Chapter 18
Leaving on a Jet Plane
“The last time I saw you on this shuttle, you were all sprawled out, and your legs were a tripping hazard. I couldn’t believe someone would actually sleep through that ride.” Lexi tried to keep her voice upbeat, but inside, she was withering. She touched the pendant again.
Josh shrugged, his mood sullen. “Didn’t see anything worth keeping my eyes open for.”
She smirked. “Are you going to fall asleep this time?”
His silver eyes bored into hers. “No. This time I’ve got one hell of a reason to keep them open.” He picked up her hand and kissed it tenderly. And there went yet another piece of her heart. When he was done with her, there would be nothing left.
They’d stayed up most of the night, taking and giving of each other’s bodies, sometimes with so much desperation and heat she thought they might combust and other times so slowly and with such intimate tenderness she had to fight back tears.
Lexi hadn’t uttered any more I-love-yous, though they quivered on her tongue.
If she had let them tumble out, the pain would have been too sharp.
If Josh had been thinking them, he hadn’t shared his either.
This morning as they’d eaten their last breakfast on the lanai, he’d announced that he’d decided to accept the offer from the KHL. He only had to tell his agent and sign on the dotted line, and it would be official. For three long years.
“How soon do you need to be over there?” she’d asked as they held each other in the shower, clinging to one another as if they’d been afraid to let go. His best friend, Mac, lived in Denver. Maybe Josh would visit him, and Lexi could get more time with him before he crossed the Atlantic for good.
“Right away,” he’d groused. “They want to put me to work with their trainers ASAP.”
Her hopes had sunk as though they’d been tied to a boulder and thrown overboard.
It was awkward, this ride to the airport, with echoes of that first day when she hadn’t known how to act around him.
Though Josh’s plane left two hours after hers, he’d insisted on going with her.
“We’re leaving out of the same terminal,” he’d pointed out.
“I’ll stay with you and see you off.” It didn’t help that Neil sat behind them and tried to kindle conversation throughout the ride.
The only good thing about flying back to Colorado was that she wouldn’t ever have to see Neil’s face again.
They didn’t escape him until they exited the shuttle at their terminal.
Josh was traveling first-class and had TSA PreCheck privileges, but he went through security with her, taking off his shoes and pulling everything out of his pockets and his carry-on, all without uttering a complaint.
Conrad and she had traveled that way once, and he’d breezed through the PreCheck line and left her behind to catch up with him at the gate.
So many stark contrasts between two men.
Why hadn’t she met Josh three years ago?
They sat huddled together in her gate area. Josh’s arm rested behind her, his hand toying with her hair. Lexi startled when she heard the gate agent call her name. “I wonder what that’s about?”
“Only one way to find out,” Josh said.
At the counter, the agent smiled and told her she’d been upgraded to first class. Lexi shook her head in confusion. “What? How?”
“It seems someone paid to upgrade you. Here’s your new boarding pass, in case it doesn’t update in the app in time. You’ll be boarding in fifteen minutes.”
What?
Dumbfounded, she glanced at the coupon. Confirmed her name was on it, and that it was the same flight on the same day. She was still inspecting the pass as she ambled back toward Josh.
His arm immediately went around her when she plopped down beside him. “What is it, babe?”
“Someone upgraded me to first class, but that makes no sense. Who would—” She turned and gaped at him. “Did you do this?”
His mouth did this weird pursing thing that gave him away.
“You did, didn’t you? Why?”
“I hated the idea of you stuck in a middle seat.” He shrugged. “And it was an easy thing for me to do for you.”
She’d gone for the cheapest of the cheap, which had indeed landed her in the dreaded middle seat. “But—”
He placed his index finger on her lips. “Don’t argue. Just say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Smartass.’”
“But the money … I’ll pay you back.”
“No, you won’t. Money is not a problem for me, Lexi. But I am running out of chances to do nice things for you, so let me have this. Please?”
The final piece of her heart disintegrated.
She hugged his neck and kissed him on the mouth. “Thank you, you wonderful man,” she whispered. Tears that had been hovering behind her eyes all morning broke free and spilled down her cheeks.
