Chapter 4 Laken
LAKEN
Iscrubbed at the stained bathroom sink until my fingers ached, but no amount of bleach or scrubbing was going to silence the thoughts running through my head.
I’d been trying to distract myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Skid and the expression on his face when I said I worked at the Royale. It was a mix of disgust and surprise.
I couldn’t exactly blame him. I felt the same way about it.
The rooms smelled like disinfectant and cheap perfume, and the clientele wasn’t much better.
I hated it here. I hated the stale air, the sticky carpets, and the creepy men who came in and out of the rooms with sweat trickling down their backs. I hated everything about it.
It didn’t help matters that I’d just been propositioned by a grimy old man. He’d just stepped out of his room, and when he spotted me walking by, he leaned against his door frame with an eerie grin. “Hey there, pretty lady.”
I nodded and kept moving, guiding Baylor to hurry past him.
I avoided eye contact, but that didn’t stop him from saying, “Why don’t you and your little girl come join us… You can watch or join in. The choice is yours.”
My stomach dropped. I feared he might come after us, so I opened the door to one of the empty rooms and darted inside. As I turned the lock, I heard him shout, “We’d make it worth your while!”
I pushed my cart against the handle, making sure there was no way for him to get inside.
Moments later, I heard his door close. I wasn’t taking any chances, so I waited several minutes before opening the door and rushing to our next room.
It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened, and it wouldn’t be the last.
It was just another reminder of how badly I needed to get us out of there.
There was no telling what Skid thought when he found out this was where I spent my day, and even worse, where I brought my daughter.
It made me wonder if he’d noticed that the apartment didn’t have power.
I don’t know how he could’ve missed it. I was the only one on the block without lights. Then, he finds out where I work.
It was impossible not to be embarrassed, but my pride didn’t matter.
Pride didn’t put food on the table.
Normally, I wouldn’t care what a man thought about me or where I worked. But there was something about him.
There was kindness in his eyes that was becoming harder and harder to find.
I’m not sure I’d ever truly found it. I thought back to the night I told Kevin I was pregnant.
I could still remember everything about that night.
What I was wearing. What he was wearing.
The color of the sky. The smell of his cologne. It was carved into me like a nightmare.
Kevin and I dated for almost two years, and I thought we had a real future together. He was older than me with a full-time job, and I was taking a few classes at the community college and working part-time at the local drug store.
We’d talked about the future and possibly getting married.
But it was just idle talk.
I realized that when I told him I was pregnant. Sadly, that wasn’t the case.
It was late. We’d just finished watching a movie, and I’d followed him out to his truck to say goodbye. He gave me a quick kiss, then opened his door and slid inside. He was about to turn the ignition when I said, “Wait. I need to tell you something.”
“What?”
I reached into my back pocket, and my hands were shaking so bad I nearly dropped the test on the ground. He took it from my hands, and his brows furrowed as he glanced down at the two pink lines. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yeah. Apparently so.”
His face was completely void of expression as he asked, “You’re gonna get rid of it, right?”
“I don’t know.” Anger marked his face when I said, “I was thinking about keeping it.”
“I got a life. I don’t want no baby, Laken.” He started the truck and leaned out the window as he snarled, “Get rid of it or we’re done.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Try me.”
Without saying another word, he backed out of my driveway and sped off. It wasn’t the answer I was hoping for, but it told me everything I needed to know. He wanted no part of this baby, and that meant no future with me. It was tough, but telling my parents was even worse.
It took me several days to muster up the courage to tell my mother about the pregnancy.
I knew she wouldn’t be happy with me. My folks worked hard to keep food on the table and clothes on our backs, but it never seemed like it was enough.
We were always struggling. Mom was one to think that prayer was the answer, and if we just followed the right path, God would find a way to provide.
And there were times when He did, but there were others when He didn’t.
Those days and months were rough. We struggled to just get by, and those were the days when I felt more like a burden than a daughter.
My parents weren’t bad. They tried, but they were tired and frustrated with the life they’d been dealt.
