Chapter Three
Sledge
Three days. That’s how long it took for the new nanny to get under my skin.
Ms. Moreno, no, Eliana, hummed while she did everything.
She cooked and cleaned while humming. Organized Zoya’s crayons and colored pencils by shade while humming.
I swear the damn woman lived in her own little world where the soundtrack was a soft, low hum, a tune that was slightly familiar, but I couldn’t put a name to it for the fucking life of me.
It was endearing, sure, but mostly it was annoying as fuck. And worse, I couldn’t stop noticing it.
Last night I’d given her a key so she didn’t have to wait on the porch, still humming, while I rushed to put on pants before answering the door.
The heat in her gaze when she took in my chest and my abs, the way her eyes darted over the details found in the depths of my tattoos, was exactly the last fucking thing I needed.
So yeah, I gave her a key and told her to use it, the implicit agreement was that she wouldn’t bother me.
Without worrying about the nanny, I stopped in front of Zoya’s open door and smiled. The blankets were kicked to the foot of the bed, and one arm covered her face. She was awake but she didn’t want to be. “You awake, Zoya?”
Her arm fell from her face and she nodded as she sat up. “Yes, Daddy.”
Nothing in the whole fucking world sounded sweeter than those rare occasions when Zoya gave me her voice.
It was soft and melodic, as if every syllable was a second away from a song.
Following Eliana’s lead, I nodded instead of making a big deal out of it.
“Okay, good. Wanna pick out something to wear or do you want me to do it?” Not that I knew shit about picking out little girl’s clothes, but she had a closet full of options.
Zoya tilted her head, weighing her options. “Me,” she said in a small voice that was barely louder than a whisper.
“Good call.” I stood and watched as she shuffled from bed to her dresser and then her closet until she had assembled a full outfit and held it up for my silent inspection.
I bit back a smile at her choice of an outfit that was eerily similar to mine, jeans and a black t-shirt.
The only difference was that my shirt didn’t have a unicorn shitting a rainbow on the front. “Perfect,” I assured her with a grin.
Her eyes were still wary, but her lips pulled into a smile at my approval.
“Let’s wash your face and brush your teeth, and then we can get dressed and get some breakfast, yeah?”
She nodded and brushed past me, walking right into the bathroom across the hall.
Other than choosing not to speak, she was fully capable of taking care of herself, most of the time without being asked.
The request was more for me than for her.
I listened to her movements, trying like hell to ignore the humming that somehow seemed to drift down the hall and right into my ears.
Ten minutes later, Zoya was dressed and reaching for my hand, a move that never failed to make my cold, cynical heart feel something.
Once I left the SEALs and lost so many good men, I left that part of myself behind.
I took to civilian life with the belief that love was a weakness, that caring for people was a liability that would get you killed, but I always forgot that lesson when it came to my little girl.
The minute she spotted Eliana sitting in the kitchen, Zoya dropped my hand and rushed to her, tugging on the bright yellow sweater with orange flowers all over it.
She looked like sunshine in human form. Eliana never stopped what she was doing as she looked down at Zoya with a genuine, bright smile. “Good morning, Zoya.”
In response, my daughter smiled and waved.
It wasn’t talking but it was open communication, which I guessed was a win.
“Hey Sledge,” she offered in a far more subdued tone though her smile was so bright it went straight up to her eyes.
“Mornin’,” I grunted in response.
She laughed in response before turning back to Zoya. “I hope you brought your appetite because I have a treat for you.”
Zoya’s mouth opened but no words came out.
“Yep, I know,” Eliana nodded. “Who doesn’t love a surprise?” The way she answered as if Zoya had actually said something was impressive, and it took the pressure off. “Go on and hop up in a chair and I’ll bring it to you.”
Zoya did as she was told, taking a sip of apple juice when she was settled, Hoppy clutched under one arm. She waited patiently, her eyes fixed on the table.
Eliana returned and placed a bowl in front of Zoya.
I peeked into the bowl and frowned. “What the hell is that?”
“Breakfast.” Her tone was calm, almost casual, which did nothing to ease the irritation crawling up my spine.
I snorted. “That looks like something crawled out of a health magazine and died.”
She shot me a look, one brow lifting. “It’s a smoothie bowl.”
Zoya stared at it like it might explode.
