Chapter 16
sixteen
. . .
First thing I did was throw my coffee cup at Hazen. In the split-second of distraction, I jumped on Wat, knocking us both onto the couch. I wrapped my legs around him and waved the handkerchief around.
“Hazen, now is not the time to do this. Wat, chill out or you’re going back to that special school on the next plane.
Lock, stand up and stop looking guilty. No, you shouldn’t have almost killed me, but these things happen.
You’re still my son, and I still love you.
Now, can we all talk about how we’re going to take down the zombie queen once and for all?
It would be ideal if we got her in a situation where she was forced to remove the marking, so I didn’t have to bathe so much, but I realize that may not be possible.
So, what is possible? I have no idea. I need illumination. Hazen, can you give me that?”
Hazen was staring at the coffee cup in his hand, like he hadn’t heard me. “We’re all monsters,” he finally answered. “What difference does it make if we’re zombies or vampires?”
I exhaled heavily. That sounded an awful lot like self-pity.
“Really? You lied to me throughout our whole marriage. You’re definitely a monster, but you can learn to be honest, and I can try to understand you.
We’re definitely going to marriage counseling after all of this.
I mean, if your Grand Royal Master deigns to do that kind of crap with a humble exterminator.
” I scowled at him. He could have been less of a complete jerk as the Grand Master, unless he couldn’t have.
He raised his head slowly, and his face melted into something between the harsh lines of the Grand Master I knew and the more human Hazen, only so very pale, and with such very dark eyes. “You are willing to consider being married to a monster?”
Dang, he was freaky. He didn’t look like the Hazen I knew, but he was, and if he was also something else that I didn’t know, well, I wouldn’t know until I knew whether he was someone I wanted to live with, but I wouldn’t know until I tried. If that even made sense.
“Yes. I love you. I love our children. I want to try, although I have no idea what that looks like. I’m not staying in an abusive relationship, and if you mess with my mind, Wat will let me know, and then I’ll probably stake you somewhere tender and then leave you. But trying is a good place to start.”
“You shouldn’t trust him,” Wat said, scowling terrifically with that really creepy red stare.
I sighed heavily. I would have to get used to monster children, too. “What do you think that he’s going to do to me?”
“Turn you into a vampire.” He was so matter-of-fact. “That’s what he’s been doing. Letting you drink his blood? Drinking yours? He wants to turn you gradually, so you’re less likely to die, but it is what he wants.”
“I do too,” Lock said, suddenly. “If you were a vampire, I wouldn’t want to drink your blood. You wouldn’t be so hard to kill. You’d stop getting older. What are the drawbacks? I can’t think of a single one.”
“I’m not going to turn your mother,” Hazen said, still staring at me, like he was trying to bore a hole through my brain, or like I was the most important thing in the universe and he was incapable of looking away.
Both options were super uncomfortable. “Lucy, I won’t turn you unless you ask me to.
I promise. Wat, I swear. I did adapt her memories so that she forgot about Lock.
That did change her, not the memories as much as the attack.
It hurt part of her soul to have one she loved rip her apart.
I wasn’t aware that he was my birth son until he called me to tell me that he’d killed her.
” His voice cracked. I’d never heard his voice crack before.
He blinked, one very intentional blink that looked brighter, maybe watery, maybe bloody, I don’t know.
“No vampire has ever had children before. It shouldn’t be possible, but it is, and I love you.
I will always love you. I won’t ever stop, because I’ll live forever. ” He made it sound so epically sad.
“Don’t believe him,” Wat said, scowling at Hazen, then Lock, then me. “I mean, about the living forever part, you can believe that, but not the other stuff.”
I took a shaky breath. The way Hazen was looking at me was so raw and honest, so full of pain.
I turned to Wat. “Why did Hazen marry me in the first place?” I couldn’t exactly trust Hazen after fifteen years of lies, particularly when I wanted to.
Of course I wanted to. No one wants to wake up to the reality that the man they married and absolutely loved was nothing more than a monster.
He shrugged. “How should I know?”
“Can’t you read his mind?”
