Chapter 25
When she woke next, Linney’s head was clearer, and a nurse helped her sit up and have a proper drink of water. The effort exhausted her. Even without her glasses, Linney could tell from the darkness outside the windows that it was evening. She still had an IV in her arm, which they said was delivering medication to dull the pain. Linney wasn’t sure how much good it was doing, but the nurse—her name was Freida—told her she wouldn’t have it for much longer.
Alone again with Mac, who looked rumpled and exhausted, Linney knew she would have to summon the courage to deal with him.
“Mac, why are you here?” she asked wearily.
He shrugged. “I had to come. We’ve got too much history.” He took a ragged breath and raked his hands through his dishevelled hair. “And I sent you there.” It was an apology of sorts.
“Don’t be silly. You send reporters everywhere.” It wasn’t his fault that she was there.
She reached for her phone and when she turned it on, it started buzzing frantically with notifications. So many people were desperately trying to get hold of her. She held it to her chest and closed her eyes, tired just thinking about having to explain this to everyone. She opened them again. “I need to call home.”
“Already taken care of. I’ve been keeping Derek updated regularly since you arrived yesterday and he’s been passing information on to your brother.” He gave her a sad smile. “You only beat me here by a couple of hours.”
What he’d said sank in. “You called Derek?” She could only imagine how that went. She’d poured her heart out to Derek many times while she and Mac were together.
“He’s worried about you.”
“Thank you. Still, I should talk to Jake.” She raised the phone again and squinted at the screen. “Can you help get me some new glasses?” He looked relieved to have something useful to do and jumped up quickly. “And then, Mac?” He turned back to look at her. “Go home. You look like hell.”
* * *
When the TCN “breaking news”theme music started playing—Linney had programmed Derek’s phone with it years ago as a joke and he’d never changed it—he answered quickly. He’d never been so happy to hear the sound.
“Linney?”
“I’m okay, Derek. Tired and hurting, but okay.”
“It’s so good to hear your voice. I’m so sorry about what I … we’ve been so worried about you.”
“I don’t think I’m going back to Syria any time soon,” she said, her mouth twisting up into a wry smile.
“What do you need? Do you want me to come to Germany? Whatever you want. We’re all here for you.”
“Don’t come. At least not now. I need some time to figure out what’s next.”
“You’re not alone, are you? Mac’s still there?” It pained him to ask, but he didn’t think she should be alone.
“He’s here, but I’m trying to send him back. He’s got work and I can’t have him here feeling guilty about this. It’s not good for either of us.”
Derek waited as he heard Linney suck in a breath between her teeth and then whimper. She was clearly in a lot of pain.
“Did he tell you about Ernst?”
“He did. I’m so sorry for your loss, Linney. And I’m sorry for what I said.”
“We all knew the dangers.” She swallowed hard. “And we weren’t in love. But I’m going to miss him.” A wave of exhaustion came over her. “I’m so tired, Derek. Can I call you back later?”
“You can call me any time of day,” he answered, and he heard her yawn. “You rest now and I’ll give Jake a call to keep him up to speed.”
“Don’t let him come,” she mumbled, as sleep overtook her and the phone fell from her hand to the bed.
Derek pulled up Jake’s number and proceeded to pass on all the information he had.
“Have you spoken with her doctor? What does he say?” Jake was desperate for information.
“I haven’t. I didn’t think that was my place. But Mac gave me his name and I have the number of the hospital. I’ll text you the details when we’re done.”
“Honestly, Derek, how did she sound to you?”
“She sounds weak and tired, but that’s to be expected after what she’s been through. She did at least attempt a joke, so that’s a good sign.”
“I need to get on a plane.” Jake wanted to take action.
“I know what you mean. I feel the same way. But she doesn’t want it. Not yet.”
“I’m not sure my sister gets a vote in this. I need to get on a plane,” he reiterated.
“Jake, listen to me for a minute. They don’t keep people in the hospital long for hip surgery these days. This may be a little more complicated because of her other injuries, but I expect the hospital will want to release her sooner than we think.”
“Release her?! They can’t do that!”
“Exactly. I have a feeling they’ll find a local rehabilitation centre where she can recover and get physiotherapy. And when she gets there, that might be a better time for visitors. I’m guessing after that, TCN will get her back to London.” Linney had kept her Notting Hill flat.
