52. Izzy #2
He squeezes my fingers. “Those babies were my salvation. I’d never even thought about playing hockey before, but one day I saw some kids playing street ball and it looked like fun.
I lied and told my dad that my mom had bought me a pair, so he got me the newest ones he could find.
I carried those things with me everywhere.
” Zach holds my gaze. “The morning after our first date, I went back online and bought that pair we’d been looking at.
When I finally get you over to my place, I might even let you touch them. ” He wiggles his eyebrows.
A laugh bubbles out of me, but it sounds a bit strangled. “I’d like that.” I force myself to relax a little bit. “Is that how you got into hockey?”
He nods. “Yep. Our middle school was small enough that all the grades were lumped into one team. I decided to try out, and the rest - as they say - is history.”
“Just like that?” I ask. “You were amazing right from the start?”
Zach narrows his eyes. “You have doubts?”
I roll my eyes.
“I will say, my natural ability to be great helped, but it was Coach Miller who really pushed me.” He pauses.
“I haven’t thought about him in a while, but he was probably my first role model.
I was always getting into fights at school, getting in trouble.
I had problems controlling my anger, and it only got worse as my parents got more distant.
I’ll always remember the day he pulled me aside and told me to knock that shit off.
” He chuckles. “He told me to focus on my game and to get my aggression out on the ice. He said that I could really be something someday, but I had to keep my nose clean and stick with it. So, I did.”
Hearing Zach talk about his old coach makes me want to hunt down this Coach Miller and give him a giant hug. Zach might seem all rough and strong, but I can see the sad, angry boy he’s left buried inside.
I listen to Zach when he tells me about getting a full ride to college.
I listen when he tells me about his dad moving away to California after he graduated high school, and how he’s never seen him since.
I listen to Zach when he tells me that his dad remarried just a year after moving and how a few years after that he had two daughters.
His dad told him this through emails and the occasional phone call, but he never invited Zach to visit.
Never offered to introduce Zach to his sisters.
I even listen when Zach talks about coming home the first summer after his freshman year of college.
How his mom had moved in with her new boyfriend and how awkward and uncomfortable it was to be there.
I listened right up until Zach told me that his mom stopped by his college for lunch one day, his Sophomore year, to tell him that she got remarried.
And how they kept it a small affair, immediate family only.
How she knew he’d been busy with school, so she didn’t bother inviting him.
That’s when I couldn’t listen anymore, and the first tear rolled down my cheek.
“Don’t be sad for me, Sugar. It was a long time ago,” Zach tells me, gently wiping the tear away.
“I’m so sorry.”
My legs are still in his lap when he pulls me in for a hug. It’s a little awkward, but I hug him back with all my might. Trying to offer him comfort even though I’m clearly more upset at the moment than he is.
“Let’s talk about something else," he murmurs into my hair.
I shake my head and pull back, urging him to continue his story.
He does.
He tells me about going to Scandinavia to play as a way to find a fresh start. He circles back around to talk about his high school, college, and Finland friends. I know he’s putting emphasis on them to make up for the sinking sadness I feel over his parents' abandonment.
I always thought what my mom did was bad, leaving and never looking back, but I feel now that maybe she did me a favor. She’s out of reach but at least she never teased me with the possibility of a future together.
“I’m so sorry - ” I say again.
“Please, don’t be. Yeah, it’s fucked up, but it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
I have my moments of being upset about it, but I’m done trying to change them.
It won’t happen. And at least they have their own money.
It’d be worse if they suddenly had shown an interest in me when I started making a decent salary.
At this point, when I want a family, I’ll just make my own. ”
Oh. Wow.
I feel like my swallow is audible.
“Your turn, Sugar. Obviously, I know your dad…”
He trails off, the question is clear. What about my mom?
So I tell him. I tell him about her leaving when I was four.
How she left and never came back. Similar to his reasoning, if she wanted to talk to me, she could find me easily enough.
She never has, probably never will. But I won’t search for her either.
I tell Zach about my lack of friends growing up.
