t say he’s coaching me, but he gives me pointers. He’s always learning new things, being in the NHL, and he passes those along to me when he can.” He sipped his bourbon. “We’ve always been close.” He huffed a soft chuckle. “Well, I’ve always looked up to him.”
I glanced at Aaron. Did he look up to me? Would he if he knew the truth about Tyler and me?
“How is your mother doing, Tyler? Rowan tells me she was diagnosed with MS recently.” Mom smoothed the blanket over her legs.
“She’s doing okay with it. I won’t lie. It was hard at first for all of us. We didn’t know what it entailed.” With a heavy swallow, Tyler snuck a glance at me. “I’m sorry you had a flare-up over the holidays. That’s got to be tough.”
“It is. But we’re getting through it, aren’t we, boys?” She flicked her gaze at each of us. “I have a good support system. It’s what you need to get through it.” A soft smile floated over her mouth.
“We love you, Ma.” Aaron walked to Mom, kissed her cheek, and then headed back to his chair.
As her grin widened, she faced Tyler. “You know, Rowan was really looking forward to playing with you this year.”
“Yeah, he told me that.” As he fingered his bourbon glass, his cheeks flushed, and he peeked at me. “He’s a good D-man, and I’m sure he’ll find a home in the NHL after this season.”
“Oh, he will?” Dad lifted his brows and shifted in his seat. “You know something we don’t?”
“Uh…” He chewed his upper lip. “No, but with Dean as his agent, I’m sure something will come up.” With a knowing grin, he nodded slowly.
“Thank you for that, by the way.” Dad tipped the bourbon in his glass, eyeing it, then sipped it.
“You’re very welcome.” Tyler glanced out the picture window at the darkening yard. “What are we doing for dinner tonight?”
“We were going to order in.” With a soft snort, Aaron said, “We’re all sick of leftovers and cooking. What sort of food do you like?”
“I’ll eat just about anything.” Tyler drank the rest of his bourbon down. “But I’ve heard fried clams or lobster rolls are the thing to eat around here.”
“Oh, hell yes.” Aaron stood. “There’s a place around the corner that’s on DoorDash. We’ll order from there.” He slipped his phone out of his pocket.
“That does sound delicious.” Mom gave Tyler a warm smile.