“London? No, when she’s released, she’ll come home.” Jake was adamant. “She’ll stay with me.”
Derek tried to be delicate. “We don’t know if she considers Canada home anymore, do we? And even if she does, home would be Silver Lake, not Toronto. Remember, she’s been away for a long time now. Almost her entire adult life.” It saddened him, and could tell this wasn’t something Jake hadn’t thought of yet. “If I hear anything else, I’ll text you. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Linney calls you tomorrow.”
Derek spent much of the evening pretending to catch up on work but thinking back to the adventures he and Linney had as young children. Linney had arrived in Silver Lake a grieving child not much older than his Leo was now.
She never had been one to shy away from adventure, and once she got over the loss of her parents, she dragged him along with her. She’d always been the more impulsive of them, and it had landed her in trouble more than once. Derek smiled, remembering she’d fallen out of a tree and broken her arm just in time for her tenth birthday. Derek had run for her grandmother. He dried her tears when her high school boyfriend dumped her. When they were in university, he took her to the hospital when she’d somehow put a skate blade through the skin of her calf at a city skating rink. And then there was that time, he remembered, when she stood up in a canoe quoting poetry during one of their evening paddles and toppled over the edge, coming up from the water sputtering. It hadn’t surprised him at all when Linney had taken an overseas journalism position and then parlayed it into a job as a correspondent in a war zone. But this was something Derek didn’t know how to rescue her from.
* * *
As Freida had promised,the IV came out the next day. Linney was still in a lot of pain, but it was time to wean her off the strong drugs. When she struggled to her feet with a great deal of assistance, she turned green and the room started to spin.
“I’m going to be sick.” Linney’s hand flew to her mouth.
Freida sat her down quickly. “Breathe,” she ordered and Linney took a few shallow breaths and then some deeper ones. It took three attempts but finally, she was upright, clutching to a walker like an old lady. Mac watched her, like an anxious father.
She sent him away. “You’re making me nervous,” she snapped.
Reluctantly, he set off to give her some space. He could use the time to pick up her new glasses and get a much-needed cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Despite what she told him to do yesterday, not only had he not gone home, he hadn’t left the hospital. Caffeine was the only thing keeping him going.
Freida helped Linney navigate through the wide hospital doorway. “He must love you a lot,” she said. “He hasn’t left your side since he got here.”
Linney grimaced as she began to shuffle slowly down the out-of-focus hospital hall. She hated being so entirely reliant on Freida, or on anyone, truth be told. Her head was feeling marginally better but her ribs hurt almost as much as her hip.
“We’re not a couple. He’s my boss.” She saw Freida’s eyebrows raise, and she continued more softly, “But we were together once.” Linney stopped to catch her breath. This was harder than she thought it would be. Finally, she made it around the little loop and Freida helped her back into bed.
“The doctor will be pleased,” she said. “We’ll do it again later, and I can teach your boss how to help you stand up. For now, you rest.”
Linney nodded and yawned. Another frustrating wave of fatigue was already threatening to overtake her and her eyelids fluttered closed.
* * *
Derek wasat the kitchen counter pouring cereal into bowls for Leo and Ivy”s breakfast before summer camp when Linney’s TCN theme played on his phone. “Shhhhh,” he said to them, as he tried to listen to Linney.
“You sound better this morning,” he said after she greeted him.
“Maybe it’s because I was up walking,” she said. Derek was surprised, but she explained it helped prevent blood clots and other complications. “It’s a lot harder than I remember,” she joked. “The walker makes me feel like I’m ancient. Even Gran never had one of those!”
“How long will they keep you there?” he asked.
“A few weeks at least, I think. It’s complicated by the fact that to get back to London, I have to get on a train or a plane, and then I have four flights of stairs to deal with.”
“I’ve been passing news on to Jake,” Derek told her as he poured a cup of coffee. “But I think he’d like a call if you’re up to it.”
Linney sighed. “It’s so much easier to talk to you, but I know you’re right. I’ll call him later today. Kiss the kids for me. I have to go now. Someone’s at my door.” She heard the muffled sounds of Derek passing on the message and the little ones shouting their thanks before she hung up the call.
“You have children?” asked Doctor Fischer as he read her chart.
“They’re my best friend’s kids,” she rushed to assure him. “But I love them like they’re my own.”
He checked her over again, had a look at the swelling on her head that was starting to go down, and checked her eyes again with a frown. Just then, Mac joined them, fuzzy in the distance, but becoming sharper as he got closer.
