Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
There goes my night. I return to the bar, but everything is back like it was.
Someone’s singing Olivia Rodrigo terribly, and Kage and Matthieu are right up at the edge of the stage, cheering like they’re watching Olivia herself.
There’s no sign of Daniel or any kind of fight or altercation or whatever even happened after Austin and I got out of there.
Just like there’s no sign of Austin. The only proof I have that any of the last few minutes occurred the way I think they did is the welt on my cheek and the way my chin stings in the places Austin’s stubble scraped over it a moment ago.
When I go back outside again, the parking lot is dead silent. Where the hell did he go?
And why the hell did he kiss me?
I put my hand to my lips, reliving the feeling of his mouth on mine. The hungry sounds he made as he tried to get even closer to me. What the hell? This is even more confusing than some random drunk Frenchman punching me instead of taking the loss and finding someone else to grope.
But where is Austin? He can’t have gone running off into the night. It may be late season, teetering on spring, but it’s still below freezing now that the sun is down and he didn’t even have a coat.
I text him.
Hey? Are you okay?
Where did you go?
I’m still at the bar. We don’t have to talk. Just let me know you’re safe.
It’s a long way up some very dark roads to get back to the resort. He couldn’t have done it on foot. But he doesn’t answer me either.
I wait outside until I’m shivering, thinking he needed a second to himself. But after another twenty minutes, he still hasn’t returned, so I retrieve my jacket from a pile we all made in the corner of one booth when we walked in, then grab Austin’s too.
I’m going back to the hotel. Tell me when you get in.
The whole cab ride up the mountain road, I keep an eye out for Austin trudging in the dark but never see him.
I text a few more times, but they all go unread.
I think about calling Matthieu. Maybe even Ivan.
But Austin is a grown-up and calling the others feels like tattling on him.
Plus I’ll have to tell them what happened after we left the bar.
We got teased enough when we first joined the team.
Were we friends, or were we friends? Some people will be absolutely insufferable if they hear about the two of us kissing behind a sketchy karaoke bar in the middle of the night.
When I walk through the heavy doors into the hotel lobby, Austin is sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs.
“I’m an idiot,” he says when I approach him.
I snort. “That’s not news.” He’s my best friend and I would do anything for him, but Austin’s always been the chaos gremlin in our little pair.
He skis on instinct. Makes decisions on the fly.
Most of the time that works for him. Works for us.
He dreams big and I come up with the plan and execute.
But right now, I need him to come back to earth so we can talk.
“I shouldn’t have run away like that.”
That’s probably as close to an apology as I’m going to get, so I say, “Yeah, that wasn’t a great choice.”
But we’re both still clearly skiing on different terrain, because he says, “My room key was in my coat.”
Oh. And here I thought we were going to have an adult conversation about what happened back there.
“Jesus, did you run all the way up here?” I wasn’t that far behind him. We may be well matched on skis, and Austin’s always been able to outrun me, but for him to make it the whole way without me overtaking him in a literal car seems impossible.
“I needed some air. Clear my head.” He shivers. When I grab his hand, it’s like ice.
“Come on,” I say, pulling him to his feet.
“Where?” he asks. He still won’t quite look at me.
“Upstairs.” To our room which, right now, is a less-than-ideal situation if he’s going to continue making this uncomfortable, but whatever. I’ll make sure he’s okay, then we can both crash. This whole night has been weird. Better to bring it to a close now that I know everyone’s safe.
Yet as soon as the elevator doors shut, Austin rounds on me, once again backing me up against the wall. He lingers there, mouth an inch away from mine. The tip of his nose brushes my cheek and even that’s cold.
“I really want to kiss you again,” he says, voice rough. “I should probably tell you I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while now.”
My brain goes blank. What am I supposed to say to that? He’s my best friend. We tell each other everything. Exactly how long is “a while,” and why didn’t he say anything sooner?
But the only thing that comes out of my mouth is, “Uh. Yeah.”
Austin takes that as an invitation, and maybe it is. Once again, his mouth crashes down on mine. He grabs hold of my clothes, and the bar that runs around the perimeter of the elevator makes me arch my hips forward.
“Zed,” he says softly, using the nickname I told him I hated when we were still kids but he somehow never gave up on.
“Uh-huh?”
“I really wasn’t flirting with Daniel.”
Are we back to that again? I’m already over that whole thing. Have been for a while. Seems like the least of my worries at this point.
“No problem,” I say. Why are we talking about that French assbag anyway? There are far more important matters immediately at hand.
But Austin’s intent on explaining himself.
“I haven’t flirted with anyone in months. Not since I realized I wanted you. Like, I’m totally, deeply, completely into you.”
The elevator comes to a stop and the doors open on a soft whoosh.
