16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan
Y ou’re the first friend I’ve brought home.
Those words carried me through the next few hours as I sat at Nanny’s kitchen table. I hadn’t known what to expect, but two nonagenarians—Simeon typed the word out for me after his grandmother used it repeatedly—with lively temperaments and tons of stories to share wasn’t necessarily it.
I loved Nanny and Bops almost from the moment I laid eyes on them.
Nanny asked if she could give me a hug.
I was so surprised, I just nodded. As she gently held me, tears flooded to my eyes. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged me. Truly. That horrified me. Surely someone…but a memory didn’t come to me. The couple of hookups I’d had certainly hadn’t been about feelings or touchy-feely stuff.
Simeon guided his grandmother back to the stove as I’d taken a moment to compose myself. He always seemed to know the right thing to do.
His grandfather introduced himself, said we could always hug it out later and then proceeded to tell me how he’d worked with an architect and a builder to design the perfect house. And that he hadn’t known his favorite grandson would move in, wasn’t it perfect?
Only grandson, Simeon was quick to point out.
His grandfather grinned.
And so it went for hours. Nanny served lasagna, but that was almost secondary to the conversation. For an accountant, Bops had so many stories. Nanny had many of her own—mainly gossip from Mission City. She pulled out a map and gave me a tour of everything I had to do and everyone I had to meet.
I should’ve been taking notes.
Rainbow had arranged to deliver Simeon’s truck in the early afternoon. She just showed up, handed Simeon the keys, consented to taking a tray of lasagna back to the ranch—Nanny had made three—and then she was gone. Like this was an everyday occurrence, and this was just neighbors helping neighbors. Apparently she asked after me and Simeon told her that Nanny was taking care of me.
Which was the truth.
Later, Simeon followed me as I drove home in my car. To be safe, he assured me. No big deal.
Way big deal.
The next morning, I went back to Starbucks. Tristan the barista was happy to give me my order of coffee, tea, and two lemon loaves.
This time, I popped a cassette into the console and Bon Jovi belted out “Living On A Prayer”. I might’ve sung at the top of my lungs. I was not going to have another fucking panic attack. No way. Because I wouldn’t be lucky to have a Felix to take care of me. And certainly Simeon couldn’t afford another day off work. I didn’t even want to think about what I’d cost him. A coffee and a slice of lemon bread was hardly going to make up for that.
Yet I also couldn’t regret yesterday.
In the end, it’d been one of the best of my life—despite the inauspicious beginning.
The next song started, and I regretted that I couldn’t hit a button to skip back. Rewind on a tape deck was a pain in the ass. I’d lucked out and found a treasure trove of cassettes at Value Village when I’d went there the first week I was in town. The store was within walking distance, so I’d ventured out. After buying, like, fifty cassettes, I’d eyed the uphill walk and decided a cab would be just fine.
As I headed into the hills, I hummed along to a song I didn’t recognize. And I couldn’t sort out the lyrics. In my past life, I would’ve googled the song to figure out what the fuck they were singing. In this iteration of my life, I’d remain in ignorance.
The houses this far out of town tended to be down long driveways, so the scenery was tons of trees and a few driveways with mailboxes. Simeon’s house had been barely visible from the road. I’d noticed that when I’d left. I’d also noted the street sign for Ferrars and, as I’d passed Maddox’s street, been pleased I could orient myself. I kept Rainbow’s map in my glove box.
The driveway to the ranch was well-marked with a huge welcoming sign I’d barely noticed the first time I’d done this trip. Now I’d ventured out almost half-a-dozen times. A kinship was building between me and this wondrous place. I wasn’t healed—not by a long shot—but things that had seemed impossible two weeks were beginning to feel possible today.
Simeon had brought me to his house. To take care of me. To introduce me to his grandparents. To ensure I recovered from one of my worst panic attacks.
He’d even sent a text to Jacob, Felix’s husband, to pass along to him. Like that was something neighbors just did.
Finally, just before I’d left, Simeon had insisted we exchange phone numbers. Somehow, we hadn’t done that before. Because…it felt like a shift in the relationship? Simeon clearly didn’t see me as anything other than a friend. So that’s what friends did—exchanged phone numbers. Texting him would be a nightmare, but at least I knew how to do it on the flip phone. Those few precious texts I’d sent over the past few weeks had been worth the effort…and had also made me wish for a smart phone with a keyboard.
Maybe one day…
Simeon’s truck, Rainbow’s SUV, and another SUV I’d spotted before were in the driveway. Kennedy’s? The sun had barely crested the horizon. I would’ve waited in the car until Simeon arrived, but I wasn’t surprised to see he’d already gotten started. Between losing yesterday and the work he’d done at Maddox’s, he must’ve been way behind schedule. Hopefully I could help him today.