“Look what I have,” he teased.
“Thank goodness.” Linney couldn’t wait to be able to see properly. She opened the case, perched the new glasses on her nose, and the world finally came into focus. “That’s so much better.” She frowned and blinked several times.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. Something’s just different. Not quite right.” She turned to the doctor. “You were looking at my eyes. Is there a problem?”
“There’s something I’m a bit concerned about,” he admitted. “We know you hit your head, so it may resolve itself as the swelling continues to go down, but right now, your right eye isn’t responding normally to light. That’s what I was checking yesterday and again today.”
“What?”
“I expect that it’s just some swelling around the optical nerve. We’ll watch it over the next day or two and do some tests. I will probably resolve. The nurse said you felt dizzy and nauseated when you first stood up. That’s probably why. You’re seeing in two dimensions rather than three right now.”
“But you think it will get better on its own?” Mac was the first to ask the question.
“Quite likely,” confirmed the doctor, putting down the chart, where he’d been writing notes. “I’ll be back to check on you tomorrow, Ms. McDonnell.” Mac walked out with the doctor.
Linney tapped her finger nervously on the hospital tray table before finally pulling up Jake’s name on her phone.
“Linney? Is that really you? How are you? Should I come? What do you need?” Questions tumbled out of Jake’s mouth, betraying how worried he was.
Slowly the details of the bombing were coming back and Linney explained what she could remember and what had happened since she’d arrived in Germany. “I’m okay. I mean, I get tired easily, and it’s going to be a rough road, but I’ll be fine.” She chose not to share her vision issues until they knew if they were real. She continued quietly, “I’ll be here for a while though.”
“I want to come,” he said, gruffly, his voice full of emotion.
“You’d just be sitting around, Jake. There’s no point in it. Maybe later, but not yet.”
They talked for a while and Linney yawned. “Give Rachael and the kids my love, okay? I’ll call again soon. But now, I need to rest for a bit.”
“Take care, and remember we love you.”
* * *
Linney was up walking twice morethat day, determined to do all she could to speed up her recovery. She spoke with Freida and with Dr. Fischer about the next steps after she was released from the hospital. She couldn’t go back to her flat in London, but a long flight to Canada wasn’t advisable yet either. They suggested a respected rehabilitation facility on the other side of the city, where the staff spoke English.
The physical exertion tired Linney out more than she wanted to admit, but she insisted Mac go to his hotel that evening and she slept peacefully. In her dreams, she slipped back to Silver Lake. Anna was sitting on the end of Linney’s dock with her toes dipped in the lake, and a glass of iced tea in her hand, looking as if she’d swallowed a watermelon. Kirsten and Linney were sitting on either side of her, each with a hand on her stomach, grinning each time the baby inside kicked.
“It’s amazing. Do you have a whole football team in there?” joked Kirsten.
Linney’s dream skipped forward. Anna had two little girls in her arms now and looked tired but happy. Her dream skipped again to university, when she came home each summer and working at Page Turners. She would kayak home at the end of each day and walk up from the dock through her grandmother’s perfumed cottage garden. It always smelled so lovely.
The floral scent pierced through her dream and opening her eyes slowly, Linney saw a huge bouquet beside her. She put on her glasses and the pretty wildflower blooms came into focus. Reading the card, she smiled. It was from the newsroom—with so many of her favourites that she knew MJ must have been involved.
They’re beautiful. Please thank everyone for me.
??
Mac driving you crazy? Say the word and I’ll invent an emergency to bring him back.
You’re the best. I miss you.
Thought I’d come this weekend if that’s OK.
You don’t need to.
But I’d really like that.
I’ll be there.
Knowing she’d have a friend there soon gave Linney the strength to finally read and respond to the multitude of emails and text messages she’d received from family, friends, and colleagues. There were so many messages of concern that she had tears in her eyes just reviewing them.
She was relieved to find out that her friends were fine. Most had escaped with just a few scrapes, and sent their condolences about Ernst. Linney hadn’t known the other three journalists who were killed, but she knew their families must be mourning. Hassan and Grant sent many messages and were keeping up the bureau with the help of a stringer until she could return.
She texted Jake suggesting a call a little later. She’d caught sight of her face in a mirror and didn’t think a video chat was a good idea just yet. And she needed a shower.