CHAPTER FOUR
“Can I talk to you about something, Mom?” Aiden asked once Willow had finished her dinner, taken a bath, and was asleep in her bed.
His mom looked up from the embroidery hoop she held in her hand. After slipping the needle into the edge of the fabric, she set the hoop down on her lap, then pushed her glasses onto the top of her head and gave Aiden her full attention.
“What’s going on, sweetheart?”
Aiden hesitated, knowing that what he said next was going to change things. He didn’t want his mom to look at him with disappointment, but he knew she would.
“I need to tell you about something,” he began, searching for a good starting point. He’d made the decision to be honest with her, but now that he was at that moment, he wanted to lie. “I didn’t tell you the truth about why Skylar and I broke up.”
His mom frowned. “Skylar Halverson?”
He nodded. “I know this seems out of the blue, but I promise you it will make sense.”
Her frown morphed into confusion. “Okay?”
“I was the one who broke up with Skylar,” he said. “I know I told you it was a mutual decision, but it really wasn’t. Being in college had opened up a whole new world for me, and I wanted to be able to date other girls.”
“Aiden…”
And there was the disappointment. Unfortunately, he hadn’t even gotten to the worst part yet.
“The summer before I started my sophomore year at college, I broke up with her,” he told her. “But then Skylar called me a couple of months later to tell me that she was pregnant.”
“What?” His mom’s eyes widened as she pressed a hand to her chest. “Skylar was pregnant?”
“That’s what she said, but I didn’t believe her.”
“Why wouldn’t you believe her?”
Aiden swallowed, then cleared his throat. “I thought she was just saying that to get us back together again.”
“She wasn’t that sort of girl,” his mom said. “I don’t think she’d ever have done that.”
He wanted to tell her that emotional teen girls could do crazy things. Just like emotional teen boys could. But instead, he just nodded.
“So, was she really pregnant?”
“Yes. She was.”
“What did you do?”
He sighed. “I didn’t find out that she was until a few days ago.”
“What did you say to her?” she asked. “Back when you thought she was faking it?”
His stomach felt sick as he lowered his gaze to the carpet. “I told her to get rid of it.”
“Aiden… no.” There was so much disappointment in her words that Aiden wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forget the sound of it.
“I didn’t think she was really pregnant.” Even as he gave voice to his reasoning at the time, he knew that his mom wasn’t going to buy it anymore than Skylar had.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, her disappointment having hardened into anger. “I didn’t raise my son to view life so flippantly.”
“I don’t view it flippantly.” That was true, especially now that he’d lost two loved ones. Life of any kind was worth fighting for. “At least not now.”
“I just can’t believe it,” she said with a shake of her head. “Why are you telling me all this?”
Glad to be moving away from that part of the story, he told her why Skylar had shown up out of the blue at his office.
“So you have a daughter… I have a granddaughter… and she has cancer?”
He nodded. “And she needs our help.”
“Well, of course we’ll help.”
Aiden had known that would be his mom’s response. She never turned down someone in need, so she would have agreed even if the girl hadn’t been related to them.
“Will we get to see her?”
“I don’t know,” Aiden said, relaxing back into the couch now that the worst part of their conversation was over. Or at least it was on the back burner for the moment. “I asked Skylar if I could meet her, and she initially said no.”
“Big surprise there,” his mom murmured as she picked her needlepoint up again and slid her glasses back into place on her nose.
“But she did agree to talk to the adoptive parents.”
“So she knows who they are?”
“If not her, her parents do, as her mom told her what was going on with the girl’s health.”
“Skylar didn’t tell you her name?”
“I asked. She said nope.”
“How does Skylar seem now?” his mom asked.
Aiden stared blankly at the darkened television, remembering how Skylar had been during her visit. “Not happy.”
“I suppose that’s not a surprise.”
“No, it’s not.”
There had been no glimpses of the woman he’d once loved.
His thoughts ground to a halt at that.
Had he really loved her?
Thinking back, Aiden wasn’t sure he had. At least not with the love he should have had for a woman he was dating and talking about a future with. Because if he’d truly loved her, he never would have hurt her the way he had.
“I hope you can have a good conversation about what happened,” his mom said. “Because you left things in a really bad way, I think.”
“We did,” Aiden agreed. “But I’m not sure she wants a conversation about it.”
He wasn’t sure that he really wanted to have another deeper conversation about it himself.
