4. The Assembly Will Provide #3
I hesitate – but only briefly. I know I should be more suspicious, but my thirst is overpowering everything else. I snatch one from the ground and gulp it down.
Water. Just water.
I breathe out in relief.
Drake has picked up the other waterskin. He sniffs it before drinking from it, which he does without the frenzy I’d shown.
“I thought you might both be thirsty,” the man decrees, again in his light, airy voice, as if we’ve all met for dinner. “My brother has never been the most welcoming of hosts.”
Brother?
And then I think, of course. I’d instantly seen the resemblance.
He steps closer, extending a long, gloved hand to Drake.
“And yes. You were correct, young man. My name is Dezeeves. My family name is Pire.”
Very slowly, Drake takes the man’s hand, watching him carefully while he shakes it.
The man then turns to me to shake mine. I don’t really hold my hand out – he just sort of takes it. His handshake is firm, compressing. If fingers could breathe, he would be stopping mine from it. I’m relieved when he finally lets go.
“I am the Emperor’s Captain,” he continues, in that same airy voice. “Not the Captain of the Emperor, and the Emperor is certainly not the captain of me. I prefer Dezeeves to Captain Pire, Pire to Captain, Sir to Pire, and Captain to Sir.” He smiles again. “It’s really all quite simple.”
I cast a glance at Drake. He looks, for a second, as dumbfounded as I feel.
“Of course, you could just call me Dez. But then I’d have to kill you.” He laughs. The sound is harsh, like the grinding of an unoiled machine.
And I understand it perfectly now.
We’re in the presence of a madman.
Drake composes himself. Maybe he’s decided to humour him, because he asks, in a serious tone, “Tell us your purpose in visiting us, Dezeeves.”
I find myself again impressed by Drake’s ability to speak Hevallan. His words and grammar are clear.
But Dezeeves just turns away from us to set the torch into a wall sconce.
Drake tries again, firmer this time.
“There is no need for suspense. Just tell us you are taking us onto The Emperor, and go ahead and do it. If that is what you plan to do.”
Taking us onto The Emperor?
Dezeeves faces us again. “So, you’ve understood.”
“I have heard of you,” Drake says, calmly. “Your conversion work—”
Dezeeves interrupts. “Integration. Not conversion work—”
Drake interrupts him. “There would be no other logical reason you would be here, away from your ship. And you would think me a good candidate for it, knowing I am—”
“I know exactly what, and who, you are, Drake.”
Dezeeves no longer looks crazy.
He looks perfectly, compellingly, sane.
It’s frightening.
Under my breath, I ask Drake, “How does he know your name?”
Drake says nothing.
Leisurely, Dezeeves turns to me.
“And you,” he says, as though only now remembering I’m also here. His next words make my mind whirl even more. “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”
“Breakfast?” I can hardly see straight. I’m too mentally exhausted to do anything other than go along with the madness. “Bread and jam.”
“If a bell rang in an empty village, and there was no one around to hear it, would it still be time for Temple?”
“What? No. I don’t think so.”
“If you were the happiest man alive, could you ever be more happy? Or would you only become unhappier, one laugh at a time?”
“Of course you could become even happier.”
“But you would already be the happiest.”
“Yes, but… This is ridiculous—”
“Let’s talk about good men. If a man is good, but his intentions are bad, is he a good man, or a bad man?”
“A bad man.’’
“If your intention is good, but your choices are bad, are you a good man, or a bad man?”
“A bad man. Again.”
“So, what would make a good man?”
“Just being a good man. Regardless of what your intentions are.”
“You’re saying choice is more powerful than intention?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Just stop.”
“Very well.” Slowly, he starts clapping.
I can’t hide the complete bewilderment from my face.
He addresses Drake. “She did well, didn’t she?”
Drake is watching me with interest.
“What?” I ask.
Dezeeves’ smile grows. “I asked you about your breakfast in Seperan. About bells in Lartosi. I thought I might catch you out with happy men in Lorallahan, but of course you rose to the challenge. We then chatted about good men, all in a distinct dialect of Crallian I’ve only heard used in some of the southernmost swamps.
And to finish strong, I hit you with a question about bad men in the language of Veer, because surely I’d best you there – the island being so remote and the people so, well, chilly.
But you surprised me there too. We could no longer continue the test, as that exhausts the languages I know – other than Rhavnan, which I saw no reason to test you in.
” He takes a breath, seemingly for the first time during this speech.
“And, as surprising me happens so very rarely these days – I thank you.”
I stand frozen as his words sink in.
“You were speaking different languages?”
“Yes.”
“And I…”
My eyes land on Drake again. He looks faintly amused.
As if sensing the question I can’t seem to voice aloud, he nods, slowly.
“You were answering him in them.”