He rested his forehead against hers. “I wish I could do more for you.” He swiped her tears away with his thumbs and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
They sat staring into each other’s eyes for long minutes, until the gate agent announced zone one was boarding.
Josh pecked her lips. “That’s you, baby. Time to go.”
“Oh.” She’d never been in zone one before, and she wasn’t ready—not ready to board, not ready to leave Josh. “Do I have to board now?”
“No, you can wait until they’ve called the last zone.”
She did, dragging out the agony of good-bye but savoring his cedar scent, the feel of his strong body beneath her hands, his taste when he kissed her. These needed to last her.
Finally, the gate agent called the last zone; the boarding area was nearly empty.
“Now you do have to go, sweetheart, or you’ll slow down the departure and piss everyone off.” His humor fell flat. He gave her a wistful half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, the light in them seemed to extinguish.
He cradled her face in his hands, and she covered them with her own. “Lexi, would you …”
She pulled in a breath, waiting for the rest of it.
He shook his head. “What I meant to say was I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Their mouths crashed together just as the gate agent made the final call.
As the plane pulled away from the gate, Lexi got one last look at Josh standing at the window watching her go. He held up his hand.
She placed her own on the window and whispered, “Good-bye, Josh.”
“Mac, I need a favor from you.”
Josh paced the concourse, waiting for his flight.
He had called his best friend and former teammate, Mac McPherson, who now backstopped for the Colorado Blizzard.
Now that they were done with the obligatory chatter and catching up, Josh filled him in on the offer he’d received from the KHL and got down to the real reason for his call.
Yeah, he was always glad to talk to Mac, though maybe a little too distracted to give his friend’s news his full attention this time.
“Sure, Wild Man. Whatever you need.”
Josh gritted his teeth at the worn nickname. “There’s this girl—her name is Lexi Campbell. She lives in Denver, and I want you to keep an eye on her for me.”
“Whoa, whoa! Don’t tell me the Wild Man’s wings have finally been clipped.”
“Look, asshole, I’m just worried about her.
” Josh couldn’t pinpoint exactly why he was worried.
Lexi was a grown, independent woman who could take care of herself.
Maybe his worry had more to do with losing her to someone else smart enough to recognize how special she was.
If she hadn’t wasted her time on that idiot fiancé of hers, some other guy would have snapped her up long ago. She would not stay single for long.
“Sure, sure. You’re worried about her. I get it.”
Josh was sure he could hear Mac whispering to his fiancée, Mia, that “Wild Man” had finally been tamed, and Josh wanted to reach through the phone and wipe the smug from Mac’s voice.
Truth be told, Josh wasn’t sure what Lexi was to him.
While they’d waited at her gate, he’d nearly asked her to move to Russia with him, for Christ’s sake!
It would have been an outrageous proposition—three years of her life for a maybe-washed-up goalie with no clue where he was headed.
Who did that after only one week? Sure, he’d gotten to know her well, but a week wasn’t nearly enough time to build the kind of foundation that made a sacrifice like that reasonable.
He’d never even considered asking a woman to move in with him—let alone halfway across the world.
Then again, there were a lot of things he’d never done—or thought of doing—before Lexi. What made her so different?
Because you fell in love with her, dumbass. You know it, and Mac knows it because he’s been there.
“How exactly should I ‘look after her’?” Mac asked. Logically.
“I’ll give her your info and tell her she can reach out to you anytime.
That okay?” It would give Josh a legitimate excuse to contact her one last time before he left for Russia.
And once again, his rebel of a brain detoured.
What if he asked her to wait for him to finish out his contract?
He could fly home every once in a while to see her, and when he was done, they could start their life together.
He’d be thirty-five, and she’d be thirty-two. Still plenty of time to start a family.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
“Yeah, go ahead and text it to me. Mia says to pass on her contact info too, in case it’s easier to reach out to another woman.”
Josh pushed out a relieved breath. “Thanks, man.”
“So you going to give me any particulars?”
“Hell no!”
“I mean about how you met her, dickbrain. I don’t need the gory details.” His friend chuckled. “Man, you do have it bad for this chick. I can’t wait to meet her.” Mac’s cheerfulness grated on Josh’s frayed nerve endings.
