Chapter 13
STARTING OVER…?
CADENCE
I got perfect grades on everything. I didn’t feel a single bit of what I was supposed to.
My last practical for the semester was exhausting, a high-stakes enchantment casting exam, and I did get hit in the stomach by an enchanted bowling ball, but it didn’t hurt as much as the emotional punch to the gut had hurt, so really, my gut was fine.
I was a little hunched over the table in the galeria when Rosie found me, though. Maybe my gut was still hurting, just a bit.
“God, I’ve missed summer,” Rosie said, stretching her arms over her head, and I saw the look of panic on her features when she realized, her skin going glassy white for an instant. “I mean—summer vacation. I’ve missed June and July and August. And a bit of May.”
“I’ve missed Summer too,” I said, looking down at where Knot curled up around my wrist. He’d been clingy ever since Summer and I had broken up. Sensing my distress and just trying to do anything he could to make me feel better.
“You have not. You hate hot weather and you just want to study.”
“Mm.”
“Oh, you mean—sorry.” She took my teacup, looking down at the dregs on the bottom. “Do you want more tea?”
“I’m all right…” I said, voice hoarse and small and dry, and she nodded, taking the cup.
“More tea. Coming right up. Do you want cookies with it?”
“I don’t need cookies.” Saints, why was I crying? My voice was shaky and weak. I buried my face in my hands. I’d already cried enough about Summer. Days now where the only things I’d been doing were exams, studying, and crying.
A minute later, Rosie came back with a tray of two cups of tea, and a plate of small cookies. I sniffled, wiped my face, and I took the tea, sipping it.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, sweetheart. Anytime. What are friends for?”
“Handling their friends being sad miserable sacks barely good for the materials they carry, crying over a girl she knew she was going to leave anyway?” My voice got thicker with tears as I went until I sounded thin and hysterical at the end, and she got up, moved her chair around to my side, and she hugged me.
I buried my face against her shoulder and cried, and she stroked my back reassuringly.
“There, there,” she whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay to be a sad sack.”
“I just miss her,” I mumbled against her shoulder. “I’m genuinely never finding someone as good as she was.”
She sighed. “You know, Cades… I think true love is relative.”
I sniffled. “I-I know. I’ll find someone I care about… at some point, I guess… but—”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just—we’re all changing all the time, always growing, in response to the world, to ourselves, to each other.
Not even a diviner can tell you the person you’re truly meant to be with.
And I just feel like… if that supposed true love is really meant to be with Summer, then she’ll come back around at some point, won’t she?
But if you and Summer are happy together, why run away from that? ”
“Because. I’m a loser and I only got a chance with her because of a stupid flower.”
“That flower was just stupid fey tricks anyway. The important part is that there’s a girl who loves you and you love her. Even if a flower did help you get there, the place you got to is that she loves you for you. There’s no reason to run away from that!”
“I’d just worry forever I’m keeping her from someone better… it would torture me.”
“At a certain point, you have to trust a person to make choices for herself. You should ask her. Before she leaves Starfall for the sum… until fall.”
I wiped my eyes. “You can say summer as in like the season.”
“I just don’t want to rub salt in the wound!”
I smiled thinly at her through the remnants of tears. “I already told her once she’s back in the fall, we’ll be friends. And maybe from there, if we’re really right for each other, maybe then…”
“That’s so long. When the person you love is right there!”
“Can you maybe… teach me some duel techniques?”
She blinked. “Oh, saints, are you gonna spark someone out over her?”
“No. I just… I just want to grow,” I said, my voice getting small and soft.
“I want to be… courageous enough to reach out and take what’s right for me, even if I have to fight for it.
Without having to have a magic flower give it to me under some weird curse conditions.
So I thought… well, maybe it would be good for me. ”
She stared at me for a minute before she pulled me into a hug.
“You’ll be a great duelist,” she said. “I’ll contract some teleporter to set up a circle between our places so we can hang out all the time over the summer and practice together.
Next time we’re at Starfall, it’s on sight for anyone who wants to cross you.
If it’s what you want, I’ll take you to all the spell-meets, you can have some friendly duels, maybe some unfriendly ones.
You’re a spell still being shaped, Cadence.
The future is still open. You can be anything you want to. ”
I sniffled, nodded, and I buried my face against her collar, letting her give me a crushing hug. “That sounds really nice,” I whispered. “Let’s do that.”
I didn’t notice anybody else coming into the galeria until Kali’s voice made a soft oh from behind me, and I looked back at where she stepped in to give me a hug too, squeezing me.
“You sure you don’t want me to track her down and talk sense into her?” Kali said, and I laughed thickly.
“You’re one to talk about talking sense into someone when you and Viv still haven’t gotten together…”
“Oh,” she laughed. “Viv—no. Not my type.”
“You’re such a liar.”
It was Viv’s voice that came into the room next, walking around the corner with a flask of coffee—black, naturally. “What’s Kali lying about this time?”
“Oh, nothing,” I said. Viv raised an eyebrow at me.
“You look like a wartcat’s chew toy.”
“I’m fine,” I said thickly. “I have… I have cookies.”
Rosie spoke up. “She’s going to try out some duelist techniques over the… break, and come into her own.”
Kali grinned. “Oh, yeah? We should do some physical training together.”
Even Viv lit up a little. “I know some summoning rituals to empower you.”
A door slammed open, and I looked at where Opal came out of their dorm, wet hair and wearing a towel, seemingly mid-shower when they heard it and came out saying, “Empowered artifacts!? I can help!”
Rosie smiled at them. “Maybe we’ll get a duelist’s artifact into Cadence’s hands, too!”
Opal lit up. “Yeah? I can dig up some info!” They ran back into their room, rummaging around in cabinets and drawers, seemingly forgetting the shower was still running. Even Drake, who didn’t leave his room much and preferred to be buried in a stack of books, probably would have helped me too.
I had something good. I’d just never really let myself realize it before. A whole group of people who wanted to support me in becoming whoever I wanted to become.
It was only missing one person. Saints, two people. I’d even grown attached to Lumi.
I’d have gotten attached to anything that reminded me of Summer.