About being the new kid all too often, about maturing early and in turn alienating the other girls.
Hearing him call those kids little bitches sends me into a fit of giggles.
I explain to him how great of a parent my dad has always been and how I never lacked for anything.
“That first day when we went out to lunch together, I got jealous of the relationship that you have with your dad.” Zach admits.
“It was easy to see how much he cares about you. And you were both so open with your affection for each other. And I might still be a little jealous, but I’m glad you have him.
You deserve to have someone in your corner, encouraging you. ”
“You deserve that too, Zach.”
This time I’m the one to initiate the kiss. It’s gentle and familiar and full of a new hope. The way his hands hold me tells me that he feels it too.
I want to do so much more. I want to climb onto his lap and show him how special he is. I want him to know that I’ll be that person for him, full of encouragement and support. But I remember where we are and pull back.
“Enough depressing family crap,” I say. “What did you go to school for?”
He smirks. “Education. Figured when I got too old, or too injured to play, I could be a coach.”
I beam - “Really?”
“Yeah, maybe try my hand with a bunch of middle school shitheads.”
My heart melts, and my turtledove flops against my ribs cooing. “You could be their version of a Coach Miller.”
“Something like that.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d say Zach was blushing.
I grin. This man is too adorable for his own good.
He traces a finger across my bottom lip before sighing. “Speaking of coaches, I should probably bring you home. I need to get my beauty rest before our game tomorrow.”
Zach stands, then helps me up.
Keeping my hand in his, he leads the way out the front door to his truck.
“Want to plug your address in the GPS or give me directions yourself?” Zach asks as he opens the passenger door for me.
This is it, the last bit of hidden information.
“Just head towards your house and I’ll direct you from there.”
“Okaaay...” he drags the word out before shutting the door behind me.
Zach starts up the engine and heavy metal fills the speakers. He quickly turns down the volume and glances over at me.
“Oops.”
I laugh. “So, you’re a metalhead?”
He shrugs. “In Finland everyone listens to metal. It’s kinda crazy, but I like it. How about you? What’s your favorite music?”
“I know you’ll hate this, but I love pop. All the bubbly stuff that everyone and their mother listens to. Especially songs that are easy to sing along with, those are my jam.”
Shifting into drive, Zach glances my way. “So you like to sing, do you?”
I shake my head. “Not on my own, and not in front of other people. So get that personal concert idea out of your brain.”
“What about in the shower? Do you sing there?”
I give him my best disapproving glare and refuse to answer. He laughs.
“Should I be getting on here?” Zach asks as we approach the entrance to the highway.
“Yep.”
“Are you going to remember to tell me when to turn?”
“Like I said, just drive like you’re going home.”
He hums his response.
“I don’t think I ever asked - how was the move in? Are you liking the neighborhood?”
“The moving part was really easy. I didn’t own anything big, hardly anything at all, so I was able to move it in one carload. I have a storage unit with some random crap from back in my college years. I suppose someday I’ll have to venture down and go through it all.”
“Have you bought the furniture you need?”
“The important things. Living room stuff, dining set, bed.” At the word bed he winks.
I roll my eyes, but it was funny.
“I’m glad to hear that. Sounds like you’re on your way to making it a home.”
“Gotta love living in the age of online ordering and delivery. But I’d gladly take any help you’re willing to offer when it comes to all the other things I need to buy. Like kitchen stuff, rugs, crap for my walls.”
“Oh I don’t know, you proved yourself to be quite the talented painter the other night. You could make your own art collection.”
Zach laughs and the sound ricochets through my body. “With the right muse, anything is possible. And I hate to keep asking, but should I take this exit?” Zach gestures to the exit that leads to our neighborhood.
“Yep.”
“Hmmm.”
He’s getting suspicious.
We ride in silence as he keeps glancing at me before taking the turns he would take to get to his house. I just smile.
After he makes the turn to go down his block, he opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.
“Take your next right.”
We both look to the right as we pass his house.
Then he turns at the next intersection.