I exited my car after parking next to his truck. I made my way around to the passenger side and retrieved my precious cargo.
“Woof!”
I pressed a hand to my chest and spun. “Sheesh, Tiffany, way to scare a guy.”
“Sorry.” Rainbow rounded the corner of the ranch house. She headed our way at a quick clip. “We weren’t expecting anyone for a bit so she’s running loose. She’s, uh, happy to see you.”
She also appeared to be eyeing my food, but that might’ve been my projection. I put the drink tray on the trunk. I bent forward as much as I could and held out my hand.
Tiffany sniffed, then licked.
Rainbow laughed. “I think Simeon has wipes in the cabin. Oh, wait, the water’s hooked up.”
“I really don’t mind.” I figured doggie germs were about the least of my problems these days.
“Well, I’m not great about washing my hands either, and nothing bad’s ever happened to me. Kennedy’s much better at remembering. Oh, and Justin and Denise. I think when you have kids, you perceive the world differently. See dangers that someone like me—happily single—would never worry about.”
“Yeah…happily single…”
She cocked her head. “Sorry—”
I waved her off. “No.” I forced a chuckle. “I’ve always been single. I was just thinking of some men I knew…” I swallowed. “Being married carries risks. Being single doesn’t have the same, uh, stuff.”
“Shit?”
“Yes.” This time I laughed. “Yes. Married is complicated.” Yet Maddox and Ravi flashed to my mind. Happy marriages did exist. I had no question of the love they shared. And their kids were pretty damn special too.
“That coffee’s probably getting cold. Simeon can come to the house if he needs to heat it up.”
“Is there not a microwave in the little house?”
She met my gaze. “I think so.”
Ah. So she’s worried about me. “I should…I mean, it’s just a microwave.”
“Small steps, Ryan. I can’t possibly know what you’ve been through. But I do know everyone has their own recovery trajectory. And it’s never a straight line.”
“Are you certain you’re not on the counseling staff?”
She shivered dramatically. “Nope. And I’m about to check on the horses. Just shout if you need something.”
I wouldn’t.
And she likely knew that.
But her offer was super sweet.
I scratched Tiffany behind the ears before she and Rainbow took off toward the stables. Then I snagged the drink tray with the food and headed to the little house. I didn’t even know if the thing had a name.
Knock or don’t knock? I don’t want to—
The door opened.
Problem solved.
Simeon grinned. “You’re h-here.”
“I am.”
He held up his thermal coffee mug. “I was j-just about to sneak over and s-steal some of Rainbow’s coffee.”
I gestured to the large cup on my tray. “Good timing, then.”
Gently he snagged it—ensuring everything else didn’t tip over.
“She said you can heat it up at the house. But then she also thinks the microwave here might be hooked up.”
Simeon held the door open for me to venture into the space. Then he closed the door behind me.
“This is s-still hot. I’ll p-pour it into my mug.” He moved to the kitchen bar and did just that.
I considered removing my jacket, but a chill permeated the air. “Still no heat?”
“Oh, I can t-turn on the heat. The b-baseboards work just fine.” He squinted. “I prefer to w-work in a slightly chillier atmosphere.”
“No worries then.” My coat would get some construction dust on it, but I should’ve thought of that before walking into a construction site with it. Oh well…good lesson. You would’ve never thought of it before . And I wouldn’t have. That hadn’t been how I rolled. “What can I do to help?”
Simeon finished pouring his coffee into his thermal mug, then moved behind the bar and into the kitchen. “There’s r-recycling and garbage back here.”
“Good to know. Thank you.”
He eyed my tea. “Haven’t done c-compost yet. On the l-list.”
“You’re doing everything?”
“As much as I c-can. I want it to be move-in ready.”
“That’s cool.” I gestured to the flooring. “You ready to tackle this?”
He eyed me.
Looking at my coat, undoubtedly. “It’s fine, Simeon. There is such a thing as dry cleaning.” Can you take wool to a dry cleaner? Surely one must be able to…
Finally, he nodded. “L-let’s get to work.”
I hadn’t told Simeon about speaking to my doctor earlier in the week because, at the time, it had felt inconsequential. She said a bit of physical activity was good, but to not overdo it. Marcus had basically said the same thing. So as I sorted planks of laminate to match colors and painted a bit of trim, I felt a sense of accomplishment. So what if I wasn’t doing the big physical stuff? So what if Simeon could’ve done the work in a fraction of the time? So what if maybe he was humoring me? I was out of the house. I was helping Kennedy and Rainbow. I was making progress and doing tasks Marcus would undoubtedly feel was helping me progress to a better state of health. Certainly better than sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.
We took a break for lunch and headed over to the ranch house where Rainbow stuffed us with chicken salad and Nanny’s lasagna.
Truly amazing.
