Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
Austin
“CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE Jesse is?” Elle didn’t look up at me. Instead, she hid behind another bite of the soul food I’d poured my heart into.
I had known the words were coming. Even so, my stomach stiffened when they hit my ears. I could tell she didn’t want to wonder, but she had wondered enough to want to know.
Nausea punched my gut.
“Jesse’s in holding. There’s a separate division for recruits who have been rolled back due to injury or trouble. He’ll stay there until his Captain’s Mast, where he’ll learn the consequences of his actions,” I answered honestly. Maybe it would be enough for her to know where he was.
“What do they do while they’re waiting?” Elle asked. She leaned forward, giving me her full attention.
She cared more about his situation than I preferred, but I couldn’t blame her. Her feelings were genuine, unlike his.
She noticed my annoyance before adding, “I don’t want you to think I necessarily care to see him. I just … I’m curious about where he is now.”
“Honestly, it depends on why a recruit was rolled back. Usually, they help maintain the base, clean the facilities, do landscaping, stuff like that. Pretty much whatever is needed until their next stop is decided. For Jesse, that will likely be a discharge from the Navy. The timeline is indefinite.”
Elle’s brows kissed the middle of her forehead at the word indefinite.
“Is the girl from the video in holding too?”
The taste of bile crawled up the back of my throat like a demon from the depths.
I watched her put her fork down and realize there was a chance they were still seeing each other, still communicating, and still having sex.
Worry bleached the color from her complexion.
Unsure how to respond, I decided honesty was the best I could do.
I already had too large of a lie waiting for fire to load more into the barrel.
“She is. There are separate barracks for males and females. You see how hard that is to enforce with one hundred percent accuracy though.”
Could my sarcasm lessen the reality of the situation?
Her eye roll told me it couldn’t.
“It’s very unlikely that Jesse is still in frequent contact with Ms. Camellino. Surveillance is doubled in the holding divisions for many reasons.”
I watched the wheels turn in Elle’s head like our minds were connected. Defeat was evident in her exhale, but her resilience found a way out through the angry flare of her nostrils.
“I want nothing more than to start moving forward, Austin. I’m just afraid I won’t be able to do that without talking to him and getting more closure.
Do you know when I might be able to do that?
Respectfully, you’re the only one who can answer that question, so I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide me with all the information you can. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
God, she could melt me.
Not only did she deserve to start moving forward, but she also knew how to reason with me respectfully. Although entirely inappropriate, I imagined her in my bed—respectfully. Naked—respectfully. Backing up the creamiest, most mouthwatering ass I’d ever seen against me—respectfully.
My thoughts were so out of line that they even surprised me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d craved something so desperately that it felt like I would die if I didn’t devour it.
It was clear that I would do anything she asked, whether I wanted to or not.
All she had to do was say my name or the word respectfully at the end of a sentence, and I was a dead man.
Like dead, dead.
I adjusted my spine toward the top of my chair, attempting to convey the strength and honesty I knew Elle needed. The last thing I needed though was Jesse clouding her head and interfering with the possibility that she and I could become something more.
Preventing them from ever speaking again was impossible. Jesse would gain access to a phone sometime soon, and Elle would be the first person he called. As much as I didn’t want it to happen, I knew it needed to.
It would be better if I attended their inevitable reunion.
“I’m sure this is incredibly frustrating, and I understand that you need more closure.
I really do. It’s not my place to stand between you and Jesse, but there’s only so much flexibility that my position allows before I put my career at risk.
Showing you the security footage was a major gamble,” I reminded her.
I wanted to give her everything in my power. But my power could only stretch so far.
“I know. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Truly. You’ve gone above and beyond. I understand you’re in a difficult position.” Her posture softened, like she’d just fought a battle and lost.
Stop fucking this up, I warned myself.
“Can we make a deal?” I offered.
Her eyes lit up at my change of pace.
“I’m not due back on base until Monday at the earliest, Tuesday if I take the extra day off they allow after a graduation weekend. Showing up before then would look suspicious. If you have time before your flight, I’ll take you to talk to Jesse before you leave.” I hesitated.
Their meeting had to happen for both of our sakes.
She was right.
“Really?!” she exclaimed, swiftly scooting her chair away from the table.
“If it will help you, I’ll do my best to make that happen. I want you to have what you need to move forward.”
Her slow-growing smile was a mix of appreciation, realization, and terror. She knew it meant facing Jesse head-on.
And I knew it could mean confronting my truth.
She placed her hands on her thighs and steadied herself before her eyes found mine. Was that what she would look like, sitting before me, if she felt about me the way I felt about her?
She really was breathtaking.
“Thank you, Austin. Seriously. I … I don’t know how I could ever repay you for everything you’ve done to help me.”
“You don’t have to repay me. All I ask is that you finish your breakfast before we go back to your hotel. The noises coming from your stomach are distracting me,” I insisted playfully.
She needed nourishment. Unfortunately, food was my only way of getting that into her for the time being. Maybe when she grew to trust me more—when she knew the truth—I could nourish her in other ways.
God, I wanted to give her everything she needed.
Everything she deserved.
After breakfast, I followed Elle out the front door and opened my driver’s door for her. The dropping temperatures kept her arms secured around her chest.
“You want to drive? Let The Ol’ Green Goddess take your mind off things for a while,” I asked. “Usually works well for me.”
As if I needed something else to love about her, without hesitation, she agreed and hopped into the driver’s seat. She drove us back to her hotel in my baby, like it had been made for her, while I gave directions and fought every urge to spill my truth.
I was the one writing back to you, I begged my mouth not to say, admiring the freedom lacing her smile.
Someone had waited their entire life for the unspoken connection we shared.
And it wasn’t Jesse Jenkins.
It was me.