His phone alerted him to an incoming call, and he checked caller ID. “Hey, Mac. I gotta go. My agent’s calling.”
“Talk later, buddy.”
Josh switched calls. “Hey, Herb. Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you with that answer yet.” Josh had made up his mind but had been so focused on his last hours with Lexi that he hadn’t given Herb the go-ahead yet.
“We got another offer, buttercup.”
Stunned, Josh fell back into an empty seat. “From who?”
“The Arizona Dunehawks.”
Josh’s mind immediately leaped to the short flight between Phoenix and Denver.
That kind of long distance might work. The Dunehawks were a newer franchise, a team that hadn’t made the playoffs yet, but they were brimming with young talent, and their record had improved year over year.
Wait. They had a phenom in net already. Were they trading him?
“I’m listening.”
“They’re looking for a veteran backup to mentor their youngster.”
Shit. “That’s a non-starter, Herb. I have no interest in riding the pine behind a number one. You know that.”
“Remember when McPherson’s wife died and he had to leave the game?” Herb droned. “You won the starting job from him.”
“Yeah, but that was different.”
“Was it? Life happens. This kid could be a flash in the pan.” Herb ticked off names of rookie goalies who had started with a bang and flamed out their sophomore year. “What if this kid gets injured or chokes? Their steady veteran backup becomes the starter.”
So his choice hovered between being a starter in Russia or a backup hoping for a disaster that would slide him into first position?
Josh ground his back molars. “No. I’m not doing it.” There were too many ifs in this scenario, and Josh didn’t have that luxury at this stage of his career. “You can call them back and tell them, ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’”
Fuck.
Hello, Russia.
“Honey, you look all tuckered out. Did you have fun?” Josh’s mother side-eyed him from the driver’s seat. She’d insisted on picking him up, and he hadn’t been able to wriggle out of it. Right now all he wanted to do was climb into bed, pull a pillow over his head, and wallow.
“Yeah, Mom. I had a good time.” His tone was anything but convincing.
“I see you’re not wearing the shirt I gave you.”
Shit. “I wore it while I was there.” Truth. “But someone spilled beer on it, so it’s packed with my dirty clothes.” Untruth, but he was too tired and too bereft to think up a more creative excuse.
His mother’s voice slid into sly territory. “Did it do the trick?”
“Trick?”
“Did it draw in the ladies?” Her voice was heartbreakingly hopeful.
From the back seat, his brother whacked him on the shoulder.
Yeah, he’d come along too, though Josh couldn’t figure out why.
Nothing better to do than fuck with Josh, apparently.
“This boy doesn’t need any fancy shirts for that, do you, bro?
He’s the honey, and they buzz around him like flies and wasps. And cockroaches.”
Their mother glared at Brad in the rearview mirror. “Ew! That sounds disgusting.”
If only those two would carry on their own absurd conversation, but Josh wasn’t that lucky today.
“So did you meet someone, Josh?” Mom prodded.
“Why does it matter to you so much?” He was trying not to be annoyed with her, he really was.
Somewhere in his exhausted brain he understood that lashing out at her would not only be wrong, but it would be misdirected.
His pain came from a completely different place, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“I’d like to be a grandmother before I’m eighty.”
Brad threw up his hands. “Don’t look at me.”
“You’ll notice I’m not,” she deadpanned.
“See there, bro? Stay single,” Brad chirped. “You don’t need some chick pulling you down like an anchor around your neck and drowning your sorry ass.” The bitter undertone in his words was unmistakable. “Welcome back to the real world, by the way.”
The real world sucks.
“Bradley, please! Josh and I are having a serious discussion.”
Were they, though? Took two to discuss, and Josh was an unwilling participant.
He wasn’t mentally prepared to tell her about his decision because she was going to freak, and he sure as hell didn’t want to talk about Lexi because he might freak.
In the end, he caved and went tourist brochure on her, describing the beauty of the beaches, the sparkling waters, and the weather. “You’d like it there, Mom.”
“Maybe you’ll take me someday.”
No, he didn’t want to return to Destiny. There would be too many reminders of Lexi around every corner, and his heart simply wouldn’t hold up.