“No, I can just control it. Lock can read minds. I can make people think things. I guess I can read when I’m controlling, but it’s not passive, not like dad and Lock.”
“Okay. That sounds like a really useful thing to have in our defeat the zombie queen tool kit. This is a good start. What else do we have? Any ideas?” I sounded like one of those hyper moms at the PTA meeting, or the last time we’d planned a family vacation, brainstorming destinations and activities.
I’d been so good at that. I let go of Wat and sat up, smoothing down my robe and trying not to notice the way vampire Hazen was still staring at me.
I liked it better when he blinked, but he wasn’t trying to be human.
Soundlessly, he sank down on the couch next to me, not touching, but still closer than I was sure I was ready to be. “You want to talk strategy? You smell of werewolf. Were you really outside chatting with Joe?”
“That’s right. He brought me a really good pumpkin spice decaf latte.
He’s been monitoring our calls, you know, like the glass guys that I killed with your golf club.
Now I feel bad about it, but at the time, I thought they were trying to kill me.
Why would they want to kidnap me if they’re your allies?
Is his name really Joe? Never mind. Let’s stick to the important topics.
He said she was coming with nightfall. Where will she come? How can we fight her off?”
“I’m not fighting with you,” Wat said, glaring at his father from my other side. When I say he glared, I could feel the psychic push of his rage, see the air shimmer with heat, and feel that heat against my cheeks.
Hazen looked past me to frown at Wat. “If you don’t calm down, I’ll have to remove your mother so that you don’t damage her.”
Wat’s glare immediately eased, and he frowned down at his hands instead.
I took his hand and squeezed it. “It’s okay, Wat. If you don’t want to fight the zombie queen, that’s fine. In fact, I’d prefer you didn’t. I have no idea what kind of battle it will be, but I want you to stay safe above all things.”
He looked up at me, still frowning, but more concerned. “You can’t fight her. What if you die, or if she turns you?”
I rubbed my arm and shrugged. “It’s worth the chance to get her to remove the marking and maybe convince her to leave humans alone.”
He shook his head. “No. You shouldn’t stay here. Dad has so many enemies. Everyone who hates him will try to kill you, or worse, kidnap you and torture you. I can’t believe that you talked to werewolves.”
“I can’t believe she killed them,” Lock said, looking confused and slightly impressed.
Wat continued, “There are werewolves, witches, and all kinds of monsters you do not want to know about. I’ve been learning all about them at our new school.
The world is a mess. Dad is the last person in the world you should be with.
” His voice was persuasive, sweet, concerned, and there was only a hint of red in his eyes.
I put my hands over those eyes. “We aren’t dealing with that right now.
We are focusing on defeating the zombie queen.
Your father may be a vampire liar jerk, but he is your father, and you are an amazing person.
Both of my boys are. Part of that is because of your father, his genetics, and his upbringing.
I mean, you shouldn’t have lit that boy on fire, but—”
He pushed my hand down. “It wasn’t real fire. I just made him think he was on fire. I wouldn’t play with fire in a packed auditorium where it could spread and do more damage than I intended. Obviously. I’m not an idiot.”
I stared at him. “Right. Psychological fire, not actual fire. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.
Anyway, Hazen has always tried to be a good father and husband, even if he lied about everything and stole my memories, so I don’t know exactly what he did to me. Hazen,” I said, turning to face him.
He was staring at me. He looked so strange, like the Grand Master and human Hazen’s mother had an emo love child together.
He was so pale, his eyes so dark. His mouth was the same as it had always been, though.
Would he taste the same? Feel the same? Did I want to find out?
If he’d been looking like human Hazen for fifteen years, he could probably go on like that indefinitely, but it wasn’t who he really was.
I didn’t marry him for how he looked, but for who he was, how much he knew about the constellations, but he was so much more than that.
“He can hear your thoughts,” Wat said.
I jumped a little bit and frowned at Hazen. “Can you hear my thoughts?”
He kept staring at me. “Sometimes. I don’t notice a lot of your thoughts if you’re very emotional. I feel the anger too much to be able to sparse particulars, but when you’re thinking about me, it’s difficult to not hear it.”