“Take your next right,” I say again.
He does.
“Slow down. My house is the second one on the right.”
Zach follows my directions and pulls into my driveway.
Putting his truck in park, I see him looking down the block as though he can see through the houses, realizing just how close we live to each other. Nearly back-to-back.
Zach’s head slowly turns to look at me.
“Thanks for the ride!” I quickly unbuckle, intending to jump out of the car.
“Nuh-uh, hold up.” Zach grasps my wrist before I can turn away. “You really live here?”
I nod.
“You live like three houses away from mine, and you never told me?”
“You never asked.” I bat my eyes innocently.
Zach chuckles. “No wonder you knew so much about this area. And knew I’d love the house. Glad to know my tastes are up to par.”
He’s being so chill about this that I feel a little bad. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“No, you probably did the right thing. If I had known you were this close, I would’ve pulled a John Cusack and stood under your window every night. Eventually I’d have gotten arrested for stalking, and then my chance with you would’ve been ruined.” He slides his hand down to intertwine our fingers.
I smile. “You’re probably right. I’m not sure I could date a criminal.”
Zach pulls my hand up and presses a soft kiss against my knuckles. “I like knowing that you’re close. Once you get used to having me around, I’ll try to convince you to let me sleep over. But until then, know that I’m just a phone call away. If you need anything, you let me know.”
“Thank you, Zach.” I squeeze his hand.
“And don’t get me wrong - I very, very badly want to follow you inside tonight, but I’m going to be a gentleman. ”
I bite my lip, I’m not sure I want him to be a gentleman.
“Sugar, you best stop looking at me like that. You’ve had a few drinks tonight, and I know you aren’t drunk, but I want you to be 100% clear headed when you agree to this. I’ve waited this long. Another couple of nights won’t kill me.”
“I won’t change my mind. I want this, too. But I can agree to your terms.”
“Good. Now let me walk you to your door before my willpower runs out.”
With that, Zach is out of the truck, striding around the hood to open my door.
“M’lady - ” he extends his hand.
“Thank you, kind sir.”
I smile at his playfulness while I slide out of my seat.
As we walk up the short path to my front door, I feel a sense of calm float through me. This feels right. Us. Waiting. All of it. It all feels right.
Stopping at the bottom of the steps leading up to my patio, Zach turns me to face him.
“I have one more request," he says seriously.
“Anything.”
“Please, when you come to our game tomorrow, wear my number. Or none at all. If I see you in Jackson’s jersey one more fucking time, I’m going to have to fight the man.”
“We can’t have that - ” I grin and use my finger to draw an X over my heart. “You have my word.”
“Seal the promise with a kiss?” Zach whispers as he closes the distance between us.
I have time for one nod before his mouth covers mine.
Zach wastes no time with tentative kisses. His lips claim mine, and the urgent brush of his tongue forces my lips to part. He tastes good. Too good. And I moan into his mouth.
His hands come up to frame my face, and possibly hold me still, as he devours me.
There’s space between our bodies and I use the opportunity to run my palms up and down his chest. His muscles clench and flex under my touch.
When my hands slide around his sides to grip his back, he groans and presses his body against mine. You’d think from our past experiences together, I wouldn’t be surprised at the size of him anymore, but I am. I let out a small moan as I press into his hardness.
I’m about a second away from dragging him inside to spend the night with me, when he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine.
His voice comes out rough, “Sugar.”
I know he’s not looking for an answer, so we just stand together, gasping for breath.
Zach breaks the stillness when he reaches down to adjust himself, and I can’t help but watch.
“Get your sexy ass inside now. I’m going to wait here until I hear the door lock behind you.”
“You don’t need to worry. I’ve been managing to lock my door for years.”
“I’m sure you have. But you’re mine now, and I’ll worry as much as I want to.” He kisses me on the nose before swatting my ass. “Now get inside.”
I laugh, but I comply. Stepping through my door, I turn back to see him watching me.
“Good night, Zach.”
“Sweet dreams, Sugar.”