Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Xavier
I wake with a start, disoriented in the darkness. For a moment, I can’t remember where I am or what happened. Then it all crashes back: the shooting, the blood, the sound of gunfire echoing through hospital corridors.
My heart races, sweat cooling on my skin as I blink into the darkness. But something’s different. I’m not alone. A warm weight anchors me to the bed, a strong arm draped across my waist.
Zach.
The memories shift, soften. After the hospital, after the police interviews, he’d brought me home on his bike.
I’d taken a long, scalding shower that couldn’t quite wash away the day while he ordered food neither of us had much appetite for.
We’d talked, haltingly at first, then with growing honesty about what happened. About what might come next.
And then, exhaustion had claimed me mid-sentence, the adrenaline crash hitting like a physical blow. I vaguely remember Zach guiding me to bed, whispering that he’d take the couch.
Yet here he is, solid and warm beside me. Still fully clothed, lying on top of the covers while I’m beneath them. Keeping watch, even in sleep.
I turn carefully to look at him. In the faint glow from the streetlight filtering through my blinds, his face is softer, younger.
His hair has come loose from its tie, dark strands falling across his forehead.
The dangerous man who fired with deadly accuracy just hours ago now breathes deeply beside me, one hand still protectively spanning my waist.
As if sensing my scrutiny, his breathing changes. His eyes open, immediately alert in a way that speaks of years of light sleep and constant vigilance.
“You okay?” he asks, voice rough with sleep.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “Just… processing.”
He shifts slightly, propping himself on one elbow to look down at me. “Nightmare?”
I shake my head. “Just woke up. I thought you were taking the couch.”
A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “I was. Heard you making noises in your sleep. Came to check on you and…” He shrugs, a barely visible movement in the darkness. “Couldn’t make myself leave.”
Something warm unfurls in my chest at the simple admission. I reach up, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. The intimacy of the gesture in the quiet darkness feels significant, like crossing a threshold.
“I’m glad you stayed,” I admit.
His eyes search mine, looking for doubt or hesitation he won’t find. His hand at my waist tightens slightly, a gentle pressure that grounds me in the moment.
“What happens now?” I ask, the question encompassing far more than just this night.
“Now,” he says softly, “you try to get some more sleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.”
“And after tomorrow?”
His gaze never wavers. “That’s up to you, X. What happened today, that was my world crashing into yours in the worst possible way. I wouldn’t blame you if you decided it’s not something you want to be part of.”
I consider his words, turning them over in my mind. The violence, the danger, the ever-present threat that seems to surround the club. By any rational measure, I should be terrified, should be asking him to leave and never come back.
Instead, I find myself reaching for him, my hand settling against his chest where I can feel his heartbeat strong and steady beneath my palm.
“I’ve spent my whole life playing it safe,” I say, surprising myself with the certainty in my voice.
“Making the responsible choice. Following the path laid out for me.” I take a deep breath, feeling something shift inside me.
“But today showed me something. Life can change or end in an instant, no matter how carefully you plan.”
He remains silent, waiting for me to continue, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I don’t want safety if it means being alone,” I admit. “I don’t want to wonder what might have been with you.”
His breath catches, a barely audible hitch that betrays his composure. “You sure about that?” His voice is tight, controlled. “Because once we start this—really start this—I won’t be able to let you go easily.”
The raw honesty in his words sends a shiver through me that has nothing to do with fear. “I’m sure.”
Something changes in his expression, a softening, a surrender.
He leans down slowly, giving me time to retreat if I want to.
I don’t. His lips brush mine, gentle at first, then with growing intensity as I respond.
Unlike our previous kisses, this one isn’t rushed or desperate.
It’s a promise, an exploration, something with roots that go deeper than physical attraction.
When we break apart, both breathing harder, he rests his forehead against mine. “We should try to sleep,” he tells me, though his body tells a different story. “You’ve had a hell of a day.”
I nod, knowing he’s right but reluctant to end this moment. He shifts, making to move away, but I catch his wrist. “Stay,” I say. “Under the covers this time.”
