Chapter 2.26 #4
“I am not surprised that you did not wish to relate this story…it is better kept private,” Lady Hardwick finally said.
“And I share Georgiana’s astonishment at Elizabeth’s refusal.
I wonder whether another woman in her position, with the lack of family connections and dowry plus the future threat of the family losing their home, would reject a man in your position —even more so since you could have no other reason to marry her than genuine affection. ”
“It was a response consistent with her poor opinion of me. Her disdain for me was stronger than any worry for her family’s future —and rightfully so, one could argue.”
“That is debatable, my dear,” the countess retorted. “But she was true to herself and did not hesitate to express it, regardless of the consequences. I am not certain whether this is proof of bravery or foolishness. Regardless, Elizabeth is a woman to be admired.”
“William, when did you meet with Lizzy again?”
“When she came to ask for my help after her sister’s elopement.”
“Were you still angry with her at that time?”
“Yes…”
“But you still helped her?”
“I did…”
“I am glad. How ashamed she must have felt to be forced to beg you, and how difficult for you to offer your help against your own feelings. Then I invited her to Pemberley and you both looked so distressed…now I see everything more clearly. You approved of my invitation to her…accepted that you would see her every day. That is why you avoided being in our company.”
“My dear, I shall not deny that your invitation was agonizing both for me and for Miss Bennet. And I shall not conceal from you that we spoke of it before her visit…because we both care for you. It seems a fortunate decision as I can see how wonderfully your friendship has grown. And I dare say Miss Bennet has few regrets about coming to Pemberley.”
“Does Lizzy know the truth now —about George’s deceptions and lies?”
“Yes; I have reason to believe she came to understand the truth on her own some time ago.”
“Surely, her opinion of you has improved significantly. She certainly does not despise you now. She expressed her admiration for you on several occasions; I have heard her myself. And she is not displeased with your company, I know that.”
“I hope she is not. I hope we can be civil in each other’s company as there are three people who are dear to both of us. If for no other reason, at least for Bingley, for her sister, and for mine we must be on friendly terms.”
“Brother…I must ask: Have your feelings for Lizzy changed?” she asked shyly.
The answer came reluctantly. “They have.”
Darcy hoped his sister would be content with that answer and cease the inquiry, but to his surprise, she continued with a wisdom that flustered him.
“But…has your affection for Lizzy diminished?”
“Dearest, I cannot lie to you; neither do I wish to speak of this. Please ask no more and let us end the subject here. You must keep Miss Bennet as the dear, loyal friend she has been to you all this time; the past should be completely forgotten.”
“Neither the past nor the present will be easily forgotten. I offended Lizzy today…I saw her so troubled, so pained, and I still hurt her with my suspicions. I accused her of betraying my trust although I knew she put herself in danger to protect me. How can I ever apologise to her?”
Darcy kissed her hand and stroked her hair.
“She will not hold it against you. She will surely understand the reason behind your words, despite their injustice. It was my concern for her safety that made me behave improperly, but that will never be repeated. I will never again allow circumstances to interfere and put me, you, or Miss Bennet in a distressful situation.”
Georgiana embraced her brother, and he held her tight, stroking her hair.
“Dear brother, I hope I will not have to choose between you and Lizzy. I hope you can become friends. I cannot reconcile myself to the thought that each of you is distressed by the other’s presence and that I forced you into this upsetting situation.
If I could only do something…I feel as if I traded my grief for yours… ”
“Dearest, Miss Bennet told me one day that nothing is more important to her than your peace of mind. We both feel the same on this matter — do not doubt it.”
“I am well now —I hope I will be even better soon —but I wish nothing more than to see you happy. And Lizzy…”
“I wish Miss Bennet every happiness too. Never doubt that.”
There was no formal dinner at Pemberley that evening; the torment of the day was too intense, and more time and rest were needed to calm the spirits that had been stirred.
After his startling confession, Darcy retired to his apartment while Georgiana and the countess discussed the matter for another hour.
Later in the evening, their aunt returned to her rooms, hoping she had left her niece a little more tranquil and on the edge of sleep.
But as soon as she was alone, Georgiana went to Elizabeth’s rooms. She entered slowly and found her friend already asleep.
She crept closer to the bed, and for a few minutes, she stared in silence at the woman who had so dramatically changed their lives, wondering what was in the mind and heart of Miss Elizabeth Bennet.