I knew this, but for reasons I couldn’t explain, I held onto this small, desperate hope that they would understand my predicament and would help me. But when I went into the kitchen and broke the news to my mother, her face went pale. “What were you thinking?”
“I didn’t plan on this, Mom. It was a mistake.”
“You’re damn right it was a mistake.” She threw the dishrag in the sink with a huff. “You can’t have that baby here, Laken. Your father and I work too hard for you to screw things up like this. We won’t be a part of it.”
“What are you saying?”
“We can either handle it and put this all behind us, or you have to go.” She crossed her arms, and it was impossible to miss the disappointment in her eyes when she said, “You’re nineteen years old.
You’re old enough to make your own choice, and you’re old enough to deal with it.
You clearly were not following the path God wanted for you or this wouldn’t have happened. Now you have to face the consequences.”
There was no screaming. She didn’t make any idle threats.
She just laid it out and left it up to me to make the choice.
I didn’t decide right away. I knew I would be leaving a hard life for an even harder one, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of terminating the pregnancy and couldn’t believe my mom would even suggest it.
But I decided to keep the baby, which meant I had to move out.
Thankfully, Mom let me keep my car. It was only fair.
I’d paid for most of it, and she gave me a handful of cash.
It wasn’t much, but it was something. I packed what I could fit into the Corolla, closed the door to the only home I’d ever known, and drove away with nothing but an aching heart and a baby I refused to give up on.
I had no plan. Just a simple promise.
I would love her enough to make up for the family that turned their back on us, and so far, I’d done just that.
I stayed with friends and family until I could save up enough for a deposit on the apartment.
Once I found a place I could afford, I started collecting furniture from second-hand stores and yard sales. Slowly but surely, I made us a home.
I might not have much, but I had all the love in the world, and I would give it to her every chance I got. I glanced over in the corner and smiled when I found her coloring in her book. “How’s the picture coming?”
“I made it snow.”
She lifted it up to show me, and sure enough, the page was all black with little white specks all over it. “Wow, that’s really pretty, sweetie.”
“You can put it on da fridge.”
“I sure can. It will look great there.”
I glanced down at my watch, and my chest tightened when I saw that it was almost seven.
Skid would be there soon, and when I thought about him showing up with greased-stained hands and those green eyes that say a little too much, I couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t coming out of pity.
Maybe he was coming because he wanted to.
By the time I finished with the bathroom, my back ached, and my knees were threatening to give out. Thankfully, it was time for dinner break. Baylor had been good, coloring and playing quietly while I worked, but I knew she had to be tired and hungry.
I walked over and ran my fingers through her hair. “Are you ready to get a bite to eat?”
“We’re gettin’ burgers.”
“We sure are.” I gave her a smile. “At least, I hope so. We have to go out front and see if Skid made it.”
“Okay.”
She hopped down from the counter, and after I pushed my cart into the corner, we stepped out of the room and started down the hall.
When we made it to the front door, I scanned the parking lot, and it didn’t take long to spot Skid’s truck in the center of the lot.
As soon as he spotted us, he stepped out, and Baylor and I walked over to him.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” He looked over to Baylor with a smile. “Hey, to you, too.”
“Hey,” Baylor giggled.
“You look different. I mean, you look good.” I’d thought it, but I hadn’t meant to say it. I felt like a complete idiot as my eyes dropped to his oh-so-tight fitted t-shirt and rugged jeans. “I mean, um… You don’t have grease on your clothes.”
“No, not this time.” He shrugged and chuckled. “I actually had time to shower.”
“I see.” He was even more handsome than I’d remembered. His dark eyes pierced straight through me as he stood there. He was so close, just a few inches from me, but my mind was still finding it hard to believe that he was there. “It’s really sweet of you to bring us dinner.”
“I had ulterior motives.”
“Is that so?”
“Absolutely.” A sexy smirk crossed his face as he winked and said, “It gave me an excuse to spend some time with you two pretty ladies.”
“Well, Baylor has been looking forward to it all day.”
“She’s not the only one.”