“You are sorry, though, right?” she asked, lowering her hoop once again.
Aiden wanted to be indignant in his response, but his mom had every right to ask, given how out of character she thought his actions had been. “I am.”
“Have you thought of her over the years?” she asked. “Have you wanted to make amends before now?”
“I’ve honestly tried not to think of her,” he said. It wasn’t a confession he liked to make, but it was true.
His mom focused on her embroidery hoop again. “I think you know that I’m disappointed in how you handled things.”
“Yeah. I know,” he said with a sigh. “I’m disappointed in how I handled things as well.”
“Why do you feel differently now?”
“Trauma and loss have a way of clarifying things.”
“That they do.” A sad smile crossed her face. “I wish your dad could have known he had another granddaughter.”
Aiden felt a matching sadness, but his was tinged with guilt and regret. If Aiden had behaved differently, his dad could have had another granddaughter to love like he had Willow.
He’d inflicted so much pain because of his selfishness that continued well past the time during and after the breakup. It was a reminder that decisions made could impact more than just the people involved at the time.
Like ripples in the water after a stone is dropped into it, he could see the ripples of his long ago decision impacting the present and the future.
“I hope she’s been with good adoptive parents,” his mom said. “Though I suppose the Halversons would make sure she was in a good family.”
Did his daughter even know that she was adopted? Would they tell her who her birth parents were?
They didn’t know who Willow’s father was. Bethany had never revealed his identity, and there had been nothing in her belongings to tell them who he might be. That void had left them with lots of questions, but at the same time, he didn’t think that he or his mom would have been happy to lose Willow to her father, especially if he was someone Bethany hadn’t wanted in her daughter’s life.
In the short time he’d been fully present in Willow’s life, Aiden had tried to be a father figure to her, in the absence of her own and in the loss of her grandfather.
By all accounts, his daughter had parents and grandparents, so they might not want him or his mom involved in her life. That would be a huge loss for them now that they knew of her existence, but he’d have no one but himself to blame.
Aiden let out a long sigh as he slumped down further into the couch. Though he wasn’t doing much physically, he was exhausted. The shock of finding out about his daughter was taking its toll on him.
“Did I ruin Skylar’s whole life, Momma?” The name he’d used for her as a child slipped out, letting Aiden—and probably his mom—know just how vulnerable he felt at that moment.
She lowered her hoop again and put her glasses on top of her head. The smile she gave him held an edge of sadness. “I don’t know if you ruined her whole life, but it’s true that you definitely had a negative impact on it. Only she can tell you how she truly feels, however.”
“She’s just so angry, so I feel like I ruined her life.”
“The way you broke up with her would no doubt have impacted her,” she said. “And I understand why she might be angry with you still.”
Aiden nodded. He understood as well, but he wished that there was something he could do to make it up to her. But perhaps he’d done too much damage to ever be able to make things right with Skylar.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“There might not be anything else you can do, other than apologize,” his mom said. “If you offer her a sincere apology, then that’s all you can do. You can’t force her to accept it.”
Aiden sighed. How he wished he could go back to his younger self and smack him upside the head in hopes of knocking some sense into him.
He also wished he could go back and make sure that his dad was in the ER when his heart attack happened. And he’d make sure that Bethany never got on that boat with her friends.
But there was no way to change the past. He could only use it as a lesson for moving forward.
“Just apologize, then treat her with respect from now on,” his mom said. “There’s nothing more you can do. Treat her the way you should have treated her back then.”
Aiden nodded, then sat forward. He’d had his moment of vulnerability, of weakness. Now it was time to focus on taking care of the people he loved and the people he’d wronged.
Getting to his feet, he said, “I think I’m going to go to the gym.”
“Alright, sweetheart.” She lowered her glasses back into place but peered at him over the top of them. “I’ll probably be going to bed soon, so I won’t be up when you get home. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He went to where she sat and brushed a kiss on her cheek. “Love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, Aiden,” she said. “Drive safe.”
“I will.”
Aiden went down to his apartment and packed up a bag for the gym, then headed out. Working out had always been a part of his daily routine, and he’d found it was a good time to mull over life and exhaust himself at the same time.
It was his hope that doing both would allow him to sleep when he crawled into bed later that night.
The next morning, he was at work when his phone let him know that a text had come in. When he glanced at it, he saw that Skylar was as good as her word. No call from her. Just a text.