Simeon and I went back to work, but at four, I headed back over to the ranch house for my appointment with Justin.
Rainbow met me as I entered and pulled me aside. “I’m so sorry.”
I cocked my head.
“Justin’s client ran late.” She gazed around, as if trying to ensure we weren’t overheard. “I can’t give details, but it’s bad.”
Instantly, I understood. I smiled sympathetically. Clearly, she was uncomfortable. “Rainbow, I’m not in a crisis. I can see Justin later today or another day entirely. We’ve made progress, but…” This time, I gazed around. “I think my time with Simeon and…the others around here…” I considered. “That’s helping too, you know?”
Uncertainty clouded her pale-blue eyes.
“You’re thinking about yesterday.”
She nodded.
“Actually, I think Justin not being available was a good thing. I had to dig deep and find a way to cope. Simeon was…amazing. And Nanny’s lasagna?”
She grinned.
I smiled back. “His grandparents were so welcoming. And normal. They treated me like being over and Simeon being at home in the middle of a workday was perfectly normal. They were just…normal…”
A little laugh burst from her. “Yeah, I can see that. We try to emphasize keeping things simple. Stretching boundaries is good—when you’re ready for it.”
“Which I’m not.”
“But you did. You chose to go somewhere unfamiliar—”
“Simeon is familiar, though. You see that, right? He’s just…” Perfect.
“One of the best men I’ve ever known? Yes, I see that.”
Since she appeared very much like she wanted to touch me, I reached out and touched her forearm. She’d made it clear that was fine. That she welcomed touch when it helped. I understood that she meant not in a creepy way. I got it. “I’m okay. Truly. Is there a way to let Justin know?”
She shook her head, placing her hand on mine. “If you weren’t okay with this, then I had permission to knock. Truly, Justin…” She blinked. “Sometimes I feel impotent. With hurt…with rage…”
I understood. Deep in my bones, I understood. If someone was here and needed that kind of support, then the least I could do was give up a spot.
The back sliding door opened. “Hey, Rainbow.” A young boy walked in.
I guessed he was about eleven or so. He had dark-brown eyes and curly dark-brown hair nicely trimmed.
Rainbow grinned. “Hey kiddo, I didn’t remember you planning to come here.”
“Papa’s running Opal to the doctor—she’s got a fever or something. Instead of trying to scoop me up from school, he texted Dad to see if I could come here. He said okay.” He leaned in. “I don’t understand why I can’t stay home alone. I’m twelve.” He rolled his eyes. “Not that here isn’t amazing. I just…don’t want to be underfoot.”
With a smile, she wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “Feel like mucking out stalls?”
To my surprise, the boy didn’t wrinkle his nose. “Sure. Can we ride as well?”
Rainbow looked outside.
Angus and I followed her gaze.
Although the boy was barely damp—there’d been a light drizzle mere moments ago—the rain now poured down. The sound of it hitting the roof permeated my consciousness.
I smiled. “Maybe not.” I turned to the boy and stuck out my hand. “Ryan.”
He grinned. “Angus Powers. My dads are Justin and Stanley. My foster sister is Opal. I love mucking stalls.”
I blinked. “Well, okay then.”
“You have a book to read?” Rainbow glanced outside. “Mucking stalls can wait. Even in your raincoat and boots, you’ll get wet.”
“True.” He turned to me. “I get to keep spare gear here so I can always help out.”
“That’s great.” I glanced around. “This is a pretty awesome place.”
“It is.”
A timer dinged. Rainbow started to move away. “You keep yourselves occupied. Angus, don’t ask questions.” She moved to the kitchen.
Angus grinned. “I suspect you’re a client and so I won’t ask anything. I have a book to read…” He glanced off toward the direction where Rainbow had come. “But I also got a really cool game last night. Dad wants me to play more games. So I’m not as far behind my friends.”
“You don’t play a lot of video games?” I arched an eyebrow.
“I prefer Tolkien. My dads say I need balance.”
I snickered. “I’m pretty sure there’s a Tolkien video game—”
“There are and I play them. But this new one…” He moved toward the lounge area where two couches were positioned across from each other. He’d toed off his shoes and hung up his coat while speaking with Rainbow—as if doing those things were the most natural in the world. Now he dropped his knapsack on the floor. He pulled out a handheld game console, then flopped onto the couch. He patted the seat next to him. “Since I’m not allowed to ask you about your therapy sessions, why don’t you come and play a game with me.”
I think explaining the intricacies of my cognitive-behavioral therapy might be simpler.
Still, the rain poured down. Returning to Simeon would mean getting soaked and then being chilled. Running to my car meant getting soaked and driving in less-than-ideal conditions.
Joining Rainbow in the kitchen held appeal.
Yet when this young man held out the game console—likely figuring a twenty-something guy knew how to play—I bolted.