He studies me for a long moment, then nods. I lift the blanket in invitation, and he stands to remove his jeans and shirt, leaving him in boxers and a thin undershirt. The mattress dips as he slides in beside me, his body radiating warmth as he settles on his side facing me.
There’s a moment of awkwardness, both of us hyperaware of the other’s presence in the narrow bed.
Then I turn onto my side, my back to his chest, and his arm comes around me naturally, pulling me against him.
We fit together perfectly, his knees tucking behind mine, his breath warm against the nape of my neck.
“This okay?” he asks, his voice a low rumble I feel as much as hear.
“Perfect,” I reply, already feeling sleep tugging at me again, the safety of his presence chasing away the lingering shadows of the day.
His lips press briefly against my shoulder, a casual intimacy that feels both new and somehow familiar. “Sleep, X. I’ve got you.”
As I drift off, I realize something profound. For years, I’ve been the one watching over other patients, family, friends. Always the caretaker, the one who fixes what’s broken. But here, now, I’m allowing myself to be protected. To be held.
And it feels like coming home.
* * *
Morning arrives with gentle persistence, sunlight filtering through my blinds in narrow strips that warm my face. For a moment, I hover in that space between sleep and wakefulness, aware only of comfort and an unusual sense of security.
Then I register the weight of an arm around my waist, the solid warmth of a body pressed against my back.
Zach. The events of yesterday come rushing back, not as a nightmare this time but as a series of vivid images.
The hospital. The shooting. The blood. And afterward, Zach’s gentleness as he washed away the last traces of violence from my skin.
I open my eyes fully, careful not to move and wake him.
Somehow during the night, we’ve shifted.
My head now rests on his chest, his arm curved protectively around me, holding me close even in sleep.
His other hand lies palm-up on the pillow, fingers slightly curled.
In this light, I can see scars I didn’t notice before.
Thin white lines across his knuckles and a deeper mark that disappears beneath the sleeve of his undershirt.
Evidence of a life lived dangerously, of battles fought long before yesterday’s.
His breathing changes subtly, and I know he’s awake, probably has been since the moment I stirred. He’s allowing me this moment of observation, this quiet intimacy.
“Morning,” I murmur, not moving from my position against his chest.
His fingers trace idle patterns on my back, the touch light through the fabric of my t-shirt. “Morning,” he replies, voice rough with sleep. “How are you feeling?”
It’s a loaded question after yesterday. I consider it seriously before answering.
“Better than I have any right to,” I admit. “Considering.”
His hand stills momentarily on my back, then resumes its gentle movement. “Delayed shock is a thing. Don’t be surprised if it hits you later.”
I nod against his chest, knowing he’s right. I’ve seen it often enough in the ER. Patients who walk in calmly after horrific accidents, only to collapse hours later when the adrenaline finally drains away.
“I need to call my mom,” I say, remembering my promise to my father. “She’s probably worried sick.”
“Probably,” he agrees. His hand moves to my hair, fingers threading through the strands with a tenderness that makes my chest ache. “You hungry? I could make coffee while you call her.”
The normality of the offer is so domestic, so ordinary after the extraordinary events of yesterday, that it makes me smile against his chest. “That would be great.”
Neither of us moves immediately, reluctant to break this bubble of peace.
Finally, I push myself up, looking down at him properly for the first time this morning.
His hair is tousled from sleep, his expression softer than I’ve ever seen it.
The dangerous enforcer of yesterday is hidden beneath layers of warmth that I suspect few people get to see.
“What?” he asks, noting my scrutiny.
“Just…” I shake my head slightly, not sure how to articulate what I’m feeling. “This. Us. It’s not what I expected.”
A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “What did you expect?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “But not this… ease.”
He reaches up, brushing his knuckles gently against my cheek. The gesture is achingly tender. “It surprised me too,” he confesses quietly.
The admission feels significant, a vulnerability from a man who shows so little of it to the world. I turn my face slightly, pressing a kiss to his palm. His eyes darken at the contact, pupils expanding until only a thin ring of brown remains.
“Coffee,” he reminds himself, voice rougher now. “And your mom.”