Skylar: Dad said that they’ve set up testing at the clinic for five o’clock on Friday.
I spoke to Mom last night, and she is willing to be tested. Is Willow too young?
Skylar: Who is Willow? And how old is she?
Aiden realized that he hadn’t told her about Willow during their confrontations—he could hardly call them conversations.
She is Bethany’s daughter. She’s five years old.
Skylar: I’ll ask Mom and Dad about that and let you know.
Thanks. See you on Friday.
Although, it was possible that Skylar wouldn’t be present for the testing. She might choose to wait until he’d come and gone before showing up. He was kind of glad his mom and Willow were going to be there with him, since he hoped that would keep Skylar’s brothers from decking him.
A couple of hours later, he got another text from Skylar.
Skylar: Dad said that he wouldn’t recommend Willow be tested since she’s pretty young to give a donation for the transplant.
Okay. We’ll still have to bring her, however.
Skylar: That’s not a problem. There will probably be other kids there too.
Aiden knew he shouldn’t ask, but he couldn’t help himself. Will our daughter be there?
He almost dropped his phone when it rang. Seeing that Skylar was calling made him pause before tapping the screen to answer it.
Before he could say anything, she jumped right in. “First of all, she is not our daughter. You need to stop thinking of her like that. She’s the daughter of her adoptive parents.”
“So, how do you refer to her?”
“I don’t really refer to her at all,” Skylar said. “But when I do, she’s their daughter, not mine.”
“Do you see her much?”
“Usually once or twice a year.”
“Does she know who you are?”
“No.”
“And you don’t want her to?”
“Not really. I don’t think it will improve her life in any way.”
Aiden didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t going to argue with Skylar that she would add worth to their child’s life.
“So she won’t be there on Friday?”
“No. They recommend she not be around a lot of people right now. They don’t want her to get sick since that could impact her planned treatment.”
“That’s understandable.”
“And no, I haven’t asked about her meeting you yet, so you’ll just have to be patient.”
He knew there were more important things going on at the moment than him meeting his previously unknown daughter. “I understand why that’s necessary, though I’m not usually one for keeping secrets.”
“You’re not a secret to everyone,” Skylar said. “Just her. Everyone else now knows you’re her birth father.”
“They didn’t know that before?”
“Of course not. I wasn’t keen for Cole to find out and tell you. So I made my folks keep it a secret from everyone.”
“I guess I understand that.”
“How did your mom respond to the news?”
“A bit of a mixed bag,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“She was happy to hear that she has another granddaughter, but less happy with how everything ended between us.”
“You told her the truth?” Skylar sounded a bit skeptical, and he couldn’t blame her for that.
“Yes, I did.”
“Why would you do that? I mean, it doesn’t reflect well on you.”
“I felt it was important she know the truth.” He thought she might comment on that, but she remained silent. “Anyway, she expressed her displeasure and disappointment at how I treated you.”
“I bet that was hard to take,” Skylar said. “You always used to feel bad when you upset your mom.”
“I still do. Honestly, these days, I’d rather not upset anyone, if possible. Though I realize you probably have a hard time believing that.”
“A bit, yes.”
Though he wanted to mention his mom meeting her granddaughter, he decided that that conversation was best left for a later time.
“Your mom doesn’t live here in Serenity anymore?” Skylar asked.
“No, she and Willow are here in Coeur d’Alene with me, but she still has the house there. My dad left her financially secure, so she didn’t have to sell the house to move here. I have an apartment in the basement.”
“Nineteen-year-old you would have absolutely balked at the idea of living with your mom as a twenty-something man, especially in her basement.”
Aiden sighed. “Nineteen-year-old me was wrong about a lot of things.”
After a stretch of silence, Skylar said, “I probably should go.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll see you on Friday.” He was disappointed to end the conversation but didn’t press to continue it. It was enough that they’d talked for that long without any argument.
Once the conversation was over, Aiden tried to focus on his project. But it wasn’t until the other team members showed up for a meeting that he was truly able to put the situation with Skylar and their daughter to the side.
And though Skylar had rebuked him for it, until he knew her name and who her adoptive parents were, Aiden felt like he had no other way to think of the little girl than as his daughter.
But it was weird to think that he could pass her on the street and have no idea who she was. Willow could have played with her at her favorite fast-food restaurant, and they wouldn’t even have known who she was.
She was a total stranger.
Hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case for much longer.