We don’t move. Truthfully, I’m afraid to do anything because I’m so close to getting even the barest of answers and I don’t want to break the spell like I did when I said his name.
A few seconds later the doors close again, though the elevator stays on our floor.
“You what?” I ask.
The elevator goes so dead silent I can practically hear both our heartbeats. Or maybe it’s that mine is so loud there’s no room for anything else in my ears.
The elevator starts descending again. Shit.
Austin licks his lips, but when he exhales, his whole body relaxes, like he’s come to a decision.
“I want you, Zed. Like, a lot. All the time. When we’re training. Sleeping. Being with you . . . like, getting to touch you. Maybe even fuck someday . . . that’s pretty much all I want.”
He what?
“Are you screwing with me?” I try to crack a smile, but it fades just as quickly when his expression stays serious.
Little spots of colour rise up on his cheeks.
He’s waiting for me to respond, and despite my surprise, I’m certain my answer is about to make some big decisions between us.
So what do I say? Even if I were going to answer that I was flattered but maybe we should talk about it later when we haven’t had anything to drink and everyone was calmer, I would never want to hurt Austin.
Only, I do want him. How could I not be attracted to him too? If he were a stranger, with his good looks and athletic build, I would want him the second I saw him. And since he knows me better than anyone else and still puts up with my ass . . .
“Hey,” I say, snagging one of his beltloops. “Hey. It’s okay. Let’s go upstairs. Together.”
The elevator doors slide open, once again revealing the lobby beyond.
Before Austin can do another kiss-and-run, a group of women step on, forcing him back so he’s standing beside me.
The doors slide shut. They all have their backs to us, chatting about their trip here and who wants to stay up late watching Netflix.
Austin is standing shoulder to shoulder with me.
He looks like he’s not breathing again. I scoot an inch closer to him, then let my hand fall, bumping against his knuckles once, twice, until finally I feel one of his fingers tangle with mine, then another.
I grab hold of him, clasping his hand like a lifeline.
The women get off on the floor before ours and even when we’re alone again, we don’t speak.
My heart is racing. Because of what he’s said, and what’s about to happen.
It’s Austin. I’m never going to want to only have sex with him and not talk about it again.
Are we even having sex? He said he wanted to someday.
Did he mean now? Maybe he only wants to cuddle until we get a few more things figured out?
Maybe I’m overthinking everything for no reason.
We walk down the hall silently, still with our hands joined. There’s no one around and my heart is in my throat. When I swipe my key card over the lock, my hands shake. I walk through the door, but Austin stays where he is, looking absolutely terrified.
“If we’re doing this,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel. “I can’t take my clothes off with the door open. Someone might see.”
That gets him moving. He stumbles over the threshold like I’ve finally said the magic words that will bring this Austin-shaped doll to life.
The second the door closes behind him, he’s on me again.
It’s like he only has two modes: terrified and hungry.
Before I can say anything else, his hands are pulling at my clothes.
When he can’t get them off fast enough, he starts tugging at his own too, stripping the flannel and the clingy black base layer beneath in one go.
“Can we fuck tonight?” he asks, so apparently we really are going from zero to a hundred.
Though that’s hardly surprising. Austin and I have always been at our best when we’re going as fast as possible, just on this side of losing control.
Still, I can’t stop the little zing of nerves in my belly when he takes my hands and asks, “Do you want to?”
Oh, I definitely want to. My hands and eyes rove over his naked chest. The flat stomach.
Broad shoulders. The light brown hair that swirls over his pecs and down lower, disappearing beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Who wouldn’t want to fuck Austin Grimm, especially when he looks at them the way he’s looking at me now?
I kiss him. Maybe for the first time. He’s been the one out in front all night, but I’m finally starting to catch up.
My tongue finds his and he moans with so much relief I can feel it all the way to my toes.
This time, when he tugs at my shirt, I lift my arms over my head to help him.
We tumble onto the bed and I cover his body with mine while also shimmying out of my pants.
His skin has warmed up quickly and his strong hands cup my ass as he rocks against me.
“This isn’t because of the beer, right?” I ask as I kiss his throat. “You’re not going to sober up in a few hours and realize this was all a mistake?”
He bites my lower lip and the sting makes me hiss.
“The run up the hill cleared me right up,” he says. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”
He definitely does, wrapping a strong thigh over my hip to roll us so I’m on my back.
Then he scoots down the mattress, until he’s sprawled between my thighs.
The outline of my cock is pretty evident in the tight fit of my briefs.
Austin gives me a quick look, pale eyes twinkling, before he runs his tongue over the material, making my dick jump as it tries to escape the elastic.
“Holy shit,” I say, arching up.
“Hold on,” he says, peeling my underwear down. “I’m just getting started.”