Chapter Five #3
She gasped sharply, and her hands flew to my shoulders, her fingers gripping me tightly as her nails dug into my skin with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the heat radiating from her body, the way she trembled beneath my touch.
“God,” I breathed, my voice rough and unsteady. “God, you feel so good. So perfect.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them, raw and honest. Every nerve in my body was alive, electric, attuned to every subtle movement, every soft sound she made. This moment felt like everything.
I pushed deeper, my hips pressing forward past a thin barrier until I was fully seated inside her, and I had to stop, had to just feel for a moment because it was too much.
The sensation of being inside her, of being connected to her like this, was overwhelming.
It felt like coming home. Like everything I had lost and found again all at once.
I dropped my forehead to hers, as our breath mingled in the small space between us, warm and unsteady, and I could feel her heart racing against my chest. Or maybe it was my heart.
I couldn’t tell anymore. We were too close, too tangled together, too one for me to know where I ended and she began.
Her fingers curled around my neck, holding on as if she were afraid I might disappear if she let go, and God, I understood that feeling completely.
“I’ve missed this,” I whispered against her lips, my voice rough and broken.
“I’ve missed you. So much. Every day. Every fucking second.
” My thumb traced the curve of her jaw, memorizing the feel of her skin beneath my touch, the way she leaned into my hand like she had been starving for it.
“You have no idea how empty everything felt without you. How colorless. How quiet.” I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, searching for some sign that she felt it too.
This desperate, aching need that had been eating me alive since the moment I lost her.
I started to move. Slow, deliberate strokes that made her gasp and arch beneath me. I wanted to savor this. Wanted to make it last. Wanted to prove to her that I could be the man she needed me to be.
My hands roamed her body as I moved inside her, sliding over her ribs, cupping her breasts, tracing the curve of her hip. I kissed her neck, her collarbone, the hollow of her throat, tasting the salt of her skin and the faint sweetness that was uniquely her.
“I love you,” I whispered against her skin. “I love you so much. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough.”
She arched beneath me, her spine curving in a perfect bow, her hands gripping my shoulders with desperate intensity, her breath coming in soft, broken gasps that filled the space between us.
I could feel every subtle shift of her body responding to mine.
The way she tightened around me with each deliberate movement, the way her hips lifted instinctively to meet my thrusts, the way her nails dug into my skin like she was trying to hold on, to anchor herself to this moment, to me.
I worshipped her with everything I had.
Every thrust was a prayer, reverent and deliberate.
Every kiss was a promise sealed against her lips, her neck, her collarbone.
Every whispered word was a sacred vow I would never break again, not after everything we had been through, not after nearly losing her.
I poured all of it into her. My devotion, my need, my absolute certainty that she was mine and I was hers, completely and irrevocably.
I slid one hand between us, finding her clit at the apex of her thighs, and I rubbed slow circles there as I moved inside her. She cried out, and her body jerked beneath me as I felt her tighten around my cock like a vise.
“That’s it,” I breathed. “God, that’s it. Let me feel you. Let me make you feel good.”
I increased the pressure, my fingers working her clit as I thrust deeper, harder, my control slipping with every stroke.
She was so wet, so fucking tight, so fucking perfect, and I could feel myself getting close.
That familiar tightening in my balls, the heat building at the base of my spine.
But I needed her to come first. Needed to feel her fall apart around me.
Needed to know I could still do this. Still make her feel good, still give her pleasure, still be enough.
“Come for me,” I whispered against her ear. “Please, baby. I need to feel you.”
She arched beneath me, her body going taut, and then she was crying out.
A soft, broken sound that went straight to my cock.
I felt her cunt tighten around me, felt her body pulse and clench, and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever felt.
I buried my face in her neck and let go, my hips jerking as I poured everything I had into her.
All my love, all my pain, all my desperate, aching need.
I came so hard I saw stars, as my body shook with the force of it, and I held her tight against me, afraid she would disappear if I let go.
When the last drop of cum seeped from my dick, I collapsed beside her on the grass, pulled her into my arms, and held her close.
My heart was racing, pounding against my ribs like it was trying to break free.
My breath was coming in ragged gasps, and I could feel the cool night air on my sweat-slicked skin, raising goosebumps along my arms and chest. But I didn’t care about any of that.
She was here. She was real. She was mine.
The stars shone down on us like a thousand watchful eyes as the moon cast silver light across her face, illuminating the gentle curve of her cheek, the soft part of her lips, the way her eyelashes rested against her skin.
She was beautiful. She was here. She was mine.
Nothing else in the world mattered in that moment.
I kissed her forehead tenderly and closed my eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion and whiskey pulling me under like a tide I couldn’t fight. My limbs felt heavy; my thoughts grew fuzzy and distant.
“I love you, Julie,” I whispered into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo mixed with grass and night air.
And then the darkness took me, swallowing me whole into a deep, dreamless sleep.