I leaned back against the counter, folding my arms. “She usually has Frosty Puffs,” I shrugged. “Or Unicorn Swirls. She likes the ones with the little pink, purple, and blue marshmallows.”
Eliana’s mouth twitched, like she was fighting a smile. “Unicorn Swirls,” she repeated. “Of course she does.”
“What?” I bristled automatically. “It’s cereal. Kids eat cereal.”
“They do, and if it gets her to eat in the morning, I get why you go with it. But it’s mostly sugar, there’s little nutritional value.”
That… took some of the wind out of me. My daughter loved her Unicorn Swirls cereal. Sure, Eliana’s smoothie bowl was colorful, but was that fucking bits of fruit I saw? I tried to get Zoya to eat fruit on the regular, but other than bananas or the occasional slice of apple, she hated it.
“She’s picky,” I muttered defensively. “Has been for years. I figured something she actually wants is better than fighting her every damn meal.”
Eliana nodded, stepping closer to the counter. “That makes sense. Especially with everything she’s been through.”
I glanced at her, surprised by the lack of accusation.
She gestured towards the bowl. “I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong, Sledge. I just thought I’d try something different. See if she’d go for it.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then she doesn’t,” Eliana said simply. “No harm done.”
Zoya shifted beside me, her eyes going from Eliana back to me.
Eliana noticed instantly. She crouched down so she was eye level with her, her voice softening. “Hey, Z. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. You can just try one bite. Or none at all. Totally your call.”
Zoya glanced up at me, her eyes wide. It was at times like this I wished my daughter could say what she wanted to say.
“So what’s in it?” I asked.
“Today’s is blueberry and banana with chia seeds, granola, and peanut butter.”
I glanced over at Zoya. “Blueberries? What do you reckon?” I took a blueberry from the bowl and tossed it into my mouth. “Tates pretty good, you gonna give it a try?”
That seemed to be enough.
She picked up the spoon, dipped it cautiously into the bowl, and took a tiny bite.
Then another.
I watched as she kept going. A few minutes later, the bowl was scraped clean. I stared at the empty dish in amazement.
To her credit, Eliana didn’t gloat. But I didn’t miss the triumphant smile tugging at her lips as she turned to rinse the dishes.
“You happy now?” The question came out on a low growl whispered in her ear.
Her shoulders fell but I didn’t miss the shiver she tried to shake off.
Was it because of me? My proximity? Did she get a thrill arguing with me the way I did with her?
“I’m pleased,” she finally answered, glancing over her shoulder at me in a way that made my balls tighten in my boxers.
“We found something she likes and that’s a good start, I think. ”
There was something in her tone, and calm, unbothered confidence that did something to me.
She irritated me with her fucking distracted way of humming, but I couldn’t look away.
Not from the fine line of her jaw, the straight line of her nose.
The way the shoulder slipped slightly off one shoulder, showing off smooth golden-brown skin with a freckle on her neck and a scar near her collarbone.
Soft, pink lips in the perfect bow. In the few days she’d been in our lives I was starting to get a bit too interested in Zoya’s new babysitter.
Fuck.
I ripped my gaze from her and reached for my keys. “I’m heading out.”
“Club business?” she asked in a tone that made me feel exposed.
“None of your business.”
“Right,” she grumbled under her breath. “Well Zoya and I are going to have some fun today, aren’t we?” Her gaze slid past me to my little girl, a small smile on her full lips.
I looked to Zoya, who nodded and gave me a smile.
The smile came more frequently these days, and I wondered what kind of magic spell Eliana had woven around my little girl.
“Good. Have all the fun.” I kissed the top of Zoya’s head, intending to leave but I couldn’t because when I straightened and turned away from my daughter, there was Eliana.
She wore a knowing look on her face as if she knew what I was doing.
As if she could tell I was fleeing rather than facing the chaos that raged inside of me.
With her smile fixed in place, her gaze met me head on, as if she was challenging me.
The sun lit her up, or maybe it was just that bright fucking sweater and the humming, which had returned.
This time I still hated it, but it did something odd, intensifying yet calming my racing heart.
I hated it.
Fuck that, I loved it too.
Finally, I got my shit together and stormed out of the kitchen and headed to my garage before I did something stupid like smile back.